John - Gen Z Bible

John 1

Yo, way back in the day, there was the Word. And that Word? It was kickin’ it with God, and straight up, that Word was God!
Been there since day one, you feel?
He made everything, like, legit everything; not a single thing went down without his say-so.
He was full of life, and that life brought light to everyone.
So, like, the light was shining in the darkness, but the darkness was clueless. Like, couldn’t even wrap its head around it, you know?
Then God sent this dude named John, like, outta nowhere, you know?
John was here to spill the tea about the Light, so everyone could get with the program.
Not the main event, but sent to hype up that crazy light.
That light was the real deal, shining on everyone, no exceptions.
So, like, he was here, right? And get this, he made the whole world, but the world was clueless about him.
He came to his crew, but they weren’t feeling him.
But anyone who was down with him, he hooked them up big time, making them God’s squad, to those who were all about his vibe. Power move, right?
Born not from some family line or human desire, but straight from God’s playbook.
The Word became human and kicked it with us (we saw how legit he was, like the only Son rollin’ with the Dad), total boss move.
John was hyping him up, like, listen up, this is the dude I was talkin’ about. The one coming after me is way cooler, ’cause he’s been around way longer than me.
And we’ve all been blessed, like big time, with his overflow, getting grace stacked on grace.
Moses brought the rules, but Jesus Christ came through with that grace and truth vibe.
No one’s ever seen God, but the only Son, chilling in the Dad’s crib, came through with the scoop on him.
So, about John, the Jews were all up in his DMs, sending priests and Levites from Jerusalem to slide into his inbox and ask him, ‘Who do you think you are, though?’
And he straight up admitted, no lies; didn’t try to front, just said, ‘I’m not the Christ.’
They were like, ‘So, are you Elias?’ And he’s like, ‘Nah, not me.’ Then they’re like, ‘Are you that prophet?’ And he’s like, ‘Nah, not me either.’
They asked him, ‘Then who are you? We gotta report back. What’s your deal?’
Yo, I’m out here shouting in the middle of nowhere, telling y’all to get ready for the Lord, just like that prophet Isaiah said.
And the peeps who got sent were, like, Pharisees or something.
And they were like, yo, why you dunking people if you ain’t the Christ, or Elias, or that prophet? What’s the deal?
Yo, John here. Just to clear things up, I’m all about that water baptism. But, listen, there’s someone hanging with y’all that you totally don’t recognize.
He’s the one who’s gonna blow up after me, way bigger than me. I’m not even worthy to tie his kicks.
All this went down in Bethabara, out in Jordan, where John was doing his thing.
The next day, John sees Jesus coming and says, ‘Look, here comes the Lamb of God, taking away the sin of the world.’
Remember when I told y’all about this dude coming after me but way cooler? Yeah, turns out he was around before me. Can’t front on that.
I didn’t really know him at first, but I’m here to put him on blast for Israel, hence the water dunking.
So, John saw this epic moment and was like, yo, I saw the Spirit coming down from heaven, chillin’ on Jesus like a peaceful dove.
And yo, I was clueless, didn’t even recognize him. But the dude who sent me to splash people with water told me, when you see the Spirit coming down and chilling, that’s the one who’s all about that Holy Ghost baptism.
I was peeping, and I gotta say, this dude right here? He’s the Son of God, no lies.
The next day, John was just hanging, and two of his boys rolled up;
Check out Jesus strolling by, he’s the legit Lamb of God!
And the two homies were totally feeling it, so they started rolling with Jesus.
So Jesus peeps them and says, ‘What’s good? What are you looking for?’ They’re like, ‘Yo, Master! Where you staying?’
He’s like, ‘Come see.’ So they check it out, and they kick it with him for the whole day, it was like around 10pm. (That’s like two hours before night, just so you know.)
One of the two dudes who heard John talking and started rolling with him was Andrew, Simon Peter’s bro.
He finds his bro Simon and says, ‘Yo, guess what? We found the Messiah. That’s like, the Christ, you know? But also, the Anointed One.’
So he takes him to Jesus. And when Jesus sees him, he says, ‘You’re Simon, son of Jona. But from now on, you’re gonna be called Cephas, which means ‘A stone’.
The next day, Jesus was like, ‘Let’s hit up Galilee!’ And he comes across Philip and straight up says, ‘Dude, come follow me!’
So Philip was from Bethsaida, which is where Andrew and Peter came from.
Philip sees Nathanael and is like, ‘Dude, we found the guy Moses and the prophets talked about in the law—Jesus of Nazareth, Joseph’s son!’
So, Nathanael was like, ‘Can anything great even come out of Nazareth?’ And Philip was like, ‘Dude, just come and see for yourself.’
When Jesus spots Nathanael coming, he’s like, ‘Yo, check out this legit Israelite, no lies, dude’s totally real!’
Nathanael’s like, yo, how you know me? Jesus be like, don’t sweat it, bro. I saw you chilling under that fig tree even before Philip hit you up.
Nathanael’s like, Yo, Master, you’re like the ultimate Son of God, the real King of Israel.
Jesus is like, ‘Just ’cause I told you I saw you under the fig tree, you believe? Get ready, ’cause you’re gonna see even crazier stuff!’
And for real, I’m telling you, in the future, you’re gonna see heaven straight up opening, and angels doing their thing on the Son of Man.

John 2

So, like, on the third day, this rad wedding was going down in Cana of Galilee, and guess what? Jesus’ mom was totally there too!
So Jesus and his crew got invited to the lit wedding!
So, like, they run out of wine, right? And Jesus’ mom’s like, ‘Hey, Jesus, they’re totally out of wine!’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, why you stressing, mom? It’s not my time yet.’
His mom tells the crew, “Just do whatever he tells you to do.”
There were these six stone water jugs there, the kind the Jews used for purifying, holding like two or three big jugs each.
Jesus goes, ‘Yo, fill those water jugs up, fam.’ And they fill ’em up all the way to the top.
And he’s like, ‘Yo, guys, take it over to the party host.’ So they brought it, no lie.
When the host took a sip of the water-turned-wine and had no clue where it came from (but the crew who poured the water did), the host called the groom.
And he’s like, ‘Dude, usually they start with the good stuff, you know, top-tier wine. But once people are already pretty buzzed, they bring out the cheap stuff. But you, man, you saved the best for last. That’s epic!’
Yo, this was when Jesus first flexed his miracle game in Cana of Galilee, totally showing His power and His disciples were like, ‘Whoa!’
Then, he rolls to Capernaum with his fam and squad, including his mom, siblings, and followers. They hung out for a bit, but didn’t stay long, you know?
So it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, and Jesus rolls up to Jerusalem like a boss,
So, Jesus goes into the temple and sees these people selling oxen, sheep, and doves, and others exchanging money while just chilling:
Then he grabs some cords and makes a whip out of them. He straight-up kicks everyone, including the sheep and the oxen, out of the temple. He flips the tables and straight-up dumps out all the money from the money changers.
And he tells the people selling doves, ‘Move these things out of here; don’t turn my Father’s house into a marketplace.’
And Jesus’ crew is like, ‘Yo, don’t forget it was written, I’m all about that holy life and it’s totally consuming me.’
The Jews are like, ‘Yo, what’s your deal, man? Can you show us some proof for all the stuff you’re doing?’
Jesus straight up replies, ‘Yo, wreck this temple, and I’ll straight up rebuild it in just three days.’
So, like, the Jews are all, ‘Dude, this temple took forty-six whole years to build, and now you’re saying you’ll reconstruct it in just three days? Seriously?’
But he was talking about his body, like, the temple.
So, like, when Jesus came back to life, his crew totally remembered that he had already told them this. They trusted what was written in Scripture and everything that Jesus had said.
So like, when he was chilling in Jerusalem during Passover, at this big feast day, a lot of people started vibing with him and believing in his name, once they saw all the epic miracles he was pulling off.
But Jesus wasn’t about to trust them, ’cause he knew all about their true intentions, you know?
And he didn’t need anyone to vouch for him, ’cause he totally knew what people were made of.

John 3

So there was this Pharisee dude named Nicodemus, he was like a big shot ruler among the Jewish peeps:
So this guy slid up to Jesus at night and was like, ‘Hey, Rabbi, we know you’re legit. You must be a teacher sent by God cause nobody can pull off these mind-blowing miracles unless God’s got their back.’
Jesus was like, ‘Listen up, dude, I’m 100% serious when I tell you this: if you don’t go through a total transformation and start fresh, you won’t even get a glimpse of God’s kingdom.’
Nicodemus is like, yo Jesus, how can a dude get born again once he’s old and stuff? Can he like, hop back into his mom’s womb and pop out again?
Yo, Jesus said, like, seriously, I’m telling you, unless you’re born both physically, like water birth style, and spiritually, you can’t even enter God’s kingdom. No joke, it’s the real deal.
Like, when you’re born into this world, yeah, you become all about human stuff and earthly desires, but when you’re reborn spiritually, it’s all about that spiritual vibe, you know?
Don’t freak out when I tell you, you gotta go through a rebirth.
The wind goes wherever it wants, and you hear the sound it makes, but you can’t really figure out where it’s coming from or where it’s going. That’s how it is with everyone who’s born from the Spirit.
Nicodemus was like, ‘Wait, how is any of this even possible?’
Jesus was like, seriously? Are you, like, supposed to be this knowledgeable leader in Israel, and you don’t even know this stuff?
For real, I’m telling you straight up, we’re talking about what we really know and giving our firsthand account, but you’re not accepting our testimony.
Like, if I spill some basic facts that happen right here on Earth and you still don’t vibe with it, how are you gonna grasp the bigger cosmic stuff if I drop that knowledge on you?
No one has ever like, gone up to heaven, except the dude who came down from heaven, you know, the Son of man who’s chilling up there in heaven.
And like, remember how Moses was like, holding up that snake in the desert? Well, in the same way, the Son of man has to be, you know, raised up too:
So, like, anyone who, like, totally believes in him won’t, like, die or anything, but will have, like, eternal life, you know?
God loved the world so much, that he sent his one and only Son, so that those who trust in him will not be destroyed, but will have never-ending life.
God didn’t send his Son to trash the world, but to save it through him.
If you trust him, you won’t get judged. But if you don’t trust him, you’re already in a tough spot because you haven’t trusted in the name of God’s one and only Son.
And like, here’s the deal, the problem is that, back in the day, light like totally entered the scene, you know? But peeps were all about the darkness, coz, like, their actions were just straight-up wicked, bro.
Anyone who does wrong hates the truth and avoids it, because they don’t want their actions to be exposed.
But whoever stays true and authentic embraces transparency, so that their actions may be revealed as those aligned with God’s guidance.
So, Jesus and his squad rolled into Judaea, and decided to chill there for a while, and you know what? He got into the whole baptism thing too.
So John was doing some baptizing over at Aenon, close to Salim, because there was a ton of water there. People showed up and got baptized, too.
But John hadn’t gotten locked up yet.
So there was this argument that went down between a few of John’s crew and the Jews about the whole purification thing.
So they went up to John and said, ‘Hey, Rabbi! That dude you were talking about, the one you were vouching for? Well, guess what? He’s over at the other side of the river Jordan, baptizing people left and right, and everyone is flocking to him.’
John was like, yo, peep this: you can’t get anything, unless it’s given to you from heaven.
Y’all can totally vouch for me when I straight up said, I ain’t the Messiah, but I’m just here to pave the way for him.
The guy who has the girl as his partner is the groom, but the buddy of the groom, who’s standing and listening to him, is super stoked because of the groom’s voice. So, that’s when I feel complete happiness.
He gotta level up, but I gotta chill.
The person who comes from above is on a whole other level: the one who comes from the earth is all about earthly things and talks about earthly stuff; but the one who comes from heaven, they’re above everyone and everything.
And yo, whatever he saw and heard, he straight up testifyin’. But man, ain’t nobody takin’ his word for it.
If you’re vibing with His testimony, then you’re straight-up confirming that God is legit.
The person God sent speaks exactly what God says. God doesn’t hold back when giving him the Spirit.
The Dad totally adores the Son, and has handed over everything to him like, all of it!
Anyone who puts their faith in the Son will have a life that never ends: but those who don’t believe in the Son won’t experience life; instead, God’s anger will stay on them.

