Nehemiah - Gen Z Bible

Nehemiah 1

So, Nehemiah, Hachaliah’s offspring, was just chilling in Shushan palace, kicking it during the month of Chisleu, when he was like in his twenties, you know?
Then, my dude Hanani rolls up with his crew from Judah. And I was like, “Hey, Hanani, spill the tea on those Jews who bounced back after the whole captivity gig. And yo, what’s the 411 on Jerusalem?”
So, these dudes roll up to me, all like, “Bro, it’s rough out here. Barely anyone left from our capture days, and they’re all going through the wringer. Jerusalem’s a mess, walls trashed, gates burnt to a crisp.”
And I’m like, totally shook. I had to sit down and just let it out, you know? Tears were flowing, grieving hard for days. Even went on a fasting spree, pouring my heart out to the man upstairs.
And I’m just, like, on my knees, begging You, God of heaven, the Almighty, who’s always true to His word and merciful to those who dig Him and stick to His rules:
Yo, God, check it! Tune in to my prayer, open those divine ears of Yours. Been lifting up the children of Israel, Your ride-or-die crew, day and night. And now, I gotta come clean about the wrongs of the children of Israel, me and my fam included. Yeah, we messed up too.
We’ve totally dropped the ball, majorly letting You down. Didn’t stick to the playbook You handed down to Your servant Moses.
Check it, God. Remember what You laid out for Moses? You were like, “If you blow it, I’m spreading you out all over, mixing you in with other nations.”
But if you’re down to bounce back to me, stick to my game plan, and actually stick to it; even if some of you end up in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, I’ll still reel you in and plant you right where I want my name to shine.
These are Your crew, Your fam, the ones You’ve shown up for with Your epic power and crazy strength.
Yo, God, peep this! I come at You with mad respect, asking You to lock in on the prayer of Your servant and everyone repping Your name. Bless me today, show me love in front of this VIP. Oh, and just a heads up, I used to hold it down as the king’s cupbearer.

Nehemiah 2

So, in the month of Nisan, when King Artaxerxes was hitting his twentieth year on the throne, he had his wine on deck. And there I was, right by him, serving up the drinks. Just so you know, I wasn’t feeling bummed or anything before this.
Then the king hits me with, “Why the long face? You ain’t even sick or anything.” But, like, my heart was heavy, you know? And man, I was shook when he asked.
So I hit the king with, like, “May the king live forever,” you feel me? But how can I not be down when the city where my ancestors rest is straight up wrecked, with the gates burnt to a crisp?
Then the king throws at me, “What’s on your mind?” And I’m like, “I’m gonna talk to the Big Guy upstairs, God.”
So I’m all, “Hey king, if it’s chill with you and I’ve earned some creds, can you, like, hook me up with a trip to Judah? You know, to spruce up my ancestors’ resting place.”
The king, with his queen beside him, hits me with, “How long you gonna be gone, and when you coming back?” He’s cool with sending me, so I lay out a solid plan.
And I’m like, “Yo king, if it’s cool, can you slide me some letters to the governors across the river? So they can help me out getting to Judah?”
So, I hit up Asaph, who’s running the king’s forest, dropping a line for some wood to fix up the palace gates, the city wall, and my crib. And you know what? The king gives it the green light, all ’cause my God’s got my back!
I slid over to the governors across the river, dishing out those official letters straight from the king. The king, total power player, had sent some elite army captains and horseback riders to back me up.
When Sanballat, that Horon dude, and Tobiah, the Ammon servant, caught wind of it, they were totally bummed out that someone actually gave a darn about the Israelite crew’s welfare.
I dipped into Jerusalem and chilled there for three days, you feel me?
Then, in the dead of night, me and a couple of my crew bounced. I kept it low-key about what my God had put on my heart to do in Jerusalem. Oh, and FYI, I was only rolling with my ride-or-die beast, no other animals or anything.
So, I dipped out under the cover of night, sliding through the chill gate of the valley, near the dragon well, to scope out the walls of Jerusalem. Bro, they were wrecked, and the gates were straight up burnt.
Then, I rolled over to the gate of the fountain and the king’s pool, but, like, there was zero space for my ride to squeeze through.
So, I was just taking a chill late-night walk by the brook, scoping out the wall. After a bit, I turned around and cruised through the valley gate to bounce back.
And none of the big shots had a clue where I dipped off to or what I was up to. I hadn’t even spilled to the Jews, the priests, the bigwigs, the rulers, or anyone else in on the project yet.
So, I laid it out for them, like, “Yo, peep the scene. Jerusalem’s a wreck, gates torched and all. Let’s team up and fix this wall, so we stop getting looked down on.”
So, I’m all like, “Yo, check it! God’s been blessing me big time, you feel me? He’s had my back, and I’m feeling so blessed. Plus, I dropped the king’s words on them, and guess what? My crew was like, ‘Let’s do this!’ We gotta step up and build, no question. So, they all came together, hyped up and ready to do some epic work.”
So, like, when Sanballat, this Horonite dude, and Tobiah, the Ammonite servant, and Geshem, the Arabian, caught wind of what we were up to, they straight up roasted us, like throwing shade left and right, and they were all like, “Yo, what’s the deal with this project you’re working on? You trying to start some rebellion against the king or what?”
I hit them back with some truth, like, “Listen up, fam. The Most High, up there in the heavens, He’s got our backs, and we, His loyal crew, are gonna build. But y’all? Nah, you got no say, no authority, and definitely no place in Jerusalem’s history books.”

