Romans - Gen Z Bible

Romans 1

Ayo, it’s Paul droppin’ in, just reppin’ for JC, chosen as an apostle to spread God’s good vibes.
(Yeah, God totally called this play ages ago through His prophets in the holy scrolls,)
‘Bout Jesus Christ our main dude, born from the line of King David, like a regular human;
And declared, like, totally the Son of God with some serious power, you feel me? All thanks to the ultimate holiness vibe, and the fact that He bounced back from being six feet under. Legit stuff, man. Just sayin’.
We got blessed with grace and the gig of being apostles, spreading faith to everyone, all to give props to His name.
Yo, you’re invited to join the JC crew too:
Wassup to all the Rome squad, God’s got mad love for ya. He’s calling you to keep it righteous and chill. Sending you grace and peace from the big man upstairs and JC, the ultimate bro.
First off, shoutout to JC, big time. Your faith game’s on point, getting props everywhere.
God knows, I’m all in for spreading His Son’s good news with full passion. And trust, I’m always keeping you in my prayers!
Like, hoping I can finally swing by and kick it with y’all, if it’s part of God’s plan.
I’m itching to meet up, drop some spiritual wisdom, and help you level up your life, you know?
So, let’s both find some peace and support in our shared faith.
Yo, fam, gotta let you know, been trying to link up, but life’s been wild. I’m rooting for you to show some major progress, just like I do with others.
Shoutout to both the Greeks and the non-Greeks, the wise and not-so-wise.
Ready to spread that good news in Rome, no doubt.
I’m all about preaching Jesus, ’cause it’s game-changing and brings salvation to all believers, starting with the Jewish crew and reaching out to the Greeks too.
This verse? It’s all about how God’s goodness shines when you trust Him, and it just keeps getting stronger with every act of faith. Living your best life by staying true.
God’s not happy with those living godlessly, doing shady stuff when they know better.
Everyone can see God’s handiwork, no doubt. He’s made Himself clear to us.
From day one, God’s creation screams His power and divine nature. No excuses for missing that.
Back in the day, they knew God but didn’t give Him props, got lost in their own fantasies, and messed themselves up.
Thought they were smart but ended up looking foolish,
Swapped the awesome God for cheap imitations, worshiping creatures instead of the Creator.
So, God let them chase their desires, dishonoring their bodies with impurity.
Who twisted God’s truth for lies? They focused on creation instead of the Creator, who’s worthy of all praise. Amen, for real.
God let them follow impure desires, even women ditched natural for unnatural relations:
Guys ditched natural relations for each other, doing what’s not cool. Paid the price for it.
Ignored God, so He let them chase their foolish thoughts and do wrong.
They were packed with uncool stuff, doing shady deeds, being wicked, greedy, hatin’ on each other, spreading rumors, and causing drama.
Backstabbers, haters of God, negative vibes all around, boastful, wicked, disobeying parents,
They don’t get it, breaking promises, no empathy, impossible to please, no mercy, just antisocial vibes.
They know God’s gonna judge them for their actions but still do ’em and cheer others on.

Romans 2

Look, dude, you can’t go pointing fingers at others all high and mighty ’cause when you judge, you’re judging yourself. Let’s be real, you’re guilty of the same stuff.
But let’s be clear, God’s judgment is based on truth for those who mess up like that.
Do you seriously think you can judge others while doing the same stuff, and not face God’s judgment yourself?
Bro, don’t you appreciate how insanely patient and kind God is? His goodness is supposed to lead you to change, man.
But if you keep ignoring that and stay stubborn, you’re just piling up trouble for yourself, waiting for the day when God lays down the truth.
Everyone’s gonna get what’s coming to them based on their actions, you know:
For those who keep grinding, staying patient, doing good, they’re in for some epic rewards: glory, honor, immortality, and eternal life.
But for those who love drama, ignore the facts, and do wrong, get ready for some serious anger and wrath.
It’s gonna be tough for anyone doing bad, starting with the Jewish crew, but for everyone else too, you know; non-Jews included.
But big ups to everyone who stays grinding and doing good. Shoutout to the OG Jews first, and then to everyone else. Peace, honor, and blessings all around. (Non-Jew = Gr. Greek)
God doesn’t play favorites, no doubt.
Ignorance ain’t an excuse. Whether you know better or not, there are consequences for messing up.
Listen up, fam! Just knowing the law ain’t enough for God. Only those who actually follow it are considered righteous.
So, even though non-Jews don’t have the law, they naturally do what’s right. It’s like they’re their own law, man.
They know right from wrong deep down ’cause their conscience tells them. They’re constantly wrestling with moral judgments.
When God lays bare everyone’s secrets through Jesus Christ, just like I preached in the good news.
Hey, you call yourself a Jew, boast about the law, and claim a tight connection with God.
You know what’s up, and you’re all about trying out what’s different from the law, testing the waters.
You think you’re the ultimate guide for clueless peeps and a beacon for those in the dark,
You’re like the guru for clueless peeps, dropping deep law knowledge like it’s hot.
So, you preach against stealing, but do you practice what you preach? Just wonderin’, ya know.
You preach against cheating, but are you cheating yourself? And you hate on idols, but disrespect sacred stuff? Really?
If you brag about following the rules but then break them, aren’t you disrespecting God?
Seriously, guys, you’re dragging God’s name through the mud, just like it says.
Circumcision only counts if you follow the rules. If you break ’em, it’s useless.
So, if someone who’s not circumcised follows the law, shouldn’t they be seen as if they were?
And if a natural-born non-Jew follows the law, won’t they judge you, even though you’re circumcised but still break the law?
‘Cause being Jewish ain’t just about looks, and circumcision ain’t just a physical mark:
Being a Jew is about what’s inside, not just outside. It’s about a heart change, not just following rules on paper. And the real props come from God, not people.