John 4

So, like, when the Lord found out that the Pharisees heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John,
(Even though Jesus didn’t do the baptizing, but his squad did,)
He bounced out of Judaea and jetted back to Galilee.
So, like, he had to go through Samaria, you know?
So, he arrives at this city in Samaria, you know, called Sychar, which is like right next to the land that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.
So like, Jacob had this well, right? And guess what, Jesus was there too, after a long journey and feeling tired AF. So he sat down by the well, and just FYI, it was like around 6 PM.
This woman from Samaria comes to get water, and Jesus is like, ‘Yo, can you hook me up with a drink?’
(Because his squad had dipped to the city to cop some grub.)
So, the woman from Samaria is like, ‘Wait, why are you, a Jew, asking me for a drink? Like, we’re Samaritans and you guys don’t really interact with us.’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, if you knew what God has in store for you and who I am, asking you for a sip, you would’ve straight up asked me back and I would’ve hooked you up with some next-level refreshing vibes.
The woman’s like, ‘Yo, dude, you don’t even have anything to draw water with, and this well is like super deep. So, where do you even get this living water from?’
Are you seriously trying to flex on our OG, Jacob? He’s the one who hooked us up with this lit well, you know? Like, he drank from it, his kids drank from it, even his animals got in on that hydration action. So, who do you think you are, trying to act all superior and stuff?
Jesus replied to her, ‘Anyone who takes a sip of this water will get thirsty all over again:’
But whoever sips on the lit water I hook them up with won’t ever feel parched again; in fact, it’ll be like a dope well of water inside them, refreshing them with endless life.
The lady’s like, ‘Yo, can you hook me up with that water, so I don’t have to keep coming here to get it? I’m thirsty AF.’
Jesus is like, ‘Hey, go hit up your husband and bring him over here.’
The woman was like, ‘I don’t have a husband.’ Jesus was like, ‘True that, you’re speaking the truth, you don’t have a husband.’
So, you’ve had like five husbands in the past, and the guy you’re with now isn’t officially your hubby, if you know what I mean. You’re keeping it real, sis.
Yo, she’s like, ‘Dude, I can tell you’re totally a prophet.’
Bruh, our ancestors used to do their worship here on this lit mountain, but y’all out here claiming that worshiping in Jerusalem is the only way to go.
Jesus is like, yo woman, trust me, there’s gonna be a time when you won’t need to go to any specific place, not even Jerusalem or this mountain, to worship the Father.
Bruh, y’all be worshipin’ without havin’ a clue, but we stay woke on our worship game. ‘Cause, yo, salvation is all thanks to the Jews, fam.
Yo, listen up! The moment is near, like right now, when the real ones gonna worship the Father with heart and honesty. ‘Cause that’s what the Father’s looking for, people who are all about that worship game.
God is like, totally a spiritual being: and yo, if you wanna worship Him, you gotta do it with a legit, authentic spirit and be all about that truth.
The woman is like, ‘Yo, I know the Messias is gonna come, he’s the one called Christ. When he shows up, he’s gonna spill all the tea.’
Jesus is like, ‘Yo, it’s me, the one talking to you.’
So, like, his disciples showed up and were totally amazed that he was like, talking to this woman, you know? But, none of them were brave enough to be like, ‘Hey, what are you looking for?’ or ‘Why are you talking to her?’
Then the woman was like, ‘Bye, water bottle!’ and went into the city and was like, ‘Hey, guys! Guess what?’
Yo, come check out this dude who straight up knew everything I’ve ever done. Like, isn’t he the Messiah or what?
So they dipped from the city and rolled up on Him.
Meanwhile, his disciples were like, ‘Yo, Teacher, get some grub.’
But he was like, ‘Guys, I’ve got some lit food that you’re clueless about.’
So the disciples were like, ‘Yo, did anyone bring him some food to eat?’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, listen up! Doing what God wants is my ultimate vibe, and completing His work is what fuels me.
Yo, don’t be like, ‘Oh there’s still like four months left till harvest time, no need to worry.’ Listen up, I’m telling you, open your eyes and check out the fields, ’cause they’re like totally ready for harvest right now.
And the one who reaps gets paid and collects fruit that leads to everlasting life, so that both the one who plants and the one who harvests can celebrate together.
And this is what’s up, fam: One person puts in the work, and someone else reaps the benefits.
I hooked you up with the fruits of someone else’s hustle: they put in the work, and now you’re reaping the benefits without lifting a finger.
And a lot of the Samaritans in that city started to believe in him because of what the woman said. She was all like, ‘He totally knows everything I’ve ever done!’
So when the Samaritans pulled up to him, they were like, ‘Hey, can you chill with us?’ And he was down, so he stayed there for two days.
And lots of other people believed because of what he said;
And he said to the woman, Now we totally vibe with you, not just because of what you said: we’ve actually heard ourselves, and we legit know that this is for real the Christ, the ultimate Savior of the world.
So, like, two days later, he left from there and went to Galilee.
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, I’m telling you guys, prophets ain’t respected in their own hometown.’
So, like, when he arrived in Galilee, the Galilaeans totally welcomed him ’cause they witnessed all the crazy stuff he pulled off in Jerusalem during the feast. ‘Cause, ya know, they went to the feast too.
So Jesus went back to Cana of Galilee, where he turned water into wine. And there was this dude, who was pretty important, and his son was sick in Capernaum.
When he found out that Jesus came from Judaea to Galilee, he went to him and begged him to come and cure his son because he was seriously ill.
Jesus was like, ‘Bro, unless you see some insane signs and miracles, you won’t even believe in me.’
The rich dude’s like, ‘Yo, come down quick before my kid croaks.’
Jesus was like, ‘Dude, go home, your son is totally alive.’ And the guy was all, like, ‘I trust you, man.’ So he bounced.
And as he was heading down, his squad ran into him and said, ‘Yo, your son is alive!’
So he asked them when he started feeling better. And they told him, it was yesterday at around 7 o’clock when the fever finally left him.
So the dad realized that at the exact moment Jesus told him, ‘Your son is alive.’ And he totally believed Jesus, and his whole family believed too.
Yo, check it out, this was the second dope miracle Jesus pulled off after he bounced from Judaea and rolled into Galilee.