Nehemiah 3

Eliashib, the head honcho priest, gathered his squad of priests to start building the sheep gate. They went all out, sanctified it and set up the doors, all the way to the towers of Meah and Hananeel.
Then, the crew from Jericho rolled in, joining the construction party. And right beside them, Zaccur, Imri’s kid, also got in on the action. #Teamwork vibes all around! 🛠️🙌
Check it, the fish gate got a major upgrade thanks to the crew repping the sons of Hassenaah. They brought their A-game in carpentry, hooking it up with dope beams, doors, locks, and bars for that entrance.
After that, Meremoth, son of Urijah, and grandson of Koz, took charge of some repairs. Then Meshullam, son of Berechiah, and great-grandson of Meshezabeel, jumped in to lend a hand. And not to be left out, Zadok, son of Baana, got in on the repair action too. They were all about that restoration life! 🛠️🔥
The Tekoites got to work on their part of the wall, but their high-flyers were MIA when it came to the Lord’s work.
Meanwhile, Jehoiada, son of Paseah, and Meshullam, son of Besodeiah, were on duty at the old gate. They hooked it up with new beams, fresh doors, and made sure the locks and bars were solid.
Melatiah, repping Gibeon, and Jadon, straight outta Meronoth, both from Gibeon and Mizpah, got busy repairing the wall up to the governor’s spot on our side of the river.
Then Uzziel, son of Harhaiah, a master goldsmith, rolled up his sleeves and got to work. Hananiah, whose pops ran the local apothecary, also threw in with him, and together they beefed up Jerusalem’s defenses all the way to the main wall.
Rephaiah, son of Hur, holding it down for half of Jerusalem, jumped in to lend a hand with the repairs.
Jedaiah, son of Harumaph, got his own crib sorted nearby, fixing it up real nice. And right beside him, Hattush, son of Hashabniah, was also on that repair grind.
Malchijah, Harim’s kid, and Hashub, Pahath-moab’s offspring, handled the rest of the area, even the tower with the furnaces. (Just a heads-up, “Other piece” means the second part.)
Then Shallum, Halohesh’s son, and his daughters, who were absolute boss babes, took the lead and sorted out the other half of Jerusalem like it was NBD (no big deal).
Hanun and the Zanoah crew were on point with fixing up the valley gate. They went all out, building it up, setting up those doors, locks, and bars. Plus, they even added a sweet one-thousand cubits of wall all the way to the dung gate.
Meanwhile, Malchiah, Rechab’s son and bigwig in Beth-haccerem, took charge of revamping the dung gate. He went all in, rebuilding it from scratch, adding new doors, locks, and bars. Talk about dedication, dude! 🙌
Shallun, Colhozeh’s kid holding it down in Mizpah, leveled up the gate of the fountain. He went all out, building it up, adding a protective cover, and hooking it up with those doors, locks, and bars. Plus, he didn’t stop there—he also put in work on the wall of the pool of Siloah, near the king’s garden, all the way to the stairs leading down from the city of David. That’s some serious dedication! 🌊🔒
Nehemiah, Azbuk’s son, holding it down for half of Bethzur, sorted out the area across from David’s tombs, the chill pool, and that epic house.
Then, it was the Levite squad’s turn to shine. Rehum, Bani’s kid, was leading the way, with Hashabiah by his side, ruling over Keilah’s turf. They both rolled up their sleeves and got things fixed up.
Bavai, Henadad’s offspring and the head honcho of half of Keilah, jumped in to help with the repairs, alongside his crew.
And then there’s Ezer, Jeshua’s kid, holding it down in Mizpah. He focused on fixing up the section of the wall near the entrance to the weapons storage.
Baruch, Zabbai’s son (aka Zaccai), went all in on the other section, from where the wall bends to the doorway of Eliashib the high priest’s pad.
Next up, Meremoth, Urijah’s kid and grandson of Koz, took charge of another part, starting from the entrance of Eliashib’s crib all the way to the other end.
The priests and the crew from the flatlands teamed up to keep the repairs going strong.
Benjamin and Hashub handled their own spot, making sure everything was sorted, while Azariah, Maaseiah’s son and Ananiah’s grandson, went all out with some major renovations at his place.
Binnui, Henadad’s kid, stepped up to the plate, tackling another stretch of the wall from Azariah’s pad all the way to the epic corner.
Palal, Uzai’s offspring, was the man in charge of the spot where the wall takes a turn, and that rad tower sticking out from the king’s swanky place, right next to the courtyard where they keep the prisoners. Following him was Pedaiah, Parosh’s descendant.
The Nethinims were posted up in Ophel, right by the water gate on the east side, near that dope tower. They rolled in from Ophel to get it all restored.
Then it was the Tekoites’ time to shine. They handled another part, right by the massive tower, all the way to the Ophel wall.
The priests showcased their repair game above the horse gate, each handling their own spot like pros.
Then it was Zadok, Immer’s son, who got his place sorted. And not forgetting Shemaiah, Shechaniah’s offspring, holding it down at the east gate.
Hananiah, Shelemiah’s kid, and Hanun, Zalaph’s sixth son, rolled up to sort out another section. And then Meshullam, Berechiah’s offspring, handled his own turf.
Next on the scene was Malchiah, a skilled goldsmith’s son, who took charge of the area where the Nethinims and merchants were posted, right across from the Miphkad gate, all the way up to the corner.
The goldsmiths and merchants were straight hustling, fixing things up from one side to the other, all the way from the corner to the sheep gate. They were on a mission, all about that hustle and determination, you know? 🛠️💪

Nehemiah 4

When Sanballat caught wind that we were, like, totally building the wall, he got all mad and seriously salty. Dude started straight up clowning on the Jews.
So he straight up spoke in front of his crew and the Samaria squad, and was like, “Yo, what’s the deal with these weak Jews? They really think they can beef up their defenses? Are they gonna bust out some sacrifices? They seriously think they can finish this in a day? Like, are they gonna resurrect these burnt rocks from the trash piles?” (Fortify…: Basically, leave them alone to do their own thing)
So this dude Tobiah was just chillin’ and he’s all like, “Bro, even if a lil’ fox tries to climb that wall, it’s gonna straight up wreck it.”
Hey God, we’re getting some major hate here, so please take notice: make ’em pay for all the insults they’re throwing our way. Let ’em get caught up in their own trap and feel the sting of being captives in some foreign land.
Don’t let their slip-ups slide, God. Keep their wrongs front and center. They totally disrespected You right in front of the builders, man.
So we went hard on that wall, and we were all connected halfway through ’cause the squad was all about that grind.
But yo, when Sanballat, Tobiah, and the crew from Arabia, Ammon, and Ashdod peeped that the walls of Jerusalem were all fixed up and the damaged parts were getting sorted, they got mad triggered, you know?
So they all teamed up, ready to roll in and throw down against Jerusalem, trying to mess up their whole vibe.
So, we hit up God with some serious prayers and kept our vibe on guard 24/7, all because of those folks.
Check it, Judah was like, the ones hauling the heavy stuff are straight up losing their strength, and there’s tons of trash piling up everywhere. It’s like, we can’t even get this wall going, you know what I’m saying?
Our haters were straight-up scheming, like, “They won’t even peep us coming until we roll in and wreck their vibe, shutting down their progress.”
Then, it went down like this: when the Jews nearby pulled up, they were all, “Bro, come back to us like ten times stronger from wherever you go, ’cause we’re in dire need of your presence.”
I had the crew posted up with their swords, spears, and bows, holding it down both low-key behind the wall and up high, keeping it tight with their fam.
So, I peeped the scene and stepped up, addressing the squad, the bosses, and everyone else, saying, “No need to trip about those haters. Remember, the Lord’s got mad power and strength. Stand tall for your fam, your homies, your sisters, your partners, and your home.”
When our haters caught wind that we were onto them, and God straight-up wrecked their schemes, we just went back to grinding on the wall, chill vibes all around.
After that, half of my squad stayed on the grind, while the other half kept watch with their gear—spears, shields, bows, the whole deal. The leaders had their back, posted up behind everyone in the house of Judah.
The ones hustling on the wall and lugging heavy stuff, plus those loading up, were multitasking like pros. One hand on the job, the other gripped a weapon.
The builders were strapped, swords at the ready, ready to grind. There was even a homie posted next to me, ready to blast the trumpet. (Yeah, that’s straight from the Hebrew!)
So, I’m chilling with all the big shots, the rulers, and everyone, and I’m like, “Bro, this project we’re on is massive, and we’re stretched out on this wall, like, crazy far, man.”
So, peep this, when that trumpet blares, you better roll up, okay? Our God’s got us covered, He’s gonna throw down for us, no cap!
We were putting in work, like, half the crew held it down with spears from crack of dawn ’til the stars came out, you feel me?
I was like, “Listen up, y’all. Keep everyone and their squad posted in Jerusalem. That way, they can watch our backs at night and grind during the day.”
So, check it, none of us, not me, my squad, or anyone on my team, switched up our fits, except when it was time to clean up. But even then, we kept our weapons on deck when we went to grab water.