Romans 3

So, what’s the deal with being a Jew? Does circumcision really matter?
Well, in every way, yeah, mainly ’cause they were given God’s messages to share.
But what if some folks don’t believe? Does that cancel out God’s faithfulness?
No way! God’s true, even if everyone else is shady. As it says, when folks try to bring you down, God’s truth shines brighter.
But if our mess-ups make God’s goodness shine even more, is it fair for Him to bring down the hammer? (Just thinking out loud here)
Nah, that wouldn’t fly. How would God judge everyone then?
If my lie actually makes God’s truth super obvious and gives Him credit, why am I still seen as a sinner?
And hey, some folks are spreading rumors that we’re all about doing bad stuff just to get good results. That’s messed up. Those folks deserve consequences, no doubt.
So, are we better than them? Heck no! Jews and non-Jews alike are guilty as charged.
As it’s written, ain’t nobody totally righteous, not a single soul.
Nobody gets it, nobody really seeks after God, you know?
We’ve all gone off track, together we’re useless; seriously, nobody’s doing any good.
Their mouths are like trash fires; lies pour out like venomous snakes behind their lips, dang!
They’re full of negativity and bitterness.
Quick to spill blood, it’s insane.
Chaos and suffering follow in their wake.
Peace? They wouldn’t know it if it smacked ’em in the face.
And they don’t give a darn about God.
So, the law’s for those who need to hear it, to make everyone realize we’re all in the wrong before God. Yeah, guilty as charged, you feel me?
Following rules won’t make anyone holy in God’s eyes, you know? It’s about knowing right from wrong.
But now, God’s righteousness is clear without the law, and the law and the prophets back it up, you know?
God’s goodness is for anyone who believes in Jesus, no matter who they are or where they’re from. Faith in Jesus is the key to God’s righteousness.
Everyone messes up and falls short of God’s glory.
But we’re in the clear, all thanks to God’s kindness and Jesus redeeming us.
God put Jesus forward as the one who makes things right with Him through faith in His sacrifice. That shows God’s fairness by forgiving sins because of His patience.
God wants to show off His righteousness now, you know? He wants to be fair and make anyone who believes in Jesus totally innocent and guilt-free. Pretty cool, huh?
So where’s the boasting? Nowhere. Relying on your achievements? Nope. It’s all about having faith, for real.
Basically, we’ve figured out that folks are made right with God through faith, not by following rules.
Is God just for Jews? Nah, He’s for everyone, even non-Jews:
There’s only one God who’s all about fairness. Circumcised or not, as long as you got faith, you’re good.
So, does having faith mean we can ignore the law? Heck no! We stand by the law, you know?

Romans 4

Yo, what’s the deal with Abraham, our OG patriarch, in terms of his realness?
If Abraham was all about grinding for his spot, he’d have a flex, but not when it comes to God, nah mean?
Scripture’s like, Abraham was all in on God, and boom, God was like, ‘You righteous, dude!’
If you’re putting in work, you’ll get your due ’cause you earned it, not ’cause someone’s just handing it out.
But for those who don’t hustle but trust the One who calls out the wrong as right, their faith’s on another level.
Just like how David vibes about being blessed, God straight up blesses them with righteousness without them lifting a finger.
For real, those whose wrongs are forgiven and sins swept under, they’re straight-up blessed.
That person whose sins are off God’s record? Hashtag blessed, man.
So, is this blessing gig only for the circumcised crew, or does it include everyone, even the uncircumcised? ‘Cause we’re saying Abraham’s faith made him legit, ya know.
So, when did it all go down? When he was snipped or not? Not when he was snipped, but before.
And when he got snipped, it was a sign, showing that even though he wasn’t snipped before, it was a symbol of his faith and righteousness. He’s the OG for all who believe, snipped or not. So, righteousness is for everyone.
And this snipping thing is for everyone, not just the born-into-it crew, but also those who live out that same faith as our main man Abraham did pre-snip.
Yo, the whole world being inherited wasn’t ’cause of Abraham or his descendants following the rules, but it’s all about having mad faith, ya dig?
If rule-followers get all the rewards, then faith becomes pointless and the promise is null.
Rules just bring anger; breaking them only happens when they’re there in the first place.
So, it’s like this: faith is the key to grace. The promise is for everyone, not just rule followers, but also those who have faith like Abraham, who’s basically the OG dad of us all.
(Just like it says, I’ve made you a dad to a ton of nations), before the God he believed in, who brings the dead back to life and speaks about things that don’t even exist as if they already do. (like him or similar to him)
This dude had insane faith when all seemed lost. He totally believed he’d become the dad of a ton of nations, just like promised – his fam would be massive!
And he had mad faith, so he didn’t even stress that his bod was basically dead, even though he was, like, ancient. And Sara’s barrenness? No biggie.
He didn’t doubt God’s promise; he flexed his faith and gave God all the props.
He was totally convinced that what God promised, He had the power to deliver.
So, that’s why it was counted as righteous, ya know?
But it wasn’t just for him; it’s for all of us, too.
If we believe in the One who brought Jesus back from the dead;
Jesus took the hit for all our mess-ups and then came back to make us all legit.

Romans 5

So, like, since we’re all cool with the big man upstairs thanks to our faith, we’re on peace vibes with Him all thanks to Jesus Christ, our main dude:
Through faith, we’re hooked up with this sick grace, and we’re hyped up, anticipating the epic glory of God.
And not just that, but we flex through tough times too, ’cause we know they build up our patience.
So, patience leads to experience, and experience gives hope, right?
And hope won’t let you down, ’cause God’s love is poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit He gave us.
Back in the day when we were all weaklings, at just the right moment, Christ went and died for all the godless people out there.
I mean, who’d be down to lay down their life for someone who’s just decent? But maybe, just maybe, there are a few real ones out there who’d go all in for someone genuinely good.
Yo, peep this! God showed how much He loves us by sending Christ to die for us, even when we were still messing up.
Seriously, listen up! ‘Cause now that we’re totally righteous by His blood, we’re saved from all that anger and wrath through Him. No lie!
Check it, back when we were straight-up enemies of God, His Son’s death set things right. And now that we’re all good and reconciled, we’re gonna be saved big time by His lit life.
And it’s not just that, but we’re also stoked about God through our main dude Jesus Christ, who hooked us up with some serious reconciliation vibes. Like, it’s all good now, yo.
So, because of this one guy, sin totally took over, bringing death along for the ride; and that’s how death spread to everyone, ’cause everyone’s got that sin vibe, you know? (like, it’s in their nature or something)
(Because before the rules came, sin was already in the world, but sin doesn’t count if there’s no rules.)
But, like, death was totally in charge from Adam to Moses, even over those who hadn’t sinned like Adam did, you know? Adam was just like a sneak peek of this awesome person who was gonna show up later.
But, like, the wrong thing and the awesome gift are totally different. ‘Cause, like, if one person messed up and made a lot of people dead, then like, way more awesome is God’s kindness and the gift He gives through His kindness, you know? And, like, this awesome gift comes from just one dude, Jesus Christ, and it’s been given to so many people. It’s, like, everywhere!
And it’s not like, just one person messed up, so then the gift is messed up too, okay? Like, judgey stuff happened because of one person and it was all like condemning and stuff, but the free gift is cool ’cause it covers a bunch of mistakes and makes things right.
Okay, listen up fam! Check this out – just one homie’s mistake caused death to take over the game. But yo, here’s the good news: those who embrace mad grace and the righteousness gift are gonna straight up rule this life through one person, Jesus Christ. Like, no cap! (or, like, by one mistake)
So, like, because one person messed up and got us all in trouble, we were all pretty much guilty, but then this other awesome person came along and gave everyone this rad gift that makes us all justified and have a chance at a good life. Like, the one person messed up, but the other person made it right, you know?
Just like how one guy’s disobedience made a bunch of people sinners, another guy’s obedience will make a bunch of people righteous.
And then the law came, which made people mess up even more. But guess what? Where there was a ton of messing up, grace showed up even bigger and better:
Just like how sin used to rule and bring about death, grace now reigns through righteousness, leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ, our ultimate homie.

