Zephaniah

Zephaniah 1

1. Yo, check it out, this is the word from the LORD that Zephaniah, son of Cushi, grandson of Gedaliah, great-grandson of Amariah, and great-great-grandson of Hizkiah, received during the reign of Josiah, son of Amon, as king of Judah.
2. Yo, I’m gonna straight up wipe everything out from this land, declares the LORD. I’m talking a total sweep, no kidding. This place is gonna be wiped clean.
3. I’ll wipe out humans and animals, birds in the sky, fish in the sea, and even those idols that lead people off track—they’re all gonna be history. No more humans left in this land, says the LORD.
4. I’m gonna roll up on Judah and everyone in Jerusalem, and I’m gonna clean up all that leftover Baal stuff in this place. Chemarims and priests, you’re outta here too!
5. Those who post selfies on social media, worshipping the stars; those who are all about the latest trends and swear by the LORD, and swear by their newest idols;
6. And those who’ve totally ghosted the Lord, not even bothering to seek Him or ask Him anything.
7. Yo, when the Almighty God shows up, stay reverent, ’cause Judgment Day is coming up fast. The Lord’s throwing a major event and has invited His chosen crew.
8. When the LORD flexes His power on that day, He’s gonna school the high and mighty, even the royal fam. And those rocking some questionable styles better watch out too. God’s not messing around, fam. 👑⚡
9. On that same day, I’m calling out those who invade personal space, like showing up uninvited and causing chaos. They think it’s cool to stir up trouble at their bosses’ place. Well, I’m shutting that down real quick.
10. And yo, on that day, declares the LORD, there’ll be intense cries from the Fish Gate, loud howls from the Second Gate, and a thunderous crash from the hills.
11. OMG, listen up, people in Maktesh, it’s a major downer—traders are wiped out, and those with cash are totally gone.
12. Yo, when the time comes, I’ll light up Jerusalem like some lit candles and call out those who are just chilling—those who think in their hearts that the LORD won’t bring blessings or consequences. (It’s like when curds get thickened, you know?)
13. So, like, their stuff is gonna get snatched away, and their houses will be left empty. They’ll try to build houses, but won’t get to live in ’em, you know? They’ll plant vineyards, but won’t get to sip the wine.
14. Yo, the big day of the LORD is right around the corner, like super close and coming at us fast, you know? It’s gonna be intense, like the sound of that day is gonna be so powerful, like mega loud, ya know? Even the toughest guys are gonna be shedding some serious tears, like super intense crying and stuff, man.
15. That day is gonna be super intense, like, all about wrath, trouble, distress, wasteland, desolation, darkness, gloom, clouds, and like, thick darkness and stuff.
16. Get ready for a wake-up call that’s gonna shake fortified cities and rock those tall towers!
17. I’m gonna stress people out so bad, they’ll stumble around like they’re blind, all because they messed up and went against the Lord. They’ll suffer big time, with blood spilled like dust and bodies left like trash on the ground.
18. Their fancy riches won’t save them when the man upstairs lets loose his anger and burns up the whole land. He’ll swiftly wipe out everyone living there.

Zephaniah 2

1. Yo, check it out, fam! Gather ’round, everyone! We’re talking to those who feel left out or overlooked. You know, maybe you’re not on everyone’s radar, but we’re all about including you!
2. Yo, listen up before it’s too late—before the sun goes down and it’s all just noise, before God’s righteous anger comes crashing in, before His day of reckoning arrives.
3. Hey, all you cool people out there, pay attention! If you’ve been keeping it real with the Man upstairs, now’s the time to connect. Seek goodness, embrace humility, and who knows? Maybe He’ll have your back when things get wild and His judgment drops.
4. Yo, Gaza’s gonna be deserted, Ashkelon a total wasteland. They’ll straight up kick Ashdod out in broad daylight, and Ekron’s gonna get wrecked.
5. Oh snap, you beachside dwellers, Cherethites! The LORD’s bringing major trouble your way. Canaan, Philistine turf, you’re gonna be wiped out, no one left to kick it there.
6. And like, the beach will be transformed into chill spots for shepherds, with cozy spots for their flocks to kick it.
7. And the rad beach vibes will be for the remnant crew of Judah; they gonna chill and vibe there: they’ll crash in the trendy cribs of Ashkelon at sunset. ‘Cause the LORD their God is gonna show up and deliver them from their troubles.
8. So, yo, I heard those haters from Moab and the kids from Ammon dissing my crew and acting all tough on their turf.
9. Alright, check it out! This is a message straight from the Almighty God of Israel, the top boss up there. Let me break it down for ya: Moab’s gonna be like Sodom, and the Ammonites—yeah, they’ll be like Gomorrah. It’s gonna be a total wreck, with overgrown weeds and salty pits. It’ll be a wasteland forever. But no worries, ’cause my peeps who are left will come through and take ’em down. We’ll reclaim it, bit by bit.
10. They’ll face the consequences of their pride, ’cause they’ve dissed and looked down on the people of the LORD of hosts.
11. The LORD is gonna be straight up fierce with them: He’ll completely dismantle all the false gods on earth, and everyone will worship Him, from every corner of the globe.
12. Yo, Ethiopians, y’all ’bout to feel the wrath of my sword.
13. And He’s gonna show His power up north, crush Assyria, and turn Nineveh into a deserted wasteland, dried up like the desert.
14. And there will be animals chilling in the city, creatures from all over: both the cormorant and the bittern will find a spot up top; their calls will echo through the windows; desolation will be at the doorstep, for He will display His fine craftsmanship. (cormorant: or, pelican) (top…: or, knobs, or, capitals) (for…: or, when He has revealed)
15. This city used to be thriving, living its best life without a care, thinking it’s all that matters. But now, it’s all messed up and deserted, a place where wild animals hang out. Everyone who sees it will be like ‘whoa’ and shake their heads.