Nehemiah 5

Nehemiah 6

So, the whole crew and their baes, they were just straight-up calling out their own fam, the Jews.
There were these folks who were all like, ‘Yo, we got this massive fam, tons of kids and stuff. We gotta round up some grub to keep us going, you know, keep us alive.’
There were these peeps who were like, “Yo, we had to hustle hard, putting our lands, vineyards, and cribs on the line just to cop some corn, ’cause the food scene was dry and we needed to chow down.”
There were some folks who were like, “Bruh, we had to drop some serious dough to pay off the king’s tribute, and it’s messing big time with our lands and vineyards.”
It’s like, our bodies are legit the same as our bros’, and our kids are just like theirs, you feel? And it’s messed, ’cause we’re making our own sons and daughters work as servants. Some of our girls are already in that spot, and we can’t even do jack about it, ’cause other dudes own our lands and vineyards, for real.
I was totally triggered when I heard them straight-up whining like that.
So, I mulled it over and I straight-up called out those bougie folks and the big shots, saying, ‘Yo, you’re hitting your own fam with interest rates? Not cool.’ And I rallied a massive crew against them.
So, I was straight-up like, ‘Yo, we totally came through and rescued our Jewish squad from getting handed over to those non-believers. And now, you’re gonna sell them off too? Are you for real? Like, are we just gonna let them get auctioned off to us? Ugh!’ And they were just silent ’cause they knew they had zero comeback, you feel?
I was like, bro, what you’re doing ain’t cool. Shouldn’t you be all about honoring our God and not even giving a crap about what our enemies say?
Yo, me and my squad, including my fam and my workers, could easily hit them up for cash and food. But, fam, let’s cut out this shady deal of charging crazy interest rates, you dig?
Yo, can you, like, hook up those peeps with their lands, vineyards, olive yards, and cribs ASAP? Oh, and remember to slide back one percent of the cash, corn, wine, and oil you swiped from them, aight?
And they were all, ‘Yeah, for sure, we’ll hand it over, no cap. We’ll do exactly what you said.’ So I was like, ‘A’ight, you better swear on it.’ Then I got the priests in on it and made ’em promise they’d stick to their word.
Then I straight-up shook my lap and was like, “Yo, may the Big Guy upstairs kick out anyone who doesn’t stick to their word, leaving ’em with nada.” And all the squad was like, “Amen,” giving props to the LORD. And they stayed true to their word.
So, since I got put in charge in Judah, from like, the twentieth year to the thirty-second year of King Artaxerxes, which is, like, twelve solid years, me and my crew haven’t even touched the governor’s high-class grub.
So, those OG governors before me were straight-up draining the people, snatching their grub, sippin’ on their drinks, and pocketing their cash. They even let their servants boss around the people. But not me, nah, I wasn’t about that life ’cause I had mad respect for the Man Upstairs.
Yeah, I was all in on this wall hustle, didn’t even entertain the thought of copping any real estate, and all my homies were right there grinding with me.
And yo, at my table, there were like a hundred and fifty Jewish fam and leaders, plus some righteous peeps from other nations vibin’ with us.
So, every single day, I’m getting this epic spread – a whole ox, six top-notch sheep, and even some poultry. And you won’t even believe it, but every ten days, I’ve got a whole range of premium wine. But, even with all this abundance, I didn’t even touch the governor’s fancy bread. The people were dealing with some heavy, oppressive stuff.
Hey, Big Guy upstairs, can you do me a solid and remember all the good things I’ve done for these peeps?

Nehemiah 7

Yo, when we finally got that wall all built up, doors installed, and sorted out who’s on door duty, singing, and Levite vibes…
I was totally vibing with my homies Hanani and Hananiah, holding it down in Jerusalem, ’cause they were solid, always reppin’ God with mad respect.
I was like, “Listen up, fam, don’t pop those gates open till the sun’s scorching. And when you’re on duty, keep those doors shut tight, bolted up. Also, get some locals to stand watch, each holding it down in their own hood, looking out for their turf.”
So, the city was massive and prime, but the crowd was sparse, and most houses weren’t even up yet. It was like crazy roomy, you feel me?
So, God hooked me up with this idea to round up all the squad – like, the VIPs, the leaders, and just the regular crew – to document our family history. And I came across this epic family tree record, detailing everyone from way back when. And get this, it was all neatly written down.
These are the crew from the province who bounced back after getting captured, taken away by King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, but then made their way back to Jerusalem and Judah, each to their own turf.
These are the squad who rolled deep with Zerubbabel, Jeshua, Nehemiah, Azariah (also known as Seraiah), Raamiah, Nahamani, Mordecai, Bilshan, Mispereth, Bigvai, Nehum, and Baanah. The grand total of the Israelite fam was 42,360.
The Parosh crew, rollin’ in deep with 2.7K members.
Shephatiah’s fam brought the vibe with 372 awesome kids.
Arah squad showed up with a solid 652 peeps.
So, the crew from Pahathmoab, reppin’ Jeshua and Joab’s fam, counted up to 2,818.
Elam brought the energy with a solid 1,254 kids.
Zattu’s squad showed up strong with 845 members in the mix.
Zaccai’s crew came in hot with 760 young warriors.
Binnui’s squad was lit with 648 members, aka Bani, holding it down.
Bebai’s squad brought the vibe with 628 strong. 💯
Azgad’s squad was mega with a massive 2.3K in the mix, you know. 🙌
Adonikam’s crew brought in 667 boys, holding it down.
Bigvai’s squad was on fire with a massive 2,067 members.
Adin’s squad was rockin’ with 655 awesome kids.
Ater’s crew, representing Hezekiah, came through with a solid 98 strong.
Hashum’s crew counted 328 cool kiddos in total.
Bezai’s squad was vibin’ with 324 members, keepin’ it real.
Hariph’s crew was solid, rollin’ with a deep 112 members, also known as Jora.
Gibeon, aka Gibbar, came through with a whopping 95 kids. That’s a whole crew!
The squad from Bethlehem and Netophah held it down with 188 strong.
Anathoth was packed, with exactly 128 dudes reppin’.
Bethazmaveth, also known as Azmaveth, had a crew of 42 dudes.
The fellas from Kirjathjearim, Chephirah, and Beeroth came through strong, counting up to 743. (Kirjathjearim is also known as Kirjatharim)
Ramah and Geba brought the heat with 621 dudes in the mix.
Michmas had about 122 dudes in the mix.
Bethel and Ai brought in a bunch of dudes, totaling around 123.
The guys from the other Nebo counted 52.
The Elam fam showed up big-time with 1,254 people.
Harim’s squad was on fire with 320 members, yo.
Jericho’s crew rolled in deep with 345 kids, man.
Lod, Hadid, and Ono had a massive crew of 721 kids.
Senaah’s squad was massive, 3.9K strong, no cap.
The priests, descendants of Jedaiah from the fam of Jeshua, counted a whopping 973 of ’em.
Yo, the fam of Immer brought in over a thousand and fifty-two peeps, you know.
Bruh, Pashur’s crew had a solid 1,247 kids though.
Harim’s squad was strong with 1,117 members.
The Levites included Jeshua’s crew, Kadmiel’s squad, and the peeps from Hodevah, totaling seventy-four. Hodevah is also known as Hodaviah or Judah, ya know.
The lit singers: Asaph’s crew, a total of 148 of them.
The squad included the descendants of Shallum, Ater, Talmon, Akkub, Hatita, and Shobai, totaling 138.
The Nethinims consisted of the homies of Ziha, Hashupha’s squad, and Tabbaoth’s crew.
The crew from Keros, the squad from Sia, the fam from Padon,
Lebana’s fam, Hagaba’s crew, Shalmai’s squad,
Hanan’s squad, Giddel’s squad, Gahar’s squad,
Reaiah’s squad, Rezin’s fam, Nekoda’s crew,
Gazzam’s squad, Uzza’s crew, Phaseah’s squad,
Besai’s squad, the homies of Meunim, Nephishesim’s crew,
Bakbuk’s squad, Hakupha’s fam, Harhur’s crew,
Bazlith’s squad, Mehida’s crew, Harsha’s squad,
Barkos’s fam, Sisera’s fam, Tamah’s fam,
Neziah’s squad, Hatipha’s squad.
Solomon’s homies came through: Sotai’s squad, Sophereth’s squad, Perida’s squad.
Jaala’s squad, Darkon’s squad, Giddel’s squad.
Shephatiah, Hattil, Pochereth of Zebaim, and Amon (aka Ami) were all doing their thing.
Yo, there were a total of 392 Nethinims and children of Solomon’s servants.
These peeps rolled in from Telmelah, Telharesha, Cherub, Addon, and Immer, but they couldn’t show proof of their family background or if they were Israelite fam.
Delaiah, Tobiah, and Nekoda’s crew totaled 642 members. No cap.
Among the priests were the descendants of Habaiah, Koz, and Barzillai. Interesting tidbit: One of Barzillai the Gileadite’s daughters tied the knot and joined their squad, which explains the name carry-on.
They searched high and low in the family archives but came up empty, so they got the boot from the priesthood, deemed unclean.
The big boss instructed them not to chow down on the ultra-sacred stuff until a priest with the proper gear showed up. (The big boss: or, the governor)
The crew was massive, with a whopping 42,360 peeps in total.
Besides their hired squad, which clocked in at 7,337, they had 245 amazing singers, including both dudes and chicks!
They were rolling with about 736 horses and 245 mules, you know:
They also had around 435 camels and 6,720 donkeys in their crew.
Plus, some of the big shots chipped in. The Leader threw down a grand of gold, fifty slick bowls, and five hundred and thirty priestly threads.
And, you know, some of the big shots threw in, like, a total of twenty thousand drams of gold and two thousand two hundred pounds of silver to back the project, you know?
And everyone else chipped in a total of twenty thousand drams of gold, two thousand pounds of silver, and sixty-seven priestly garments.
So, the priests, the Levites, the gatekeepers, the singers, some of the peeps, the Nethinims, and all of Israel, they were all chillin’ in their cities, you know? And when the seventh month came, the children of Israel were still posted up in their cities, man.