Romans 6

So, like, should we just keep doing shady stuff, banking on grace to cover it?
Nah, man. If we’re dead to sin, how can we keep living like that?
Yo, don’t you know that when we get baptized in Jesus Christ’s name, it’s like we’re diving into his whole vibe of death? It’s a total connection thing, you feel me? We’re riding his wave of death and resurrection.
So, when we get baptized, it’s like we’re getting buried with Jesus, symbolizing his death. And just like how Jesus was raised up by God’s power, we should start fresh, leaving our old ways behind.
If we’ve vibed with his death, we’ll totally vibe with his resurrection too, you know?
Like, for real, get this straight: our old selves got wrecked with him on that cross, wiping out all that sin inside us. From now on, we’re not serving sin, got it?
When you’re dead, you’re done with sin. Simple.
So, if we’re down with Christ’s death, we’re believing we’ll also rock it with him in life.
Quick reminder: Christ rose from the dead and he’s immortal now. Death can’t touch him.
Jesus died once for sin, but now he’s all about God.
Think of yourselves as disconnected from sin but fully plugged into God through Jesus Christ, our main homie and Lord.
Don’t let sin take over your body; don’t just follow your desires.
Don’t let sin use you; let God use you, like you’ve been brought back to life, using your actions for the right stuff.
Sin can’t control you anymore; you’re living in grace, not under rules.
So, just ’cause we’re not rule-bound and all about grace, does that mean we do bad stuff? Heck no.
You become a servant to whoever you choose to serve, whether it’s sin leading to death or righteousness.
But hey, you used to be all about sin, now you’re all about those teachings you’ve embraced.
Once you ditched sin, you started serving righteousness, you know?
Let’s keep it real, being human is tough. You’ve done some shady stuff with your body, one sin leading to another. But it’s time for a change! Use your body for good now.
When you were all about doing wrong, righteousness wasn’t even on your radar.
What did you even gain from that stuff you’re now embarrassed about? ‘Cause let’s be real, it’s a dead end.
But now that sin doesn’t have you chained down and you’re serving God, get ready to bear some holy fruit. And the grand prize? Eternal life, thanks to Jesus Christ, our VIP.
If you keep doing bad stuff, it’s gonna cost you. Death, bro. But hey, God’s got something epic for you. Eternal life, man, all thanks to Jesus Christ, our VI

Romans 7

Listen up, fam! Y’all know the deal with the law, right? It’s like in charge as long as you’re still kicking it, you get me?
Say a woman’s hitched, she’s gotta stick with her man as long as he’s around. But if he’s out, she’s free from the marriage rules.
So, if she’s still married and hops to another dude, she’s labeled an adulteress. But if her man’s out, she’s not breaking any rules by marrying someone else. Drama-free zone, you feel?
So, fam, here’s the scoop: we’re outta the law game, all thanks to what Jesus did. It’s like a marriage, but we’re hitched to someone who came back from the dead! And the aim here? To produce some epic fruit for God.
Back when we were stuck in our old ways, our rule-driven desires led us to do some sinful stuff, causing major havoc.
But now? We’re free from those old rules. Time to live with a fresh mindset, led by our spirit, not the old rulebook.
You might be thinking, “Is the law, like, totally lame?” Nah, dude. It’s actually pretty helpful in spotting sin. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know what coveting was without the law being like, ‘Yo, don’t crave stuff, fam.’ And ‘coveting’ means wanting stuff really bad in a not-so-cool way, just so you know.
But sin saw the commandment as an opportunity, stirring up all kinds of intense desires in me. ‘Cause, you know, without the law, sin was just chilling.
Then the rules came, and sin got a major revival, and I totally bit the dust.
Turns out, this rule meant to guide to a good life ended up causing trouble.
Sin used the commandment as a chance to mess me up big time.
The law’s totally holy, and the commandment is super legit, fair, and good, you know?
So, did the good stuff bring death? Nah, man. But sin wanted to flex its sinful side, so it caused death with the help of the good stuff. Making sin even more sinful because of the commandment.
By the way, fam, we know the law’s all spiritual and righteous and stuff. But honestly, I’m just a regular guy, prone to sin and everything. Feels like I’m ‘sold’ to sin, you know?
Gotta admit, I’m not always down with what I end up doing. There are things I wanna do, but never do. Instead, I do stuff I totally hate. You get me?
So, if I end up doing what I don’t want to, it means I agree the law’s actually good.
Okay, so it’s not really me doing it anymore, it’s the sin chilling inside me.
For real, inside me (like, in my physical self), there’s nothing good happening. I wanna do good, got the intention and all, but can’t figure out how to make it happen.
I wanna do good, but end up doing the opposite sometimes.
So, sometimes when I do stuff I know I shouldn’t, it’s not really me doing it, it’s this thing called sin inside me, you know?
Found this out the hard way: When I try to be good, evil pops up outta nowhere, you know?
Deep down, I’m all about God’s law:
But there’s this constant battle inside, you know? Always torn between what’s right and what I end up doing. Exhausting, feeling trapped by this sinful nature always messing with me.
Man, I’m a mess! Who’s gonna save me from this endless struggle? Seriously, need major help to break free from this mess.
Thank God, ’cause of Jesus Christ our Lord. So, in my mind, I’m all about following God’s law, but sometimes my body slips up and gives in to sin.