John 5

So, there was this lit fest of the Jews, and Jesus was like, “Time to flex!” and headed to Jerusalem.
Near the sheep hangout spot in Jerusalem, there’s this cool pool called Bethesda in Hebrew. It’s got five porches, FYI. (BTW, the word ‘market’ can also mean ‘gate,’ just a fun fact!)
There were a whole bunch of people who couldn’t walk, blind, unable to move properly, just chilling there, hoping for the water to start stirring.
So, there was this angel who came down to the pool at a specific time and stirred up the water. And then, whoever was quick enough to jump in right after the water got stirred up would be completely healed from any sickness they had.
So, there was this dude chilling there, dealing with a health issue for a whole thirty-eight years.
When Jesus peeped that he was down and knew he had been in that situation for a hot minute, he straight up asked him, ‘You wanna be healed or what?’
Yo, bro, this dude who couldn’t walk straight up told him, ‘Yo, man, I don’t got anyone to help me into the pool when the water gets all stirred up. Every time I try to make my way there, someone else beats me to it.’
Yo, Jesus is like, ‘Hey dude, get up, grab your mattress, and start walking.’
And, like, right away the guy was totally healed, and he picked up his bed and walked, no joke. And by the way, it was the Sabbath day and everything.
The Jews were like, ‘Hey, dude who got healed, you can’t be carrying your bed on the Sabbath. Not cool, bro.’
He replied, the one who healed me told me to grab my mattress and start walking.
So like, they were all like, ‘Yo, who’s the dude that told you to pick up your bed and start walking?’
And the guy who got healed didn’t even know who did it, ’cause Jesus dipped out real quick when there was a massive crowd around. Like, he vanished into thin air, ya know?
Later, Jesus finds him in the temple and says, ‘Yo, check it out, you’re healed! But like, chill with the sinning, or else something way worse can happen to you.’
The guy bounced, and spilled the tea to the squad that it was Jesus who straight up healed him.
So the Jews started hating on Jesus and wanted to take him out, just because he did some cool stuff on the day of rest.
But Jesus replied to them, yo, my pops be grindin’ nonstop, and I’m just out here doin’ my thing too.
So, like, the Jews were super triggered and totally wanted to eliminate him because not only did he, like, totally disregard the whole Sabbath thing, but he also straight-up claimed that God was his Father, asserting that he’s equal to God.
Jesus replied and said to them, truly, truly, I’m telling y’all that the Son can’t do anything on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise.
Because the Father totally loves the Son, and he reveals everything he does to him: and he’s gonna show him even cooler stuff than this, so you all can be mind-blown.
Just like how God brings people back to life and makes them alive again, the Son also brings people back to life as he chooses.
lol, God the Father doesn’t judge anyone, He lets His son handle it: like, Jesus is in charge of all the judging, you know?
Ya’ll gotta show mad respect to the Son, just like you do to the Father. If you don’t show respect to the Son, you ain’t showing respect to the Father who sent him.
For real though, I’m telling you, if you listen to what I’m saying and believe in the one who sent me, you’ll have eternal life and won’t be judged. You’ll go from death to life, no doubt about it.
Seriously, listen up! I’m telling you, the time is coming, and it’s happening right now, when the people who have passed away will hear the voice of the Son of God: and those who listen will come back to life.
Just like how the Father has life within him, He has given the Son the power to have life within himself too;
And like, He’s totally given Him the power to bring down judgment and stuff, ’cause He’s the Son of man and all.
Don’t be shook by this: ’cause the time’s approaching when all the homies in the graves will hear his voice.
And like, they’re gonna come out of their graves and stuff, those who’ve done good, they’ll get a dope resurrection and enter into eternal life, while those who’ve done evil, they’re gonna face a major resurrection but it’s gonna be a total bummer ’cause it leads to eternal punishment.
I can’t do anything on my own, fam. I only do what I hear, and when I judge, it’s all fair game. It’s not about my own desires, but about doing the will of the Father who sent me.
If I flex on myself, my flex ain’t legit.
There’s someone else who’s got my back, and I totally trust that what they say about me is legit.
You hit up John and he straight up endorsed the truth, no cap.
Yo, I ain’t just relying on what people say to back me up. I’m telling you these things so that you can find salvation.
He was like a lit AF beacon, shining bright and attracting major attention: and y’all were totally down to celebrate his glow for a hot minute.
But I’ve got even more proof than John does: the stuff I’ve been doing, the tasks my Dad gave me, they totally back me up and show that my Dad sent me on this mission.
And the Dad, like, the one who sent me, has totally vouched for me. You guys haven’t even heard his voice or seen what he looks like, ever.
And like, you don’t even have his word staying with you, ’cause you straight up don’t believe in the one he sent.
Yo, like, check out the scriptures, fam! ‘Cause, like, you think that’s where you find eternal life and stuff, and, yo, they’re the ones that straight up testify about me.
And you won’t even come to me, like, seriously, I’m here to give you life, but you’re just not interested, smh.
I don’t seek validation from others.
But I peeped you, fam, and I can tell you’re lacking that divine love vibe.
Yo, I’m rollin’ up in my Father’s name, but y’all ain’t feelin’ me: if some homie shows up touting his own name, you’ll be all about him.
Why can’t you believe? You’re all about seeking validation from each other, but you don’t even care about the validation that comes from God alone!
Don’t even think I’m gonna rat you out to the Big Guy upstairs – you’ve got Moses on your case, the guy you put all your faith in.
If y’all actually believed Moses, then y’all would’ve believed me too, ’cause he straight up wrote about me, fam.
But if you don’t have faith in his writings, how are you gonna trust what I’m sayin’?

John 6

So, Jesus was like, “Let’s take a cruise across the Galilee, you know, that place they sometimes call Tiberias Sea.”
A massive crowd was vibing with him, ’cause they’d seen him pull off some epic miracles on folks who were really down.
So Jesus hikes up this chill mountain and finds a primo spot to hang with his squad.
And Passover, the lit Jewish feast, was coming up.
When Jesus scoped out this big crowd coming towards him, he hits up Philip like, “Where can we score some grub for all these peeps?”
He was low-key testing him though, ’cause he already knew what he was about to do.
Philip’s like, “Bro, even if we had mad cash for bread, it wouldn’t be enough for everyone to even get a taste, you feel me?”
So, this dude Andrew, Simon Peter’s bro, steps up like,
“Yo, we got this dude here with five loaves and two fish, but like, what’s that gonna do for this massive crowd?”
And Jesus is like, “Chill, guys, take a seat.” Oh, by the way, there was plenty of grass around. So, all the peeps sat down, like around five thousand of ’em.
Jesus takes the bread, says thanks, and passes it to his crew, who hook everyone up. Same deal with the fish, giving out as much as they wanted.
After everyone’s stuffed, he’s like, “Yo, gather up the leftovers so we don’t waste anything.”
They end up filling twelve baskets with the leftover pieces from the five loaves, even after everyone ate their fill.
Those peeps, after witnessing Jesus’ epic miracle, were like, “Yo, this dude’s legit, the prophet we’ve been waiting for, no cap.”
Jesus knew they were about to try and crown him king, but he’s like, “Nah, not my vibe.” So, he dips solo up a mountain.
And when it got dark, his crew heads down to the sea,
Jump on a boat and sail across to Capernaum. It’s getting late, and Jesus still hasn’t shown.
Then a wild windstorm hits the sea.
So, after rowing for like, 25 or 30 furlongs, they see Jesus just strolling on the water towards the boat, and they’re freaking out, man.
But he’s like, “Chill, it’s just me! Don’t trip.”
They’re down to let him on board, and suddenly, they’re at their destination.
The next day, peeps on the other side of the sea notice there’s no other boats except the one his crew took, and Jesus wasn’t with them when they left;
But then some boats from Tiberias show up where they were chowing down, right after Jesus says thanks.
So, when they realize Jesus and his crew bounced, they hop on a boat and head to Capernaum to find him.
They track him down across the shore, like, “Yo, Rabbi, when’d you get here?”
Jesus is like, “Listen up! I gotta drop some real truth. You’re only looking for me ’cause of free grub, not ’cause you peeped the sick miracles.”
“Don’t hustle just for temporary gains, but focus on the real deal that lasts forever – the eternal life the Son of Man hooks you up with. God the Father’s totally co-signing, so you know it’s legit.”
They’re like, “Yo, what’s the hustle to do some dope stuff for God?”
Jesus is like, “Listen up, fam. The real deal is this: God’s work is all about believing in the one he sent.”
They’re like, “Yo, what kind of epic miracle you gonna pull to make us believe?”
“Our ancestors had this lit manna in the desert, fam; like it says, God hooked them up with heaven-sent bread.”
Jesus is like, “For real though, Moses ain’t the plug for that heavenly bread. My pops is serving up the real deal, bread from heaven.”
“The real deal from God is lit, coming straight from heaven, giving life to the whole world.”
They’re like, “Yo, keep that bread coming.”
Jesus is like, “Listen, I’m the ultimate soul food: anyone chilling with me won’t ever feel empty, and whoever trusts in me won’t ever feel thirsty.”
“But for real, I told you straight up, you’ve seen me, yet you still ain’t believing. Smh.”
“All the peeps sent to me by God will def come to me, and anyone who comes, I ain’t ever turning them away.”
“I came straight from heaven, not to do my own thing but to do what the one who sent me wants.”
“And what Dad wants, who sent me, is that out of everyone given to me, I don’t let anything slip away, but instead, bring it back to life on the final day.”
“And like, here’s what the dude who sent me wants: anyone who sees the Son and believes in him gets to live forever, you know? And I’ll totally bring them back on the final day, no doubt.”
The Jews are whining about him, ’cause he’s like, “Bro, I’m the bread that came down from heaven.”
So they’re like, “Isn’t this Jesus, Joseph’s kid? We totally know his parents, right? So how’s he saying he came from heaven?”
Jesus is like, “Chill, don’t be gossiping.”
“No cap, no one’s rolling up to me unless the OG who sent me pulls them in. And for real, I got their back on the ultimate day.”
“This is what the prophets said: God’s gonna teach everyone. So anyone who listens and learns from the Father will come to me.”
“No one’s actually seen God, except the ones who are from God; they’ve caught a glimpse.”
“Yo, listen up fam, I’m telling you straight up, anyone who believes in me gets to live forever.”
“I’m like the ultimate energy source, like the bread that keeps you going.”
“Your parents had this epic manna back in their wilderness days, but, like, they’re gone now.”
“Yo fam, this bread’s straight from heaven. When you eat it, you won’t die, bro.”
“Bruh, I’m like the lit bread from heaven, you know? If anyone munches on this bread, they’re gonna live forever, no cap. And the bread I’m serving is actually my own flesh, sacrificed to save the world.”
The Jews are arguing, like, “Um, how can he expect us to, like, eat his flesh?”
Jesus is like, “For real though, unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood, you won’t have any life in you.”
“Anyone who munches on my flesh and drinks my blood will have eternal life, and I’ll totally bring them back on the final day, no cap.”
“Yo, my body’s legit food and my blood’s like actual drink.”
“If you vibe with me and embrace my essence, we’re like permanent roommates, mutually chillin’.”
“Just like how the cool Father sent me and I totally vibe with him, whoever munches on me will vibe with me and have a dope life too.”
“Yo, this is the real deal bread that legit came straight from heaven: It ain’t like how your oldies used to munch on manna and peaced out; but everyone who chows down on this bread will straight up live forever.”
He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.
So like, a bunch of Jesus’ followers, when they heard this, were like, “Dude, this is super difficult to understand! Like, who can even handle it?”
When Jesus peeped his disciples lowkey throwing shade, he’s like, “Does this situation make you mad uncomfortable?”
“What if you, like, witness the Son of man going back to where He was before?”
“The real deal that gives life is the spirit, the physical stuff doesn’t do squat. The words I’m dropping on you? They’re straight-up spirit and pure life.”
But like, there are some of you who don’t believe, you know? Jesus, like, totally knew right from the get-go who those people were, the ones who didn’t believe and would end up betraying him.
So basically, lemme break it down for ya. I’m telling you, no one, like seriously no one, can come to me unless my Dad says so. Straight up.
After that, a bunch of his followers dipped out and decided he wasn’t their vibe anymore.
And Jesus is like, “Yo, twelve homies, y’all gonna ditch me too?”
Yo, Peter straight up responded, “Jesus, like, who else should we bounce to? You straight up speak truth that leads to everlasting life, man.”
“And like, we totally believe and are like 100% sure that you’re the real deal, Jesus, the Son of the awesome living God.”
Jesus is like, “Yo, I picked all y’all as homies, but real talk, one of you is straight-up wicked.”
He was talking about Judas Iscariot, you know, Simon’s kid. Yeah, that’s the guy who was gonna betray him, even though he was part of the crew of twelve.