Nehemiah 8

So, all the peeps gathered up at the water gate, like one big crew. They were like, “Yo, Ezra, bust out that book of the law of Moses that the LORD told Israel to roll with.”
So, Ezra, the priest, broke it down for everyone, guys and girls, whoever could actually vibe with what he was saying. This went down on the first day of the seventh month. (And by ‘understand,’ we mean they were actually tuned in and got what he was talking about, you know?)
So, he kicked things off by reading at the bustling street near the water gate from morning till noon, in front of all the dudes, chicks, and those who were tuned in. Everybody was fully locked in on the book of the law, really listening in.
So Ezra, the scribe, stepped up onto this wooden stage they built just for this gig. On his right were Mattithiah, Shema, Anaiah, Urijah, Hilkiah, and Maaseiah, while on his left were Pedaiah, Mishael, Malchiah, Hashum, Hashbadana, Zechariah, and Meshullam. (Oh, and that ‘pulpit’ they’re talking about? It’s like a fancy tower made out of wood!)
So, Ezra was all, ‘Check it, fam!’ and he whipped out the book right in front of everyone. And let me tell ya, he was the real deal up there, so everybody was vibing with him. The moment he popped that book open, everyone straight up stood up in reverence. (Oh, by the way, in Hebrew, ‘sight’ means ‘eyess,’ just FYI.)
Ezra gave major props to the LORD, the absolute legend. And all the people were like, ‘Yeah, for sure! Yeah, for sure!’ while throwing their hands up. They humbly bowed their heads and showed mad respect to the LORD, getting their faces on the ground.
And Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodijah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan, Pelaiah, along with the Levites, were all about breaking down the law for the people, you know? And the people were totally tuned in, dude.
So, they were like all up in this book, you know, the law of God, and they were straight up clear about it. And check this, they didn’t just stop there! They broke down what everything meant, so everyone could actually vibe with what they were reading.
So Nehemiah, who’s like the head honcho, and Ezra the priest who’s a real wordsmith, and the Levites who drop knowledge on everyone, were like, ‘Yo, today is mega sacred to the LORD your God. Don’t be all down or cry.’ But for real, everyone started tearing up when they heard what the law was saying.
And he was like, “Hey, go do your thing, enjoy the blessings, and share with those who are struggling, ’cause today is all holy and lit for our Lord. Don’t let anything bring you down, ’cause the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
The Levites were like, “Hey, chill out, guys. Today’s all sacred and stuff, so don’t stress or get all down.”
And all the people were like, “Let’s feast, vibe, and spread the love!” They were all pumped because they finally understood what was being shared with them.
So, the next day, all the big shots, priests, and Levites gathered before Ezra the scribe. They wanted to really grasp what the law was about and maybe even learn how to break it down for others.
So, they came across this written law that the LORD had given through Moses, which said that during the seventh month festival, the people of Israel were supposed to dwell in these booths. (by: Hebrew, by the hand of)
So, they were instructed to go and spread the message in all their cities, even in Jerusalem, saying, “Get yourselves up to the mountain and gather some olive branches, pine branches, myrtle branches, palm branches, and thick tree branches. We’re gonna use them to construct rad shelters, just like it says in the book.”
So, the people went out, grabbed the goods, and set up their own cozy spots. They built booths on the rooftops of their houses, in their yards, and even in the courtyards of God’s house. They set up booths in Water Gate Street and Ephraim Gate Street.
And all the squad of Israelites who were liberated from captivity set up some rad pop-up tents and kicked it under those tents. This was a total throwback, ’cause the last time they did something like this was way back when Jeshua, son of Nun, was in charge. And I gotta say, everyone was totally pumped about it. It was a major vibe.
Every single day, from start to finish, he was all about diving into the book of God’s law. They went all out for a full week, and on the eighth day, they had a real solemn assembly, just like you’d expect.