Romans 8

So, like, if you’re all about Jesus and not living a trashy life, you won’t be judged or anything. It’s all about staying in the zone of good vibes and embracing the Spirit, ya know?
Like, yo, the power of the Holy Spirit in Jesus Christ has totally set me free from the whole rule of sin and death, you know?
So, like, the law couldn’t really fix things ’cause it was weak due to our human nature. But God was like, ‘Nah, I got this,’ and sent His own Son in the form of a human, even though humans have flaws and stuff. And through this sacrifice, He totally condemned sin in our human nature and sorted things out. #gamechanger
So that we can follow the law in the right way, not by doing what our selfish desires tell us to do, but by living in tune with our true selves.
Those who are obsessed with worldly desires focus on worldly things, but those who are tuned in to the Spirit prioritize spiritual matters.
Being all about earthly desires leads to destruction, while being focused on a spiritual path leads to true existence and inner peace.
Like, dude, the mind that’s all about pleasing yourself is, like, totally at odds with God, you know? It’s, like, totally not into following God’s laws and, like, it can’t even do it, man. #fleshythoughts
So, like, those who are all about satisfying their worldly desires can’t really make God happy, you know?
But you’re not all about the physical stuff, you’re more focused on the spiritual vibes. That’s if you’ve got God’s Spirit hanging out in you, ya know? Here’s the deal though, if anyone doesn’t have Christ’s Spirit, they’re not really part of His squad.
If you’ve got Christ vibes in you, your human shell is toast ’cause sin, but your spirit is lit AF thanks to righteousness.
But if the Spirit of the one who brought Jesus back to life lives inside you, the same Spirit will also give life to your bodies that will eventually perish, all because of the Spirit’s presence within you.
So, my fam, we owe nothing to our basic desires. We shouldn’t be all about indulging in them.
If you keep living according to your basic desires, you’re gonna be toast. But if you let your inner spirit take control and put those harmful actions to rest, you’ll thrive.
Those who follow the Spirit of God are like squad members, they are part of God’s fam.
Because you’re not out here living in fear or feeling trapped anymore. No, you’ve got that adoption vibe going on. Now we can just scream out ‘Abba, Father’ with so much love and closeness.
The Spirit totally backs us up, confirming that we’re totally God’s squad:
And like, if we’re, like, God’s children, then we’re, like, totally heirs, you know? Heirs of God, and, like, bonus, we’re joint-heirs with Christ! But, like, here’s the thing, if we, like, go through suffering with Him, then, you know, we’ll be so glorified together and stuff.
Cause I think that the struggles we go through right now, like seriously, they ain’t even worth comparing to the epic awesomeness that’s gonna be unleashed within us.
The whole world is eagerly waiting for the day when the true power of God’s children will be revealed.
You know, everything in this world came under the influence of emptiness and meaninglessness, not by choice, but because of the one who caused it to happen, hoping for something better.
Like, the whole creation is gonna be set free from like, all the messed up stuff and have this totally awesome freedom like the children of God, you know?
We all know that everything around us is going through a lot of struggle and pain right now. It’s like the whole world is groaning and laboring together.
And not just them, but us too – who have the Spirit vibes poppin’ – we also be feeling the struggle deep within. We’re eagerly waiting to vibe with the adoption gang, when our bodies get that sweet redemption.
Like, we’re totally saved by hope, you know? But, like, if you can actually see what you’re hoping for, it’s not really hope, right? ‘Cause, like, if dudes can already see it, why would they still be hoping for it?
But, like, if we’re hoping for something we can’t see, then we just gotta be patient and wait for it, you know?
And just like, the Spirit is totally there for us when we’re feeling weak. ‘Cause, ya know, sometimes we’re not exactly sure what we should be praying for, but the Spirit, like, totally steps up and speaks up for us with these deep feelings that we can’t even put into words.
And the one who knows what’s really going on inside you also knows what the Spirit is thinking, because the Spirit talks to God on behalf of the good people, just like God wants. (I mean, pretty awesome, right?!)
And, like, we totally know that everything, like, totally comes together for the best for those who, you know, love God and are like, totally meant to fulfill His purpose and all.
God knew beforehand who he wanted to be part of his squad and he already had a plan to make them just like his Son, so that his Son can be the ultimate big bro among all his homies.
And those he chose in advance, he also reached out to; and those he reached out to, he also made right; and those he made right, he also made worthy of honor.
So like, what should we even say about all this? If God’s got our back, who’s gonna be able to mess with us?
Yo, listen up! The big man upstairs didn’t even hold back his own son, but straight up sacrificed him for all of us. Like, if he can do that, don’t you think he’s gonna hook us up with everything we need? No doubt, fam!
Who gonna come at God’s chosen ones? Like, bruh, it’s God who’s righteous and all, straight up.
Like, who has the power to judge us, you know? It’s totally Jesus, man! He died for us and then came back to life. And get this, He’s chilling up there by God’s side, making pleas on our behalf. That’s some serious intercession game!
Yo, who’s gonna separate us from Christ’s love? Like, is it gonna be tough times, or feeling down, or straight up getting hated on, or no food, or being totally broke, or being in danger, or even violence?
Like, as it says in the book, we’re getting destroyed all day long for your sake; people see us as defenseless sheep just waiting to be attacked.
Seriously, in every single thing we totally slay because of the one who’s madly in love with us.
I truly believe that nothing, not even death or life, angels or rulers, can stop me, present issues or future challenges won’t hold me back,
Like, there’s nothing, no obstacles or anything, that can ever like, break the bond between us and God’s ultimate love for us, which is found in Jesus Christ, our Lord. No matter what, we’re totally connected and nothing can mess with that vibe.