John 7

So, Jesus was hanging out in Galilee ’cause he wasn’t feeling going to Jewry. The Jews were totally out to get him, man.
So, the Jews were about to celebrate this cool festival called the feast of tabernacles.
So, his squad was all like, ‘Yo, dude, you should totally dip from here and hit up Judaea so your followers can see all the dope stuff you’re doing, you know?’
No one stays low-key anymore. Everyone’s all about that spotlight. If you’re really about it, show yourself to the world.
Yo, even his own crew didn’t believe in him.
And Jesus was like, ‘Yo, it ain’t my time yet, but y’all stay hyped to go.’
The world can’t vibe with you, but it’s totally vibing against me ’cause I’m calling out its shady ways.
Yo, let’s roll up to this feast: I ain’t showing up there just yet, my time ain’t fully lit yet.
After dropping those lines, he stayed in Galilee for a bit.
But when his squad bounced, he also rolled up to the main event, keeping it low-key.
So the Jews were hunting for him during the feast, and they were all like, ‘Where’s he at?’
There was mad talk going around about him, you know? Some people were all like, ‘Yeah, he’s a total legend!’ But then others were like, ‘Nah, he’s just playing everyone.’
But nobody was really speaking openly about him ’cause they were scared of the Jews.
So, in the middle of the feast, Jesus straight up went to the temple and dropped some knowledge bombs on everyone.
And the Jews were shook, like, how does this dude know so much without hitting the books?
Jesus totally clapped back, saying, ‘Yo, what I’m preaching ain’t even my own thing, it’s from the one who sent me.’
If anyone is down to do what he wants, they’ll vibe with the teachings, whether they’re from God or if I’m just speaking for myself.
Someone who only hypes themselves up is just flexing. But someone who speaks about the one who sent them, they’re being real and there’s no cap in them.
Yo, didn’t Moses lay down the law for y’all, but none of you even follow it? Why you out here trying to end my vibe?
The people were like, ‘Dude, you’re tripping! Who’s trying to take you out?’
Jesus was like, ‘Listen up! I just did this one epic thing, and EVERYONE was blown away.’
So Moses gave you the tradition of circumcision (not ’cause he made it up, but ’cause it comes from our ancestors). And even on the Sabbath, you guys are down with circumcising a man.
If a dude gets circumcised on the Sabbath just to follow Moses’ law and not break it, why you hating on me for healing a guy completely on the Sabbath? Like, seriously?
Don’t judge based on appearances, but make fair judgments that are righteous.
So, some people from Jerusalem were like, ‘Yo, isn’t this the dude they’re trying to take out?’
This dude’s speaking his mind and nobody’s saying a word. Do the big shots even know that this is the real deal, the Messiah?
But we know where this dude’s from, but when Christ comes, nobody knows where he’s from.
So Jesus started shouting in the temple while teaching, like, ‘Fam, y’all know me and where I’m from. I ain’t just here on my own, the one who sent me is legit, but y’all don’t even know him.’
But I totally know him, ’cause I’m, like, literally from him, and he’s totally sent me.
So, they wanted to snatch him up, but no one actually did anything to him ’cause the timing wasn’t right yet, you know?
And a lot of people believed in him and were like, ‘When the Messiah shows up, will he pull off even crazier miracles than this dude here?’
So, the Pharisees heard that people were talking some stuff about him, you know? And then the Pharisees and the chief priests sent a squad to go and snatch him.
Jesus was like, ‘Hey guys, just letting you know, I’ll be here for a little longer and then I’m off to see the one who sent me.’
You’ll be searching for me, but won’t be able to find me. And where I am, you won’t be able to roll with me there, fam.
So, the Jewish peeps were like, where’s he gonna bounce to that we can’t track him? Is he gonna head to the scattered peeps from other nations and teach ’em?
Yo, what’s up with this whole thing he just said? He’s like, ‘You guys gonna be looking for me, but I won’t be around, and you won’t be able to join me wherever I’m at.’
On the ultimate day, during that lit feast, Jesus straight up stood and shouted, like, ‘Yo, if you’re thirsty AF, just come to me and take a sip, no cap.’
Yo, if you vibe with me like the scripture says, you’ll be flowing with mad positive vibes like a whole stream of living water coming out of your soul.
(But like, He was talking about the Spirit, that those who believe in Him would receive, you know? The Holy Ghost hadn’t been given yet, ’cause Jesus wasn’t glorified at that time.)
So like, a lot of people heard this and were like, ‘Yo, no cap, this gotta be the Prophet!’
Some people were like, ‘Yo, this is the real deal, the Christ.’ But others were like, ‘Hold up, how can the Christ come from Galilee tho? Like, for real?’
Yo, did the scripture not say that Christ comes from David’s bloodline, straight outta Bethlehem, where David himself was at?
So like, there was, like, a major split among the people ’cause of him.
So like, there were some people who wanted to catch him, but they didn’t actually grab him or anything.
So, like, the officers went up to the big shots, the chief priests and Pharisees, and they were all like, ‘Yo, why haven’t you brought him here yet?’
The officers were like, yo, no one talks as cool as this guy.
The Pharisees were like, ‘Wait, are y’all also fooled?’
Did any of the rulers or the Pharisees actually believe in him?
But these people who don’t even know the law, like, they’re totally cursed.
Nicodemus was like, ‘Yo, dudes, it was me who went to see Jesus at night, and I’m one of you guys too, just sayin’.
Like, does our law just like, judge someone without even like, hearing them out and knowing what they’ve actually done?
They were like, ‘Wait, are you like from Galilee too? Look it up for yourself, but like, no prophet ever comes from Galilee.’
And all the dudes went to their own crib.

John 8

Jesus hit up the chill spot on the mount of Olives.
So, like, early in the morning, he bounced back to the temple, and all the squad rolled up. Then he just kicked it, dropping knowledge bombs.
So, like, there were these scribes and Pharisees who brought this woman to Jesus ’cause she got caught in the act of adultery. And, get this, they put her right in the middle of everyone.
They were like, ‘Yo, dude, peep this! This chick got caught cheating!’
Aight, so according to Moses’ law, people like her should be stoned. But what’s your take on this?
They were just testing him, trying to trip him up. But Jesus was like, chill mode activated, doodling on the ground like it’s NBD.
So, like, when they kept bugging him, he kinda stood up and was like, ‘Listen up, fam! If any of you think you’re sinless, then go ahead, chuck the first stone at her, I guess.’
Then he dipped down again and started scribbling on the ground.
The crowd realized they messed up deep down, and one by one, they bounced, starting with the older peeps down to the younger ones. Eventually, it was just Jesus and the woman left.
When Jesus looked around and saw only the woman, he was like, ‘Yo, where’d your haters go? Ain’t nobody judging you now, right?’
She was like, ‘Nah, dude, no way.’ And Jesus was like, ‘Chill, I ain’t judging you either. Just bounce and steer clear of shady stuff, yeah?’
So, like, Jesus dropped some truth bombs, saying, ‘I’m the lit beacon in this world. Stick with me, and you won’t be lost in the dark; you’ll be living your best life.’
The Pharisees were like, ‘Um, you’re just hyping yourself, bro. Your proof ain’t legit.’
Jesus was like, ‘Even if I’m speaking for myself, what I’m saying is straight facts. I know where I’m from and where I’m going, but you cats got no clue.’
Y’all judge on surface stuff; I ain’t about that judgment life.
But if I gotta make a call, trust me, it’s on point: ’cause me and the big guy upstairs are synced.
According to your own law, two witnesses seal the deal, right?
I’m backing myself up, and the big guy who sent me co-signs too.
They were like, ‘Where’s your dad at?’ Jesus was like, ‘You don’t even know me or my old man. If you knew me, you’d know my dad too.’
Jesus dropped these truth bombs at the temple, but nobody tried to cancel him ’cause it wasn’t his time to go viral yet.
And Jesus was like, ‘Later, fam. Y’all gonna be searching for me, but you’ll be stuck in your mess and won’t be able to keep up.’
The Jews were like, ‘Is he gonna peace out? ‘Cause he’s saying we can’t follow where he’s going.’
And he was like, ‘Y’all from down here, but I’m from up there. You’re all about this world, but I ain’t even part of it, fam.’
So, like, I’m telling you straight up, if you don’t believe I am who I am, you’re gonna be stuck in your mess.
They were like, ‘Who are you?’ And Jesus was like, ‘I’m the one I’ve been telling you about from the start.’
Yo, I got a lot to spill and some judgments to drop, but the one who sent me is the real deal. I’m just passing on the truth from him to the world.
They didn’t get that he was talking about his old man.
Jesus was like, ‘Once you’ve lifted me up, you’ll see I’m not just doing my own thing. Everything I say comes straight from my old man’s playbook.’
And the one who sent me is totally vibing with me: the Father’s got my back; I’m always repping his agenda.
While he was speaking, a bunch of people started vibing with him.
So Jesus was like, ‘To all you squad who’re feeling me, if you stick with what I’m saying, then you’re really rolling with me.’
And you’ll be woke, knowing the truth, and that truth will set you free.
They were like, ‘We’re descendants of Abraham; we’ve never been slaves to anyone. So how you gonna set us free?’
Jesus was like, ‘Listen up, fam! Anyone doing shady stuff is basically a slave to that life.’
And the slave ain’t gonna stay forever, but the Son’s here for the long haul, for real.
So, like, if the Son sets you free, you’re totally free. No cap.
I know you rep Abraham’s crew, but you’re trying to take me down ’cause my words ain’t vibing with you.
I’m just dropping truth straight from my old man, while y’all doing the same from your own pops.
They were like, ‘Abraham’s our OG ancestor.’ Jesus was like, ‘If you were really about that Abraham life, you’d be living like him, doing righteous stuff and all.’
But seriously? You’re trying to off me? I’m just a regular dude keeping it real and speaking the truth straight from God. Abraham never pulled off anything like this, man.
You’re just following your old man’s lead. They were like, ‘We ain’t no illegitimate babies; we got one Dad, God.’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, if God was really your homie, you’d be down with me, ’cause I came from him and he sent me, not just doing my own thing.’
Bruh, why y’all not getting it? ‘Cause y’all ain’t even listening to me.
You’re like the devil, your true dad, doing his bidding. He’s been shady since forever, and he can’t handle the truth ’cause he’s all about lies. Every word out his mouth is just more lies, and he’s the master of it.
And, like, I’m keeping it real with you, but y’all ain’t even believing me. Can’t even.
Yo, can any of y’all prove I’ve done something wrong? And if I’m straight up telling the truth, why you not believing me?
If you’re really feeling God, you’d be all ears for what he’s saying. But if you’re not on that level, then you won’t hear his words. No shade, you’re just not on his wavelength, ya know?
The Jews were like, ‘Ain’t it true you’re a Samaritan possessed by a demon?’
Jesus was like, ‘Nah, dude, I ain’t got no devil taking over me. I’m all about showing love and respect for my Dad, but y’all? You’re just disrespecting me.’
And I’m not flexing for myself; there’s someone always watching and judging.
Tbh, listen up fam, if you’re all about my teachings, you won’t ever have to deal with death. No cap.
The Jews were like, ‘Dude, you must be possessed or something. Abraham and all the prophets are ancient history, and you’re saying if someone follows your words, they’ll never kick the bucket.’
Are you seriously trying to flex on our main man Abraham, who’s long gone? Like, all the prophets before you, they’re gone too. So, who do you think you are?
Jesus straight up said, ‘If I start flexing and hyping myself up, it’s worth nothing. It’s all about my Dad; he’s the one who gives me that legit honor. Y’all claim he’s your God, but you don’t even see that I’m connected to him like that.’
But honestly, you guys don’t really know him like I do. If I were to front like I don’t know him, I’d be straight up lying, just like y’all. But truth is, I know him inside out, and I’m staying true to his teachings.
Abraham’s old man was stoked to see my era; he totally saw it and was pumped.
The Jews were like, ‘Bro, you’re not even fifty yet, and you’re saying you saw Abraham? How’s that even possible?’
Jesus straight up told them, ‘I’m telling you the truth; even before Abraham was a thing, I existed.’
Then they tried to mob him, but Jesus played it smooth, slipped out of the temple, walked through the crowd, and dipped like a ninja.