Nehemiah 9

Yo, on the 24th of this month, all the Israelite squad gathered up, serious vibes only, fasting, rocking sackcloths, and dust on fleek.
The Israel peeps were like, “Nah, we’re keeping our circle tight,” distancing from outsiders. But they straight up owned their past mistakes and their ancestors’ mess-ups. Real talk, fam. Like, “Yo, we see you outsiders, but we’re all about staying true to our roots and owning our baggage, ya feel?”
So, they rose and started vibing with the book of the LORD their God for, like, a solid chunk of the day. And then, for another good chunk, they straight-up came clean and showed mad respect by worshipping the LORD their God.
Then the Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Kadmiel, Shebaniah, Bunni, Sherebiah, Bani, Chenani—stood tall on the platform and let out some serious shouts to the LORD their God.
So, the Levites—Jeshua, Kadmiel, Bani, Hashabniah, Sherebiah, Hodijah, Shebaniah, and Pethahiah—were all like, “Yo, rise up and give mad props to the LORD your God forever, dude! His name is straight-up above all blessings and praises, you dig?”
Like, OMG, LORD, you’re, like, the ultimate one; you totally crafted the entire cosmos and everything in it, like, the sky, the stars, the earth, just all of it! And, like, you keep everything in check, and, like, even the angels up in heaven bow down to you, dude!
You’re, like, the legit LORD God, who, like, handpicked Abram and, like, led him out of Ur of the Chaldees, and hooked him up with the new name Abraham;
You saw his heart was loyal AF, so you made a deal with him to give the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Jebusites, and Girgashites to him and his fam. And you kept your word ’cause you’re legit like that.
You saw how our ancestors were super stressed in Egypt, and you totally heard their cries when they were by the Red Sea.
And you, like, showed Pharaoh and his crew who’s boss. You hit them with epic signs and miracles, proving they shouldn’t mess with you. That’s how you got your rep, and it’s still legendary to this day.
And you, like, totally split the sea right in front of them, so they could walk through on dry land. And the ones chasing them? They got tossed into the deep sea, like stones into crazy waves.
You basically led them during the day with this epic cloud column, and at night with a lit fire column, showing them the way to go.
So, like, God came down onto Mount Sinai and started talking to everyone from the heavens. He gave them these super righteous judgments, legit laws, awesome statutes, and straight-up commandments. No lies or fakes, just pure truth, you know? #HebrewLawsOfTruth
And you showed them your epic holy sabbath, like, “Yo, listen up! Here are the rules, directions, and laws I’m laying down, delivered by Moses, your homeboy and dedicated servant.”
And you totally hooked them up with some divine bread when they were starving, and you pulled off the miracle of getting water from a rock when they were thirsty. You even promised they’d land that awesome territory you swore to give them. You really came through, no cap!
But for real, they and our ancestors were super proud and stubborn AF, and they straight-up ignored your commands.
They totally ignored your awesome miracles and refused to listen, being so stubborn and rebellious that they even picked a leader to take them back to their old ways. But you, God, always ready to forgive, full of grace and mercy, patient and kind, you never gave up on them. You’re the real MVP, God of second chances.
So, like, they made this lit statue out of melted metal and were like, ‘Yo, this is your God who brought you out of Egypt!’ They did some wild stuff that made everyone super mad.
But you, with all your love and kindness, didn’t ditch them in the wilderness. The cloud that guided them by day and the fire that showed them the way at night never left their side.
You also hooked them up with your awesome spirit to teach them, and you didn’t hold back on feeding them with your manna, making sure they stayed hydrated with water when they were thirsty.
For real, for like forty years, you kept them going in the middle of nowhere, and they didn’t lack anything. Their clothes stayed fresh, and they didn’t even get swollen feet.
And you were, like, totally setting them up with kingdoms and nations, and, like, dividing them into different territories. So they, like, totally took over the land of Sihon, and the land of the king of Heshbon, and the land of Og king of Bashan.
You made their squad blow up like the number of stars in the sky, and you totally hooked them up by bringing them to the promised land, just like you promised their parents. They were about to take over that place and totally dominate it.
So, like, the squad went in and straight-up conquered the land, and you totally brought the people living there, the Canaanites, under their control. You even handed over the Canaanites, their kings, and all the other folks living there, letting the squad call the shots. It was all according to their own game plan, you feel?
Yo, they straight up took over some epic cities and an amazing land, snagged tons of houses filled with all sorts of goodies, had wells and cisterns for days, and owned vineyards, olive groves, and loads of fruit trees. They feasted, got super full, and just reveled in all the amazing blessings!
But, like, they were totally rebellious and didn’t vibe with your rules, straight-up ignored your laws, and even offed your prophets who were trying to bring them back to the right path, which was, like, a major disrespect.
So, you let their enemies mess with them, and when they were in deep trouble and called out to you, you heard them from up above. ‘Cause you’re hella kind, you sent them heroes who saved them from their enemies.
But, like, even after they chilled out for a bit, they went back to their shady ways in front of you, so you were all, ‘Okay, fine,’ and let their enemies take control and stuff. But then, when they finally got their act together and reached out to you, you totally heard them from up in the heavens and saved them, like, countless times ’cause you’re hella merciful and all. It’s like they just couldn’t help themselves and went back to being all sketchy again, you know, like it says in the Hebrew version!
And you dropped them hints, trying to get them back on track with your law, but they were too stuck up and didn’t vibe with your commandments. They straight-up defied your judgments, which are meant to steer them towards living their best life. They brushed off the responsibility, stubbornly acted like they couldn’t care less, and straight-up refused to listen.
But you stuck it out with them for ages and sent warnings through your prophets, speaking by your spirit. But they straight-up ignored it all, so you let other nations come in and take over.
But, for real, because of your mercy and compassion, you didn’t just wipe them out or ditch them; ’cause you’re, like, the most caring and kind God ever.
Yo, God, you’re like, totally awesome, powerful, and kinda intimidating in a rad way. You always come through on your promises and show mad mercy. So, don’t sleep on all the tough stuff we’re dealing with, like, seriously, it’s been a struggle for our leaders, priests, prophets, ancestors, and everyone else since way back. #AssyriaToNow
But yo, you’re straight-up righteous in all the stuff that’s gone down with us; ’cause like, you’ve been doing what’s right, but we’ve been straight-up wicked:
Our leaders, influencers, religious figures, and even our predecessors straight-up dropped the ball on following your laws or tuning in to your instructions and the signs of your teachings that straight-up called out their wrong moves.
‘Cause they didn’t really give you any love during their reign, despite all the sick blessings you hooked them up with. They didn’t even show gratitude for the dope land you laid out for them. And, like, they never bothered to switch up their shady ways.
Yo, peep this, we’re like, straight-up servants today, you feel? I mean, for the land that you hooked our ancestors up with so they could enjoy all those sweet fruits and the good vibes it brings, we’re still working it, dude!
And it’s like, the leaders you put in charge of us, they’re even more in control now, all thanks to the messed-up choices we’ve made. They pretty much have free rein over our lives and our stuff, and it’s a total mess because of it.
So, like, we’re all totally on board with this whole deal, right? We’re gonna make, like, a solid agreement and get it all written down. And our leaders, along with the Levites and priests, are gonna give it their official seal of approval, ya know? #SealedAndDelivered