Romans 9

Yo, I’m keeping it real in the name of Christ, no lies here. My conscience, backed up by the Holy Ghost, can vouch for me.
My heart feels heavy and sad all the time. It’s like carrying a ton of emotional weight.
Honestly, I’d be willing to give up my connection with Christ if it meant my bros, my fam from the same bloodline, would be cool. Like, I’d separate myself from Him, no cap.
Yo, let me tell you about the Israelites. They got the whole package, you feel me? They got the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the law, serving God, and the promises. It’s like a total VIP deal, fam. *Note: ‘covenants’ can also be called ‘testaments’.
Like, yo, who are the OG fathers? And, like, in terms of the flesh, Christ was totally born, I mean, He’s the boss, like the God who’s all blessed forever. Amen, you know?
It’s not like God’s word doesn’t matter anymore. Just because someone is from Israel, doesn’t mean they are true Israelites.
It’s not all about being descendants of Abraham, but it’s about being called descendants through Isaac.
Like, you know, those who are born naturally, they ain’t really God’s children. But it’s the ones who are part of God’s plan and promise, they’re the real deal.
Listen up, fam! God’s promise is straight fire. He’s like, ‘I’m gonna show up now and bless Sara with a baby boy.’
And it’s not just that, but Rebecca also got pregnant by our dad Isaac.
For, like, the kids who weren’t even born yet, they hadn’t done anything good or bad, you know? God had this whole plan, like, chosen beforehand, based on His own decision, not because of anything they did, but because He called them, you feel me?
They straight up told her, like the older kid’s gonna be serving the younger one.
Like, in the scriptures it says that I totally loved Jacob, but, um, Esau, well, let’s just say I wasn’t vibing with him.
So like, what do we even say then? Is God being unfair? Absolutely not!
Like, God told Moses that He’s gonna show mercy to whoever He wants and have compassion on whoever He wants, you know?
So, like, it’s not about how badly you want it or how fast you chase after it, but it’s all about God’s mercy, you know.
Yo, the Bible says to Pharaoh, like, I brought you into power for a reason – to flex my mad power through you and make sure everyone knows my name, everywhere on earth.
So, like, God does whatever He wants, man. He’s got the power to show mercy to anyone He chooses and, like, He can also make someone’s heart all tough if He wants to, you know?
So, like, you might be thinking, why is he still blaming us? I mean, who can actually go against what he wants, right?
Seriously, bro, who do you think you are to question God? Can something that was made be like, ‘Why did you create me like this?’ Don’t even try to argue with God, man.
Doesn’t the potter have control over the clay, so that from the same pile he can create one awesome masterpiece and another not-so-awesome one?
What if God, like, totally wanted to show his anger and flex his power, so he, like, totally put up with all those people who are super deserving of his wrath for a long time? They’re basically a bunch of losers destined for destruction and obliterating. (like, fitted, you know what I mean?)
And so he could flex his ridiculously awesome glory on the chosen ones, who he had already prepped to shine bright like stars,
Like, even those he chose, not just from the Jewish crew, but also from all the other peeps?
Like, it’s mentioned in this verse from Osee, where it says that God will totally consider them as His people, even though they weren’t considered His people before, and they’ll be super loved by Him, even though they weren’t loved like that before.
And it’s gonna happen, like seriously, in the spot where people straight up said, ‘Nah, you don’t belong to me,’ they’re gonna be called the legit children of the amazing, yeah, the real deal, God.
Esaias is like, hey guys, listen up! He’s talking about Israel and how even though there’s, like, so many of them, they’re as abundant as sand on the seashore, only a small group will be saved, you know?
Yo, He’s gonna wrap things up real quick and on point, all in righteousness. The Lord’s about to do a speedy job on this earth, no doubt about it.
And like Esaias said fam, if the Lord of Sabaoth didn’t hook us up with a surviving seed, we would’ve been straight up Sodoma status, just like Gomorrha.
So, like, what do we say then? That the non-Jewish peeps, who weren’t even trying to be good, have actually achieved goodness, you know, the goodness that comes from having faith.
But Israel, who tried so hard to follow the rules of being righteous, didn’t quite make it to the level of ultimate righteousness.
Why tho? ‘Cause they didn’t believe in it, they were all like, Laww is everything.’ But they tripped over that big ol’ stumblingstone.
Like, it’s written and everything, right? Check it out, in Sion I placed this total stumblingstone and insane rock of offense. And you know what? Anyone who’s down to believe in him won’t even feel awkward or embarrassed or anything. It’s true, dude!

Romans 10

Yo fam, I really want and pray to God that all my homies from Israel get saved.
I gotta say, they’re all about having mad love for God, but they’re lacking in the knowledge department.
So, like, they don’t even know about God’s righteousness, and they’re all about making themselves look righteous. But they haven’t like, accepted God’s righteousness, ya know?
For real, like, Christ is the ultimate deal when it comes to righteousness for anyone who believes, you know?
Moses talks about following the law to be righteous. It means that if you do everything the law says, you’ll thrive through it.
But here’s the thing, the way righteousness comes from faith is like, don’t go thinking in your mind, ‘Oh, who’s gonna climb up to heaven and bring Christ down to us?’
Like, who’s gonna go all the way down, you know, into the deep abyss? I mean, that’s like, bringing Christ back from the dead territory, man.
So, like, what does it say? The word is super close to you, like, in your mouth and in your heart, you know? It’s all about having faith, which we totally talk about all the time!
So, like, if you openly acknowledge with your words that Jesus is your Lord and really trust in your core that God raised him back to life, you’ll totally be saved.
So, like, when you truly believe in your heart, you’ll be in the good books with the big guy upstairs. But it’s not just about thinking it, you gotta speak it out loud too, ’cause that’s when the magic happens and you’ll find salvation.
The writings say, if you believe in him, you won’t feel embarrassed.
Like, there’s literally no distinction between Jews and Greeks, fam. It’s because we all got the same big boss up there, who’s got mad blessings for everyone who reaches out to Him, you know?
Anyone who reaches out to the Lord will be safe and sound, no doubt.
Yo, how can they be like, calling out to someone they don’t even believe in? And how can they believe in someone they never even heard of? And like, how can they hear about it if no one’s out there preaching about it?
And like, how can they preach, yo, unless they’re, like, sent? Just as it’s written, man, how awesome are the feet of those who spread the good news of peace and share cool news about awesome stuff!
But not everyone has followed the gospel. As Esaias says, ‘Bruh, who actually believed what we were saying?’ (Wait, did they even listen to us tho?)
So like, faith comes from hearing, and hearing comes from the word of God, you know?
Yo, check it. I’m just saying, didn’t they hear the message? For real though, it’s like their sound went all over the planet, and their words reached every corner of the world.
But like, yo, did Israel not even realize? Moses straight up said, ‘I’m gonna make you feel jealous when you see how I bless other peeps who aren’t even considered a nation. And I’m gonna tick you off by showing love to a nation that’s kinda foolish.’
Esaias was totally fearless and said, yo, I showed up unexpectedly to those who weren’t even looking for me; I revealed myself to those who didn’t even bother asking about me.
But to Israel, God is like, ‘Yo, I’ve been reaching out to you all day, but you keep being rebellious and arguing with me.’