John 9

So, Jesus was just strolling by when he peeped this dude who’d been blind since day one.
The squad, chill as ever, hit up Jesus like, ‘Yo, Master, whose fault is it that this dude’s blind? His parents messed up or what?’
Jesus drops knowledge, saying it ain’t about fault. It’s about showing off God’s dope power.
Got a hustle, doin’ what the big man sent me to do while it’s still daytime. Night’s comin’, can’t grind then.
Yo, long as I’m here, I’m the ultimate vibe-bringer, spreading light and positivity.
Then he’s like, ptoo, makes some clay with his spit, and slaps it on the dude’s eyes. Wild, right?
And he’s all, ‘Bro, hit up Siloam pool and wash off that clay.’ So dude goes, rinses, and bam! Can see again!
Neighbors and homies who knew him blind were like, ‘Yo, ain’t this the dude who used to beg?’
Some were like, ‘For real?’ Others, ‘Nah, looks like him.’ But he’s like, ‘Yup, it’s me.’
They’re like, ‘How’d you get your sight back, bro?’
Dude Jesus made clay, slapped it on my eyes, and was like, ‘Hit up Siloam.’ So I did, and bam! Vision restored!
They’re like, ‘Where’s this guy at?’ And he’s like, ‘No clue, fam.’
They drag the once-blind dude to the Pharisees.
It’s Sunday chillin’, Jesus vibin’, making clay, then bam! Dude can see.
Pharisees grill him again, ‘How’d you get sight back?’ He’s like, ‘Clay, rinse, sight.’
Some Pharisees are like, ‘This dude’s sus, breaking Sabbath.’ Others, ‘Can’t be bad if he’s pulling miracles.’ Split city.
They’re like, ‘Yo, blind dude, what’s the deal with the eye-opener?’ He’s like, ‘Prophet, yo.’
But Jews ain’t buying it, even with the sight-to-see story. Skeptics until they bring in his parents.
They’re like, ‘Is this your blind-from-birth son? How’d he see now?’
Parents like, ‘Yeah, that’s him. Blind from day one, swear.’
But clueless on the sight deal. ‘He’s old enough, ask him.’
They dodge, scared of the Jews, who’re kicking out anyone saying they’re the Christ.
‘He’s old enough, ask him,’ they say again.
They call the once-blind dude, ‘Give props to God, we know this guy’s a sinner.’
He’s like, ‘I dunno ’bout sin, but I was blind, now I see.’
They’re like, ‘Tell us again how this guy hooked you up.’
He’s like, ‘Told you already, but you deaf? Wanna be his fans?’
They diss, ‘You’re his fan, we’re Moses’ crew.’
‘Moses got the word,’ they say, ‘Who’s this dude?’
Mind blown! This guy changed everything, and we don’t even know where he’s from.
God hears the good, not the bad. Follow Him, He listens.
No one ever popped blind eyes like this, for real.
If he wasn’t God’s homie, couldn’t pull that off.
‘Born a sinner, who’re you to teach us?’ Kicked out. #excommunicated
Jesus tracks him down, ‘You believe in the Son of God?’
Dude’s like, ‘Who’s that? Tell me, I’m in.’
Jesus: ‘You seen Him, talking to you right now.’
‘I’m in, Lord,’ he says, showing mad respect, straight up worshipping.
Jesus drops wisdom, judgment’s here. Blind see, “seeing” ones blind.
Pharisees ask, ‘We blind too?’
Jesus: ‘If you were blind, cool. Claiming you see? Still accountable.’

John 10

Yo, listen up, fam! Let me drop some truth on ya: If someone ain’t coming through the door into the squad’s hangout but tries to sneak in some other way, they’re just a sneaky thief and a robber.
But the one who walks in through the door is like the ultimate goat wrangler.
The bouncer lets him in; and the squad hears his voice: and he hits up his own squad by name, and takes them out.
And when the squad leader leads his own squad, he goes ahead of them, and the squad follows him because they vibe with him.
And they ain’t following some rando; they’ll dip out instead, ’cause they don’t recognize their voice.
So Jesus was like, telling them this story, but they were clueless.
So, Jesus was like, ‘Listen up, fam, for real, I’m telling you, I’m the door for the squad.’
Like, everyone who came before me was just trying to steal and take advantage, but the true followers didn’t even give them the time of day.
Yo, I’m like the ultimate entrance, bro: if anyone steps through me, they’ll be saved and free to come and go, living their best life and finding amazing opportunities, no cap.
The thief isn’t here for anything good, only to snatch, wreck, and obliterate. But I’ve arrived to give them an epic life, one that’s overflowing with awesomeness.
I’m like the ultimate shepherd, you know? The best one out there. I would totally give up my life for my favorite sheep. #loyalty
But the one who’s just in it for the paycheck, and ain’t the real deal, doesn’t really care about the sheep. When danger comes lurking, they ditch the sheep and bolt, leaving them vulnerable to the wolf’s attack, and the sheep end up scattered all over the place.
The hired worker bounces because they’re just in it for the paycheck and couldn’t care less about the sheep.
Yo, I’m like the ultimate shepherd, you know? I totally vibe with my squad of cool, and they totally vibe with me too.
It’s like, the Father totally vibes with me, and I totally vibe with the Father, ya know? And, no biggie, but I’m willing to sacrifice myself for the sheep, like, I got their backs.
I have other squad members, not part of this crew. I gotta bring them too, and they’ll get to hear my voice. We gonna be one tight group, with one leader.
Yo, my Dad loves me so much ’cause I’m willing to sacrifice my life and then rise up again.
No one can take it away from me, but I choose to give it up willingly. I have the authority to give it up, and I have the authority to take it back. This is a command I received from my Father.
So, like, the Jews were all divided again because of what was being said.
And lots of people were like, ‘Dude’s possessed and totally bonkers; why are you even listening to him?’
Some people were like, ‘Nah, these ain’t the words of someone possessed. Like, can a demon actually make a blind person see again?’
So, in Jerusalem, it was party time for the dedication feast, and, yeah, you guessed it, it was winter season.
And Jesus was just chillin’ in the temple at Solomon’s porch.
So yeah, the Jews gathered around him and were like, ‘Dude, stop leaving us hanging. If you’re really the Christ, just say it straight up, no beating around the bush.’
Yo, like, I already told you, but you didn’t believe me: the awesome things I do in the name of my Dad totally prove that I’m legit.
But you don’t believe, ’cause you ain’t my fam, like I already told you.
Yo, my sheep be all ears for my voice, and I totally recognize ’em and they straight up follow me:
And I’m hooking them up with eternal life; they ain’t gonna disappear, and nobody can snatch them away from me.
My Dad who hooked me up is like, the ultimate boss; nobody can even think about snatching me away from him.
Me and Dad are like totally inseparable.
And then the Jews, like, picked up some stones to, like, throw at him.
Jesus was like, yo guys, I’ve been doing mad cool stuff straight from my pops. Which of those things are you trying to stone me for?
The Jewish peeps were like, ‘We ain’t about to stone you for being a good person, but because you’re claiming to be God when you’re just a regular human.’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, didn’t you guys read your law? It straight up says, I said, ‘You all are gods’.
If God referred to them as gods because they received the word of God, and the scripture can’t be messed with;
Are you seriously calling Him a blasphemer just because He claimed to be the Son of God, the one sent by the Father and set apart for a holy purpose?
If I’m not doing my Father’s work, then please don’t believe me.
But if I go ahead and do it, even if you don’t believe me, just check out the awesome stuff I’m gonna do: so you can see with your own eyes and believe that the Father is in me, and I’m in him.
So they tried once more to catch him, but he totally dodged them and got away unscathed.
Then Jesus dipped out, headed back across the Jordan to the spot where John first did his baptism thing, and he just chilled there for a while.
So, a bunch of people started hanging out with him and were like, ‘Yo, John didn’t do any crazy supernatural stuff or anything, but everything he said about this guy was totally legit.’
And a bunch of people started vibin’ with him right there.