Nehemiah 10

So, like, the dudes who sealed the deal were Nehemiah, the main man who was the son of Hachaliah, and Zidkijah, you know? Just so you’re in the loop, the sealings were totally legit. Nehemiah was like the governor, if you catch my drift.
Yo, shoutout to Seraiah, Azariah, and Jeremiah,
And to Pashur, Amariah, and Malchijah,
Hey, big ups to Hattush, Shebaniah, and Malluch,
Yo, props to Harim, Meremoth, and Obadiah,
Yo, check it, Daniel, Ginnethon, Baruch,
Meshullam, Abijah, and Mijamin,
Yo, we got Maaziah, Bilgai, and Shemaiah in the house, rockin’ it as the priests.
And for the Levites: Jeshua, aka Azan’s kid, Binnui, reppin’ Henadad’s clique, and Kadmiel;
And rollin’ with them, Shebaniah, Hodijah, Kelita, Pelaiah, Hanan,
Bruh, Reho, and Hashy,
Zaccur, Sherebiah, Shebaniah,
And yo, Hodijah, Bani, Beninu.
The big players in the crew were Parosh, Pahathmoab, Elam, Zatthu, and Bani.
Bunni, Azgad, Bebai,
Adonijah, Bigvai, Adin,
Yo, Ater, Hizkijah, Azzur,
LOL, #Hashum, Bezai,
Hariph, Anathoth, Nebai,
Magpiash, Meshullam, Hezir,
Meshezabeel, Zadok, and Jaddua,
Pelatiah, Hanan, Anaiah,
Hoshea, Hananiah, Hashub,
Hey, what’s up, my peeps, my squad,
Rehum, Hashabnah, Maaseiah,
And Ahijah, Hanan, Anan,
Yo, Malluch, Harim, Baanah in the house.
And the rest of the squad, the priests, the Levites, the gatekeepers, the singers, the helpers, and everyone vibin’ with God’s law, along with their partners, kids, and fam, all of them were knowledgeable and understanding.
They stayed tight with their squad, the VIPs, and made a serious commitment to follow God’s rules, passed down by Moses, God’s right-hand man. They agreed to totally vibe with all of the LORD, our awesome leader’s, commandments, decisions, and laws.
And, like, we shouldn’t be giving our daughters to those outsiders, and, like, not taking their daughters as wives for our sons either, ya know?
And if the crew around us tries to hustle on the Sabbath, we shouldn’t be copping their goods on that day, or any other holy day, for real. Also, let’s vibe with taking a break on the seventh year and forgiving everyone’s debts. No more chasing paper, you feel me?
So, we decided to lay down some guidelines for ourselves, you know, like, every year we’d chip in a third of a shekel to back up the work going down in our God’s house.
For the bomb bread, the endless snacks, and the constant BBQs, for the chill weekends, the epic parties, the sacred rituals, and for patching up our screw-ups and setting things straight for Israel, and for all the hustle happening in God’s spot.
So, we threw down some dice among the priests, the Levites, and the crew to figure out who’s lugging the wood offering to our God’s spot. Just like our OGs did every year, on the dot. Gotta blaze it up on the LORD our God’s altar, you feel? It’s all etched in the law and whatnot!
And like, every year we gotta bring the first crops and all the fruits from our trees to the Lord’s place, you know?
We gotta offer up the firstborns of our kids and our animals, just like it says in the law. And don’t forget about the firstborns of our herds and flocks too. We’re supposed to bring ’em to the crib of our God, to the priests who handle their business in the crib of our God.
So, like, we gotta make sure to hook up the priests with the primo bread, offerings, fruits, wine, and oil. They kick it at the priests’ pad in our crib, you know? And we should also give a tenth of our crops to the Levites, so they can get their cut in all the cities we farm in.
So, like, the priest who’s Aaron’s son gotta be hanging with the Levites when they collect tithes. And then the Levites gotta bring, like, a portion of those tithes to the house of our God, you know, to the rad chambers where we stash all the treasure.
So, like, the fam from Israel and the Levites gotta bring their offerings of corn, new wine, and oil to the chambers where all the fancy stuff for worship is kept. And it’s not just the priests, but also the people holding it down at the door and the singers too. We’re all in this together and we won’t forget about our place of worship, man!

Nehemiah 11

So, like, the VIPs of the people were posted up in Jerusalem: and the rest of the crew were like, let’s draw straws to see who gets to live in Jerusalem, the super sacred city, you know? And like, one out of every ten got to live there, while the other nine parts got to live in different cities.
And the people gave major respect to all the dudes who were down to chill in Jerusalem.
So, check it out: these are the main players who lived in Jerusalem. But in the cities of Judah, everyone just held it down in their own spot. We’re talking about Israel, the priests, the Levites, the Nethinims, and the crew who came from Solomon’s servants.
So, in Jerusalem, there were some homies from the tribes of Judah and Benjamin. From Judah, there was Athaiah, the son of Uzziah, the son of Zechariah, the son of Amariah, the son of Shephatiah, the son of Mahalaleel, from the tribe of Perez (also known as Pharez).
Yo, check it, there’s this dude named Maaseiah, cool cat, you know? His pops, Baruch, came from Colhozeh, and so on, like a family tree vibe: Hazaiah, Adaiah, Joiarib, Zechariah, and finally, Shiloni.
Now, in Jerusalem, we got 468 awesome peeps repping the Perez crew, keeping it real in the city.
Alright, peep this, from the tribe of Benjamin, we got Sallu, son of Meshullam, down the line from Joed, Pedaiah, Kolaiah, Maaseiah, Ithiel, and Jesaiah.
And then you got Gabbai and Sallai, bringing the squad count to a solid nine hundred twenty-eight. Respect!
Yo, peeps, listen up! Joel, Zichri’s offspring, was holding it down in charge, you feel me? And Judah, Senuah’s kid, was like his right-hand homie, second in command, keeping it real in the city.
Now, check out the priest squad: Jedaiah, son of Joiarib, and Jachin, straight-up holding it down with their sacred duties. Respect to the hustle, fam!
Alright, listen up, fam! Seraiah, Hilkiah’s descendant, coming from Meshullam, Zadok, Meraioth, and Ahitub, straight-up owned it as the head honcho of God’s house.
And check this, there were about 822 other homies putting in work in the crib, you feel me? Among them was Adaiah, son of Jeroham, whose lineage runs deep: Pelaliah, Amzi, Zechariah, Pashur, and Malchiah. They were all about that hustle for the divine cause, respect!
Yo, check it out, fam! Seraiah’s crew was solid, like 242 peeps in total. Among them was Amashai, son of Azareel, tracing back to Ahasai, Meshillemoth, and Immer. They were the real deal, keeping it righteous and tight. Respect!
Check it, fam! These warriors were fierce, like 128 of them, led by Zabdiel, whose pops was one of the OGs, a true legend.
And there were even more Levites in the mix, like Shemaiah, the dope offspring of Hashub. His lineage? Pure legendary status: Azrikam, Hashabiah, and Bunni, all straight-up legends. Respect to the heritage!
Shabbethai and Jozabad were like the Levite MVPs, handling all the day-to-day vibes at God’s spot. They kept the outside game strong, you know? #Blessed
Now, Mattaniah, son of Micha, grandson of Zabdi, and great-grandson of Asaph, was the master of leading the gratitude sessions. Bakbukiah had his back in second place, part of the same crew. Abda, son of Shammua, grandson of Galal, and great-grandson of Jeduthun, was also on the squad. They were all about that grateful life. Respect!
In the sacred city, there were like 284 Levites holding it down.
And yo, there were about 172 chill dudes on gate duty – Akkub, Talmon, and their crew. They were the ones keeping things tight at the gates, you know? Mad respect for their hustle!
Yo, check it out, fam! The rest of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, they were all spread out in different cities of Judah, each in their own turf, keeping it real.
But peep this, the Nethinims crew posted up in Ophel, with Ziha and Gispa holding it down as the leaders. Ophel was like the boss tower, you feel me? Mad respect for their vibe!
Uzzi, straight from the Bani fam, held it down for the Levites in Jerusalem. And check it, the singers, they were all repping the Asaph crew, keeping the house of God vibe in check.
Now, peep this, the king laid down the law: the singers, they gotta get their fair share every single day, no questions asked. It was like, set in stone, you know? Mad respect for keeping the harmony alive!
Listen up, fam! Pethahiah, son of Meshezabeel, straight outta the Zerah crew, which is basically Judah’s lineage, was like the king’s main dude for dealing with all the people’s business. (Zerah, also known as Zarah)
And yo, there were some peeps from the tribe of Judah posted up in Kirjatharba and the nearby spots, as well as in Dibon and its hood, and also in Jekabzeel and its setup. Just holding it down, you know? Mad respect for their hustle!
And don’t forget Jeshua, Moladah, and Bethphelet,
Plus Hazarshual, Beersheba, and all the chill spots nearby,
And Ziklag, Mekonah, and the hood around,
Enrimmon, Zareah, and Jarmuth, they’re all in the mix, holding it down.
They set up shop in Zanoah, Adullam, and the smaller spots, kicking back in Lachish and its fields, and vibing in Azekah with their crew. From Beersheba all the way to the Hinnom Valley, they were living their lives, keeping it righteous.
The Benjamin squad in Geba were chilling hard in Michmash, Aija, Bethel, and all their spots, spreading the good vibes from there and beyond.
And don’t forget Anathoth, Nob, Ananiah,
Hazor, Ramah, Gittaim, bruh, they were holding it down too, keeping it righteous.
Bruh, check it out, we got Hadid, Zeboim, and Neballat holding it down,
Lod and Ono, where the skilled peeps were at, no doubt.
And yo, there were these epic Levite crews repping in both Judah and Benjamin, you know? Keeping it holy all the way.