Romans 11

So, like, wait a sec, did God just like straight up abandon his peeps? No way, dude. ‘Cause I’m an Israelite too, you know, from the fam of Abraham and the tribe of Benjamin.
Dude, God hasn’t ditched the people He knew beforehand. Like, haven’t you heard what the scripture says about Elias? He straight up prays to God, like ‘Yo, Israel needs some help,’ you know? Just saying.
Bruh, these guys straight up went and killed your prophets, destroyed your altars, and now I’m the only one left and they’re out here tryna take me down too. Smh.
Yo, what did God say in response to him? I actually still got 7K homies who haven’t worshipped that Baal figure.
Like, right now, there’s still a bunch of people who are totally chosen by grace and stuff, you know?
And like, if it’s all about God’s grace, then it’s not about doing good things anymore; otherwise, grace wouldn’t really be grace, you know? But if it’s all about doing good things, then it’s not about God’s grace anymore; otherwise, doing good things wouldn’t really be doing good things.
So, like, what’s the deal? Israel didn’t, like, get what they were looking for, but some chosen ones totally got it, and the others were, like, blinded or something… or maybe they were just, like, really stubborn or hardheaded or whatever.
Just like it says in the book, God has made them so tired and unaware, with eyes that can’t see and ears that can’t hear. It’s still like that today.
So David was like, ‘Their table? Big trap. Major stumbling block. Total payback. It’s real.’
Make them totally clueless, so they can’t even see what’s going on, and make them hunch over forever.
Yo, listen up! So, did they completely mess up and fall off track? Absolutely not, fam! In fact, because of their stumble, salvation has come to the non-Jews, you know, the Gentiles, just to shake things up and make ’em jealous.
So, like, if their downfall made the world rich, and their decline made the Gentiles rich, just imagine how much more awesome their comeback will be, ya know? It’s like their return will be way more epic and fulfilling, you feel me?
Yo, fam, I’m here to drop some truth for y’all non-Jews. Just so you know, I hold it down as the main apostle for non-Jewish peeps. Gotta flex on this important role of mine, ya feel?
Maybe by throwing some serious inspiration vibes, I can totally get my peeps who share my DNA to want what I’ve got going on, and possibly help them out along the way.
Like, if getting rid of them is like bringing peace to the whole world, imagine how lit it’ll be when they come back! It’ll be like life springing up from the dead, yo!
Like, if the firstfruit is all legit, then the whole lump is totally legit too, ya know? And if the root is all sacred, then the branches are sacred too, like for real.
Yo, listen up! So, check it, if some of the branches got snapped off, and you, being like a wild olive tree, got grafted into that crew, then you also get to share in the root and all the good stuff from that olive tree. Oh, and by the way, when it says ‘among them’, it really means ‘for them’ too. Just keeping you in the loop!
Don’t flex on the branches, my dude. But if you really gotta flex, just remember, without the root, you ain’t nothing, the root made you, bro.
So like, you might say, ‘Yo, those branches got snapped off so I could totally be grafted in!’
So, like, because they didn’t believe, they got cut off, but you, like, you’re still here because of your faith. Don’t get all cocky and stuff, but, like, stay humble and have some respect, ya know?
Yo, listen up! If God didn’t spare the natural branches, then you better watch out, because He might not spare you either.
Check it out! God’s all about being kind and strict. If some peeps messed up, He got serious on them. But if you stay on His good side, He’s all about being kind to you. But watch out, if you don’t, you’ll end up cut off too.
And, like seriously, if they can just stop being so doubtful, God can totally bring them back into the fold, you know?
Like, if you were, y’know, part of a wild olive tree by default, but then got connected to a good olive tree, totally against the norm, then it’s, like, way more likely that these original branches will be connected back to their own olive tree, right?
Hey fam, I don’t want y’all to be clueless about this secret, because I don’t want you to think you’re all that. Just so you know, Israel is in the dark about some stuff, but only until all the Gentiles have joined the crew. (BTW, blindness can also mean hardness)
And like, all of Israel is gonna be saved, like it’s written and all, that Deliverer is gonna come outta Sion and be all, like, turning away ungodliness from Jacob and stuff:
This is my promise to them, when I erase their mistakes.
When it comes to the good news, they may not be on our side, but when it comes to being chosen, they are loved because of our ancestors.
God’s gifts and calling can’t be taken back, no regrets.
So like, in the past you all were skeptical about God and stuff, but now you’ve scored some serious mercy because of their lack of belief. (Or you could say, they didn’t really follow through)
Just like how these people have also not believed, so that through your kindness they can also experience mercy.
God has like, gathered everyone up in this state of not believing, so that He can show mercy on all of us. Like, He’s got our back and wants to help us out.
Wow, just when you thought you knew everything, God’s wisdom and knowledge come out of nowhere and blow your mind! His judgments are like total mysteries that you can never figure out, and his ways are so next level, no one can even handle them!
Like, who can really understand what the Lord is thinking? Or, you know, can anyone claim to be his personal advisor?
Like, who was the OG to give to God? And now karma’s gonna pay them back and stuff?
Yo, everything comes from Him, happens through Him, and exists for Him. Give Him mad props forever. Amen, fam.