Zephaniah 3

1. Yo, that city is straight-up messed, yo! All about living large and stepping on others—seriously needs a reality check. #NotCool
2. She straight-up ghosted all advice, didn’t vibe with the LORD, and never even tried to connect with her God. #ZeroFaith
3. The leaders in her city are savage lions, and the judges are hungry wolves, always on the prowl for their next meal—no chill at all.
4. Those prophets? Total fakes, can’t trust ’em. And the priests? They’ve trashed the holy place and thrown out the rulebook.
5. The LORD, righteous as ever, always shows up there—never messes up. Every morning, justice rolls out without fail. But the wicked? No shame, no lesson learned. (Like clockwork, yo.)
6. I straight-up wrecked those nations, dude. Their fancy towers? Empty and eerie now. Streets? Deserted—ain’t nobody passin’ through. Cities? Ghost towns, no signs of life. And those ‘towers’ could also mean ‘corners’—just so you know.
7. I thought you’d show some respect and learn a thing or two, so your place wouldn’t get wrecked when I had to set you straight. But nope, you had to get up early and mess everything up.
8. So, listen up, God’s saying to chill and wait until the day I bring the heat. I’m about uniting nations and kingdoms and letting loose my righteous anger, ’cause the whole earth will feel my intense passion.
9. Yo, I’m gonna give people a clear and simple language so they can all call on the LORD and worship together. Let’s be real, we gotta serve Him with unity and agreement.
10. From far-out places like Ethiopia, my crew—yeah, even my scattered fam—will roll in with their offerings.
11. When that day comes, you won’t be ashamed of all the wrongs you’ve done against me. I’ll kick out those who get off on your pride, and you won’t strut around like you own my holy mountain anymore.
12. I’ll gather folks who are going through tough times and struggling, and they’ll put their trust in the Lord’s name.
13. The remnant of Israel will be straight up legit—no shady stuff, no lies. They’ll be chilling, enjoying their meals and naps, without anyone scaring them.
14. Yo, daughter of Zion, raise your voice high! Shout it out, Israel! Get hyped and rejoice with all your heart, Jerusalem!
15. Yo, the LORD has wiped out all the charges against you and totally kicked your enemies to the curb. The King of Israel—yeah, the LORD himself—is right there with you, in the mix. From now on, you won’t see any evil, not even once.
16. When that time comes, people will tell Jerusalem, “Don’t stress,” and Zion, “Don’t give up.”
17. God, mega powerful, is with you, and He’s gonna rescue you. He’s gonna be so stoked about you, like, seriously joyful. He’ll just kick back and delight in His love for you, even busting out songs of happiness.
18. I’ll gather all the peeps who’ve been feeling down for this epic gathering, those who ride with you and have been dealing with haters. It’s time to drop that weight, fam!
19. Yo, peep this! When that time comes, I’m gonna totally sort out everything that’s been rough for you. I’ll rescue those who are going through it, bring back those who were kicked to the curb, and make sure everyone knows how dope they are. They’ll get props and be big in all the spots where they once felt ashamed.
20. When that moment arrives, I’ll bring you back together and gather you up. I’m gonna make you known and respected by everyone on this earth. You’ll see me bring back your freedom right before your eyes, says the LORD.