Nehemiah 12

Alright, squad, listen up! Here’s the rundown on the priests and Levites who rolled with Zerubbabel, son of Shealtiel, and Jeshua. We got Seraiah, Jeremiah, Ezra — you know, the OG crew.
And then we got Amariah, Malluch, Hattush, and Malluch, AKA Melicu, doubling down on the divine vibes. 🙏
Check it, fam! Shechaniah, also known as Shebaniah, Rehum, AKA Harim, and Meremoth, AKA Meraioth, stepping up in the game.
Then we got Iddo, Ginnetho, Abijah, also known as Ginnethon, holding it down.
And don’t sleep on Miamin, Maadiah, Bilgah, with Miamin, aka Miniamin, and Maadiah, aka Moadiah, rounding out the crew. 🙌
Yo, check it out, fam! Shemaiah, Joiarib, and Jedaiah holding it down!
Sallu, Amok, Hilkiah, and Jedaiah, straight-up top priests with their squad back in the days of Jeshua. Sallu, also known as Sallai, bringing that extra.
And don’t forget about the Levites: Jeshua, Binnui, Kadmiel, Sherebiah, Judah, and Mattaniah, leading the gratitude jams with their Levite crew. 🎶🙏
Ayo, peep this: Bakbukiah and Unni, straight-up ride-or-die, holding it down across from them during the watches.
And check it, Jeshua’s lineage is legit: His son Joiakim, who passed it to Eliashib, and then Eliashib’s son, Joiada, keeping that family legacy alive. 🙌
Alright, fam, check this out: Joiada was the dad of Jonathan, and Jonathan was the dad of Jaddua, keeping that family tree strong.
Now, back in Joiakim’s time, here’s how the priest hierarchy looked: Seraiah’s right-hand was Meraiah, while Jeremiah’s top priest was Hananiah.
And let’s break it down even further: Meshullam’s crew was repping Ezra, while Jehohanan was rolling deep with Amariah.
Melicu was in the mix, alongside Jonathan, holding it down. Shebaniah had Joseph right there by his side, making moves like a powerhouse team. 🌟🙏
Alright, fam, let’s keep this vibe rolling: Harim was rolling with Adna, while Meraioth was holding it down with Helkai.
Iddo’s clique was repping Zechariah, and Ginnethon had Meshullam on lock.
Abijah’s squad included Zichri, Miniamin was running with Moadiah, and let’s give a shoutout to Piltai, holding it down in the mix too! 🙌🔥
Check this out, fam! Bilgah’s crew had Shammua holdin’ it down, while Shemaiah’s clique was repped by Jehonathan.
Joiarib picked Mattenai, and Jedaiah rolled with Uzzi.
Sallai brought in Slay, Kallai had Killa, and Amok came through with Aces. But Eber? He stayed true to his roots, keepin’ it OG.
Hilkiah’s posse was led by Hashabiah, while Jedaiah’s squad was rollin’ with Nethaneel.
When Eliashib, Joiada, Johanan, and Jaddua were holdin’ it down, the Levites were the top dogs of their families. The priests were in on the action too, all the way up to when Darius the Persian was in charge.
The Levi squad, with their OG dads at the helm, got their names in the history books, all the way till Johanan, Eliashib’s offspring, stepped up.
And at the top of the Levite game were Hashabiah, Sherebiah, and Jeshua, son of Kadmiel. They teamed up with their fellow Levites to drop some sick beats and show love, following David’s playbook, a man handpicked by the big man upstairs. Each crew had their own gigs and were posted up in specific zones.
Matt, Bak, Obi, Mesh, Tally, and Akk held it down at the door, making sure no riffraff got through.
These folks were doin’ their thing when Joiakim, son of Jeshua, grandson of Jozadak, was runnin’ the show. Nehemiah was holdin’ it down as governor, and Ezra was in charge as the priest and scribe.
When they threw down to dedicate the wall in Jerusalem, they scoured every corner to find the Levites and bring them in. They were all about making this dedication a lit celebration, full of gratitude, singing, and vibes, with cymbals, sick string instruments, and dope harps.
All the rad singers linked up, coming from the laid-back countryside near Jerusalem and the epic villages of Netophathi.
They were even rolling in from the lit scene in Gilgal and straight outta the chill fields of Geba and Azmaveth. These dope singers were all about building their lit communities all around Jerusalem.
The priests and Levites were all about that purification vibe, cleansing themselves, the people, the gates, and the wall. Clean vibes everywhere!
Then, I rounded up the top influencers of Judah and split them into two major squads, all about spreading gratitude. One crew strolled down the right side of the wall towards the dung gate.
Next up was Hoshaiah, bringing his A-game, with half of the raddest leaders in Judah in tow.
Then came Azariah, Ezra, and Meshullam.
We had Judah, Benjamin, Shemaiah, and Jeremiah holdin’ it down.
And check it, there were some dope priests’ sons tearing it up on the trumpets, like Zechariah, son of Jonathan, grandson of Shemaiah, great-grandson of Mattaniah, great-great-grandson of Michaiah, great-great-great-grandson of Zaccur, and great-great-great-great-grandson of Asaph.
His crew was lit too, with Shemzy, Azzy, Mily, Gilly, Mai, Neth, and Judah, Hanani, vibing out to the sick beats of David the OG, with Ezra the wordsmith leading the charge.
So, they bounced over to the fountain gate, straight across from where they were. They hiked up the stairs of the city of David alongside the wall, all the way up to the water gate on the east side, passing by the house of David.
Then the rest of the crew who were feeling thankful joined in, rolling opposite them, with me bringing up the rear. Half of the squad stayed posted up on the wall, from beyond the tower of the furnaces all the way to the broad wall.
From up by the Ephraim gate, to the old gate, to the fish gate, and all the way to the tower of Hananeel and the tower of Meah, they were on it. They didn’t miss a beat, rolling all the way to the sheep gate — then they just chilled at the prison gate.
So, picture this: we’re posted up in the house of God, right? It’s lit, there are two crews straight-up giving thanks, and yours truly is chilling there, keeping it real with half of the squad leaders.
Now, check this out: we got Eliakim, Maaseiah, Miniamin, Michaiah, Elioenai, Zechariah, and Hananiah, straight-up vibing with the trumpets! They’re bringing the sound, making the whole place feel blessed. 🎺🙏
And yo, check it, there’s more: Maaseiah, Shemaiah, Eleazar, Uzzi, Jehohanan, Malchijah, Elam, and Ezer were in the mix too. These singers? They were straight-up slaying it, no cap! And leading the hype train was Jezrahiah, their ultimate hype person.
Picture this: on that day, they brought the fire with some epic sacrifices and then they partied like there was no tomorrow. God was all about it, blessing them with mad joy vibes. Even the wives and kids were feeling the love, hyped up and all. It was like the whole city of Jerusalem was buzzing with joy, and you could hear the vibes from miles away. 🎉🙌
Alright, rewind to back in the day: they had these peeps in charge of the treasure chambers, offerings, firstfruits, and tithes. Their job? To gather up a cut of the law for the priests and Levites straight from the fields of the cities. And let me tell ya, Judah was all about showing love to the priests and Levites, waiting on them like it was their main gig. (And just so you’re in the loop, “waited” here means they were chilling, holding it down.) 🌾💰
Yo, check it: the singers and the porters were straight-up repping for their God. They were all about keeping it pure, following the commandments laid down by David and his son, Solomon. 🎶🔒
So, back in the day, when David and Asaph were calling the shots, they had these insanely talented singers leading the charge, jamming out and showing mad love and gratitude to God.
And fast forward to the times of Zerubbabel and Nehemiah, all of Israel was on point, making sure the singers and gatekeepers got their due every single day. They set aside special offerings for the Levites, who then passed them on to the descendants of Aaron. 🎤🚪