Romans 12

Yo, fam, listen up! I urge you, my squad, based on all the awesome things God has done for us, to offer your bodies as a lit sacrifice. Like, be pure and pleasing to God, which is just, like, the reasonable thing to do, you know?
Don’t just go with the flow and act like everyone else. Instead, change your mindset and let your thoughts be renewed. This way, you can find out what’s truly good, acceptable, and perfect according to God’s will.
Alrighty, listen up, y’all! God has blessed me with some real grace, so I gotta drop some truth on each and every one of you. Don’t go around thinking you’re better than you actually are – that’s a big no-no. Instead, keep it real and humble, knowing that God has given each person a unique level of faith. Stay grounded and stay focused, fam!
Yo, like, we all part of one team, and each of us got our own unique roles, ya know?
So, like, all of us, there are many, ya know, but we’re all part of this one crew in Christ, and we’re all like, connected and stuff, like members of the same squad.
So, like, we’ve all got different gifts, right? And, like, if you’ve got the gift of prophecy, then go ahead and prophesy, but make sure it’s in line with your faith.
For those of us who serve others, let’s be patient and dedicated in our service. And for those who teach, let’s be devoted and passionate in sharing knowledge.
If you’re good at giving advice, do it in a motivational way. If you’re generous, don’t make a big deal out of it, just keep it simple. If you’re in charge, take your role seriously and put in the effort. And if you’re showing kindness to others, do it with a cheerful heart.
Keep love real, no fake vibes. Straight up hate the evil stuff, stick to the good vibes.
Treat each other with mad love like a fam, giving props and showing respect; putting others above yourself; showing love for the squad
Don’t be lazy when it comes to work; be passionate about what you do; serve the Lord with enthusiasm;
Celebrating the good vibes, staying chill through tough times, and keeping the prayers going strong without giving up;
Helping out fellow believers in need and being welcoming to others.
Show love to those who give you a hard time: send positive vibes and don’t send any negativity their way.
Show love and support when your friends are happy, and empathize with them when they’re feeling sad.
Y’all should be chill with each other and on the same wavelength. Don’t be all caught up in materialistic stuff, but instead show respect to everyone, no matter their status. And don’t act like you’re the smartest person ever. Remember to stay humble, ya know?
Don’t play the revenge game, fam. Keep it real and do what’s right in the eyes of everyone.
If you can, try to live in peace with everyone as much as you can.
Yo fam, don’t seek revenge on your own, but instead make room for divine justice. It’s written, ‘I got this, vengeance is my gig. I’ll handle it,’ says the Lord.
So, like, if your enemy is hungry, hook them up with some food; if they’re thirsty, pass them a drink: ’cause, ya know, by doing that you’ll be piling up hot coals on their head.
Don’t let evil get the upper hand, but crush it with kindness.

Romans 13

Yo, show some respect to those in charge, fam. ‘Cause, like, only God’s got the real power, you know what I’m saying? Those leaders are there ’cause God’s put ’em there.
If you straight up rebel against authority, you’re basically dissing what God wants, and trust me, that’s like inviting bad vibes into your life, man.
Hey, listen up! Leaders ain’t out to stress you if you’re keeping it real. So why stress about their power? Just be a decent human and earn some mad respect, bro!
This dude? He’s like God’s rep sent to do some good in your hood. But if you’re out there doing sketchy stuff, watch out, ’cause he’s not messing around. He’s God’s guy, bringing down karma on those doing evil.
Obeying ain’t just about dodging trouble, it’s about doing what’s right deep down, you feel me?
You gotta cough up those taxes and all. ‘Cause, like, those peeps collecting cash are basically on God’s mission, hustling hard for real.
Pay up what you owe: taxes, dues, respect for those who’ve earned it, and props to those who deserve it.
Don’t owe nobody nothing, just spread love, ’cause love conquers all laws, fam.
No cheating, no killing, no stealing, no lying, no hating on other people’s stuff. And yo, treat others how you wanna be treated, straight up.
Love ain’t about hurting your crew, so it’s like the ultimate rule-following move, you know?
And yo, wake up! It’s time to clock in ’cause our salvation’s closer than we thought, yo.
The night’s almost over, dawn’s coming: so let’s ditch the negativity and vibe with some positive energy.
Keep it real, ditch the parties and drama, no sneaky business, no unnecessary beef.
Instead, vibe with Jesus Christ and leave those worldly desires in the dust, fam.

Romans 14

Yo, if someone’s faith game ain’t strong, show ’em some love, but don’t get all caught up in pointless arguments. (Don’t be judgin’ their uncertain thoughts, ya feel?)
Some people think they can eat anything, while others, who are more sensitive, stick to a plant-based diet.
Don’t hate on someone for what they munch on, and don’t judge someone who chooses not to chow down on the same things as you. God accepts each of us, regardless of our grub choices.
Like, who are you to judge someone else’s servant? It’s up to their own master to decide if they succeed or fail. Yeah, they’ll totally be supported because God has the power to keep them standing strong.
Some people think one day is more lit than others, while others think every day is equally important. Everyone should be confident in their own beliefs.
If someone pays attention to a specific day, they do it as an offering to the Lord. But if someone doesn’t pay attention to a specific day, it’s also to the Lord that they don’t pay attention. When someone eats, they do it as an act of gratitude towards God. And if someone doesn’t eat, it’s also to the Lord that they don’t eat, and they give thanks to God.
None of us live just for ourselves, and no one dies alone.
So, like, whether we’re alive or chilling in the afterlife, we’re all about the Lord, you know? Whether we’re living it up or moving on, we totally belong to the Lord.
So basically, Jesus died and then came back to life, all so that he could be in charge of both the people who’ve passed away and those who are still alive.
But like, why are you judging your bro? Or why are you not giving a heck about your bro? ‘Cause, like, we’re all gonna have to face the judgment seat of Christ, fam.
Yo, listen up, God’s got something to say. Just so you all know, as long as I’m alive, every single person out there is gonna have to bow down to me and admit that God’s the real deal.
So, like, every single one of us is gonna have to, like, answer to God, you know?
So, like, let’s ditch the whole judging thing, ‘kay? Instead, let’s focus on making sure we don’t trip up our bros with our actions or give them any reason to stumble.
I totally get it and I’m convinced by the Lord Jesus that nothing is inherently dirty. But if someone thinks something is dirty, then it’s dirty to them. #respect
But if your homie is bummed out about what you eat, you ain’t really showing much love. Don’t mess up their vibe with your food, ’cause Christ died for them too. (according to love)
So, like, don’t let people hate on your good vibes, okay?
Bro, God’s kingdom ain’t about stuffing your face or chugging drinks; it’s all about being right with Him, finding that inner peace, and embracing the pure joy the Holy Spirit brings.
Like, if you’re all about serving Christ and stuff, then God totally approves of you and people think you’re legit.
So, like, let’s all go for the stuff that brings peace and helps each other grow, ya know?
Don’t mess up God’s creation by eating meat. Everything is actually okay to eat, but it’s bad for someone who eats it knowing it’s wrong.
It’s best to avoid eating meat or drinking alcohol if it causes your bro to trip up, get offended, or feel weak.
You got faith? Keep it between you and God, man. The real deal is not feeling guilty about what you’re cool with.
If you’re not sure about something and you still go for it, you’re in a tough spot if it turns out wrong. Because when you do things without belief, it’s considered a sin. Doubting here means thinking and being picky about what you should and shouldn’t consume. Damned means you’re in trouble and could face punishment.