John 11

Once upon a time, there was this guy named Lazarus, from Bethany, where Mary and her sis Martha lived. Lazarus was feeling under the weather.
(OMG, it was Mary who totally blessed the Lord with some epic ointment and used her hair to wipe his feet. BTW, her bro Lazarus was super sick at the time.)
So his sisters hit him up like, “Yo Lord, check it, the homie you’re tight with is feeling sick, man.”
When Jesus heard that, he was like, ‘Chill guys, this sickness ain’t gonna end in death. It’s all about showing off God’s glory, so that people will see how lit the Son of God is.’
Jesus was totally vibin’ with Martha, her sis, and Lazarus.
So, when he found out that his friend was sick, he stayed put in that exact spot for a couple of days.
And then he said to his squad, yo let’s head back to Judaea.
Yo, dude. The crew was like, ‘Yo, Master, those Jewish folks were just trying to stone you. Are you seriously gonna go back there?’
Jesus was like, yo, there’s like twelve hours in a day, you know? If someone’s walking around during the day, they won’t trip or anything, ’cause they can see what’s up in this world.
But like, if someone walks in the dark, they’ll totally trip and fall ’cause there’s, like, zero light inside them.
So, like, Jesus was all like, ‘Listen up guys, Lazarus is, you know, sleeping. But don’t worry, I’m gonna go wake him up from his snooze party.’
So the disciples were like, ‘Yo, dude, if he takes a nap, he’ll be chillin’.
But Jesus was actually talking about his own death, while they mistakenly thought he was just talking about catching some Z’s.
So Jesus was like, ‘Guys, let me be clear, Lazarus is actually dead.’
And I’m stoked for you all that I wasn’t there, so that you can believe. But let’s go to him anyway.
So Thomas, also known as Didymus, said to his homies, ‘Yo, let’s roll with Jesus and be down to ride or die with him.’
So, when Jesus showed up, he saw that the dude had been chillin’ in the grave for a solid four days.
So Bethany was pretty close to Jerusalem, about two miles away.
A bunch of Jewish peeps rolled up to Martha and Mary’s place, tryna give ’em some love and support ’cause their brother passed away.
When Martha found out that Jesus was coming, she immediately went out to meet him. But Mary stayed inside the house.
So like, Martha goes up to Jesus and she’s all like, ‘Yo Lord, if you were here, my bro wouldn’t have died, you know?’
But yo, I totally know that right now, no matter what you ask God for, God’s gonna hook you up, fam.
Jesus was like, ‘Don’t worry fam, your bro gonna come back to life’.
Martha’s like, ‘Yo, I know He’ll totally come back to life when the final day of resurrection arrives.’
Yo, Jesus straight up told her, ‘Listen up! I’m the whole package: resurrection and life. Anyone who puts their faith in me, even if they’re gone, will live on, no cap.’
And whoever stays true and believes in me will be forever alive. Do you believe this?
She’s like, yeah, dude: I totally believe that you’re the Messiah, the Son of God, who’s supposed to come into this world.
After saying that, she bounced and slid into Mary’s DMs, saying, ‘The homie’s here and wants to chat with you.’
When she found out, she got up right away and went to him.
So Jesus hadn’t actually arrived in the town yet, but was hanging out in the spot where Martha bumped into him.
The Jewish peeps who were chillin’ at Mary’s crib noticed that she bounced up real quick and left. They peeped her and decided to roll out too, saying she’s headin’ to the tomb to cry there.
So, like, when Mary finally arrived where Jesus was, and spotted him, she totally fell down at his feet and said to him, ‘OMG, dude, if you had just been here, my brother wouldn’t have died!’
So, like, when Jesus saw this girl crying, and the Jews who were with her crying too, he kinda felt it in his heart, man, like he got really worked up and bothered by it, you know?
And He was like, ‘Yo, where’d you guys put him?’ And they were like, ‘Dude, come check it out yourself, Lord.’
Jesus cried.
The Jews were like, yo, check out how much he was feelin’ for him!
So, like, some peeps were all like, yo, if this dude could totally make blind peeps see again, why couldn’t he have, like, prevented this other dude from dying, ya know?
So Jesus, like, totally came up to the grave and was like, ugh, let out a sigh or something. It was this cool cave, ya know, and there was a big rock on top of it.
Jesus was like, yo, move the stone. Then Martha, the sister of the dead dude, was all, like, Jesus, it’s too late, he’s already stinking, he’s been dead for, like, four whole days.
Jesus was like, ‘Didn’t I already tell you that if you had faith, you’d see how awesome God is?’
So, like, they removed the big stone from the spot where they put the dead guy. And Jesus looked up and said, ‘Yo, Father, I appreciate that you totally heard me.’
And I knew you always got my back, but I had to say it out loud for the peeps around, so they can trust that you sent me.
And like, he said it with so much power, shouting out at the top of his lungs: ‘Lazarus, come outta there!’
The person who was dead like, totally woke up and came out wrapped up in graveclothes with his hands and feet bound and a napkin covering his face. Jesus was like, ‘Unwrap him and set him free, yo!’
So, like, a bunch of Jews were hanging with Mary, and they saw all the amazing stuff that Jesus was doing, and then they totally believed in him.
But like, there were some people who went and spilled the tea to the Pharisees, totally snitching on Jesus and letting them know all the crazy stuff He had been up to.
So, like, the top priests and Pharisees got together, and they were all like, ‘What should we do about this guy? He’s, like, doing so many mind-blowing miracles!’
If we just leave him like that, everyone will vibe with him: and the Romans will come and snatch our spot and nation.
And this dude, Caiaphas, he was the high priest that year, and he straight up told them, ‘Y’all don’t know a thing!’
And like, think about it, right? It’s actually like, a good idea if one person takes the fall for the peeps instead of the entire crew getting messed up.
And he wasn’t just saying this on his own. As the high priest for that year, he actually predicted that Jesus would die for the entire nation.
And not just for that one group, but also to bring together all of God’s children who were scattered around.
So, like, from that day on, they like got together and, you know, started planning how to, like, um, yeah, eliminate him.
So Jesus didn’t really hang out with the Jews anymore, but instead he dipped to a nearby country close to the wilderness, to a city called Ephraim, and chilled there with his homies, the disciples.
The Jewish fam’s passover was coming up, and tons of people bounced out of their hometowns to head to Jerusalem and get themselves all cleansed before the big event.
So they started searching for Jesus and were talking amongst themselves, while hanging out at the temple like, ‘What do you guys think? Is he not gonna show up to the feast or what?’
So, like, the chief priests and the Pharisees, you know, they were all like, ‘If anyone knows where he is, like, spill the beans so we can, like, apprehend him.’

John 12

So, like, before the Passover vibes kicked off, Jesus rolls up to Bethany, where Lazarus was just chilling. You know, the dude Jesus straight up brought back to life.
So they threw him a lit dinner party, and Martha was the ultimate hostess, giving killer service. And guess what? Lazarus was right there, chilling at the table with them, making moves.
So, Mary pulls out this super expensive spikenard ointment, like, legit pricey, and she slathers it all on Jesus’ feet and even uses her hair to wipe ’em. The whole house was filled with the dope scent of that ointment.
And then this dude named Judas Iscariot, who was Simon’s homie, straight up decides to betray him.
Bro, why didn’t we sell this expensive ointment for like, three hundred bucks and give that money to those in need?
He said this not ’cause he actually cared about helping the less fortunate, but ’cause he was a sneaky thief who had control over the money bag and would take what people put in it.
And Jesus was like, yo, leave her alone. She came prepared for my burial and stuff.
You may always have the poor around, but I won’t be around forever.
So, like, word got out that Jesus was there and a bunch of Jewish peeps heard about it. And let me tell you, they weren’t just there for Jesus, but also to catch a glimpse of Lazarus, the dude Jesus straight-up brought back to life. Crazy, right?
So, like, the head priests were, like, totally discussing how they could, you know, straight-up eliminate Lazarus too, bruh.
So, like, lots of Jews started to bounce and actually believed in Jesus because of him, ya know.
The next day, a lot of people showed up for the feast, and when they found out that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem,
They grabbed palm tree branches and went out to meet him, shouting, ‘Hosanna! The King of Israel is coming in the name of the Lord, and he’s totally blessed!’
And Jesus, as he was scrolling through the app, came across a cool ride and hopped on it, just like the prophecy said,
Chill out, daughter of Sion: check it out, your King is coming, chilling on the back of a donkey’s baby.
So, like, the disciples didn’t really get it at first, you know? But then, when Jesus became super famous and stuff, they were like, ‘Whoa, wait! This is what was written about Him!’ And they were like, ‘Dude, we totally did all these amazing things for Him!’
So like, the squad that was with him when he straight up brought Lazarus back to life from the grave, they were all witnesses, you know?
That’s why the squad gathered around him, ’cause word got out that he pulled off this insane miracle.
Yo, did you see how the Pharisees were like, ‘Dude, we don’t stand a chance’? Like, everyone is totally following him now.
There were a few Greek dudes who rolled up to the festival to worship:
So this guy named Philip, who’s from Bethsaida in Galilee, comes up to Philip like, ‘Hey dude, we really wanna meet Jesus. Can you hook us up?’
Philip goes up to Andrew and tells him, and then Andrew and Philip go and tell Jesus.
And Jesus was like, yo, it’s about to go down. This is the moment when the Son of man is gonna be straight up glorified.
I’m telling you, for real, unless a little grain of wheat falls into the ground and calls it quits, it’s gonna stay by itself. But if it takes the plunge and says goodbye, it’s gonna bring out a whole bunch of good stuff.
If you’re all about yourself, you’ll end up losing everything; but if you’re not into this whole self-obsessed lifestyle, you’ll end up gaining something that lasts forever.
If anyone wants to be on my side, they gotta stick with me. Wherever I go, my loyal squad goes too. And yo, if anyone’s loyal to me, my pops will hook ’em up with some major respect.
Dude, my soul is seriously freaking out right now. I mean, like, what should I even say? Yo, Father, can you, like, totally save me from this intense moment? But, hey, I get it, this is why I’m here in the first place, for this very moment.
Yo, Dad, let your name shine bright. Suddenly, a dope voice from the heavens was like, ‘I’ve already shown mad respect to your name, and I’m about to do it all over again.’
So, like, the people who were there, you know, like, they heard this sound, and some of them were, like, ‘Oh, it’s just thunder.’ But then others were, like, ‘Dude, I think an angel was talking to him.’
Yo, Jesus was like, ‘Nah, this voice ain’t for me, it’s for all y’all benefiting from it.’
Right now, the world is about to face the consequences: the ruler of this world will soon be overthrown.
And yo, if I get hella famous and blow up, I’ll attract all the homies towards me.
He was basically saying how he would kick the bucket.
The peeps replied, like we’ve read the law and it’s clear that Christ sticks around forever, so why you sayin’ the Son of man gotta get lifted up? Like, who even is this Son of man?
Yo, Jesus was like, ‘Listen up, fam. The light ain’t gonna be here forever, so make the most of it while you can. Don’t wait ’til it’s too late and darkness creeps in, ’cause then you’ll be lost and clueless.
While you still have the opportunity, believe in the truth and strive to become true followers. Jesus said this and then left, choosing to keep himself hidden from them.
Even though he flexed so many epic miracles in front of them, they still didn’t believe in him, smh:
So, basically, Isaiah’s word came true when he was like, ‘Yo, Lord, who’s even gonna believe what we’re saying? And who’s gonna see how powerful the Lord is?’
So, like, they couldn’t believe ’cause Esaias said this, you know,
He made them totally clueless and gave them a heart of stone, so they can’t even see with their own eyes or get what’s going on in their heart. If they could turn around and change, I would totally heal them.
Esaias was talking about Jesus and how awesome He looked when he saw His glory.
Yo, even some important rulers were low-key into Him, but they didn’t want to admit it ’cause the Pharisees would kick them out of the synagogue. So, they kept it on the down low.
Because they were all about that clout from people, rather than that glory from God.
Jesus was like, crying and he was all like, bro, if you believe in me, you’re not just believing in me, but in the one who sent me, you know?
And anyone who peeps me, peeps the one who sent me, fam.
I’ve arrived, bringing some lit vibes to this world, so anyone who’s down to vibe with me won’t have to dwell in the endless darkness.
And if anyone listens to what I’m saying but doesn’t believe, I’m not here to judge them. My mission isn’t to judge the world, but to bring salvation to the world.
If someone straight up rejects me and doesn’t even listen to what I gotta say, they’re gonna have someone else judging them. The things I’ve said? Yeah, those things are gonna be the ones to judge ’em on the final day.
Yo, I ain’t just spittin’ my own words here. It’s the Father who sent me, He’s the one who gave me the lowdown on what to say and how to say it, no cap.
And I know that when he says something, it’s gonna lead to an epic life for sure. So, whatever I say, it’s straight from the Father, just like he told me. No cap.