Nehemiah 13

Alright, picture this: the whole crew was gathered, vibing together, reading from Moses’ OG book. Then boom, major discovery alert: it straight-up said that the Ammonites and Moabites were banned from God’s assembly forever.
Yo, those peeps didn’t even slide the Israelites any snacks or hydration, nah, they went and hired Balaam to throw shade their way. But check it, our God did a 180 on that plan and transformed that curse into a solid blessing.
Okay, so when they got the lowdown on the law, they were like, “Adios,” and bounced from the mixed crowd in Israel.
So, there’s this priest guy, Eliashib, right? He’s holding it down in God’s crib, and guess what? He’s tight with Tobiah! Can you even? Like, dude’s got a major role, running the show and all.
So, this dude set up this sick room with all the essentials for the Levites, singers, and porters to kick back. They had all the goods in there: meat offerings, frankincense, vessels, plus they hooked it up with the tithe of corn, new wine, and oil. And yo, they didn’t skip out on the offerings from the priests either, just as commanded. It was like the ultimate chill spot!
But yo, I wasn’t even in Jerusalem during all this. It wasn’t until the thirty-second year of King Artaxerxes of Babylon that I rolled up to see the king. And lemme tell ya, getting permission was a whole saga—I had to beg for it real hard!
So I hit up Jerusalem, right? And that’s when I found out about the shady move Eliashib pulled, letting Tobiah crash in God’s holy spot.
And I was majorly ticked, so I straight-up booted Tobiah’s stuff out of there.
So, I laid down the law, and they were on it—they cleared out those rooms like lightning. And then, I brought back all the legit gear from God’s place, you know, the food and the sweet-smelling stuff.
So, I peeped that the Levites weren’t getting what’s rightfully theirs, ’cause both the Levites and the singers dipped to do their own thing on their farms.
So, I called out the top dogs like, “Hey, why’s the house of God feeling ghosted?” And I rallied everyone up to make sure they were in their rightful places, standing tall.
So, all the crew from Judah kicked in their tenth of the crops, new wine, and oil to the storage spots.
Then, I put Shelemiah the priest, Zadok the scribe, and Pedaiah from the Levites in charge of the cash flow. And Hanan, son of Zaccur, grandson of Mattaniah, was on deck too, ’cause they had a rep for being legit and reliable. Their gig was to divvy up the goods among their peeps.
Yo, God, I’m just putting it out there—don’t ghost me on this one. And, yo, don’t wipe away all the sick things I’ve been doing for Your place, and all the rad stuff I’ve been holding down there.
So, way back when, I peeped folks in Judah just hustling away—stomping grapes, hauling sheaves, loading up those donkeys. And get this, they were even schlepping in wine, grapes, figs, and all kinds of goods into Jerusalem on the Sabbath. It was a full-on operation. But, man, I wasn’t vibing with it. I straight-up called them out on that very day they were trying to hawk all that food.
So, there were these slick dudes from Tyre posted up, flexing their fishing game and hustling all sorts of goods to the Judah and Jerusalem crew, even on the chill day, yo!
So, I rolled up on the Judah big shots and dropped it like, “Hey, what’s the deal with this shady move, straight-up dissing the Sabbath day?!”
Hey, didn’t your fam pull the same stunt back in the day? Didn’t our God drop all this heaviness on us and the city? And now you’re just stirring up more drama by dissing the Sabbath. Seriously?
So, here’s the deal, right? When the sun was dipping on the last day of the week, I was like, “Yo, let’s lock those gates tight!” And I made sure nobody cracked ’em open ’til after the day of chill. Then, I set up my squad to watch the gates and make sure nobody tried to haul in heavy stuff on the day of rest.
So the traders and sellers of all kinds of gear camped outside Jerusalem for a night or two.
So, I straight-up called them out, like, “What’s with the camping near the wall?” If you try that again, I’m gonna have to lay down the law. After that, they never showed up on the Sabbath anymore. (BTW, ‘about’ here means ‘before’.)
So, I gave the Levites the heads up to tidy up and keep watch at the gates, making sure the Sabbath day stayed sacred. And, God, don’t forget about me and show me some love, just like You always do.
So, way back, I clocked some Jewish crew getting serious with ladies from Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. They were all in, ready to settle down with them, you know?
And their offspring, like, picked up this funky Ashdod lingo and couldn’t even chat in the same tongue as the Jews anymore. It was like they ditched their roots and started talking like everyone else around them. It was all mixed up with different languages from different folks!
So, I had a real heart-to-heart with them, laid down some heavy truth, maybe even threw a few punches, pulled some hair, and got them to swear to God, like, “You better not let your daughters marry their sons, or your sons marry their daughters, not even for yourself.”
Yo, you heard about King Solomon of Israel, right? Like, he had his slip-ups and all, but out of all the kings from every nation, none were as slick as him. God was all about him and crowned him king over all Israel. But, man, even he got caught up with these foreign ladies and messed up big time.
So, you’re seriously suggesting we go ahead and pull this majorly sketch move by marrying folks from different scenes, totally dissing our God? No can do!
Turns out, one of Joiada’s sons, who was Eliashib the high priest’s grandson, was tied up with Sanballat the Horonite. I had to make the call and cut ties with him.
Hey, God, just a heads-up about those folks who really dropped the ball on the whole priest game and straight-up broke the covenant with the Levites.
So, I cleaned house, kicked out all the outsiders, and got the priests and Levites back on track with their rightful duties.
And don’t forget to bring some firewood and those lit offerings. Plus, make sure to show gratitude for those first fruits. Yo, God, keep me in the loop and bless up, fam.