Romans 15

Yo, fam, let’s show some love and support to those who are struggling, not just focusin’ on our own thing.
Let’s be mindful of others and spread those good vibes.
Even Jesus was all about others, man. Like, he took all that heat so we could vibe together.
Everything written before is to give us hope and keep us grounded, you dig?
May the big guy upstairs keep us all chill and united, just like Jesus would want.
Let’s give it up to God, the ultimate dad of Jesus.
Accept each other, just like Jesus accepted us, for the glory of God.
Jesus was all about supporting his peeps and spreading the truth.
So everyone, let’s give a shoutout to God for being so chill.
Yo, Gentiles, let’s party with Jesus’ crew.
Shoutout to the Lord, everyone!
Isaiah says this dude from Jesse’s fam is gonna lead everyone, and we’ll all trust in him.
God’s all about hope, joy, and peace when you believe.
I believe in y’all, fam. Spread that goodness and knowledge.
Just gotta remind y’all, thanks to God’s blessings on me.
Spreading Jesus’ word to non-believers, making sure they’re legit with the Holy Spirit.
All thanks to Jesus, I can flex about God stuff.
Only gonna talk about what Jesus did through me to teach non-believers.
Done some crazy stuff with the Holy Spirit, spreading Jesus’ word everywhere.
Not into stepping on others’ work, ya know?
People who haven’t heard about Jesus will see for themselves.
Had some major setbacks, couldn’t visit y’all sooner.
But now I’m down to visit after all these years.
When I hit up Spain, I’m coming to see you, fam.
Headed to Jerusalem to help out my believers.
Macedonia and Achaia are hooking up the Jerusalem crew with cash.
They’re stoked to help out, ’cause if they’re benefiting spiritually, they should help practically too.
After I’m done here, I’m swinging by your place.
Bringing blessings from Jesus when I see y’all.
Need y’all to pray for me, for real.
Prayin’ to stay safe from haters in Judaea and that my work’s appreciated.
Hope we can link up and vibe together.
Peace out, fam. May God’s chill vibes be with you all. Amen.

Romans 16

Yo, listen up, fam! Gotta give a major shoutout to our sis Phebe, she’s holding it down at the church in Cenchrea, for real.
Let’s welcome her into our squad with open arms, like the saints we are, and make sure she’s got whatever she needs. She’s been looking out for so many, including yours truly.
Big ups to Priscilla and Aquila, they’ve been majorly helping me out in this whole Jesus squad journey:
Mad respect to those who’ve been putting it all on the line for me. Shoutout to them, huge thanks from me and all the churches holding it down for the Gentiles.
Also, gotta give props to the lit church at their crib. What’s good to my homie Epaenetus, the original Christian from Achaia.
Big shoutout to Mary, she’s been putting in that work for us.
Hey, much love to Andronicus and Junia, my fam, and my homies holding it down with me. They’ve been straight-up legends in the apostle game, repping Jesus way before me.
And yo, show some love to my dude Amplias, he’s all about that Jesus vibe just like me.
What’s up, shoutout to Urbane, our homie in Christ, and Stachys, my absolute fave.
Yo, gotta give a shoutout to Apelles, he’s solid in Christ. Big shoutout to the crew rolling with Aristobulus. They’re like fam, you know?
Much love to my homie Herodion. Sending love to the crew of Narcissus who are repping for the Lord. (P.S. When I say fam, I mean close friends too, you feel me?)
Shoutout to Tryphena and Tryphosa, they’re grinding for the Lord. Big up to Persis, the real MVP putting in major work for the Lord.
Shoutout to Rufus, my homie in the Lord, and his awesome mom, who’s like a second mom to me.
Yo, shoutout to Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermas, Patrobas, Hermes, and their squad.
Hey, shoutout to Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sis, Olympas, and all the squad of saints rolling with them!
Greet each other with some good vibes. The churches of Christ send their love.
Listen up, fam! I’m telling you, squad, keep an eye out for those stirring up drama and causing trouble, going against what you’ve been taught. Flex on ’em and stay away from that negativity.
‘Cause those people ain’t about serving our OG Jesus Christ, they’re all about chasing their own desires and using smooth talk to trick the naive and innocent.
Your obedience is known to everyone. I’m hyped about it for you! But I want you to be smart about doing what’s right and chill when it comes to getting into trouble.
And soon, the chill God will crush Satan beneath your kicks. May the good vibes of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.
Hey y’all, just wanna give a shoutout to my homies Timotheus, Lucius, Jason, and Sosipater, my fam. They send their what’s up to all of you!
Yo, it’s Tertius, the author of this letter, just dropping by to say what’s up in the name of the Lord. Holla!
Yo, what’s up Gaius, the chill host and rep of the whole church, sends his greetings. Erastus, the high-profile city official, says what’s up too, and shout out to Quartus, one of the homies.
May the swag of our Lord Jesus Christ be with y’all. Amen.
So, like, this guy has the ultimate power to, like, make you all stable and stuff, following my gospel and all the things Jesus Christ preached, you know? It’s all based on this super mysterious revelation that has been kept secret since the beginning of time, man!
Yo, listen up! This is a big reveal moment. The ancient texts from the prophets, by the order of the OG God, have brought this knowledge to all the nations, so everyone can choose to have faith and obey.
Shoutout to God, the ultimate guru of wisdom. All the props and respect go to Him, thanks to Jesus Christ forever. Amen. This letter was written to the Romans while Phebe, a total rockstar serving at the church in Cenchrea, delivered it.