John 13

So, like, just before the passover feast, Jesus knew it was time to bounce from this world and go back to the Big Guy. He had mad love for his crew who were just vibin’ in the world, and he loved them to the max.
And after grubbin’, the devil was totally messin’ with Judas Iscariot, Simon’s buddy, and convinced him to snake Jesus.
Jesus, totally aware that the Big Guy had put everything in his hands, knowing he came from God and was heading back;
He got up from grubbin’, stripped down, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around himself.
Then he pours water into a bowl and starts washing his crew’s feet, drying them off with the towel wrapped around his waist.
So Jesus rolls up to Simon Peter and Peter’s like, ‘Dude, seriously, you’re gonna wash my feet?’
Jesus was like, ‘Bro, you don’t get it now, but you will later.’
Peter’s like, ‘Nah, Jesus, skip my feet!’ But Jesus is like, ‘Bro, if I don’t clean you up, we can’t be tight.’
Simon Peter’s like, ‘Yo, Lord, wash not just my feet, but also my hands and head.’
Jesus is like, dude, if you’ve already showered, you don’t need a full scrub, just your feet and you’re good. Like, you’re already clean, but not all of you, ya dig?
‘Cause he knew who would sell him out, he said, ‘Y’all ain’t all innocent.’
So, like, after he finished washing their feet, changed, and sat back down, he was like, ‘Do y’all even get what I just did for you?’
Y’all call me Master and Lord, and I gotta say, you’re on point! ‘Cause, like, that’s exactly what I am, no cap.
So, like, if I, your total boss, show you how it’s done by washing your feet, then y’all better be washing each other’s feet too.
Yo, I’ve set the bar for you, so you should hook others up just like I did for you.
Honestly, I’m telling you, a servant isn’t higher up than their boss; and the one who’s sent out isn’t higher up than the one who sent them.
If you’re on top of these things, you’re gonna be stoked if you actually follow through with them.
Not gonna lie, I’m not talking about all of you. I know who I’ve chosen, but this is all going down so that the prophecy can be fulfilled. Yeah, the one who’s been chowing down with me is actually gonna betray me. Can you believe that?
This is a heads up, so when it goes down, you can trust that it’s me. Just making sure you’re in the know.
Honestly, I’m telling you, if you accept anyone I send your way, it’s like accepting me. And when you accept me, you’re accepting the one who sent me.
After Jesus said this, he felt really down and was like, ‘No joke, I’m telling you, one of you is gonna betray me.’
So like, the disciples were all looking at each other, confused af about who Jesus was talking about.
So like, there was this one dude from Jesus’ squad, chillin’ like by Jesus’ side, who Jesus totally had mad love for.
So Simon Peter like gestured to him, telling him to ask who Jesus was talking about.
As he was chillin’ next to Jesus, he straight up asked him, ‘Yo, bro, who’s the one?’
Jesus was like, ‘Yeah, the one I give this tasty piece of food to after dipping it, that’s the guy.’ So, Jesus dipped the food and gave it to Judas Iscariot, who was Simon’s son. (By the way, ‘sop’ means a yummy morsel.)
And after sharing some food, Satan took control of him. Then Jesus said to him, ‘If you’re gonna do it, just do it already.’
None of the squad at the table had a clue why he was saying this to him.
Some of them were thinking that because Judas was in charge of the money, Jesus told him to buy what we needed for the feast or give something to the poor.
After receiving the snack, he swiftly left the scene because it was already dark.
So, like, Jesus was talking and stuff, and he was like, ‘Now that I’m out here, the Son of man is getting mad famous, and God is getting even more famous because of me.’
If God receives major respect from that person, God will also give major respect to that person, and will immediately give major respect to that person.
Hey, kiddos, I’ll be hanging out with you for just a bit longer. You’re gonna look for me, but like I told those Jewish peeps, you can’t come where I’m headed. So, same goes for you now.
Yo, listen up fam, I got a fresh command for you: Show love to each other, just like I’ve shown love to you. Spread that love around, man.
This is how everyone will know that you’re my squad, if you show love and support for one another.
Simon Peter was like, ‘Yo, where you headed, Lord?’ And Jesus responded, ‘Bro, where I’m going, you can’t come with me right now. But don’t worry, later on you’ll be able to follow me.’
Peter was like, ‘Yo, Lord, why can’t I roll with you right now? I’m down to give up my life for you, fam.’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, you really think you’d be down to sacrifice your life for me?’ For real, for real, I’m telling you, that rooster won’t even start crowing until you’ve denied knowing me three times.

John 14

Chill, fam: if you’re vibing with God, you can vibe with me too.
Yo, in my pops’ place, there are some sick pads: for real, if it wasn’t true, I’d straight up tell you. I’m gonna hook you up with a spot, fam.
And like, if I dip and sort out a place for you, I’ll totally come back and bring you to my crib; so you can chill where I’m at too, you know?
And like, you already know where I’m going and how to get there.
Thomas was like, bro, we have no clue where you’re going; how are we supposed to find the way?
Jesus was like, ‘Listen up, I’m the real deal. I’m the way, the truth, and the life. No one can connect with the Father except through me.
If you knew me, you would’ve known my pops too. And now, you know him and have seen him.
Yo, Philip was like, ‘Yo Lord, can you bless us with a peek at the Father? That would be dope, man.’
Jesus was like, ‘Bro, I’ve been with you for so long and you still don’t get me, Philip? If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father. So why you asking to see the Father?’
Don’t you get that me and the Father are tight? The stuff I’m telling you isn’t just from me, but from the Father who’s with me, making things happen.
Listen up fam, know that I’m one with the Father, and the Father’s one with me. If not, just peep all the cool stuff I’m doing and believe that way.
Seriously, if you’re down with me, you’ll do the same cool stuff I do, and even more; ’cause I’m bouncing back to my pops.
And whatever you ask for in my name, I got you, so that my pops gets all the glory through me.
If you ask for anything in my name, consider it done.
If you’re about me, then stay loyal and do what I ask.
And I’ll ask the Father, and he’ll hook you up with another Homie, so they can vibe with you forever.
The Spirit of truth, ya know? The world can’t handle it ’cause they can’t see or understand it like you can. But you? You’re on another level. It’s cool with you and gonna be inside of you, no cap.
I got you, fam. No need to stress. I’m coming through for you.
In just a bit, the world won’t see me anymore, but you will: ’cause I’m alive, and you’ll be too, fam.
On that day, you’ll finally get that I’m in my pops, and you’re in me, and I’m in you.
If you’re down with my rules and actually follow ’em, then you’re showing love for me. And if you love me, my pops will love you too. I’ll show you love as well and make my presence known to you, no doubt.
Judas, not the shady one, asks Jesus, ‘Yo, Lord, how you gonna show yourself to us but not to the whole world?’
Jesus straight up told him, if you love me, you gotta walk the talk and do what I say. And if you do that, my pops will love you, and we’ll chill with you, like make our crib with you.
If you don’t vibe with me, you ain’t gonna follow my words. Just so you know, the things you hear me say ain’t even from me, but straight from the Father who sent me.
I’ve shared these things with you while being here and all.
Yo, peep this: once Jesus was like, ‘Hey y’all, listen up! The Holy Ghost, aka the ultimate Comforter, is gonna come to you straight from the Father. And guess what? He’s got your back! He’s gonna teach you everything and remind you of all the cool stuff I said to you before. No cap!
I’m leaving you with peace, straight from me to you. Not like the shallow peace that the world offers. So don’t stress out or be scared, bro.
So, like, you’ve probs heard me saying that I’m gonna bounce and then come back to you fam. If you really loved me, you’d be stoked, ’cause I’m heading to the Father, who’s actually way more boss than me.
And now I’ve already told you about this happening beforehand, so that when it goes down, you’ll believe it.
I won’t chat with you a lot from now on: ’cause the ruler of this world is gonna show up, but don’t worry, he’s got nothing on me.
So that everyone knows I’m all about my pops, just doing exactly what He told me to. Alright, let’s bounce now!

John 15

Yo, peeps, I’m like the legit vine, and my Pops totally knows how to grow stuff.
If any of y’all branches chillin’ on me don’t bring forth fruit, I’m gonna have to cut ’em off. But the branches that actually do produce fruit, I’m gonna clean ’em up so they can bring even more fruit.
Yo, y’all are like pure AF ’cause of the words I dropped on ya.
Stay linked with me and I’ll stay linked with you. Just like a branch can’t produce fruit solo unless it stays linked to the vine, you won’t be able to do much without staying linked to me.
I’m the main sauce, you’re the side kicks: If you stick with me and I with you, you’ll produce a ton of goodness. ‘Cause without me, you won’t achieve anything worthwhile.
If someone doesn’t stick with me, they’re tossed out like a dried-up branch, and peeps just toss ’em into the fire to burn.
If you’re vibin’ with me and my words are vibin’ with you, you can ask for whatever you want and it’s gonna happen, no cap.
This is how my Pops gets all the props – when you’re out there grinding and making things happen. That’s when you prove you’re on my squad, no doubt.
Just like how the Father is all about love for me, I’m totally about spreading the love for you too: just keep on embracing the love I have for you.
If you stay loyal to my rules, you’ll stay in my good vibes, just like I stay loyal to my pops’ rules and stay in his good vibes.
I’m telling you all this so that my happiness can stick with you and you can experience ultimate joy.
Yo, listen up! Here’s the deal: Love each other, just like I love you. That’s my ulti-rule.
There’s no greater love than when someone puts their life on the line for their homies.
You’re like, totally my squad, if you do everything I tell ya.
From now on, I don’t call you servants anymore; a servant doesn’t know what their boss is up to. Instead, I call you friends because I’ve shared everything I’ve learned from my Pops with you.
You didn’t choose me, but I chose you and gave you a purpose. I want you to go out and make a positive impact that lasts. And when you pray to God using my name, he’ll give you what you ask for.
I’m telling you this, so you can show some love to each other, you feel me?
If the world be dissing you, yo, you know it was dissing me first before it dissed you.
If you were all about that mainstream life, hanging with the crowd, the crowd would be all like ‘yeah, we vibe with you, fam.’ But because you’re not about that basic life, I chose to bring you out of that lifestyle. So, it’s no surprise that the world hates on you, cuz you’re on a different wavelength, doing your thing.
Yo, don’t forget what I told you, bruh. A servant doesn’t rank higher than his boss. If people gave me a hard time, best believe they’ll give you a hard time too. And if they paid attention to what I had to say, they’ll listen to you too, no doubt.
But they’ll totally throw all these things at you just ’cause you’re repping my name. They’re clueless about the one who sent me, though. Smh.
If I didn’t show up and talk to them, they wouldn’t be responsible for their wrongdoings: but now they can’t make excuses anymore.
If someone despises me, they’re despising my Pops too.
Yo, If I hadn’t done these amazing things that nobody else ever did in front of them, they wouldn’t have been guilty of sinning. But now they’ve seen it all and straight up despise both me and my Pops.
But like, this is happening so that what was written in their law can be, like, fulfilled, ya know? It says, ‘They totally hated me for no reason’.
But when the real OG comes, who I’m gonna send your way from the big man upstairs, the Spirit of truth, who’s rollin’ with the Father, he’s gonna vouch for me:
And you guys gonna flex too, ’cause you’ve been rollin’ with me since day one.

John 16

Yo, I’m just laying it out so you don’t go all triggered or start trippin’, you feel me? Like, I don’t want you feeling shook or thrown off by what I’m spitting.
They’ll straight up ban you from the holy spots, man. Yeah, there’s gonna be a time when whoever takes you out will think they’re doing God a solid.
And, like, they’ll do all that ’cause they don’t even know the Father and are clueless about me, you dig?
But yo, I just gotta give you the lowdown so when it goes down, you’ll be like, ‘Yeah, Jesus totally called it!’ Oh, and BTW, I didn’t drop this knowledge earlier ’cause, well, I was actually chilling with y’all in the flesh back then.
But now I’m peacing out, heading back to the one who sent me. And none of you even bother to ask where I’m going, like, for real?
But yo, ever since I dropped these truth bombs, sadness has been creeping into your vibe.
But listen up, squad, I gotta keep it 100 with you: it’s actually gonna be lit for y’all if I bounce. See, if I stick around, the Holy Spirit won’t be able to link up with you. But hey, once I dip, I’ll make sure to send Him your way.
And when he rolls through, he’s gonna call out the whole world for being off track in the sin game, and he’ll set things straight with righteousness and judgment.
It’s all about that sin, ’cause they straight up don’t believe in me;
It’s all about being righteous, you vibe with that? I’m about to bounce and reunite with my Father, and y’all won’t be able to catch a glimpse of me no more.
About judgment, ’cause the big boss of this world is totally judged.
Guys, I’ve got a lot more to spill, but I know you can’t handle it right now.
When the Spirit of truth shows up, they’ll hook you up with all the legit knowledge. They won’t even be all about themselves. They’ll only speak what they hear and even clue you in on what’s coming in the future.
He’s gonna make me look fly: ’cause he’s gonna take what’s mine and flex it to y’all.
I’ve got everything that my OG dad has, so that’s why I’m saying he’s gonna take what’s mine and flex it to you.
Okay, listen up fam, in a sec you won’t spot me around, but hold up, in just a bit, you’ll catch a glimpse of me again ’cause I’m heading back to the Father’s pad.
So, like, a few of his homies were talking and wondering what he meant when he said, ‘In a little while, you won’t see me, but then in just a little while, you’ll see me again.’ And he mentioned something about going to the Father.
So they were like, umm, what is he even saying? ‘A little while’? We totally don’t get it.
Jesus already knew they wanted to ask him, so he said to them, ‘Are you all wondering about what I said, like, when I mentioned that soon you won’t see me for a bit, but then after that, you’ll totally see me again?’
I’m telling you this for real – you’re gonna cry and feel down, while everyone else is gonna be celebrating. You’ll be feeling sad, but don’t trip, ’cause your sadness will eventually turn into happiness.
When a girl is going through some serious labor pains, it’s no joke. She’s got a lot of sorrow because the time has finally come. But once that baby is out and in the world, all that pain is way in the back of her mind. She’s too stoked ’cause a new human just joined the party!
So right now you’re feeling all down and sad, but don’t stress, I’ll be back to hype you up and make your heart full of joy again. And let me tell you, no one can ever snatch that joy away from you.
And on that day, you won’t have any questions for me. Seriously, I’m telling you, whatever you ask the Father in my name, He’ll hook you up with it.
Up until now, you haven’t really asked me for anything in my name. But now I’m telling you, go ahead and ask for whatever you need, and you’ll get it. This way, your happiness will be off the charts!
I’ve been using some deep sayings to talk to you, but there’s gonna come a time when I won’t be all cryptic anymore and I’ll straight up show you what the Father’s all about.
On that day, you can hit me up and ask for anything in my name. And yo, I ain’t gonna front, I don’t need to ask the Father on your behalf. It’s like we tight like that, fam.
The big man up there loves y’all ’cause y’all loved me and believed that I’m straight from the man upstairs.
I bounced out of the Father, and now I’m in this world: but hold up, soon I’m dipping out of this world and heading back to the Father.
His squad was like, ‘Yo, you’re being mad clear right now, no more cryptic talk.’
We’re totally convinced that you know everything and don’t even need anyone to ask you questions. This makes us believe that you totally came from God.
Jesus was like, ‘You really think you believe now?’
Listen up, it’s about to go down. Yup, the time has arrived, like right now, when all of you will go your separate ways, each to your own place, and leave me hanging alone. But guess what? Even though I’ll be by myself, I won’t actually be alone ’cause my pops will be right there with me. Oh, and by the way, ‘his own’ means their own homes.
Yo, fam, I’m just dropping some truth bombs on you so you can find peace with me. Don’t front, though, ’cause life ain’t gonna be all rainbow and butterflies. It’s gonna throw some tribulations your way. But check it, don’t stress, ’cause I’ve straight up conquered this world.

John 17

So, Jesus was like, dropping these words, and then he looked up to heaven, and he was like, “Yo, Father, it’s time to shine! Let’s put the spotlight on your boy, so your boy can do the same for you:”
Like, you hooked him up with mad power over all humans, so he can hook ’em up with eternal life, you know? Only the ones you’ve given him, though.
And here’s the deal for living our best lives ever, that we can vibe with you, the one and only legit God, and Jesus Christ, the epic Son you sent our way.
I’ve totally rocked your name on this Earth: I’ve aced the missions you gave me!
Yo, Father, pass me some divine glory like we had back in the day, before the whole world existed.
I put your name out there to the crew you gave me from the world. They were already yours, and you handed them over to me. They’ve stayed true to your word, fam.
Now they get it that everything you gave me comes from you.
I’ve passed on the message you gave me to them, and they’ve totally digested it and know for sure that I’m from you. Plus, they believe that you sent me.
I’m sending good vibes for them: not for everyone out there, but specifically for those you’ve entrusted to me; they’re all yours, fam.
All my stuff is yours, and all your stuff is mine; and I’m totally shining through them.
And now I’m about to bounce from this place, but my homies are still here. I’m coming to you, Holy Father. Please look out for those you’ve entrusted to me, so we can stay tight, just like we are.
While I was chilling with them in the world, I always had their backs in your name: the squad that you gave me, I held it down and didn’t lose anyone, except for that one betrayer; all part of the plan, just like the prophecy said.
Yo, now I’m coming to you, and I’m spitting some truth so they can feel the ultimate joy that’s coming straight from me, deep into their souls.
I’ve shared your word with them, but the world straight-up hates them, ’cause they’re not like everyone else. Just like how I’m not part of this whole world scene either.
I’m not asking you to pull them out of the scene, but to shield them from all the negativity.
They don’t vibe with this world, just like I don’t vibe with this world.
Make them holy by showing them what’s really real: Your word is the raw, unfiltered truth.
Just like you sent me into the world, I’m sending them into the world too.
And for their sake, I’ve set myself apart, so they can also be set apart by living in truth.
I’m not just praying for these peeps, but also for those who will believe in me because of their words, you feel?
So that everyone can vibe together, just like how you, God, are within me and I’m in you, we want everyone to be united with us. This unity will show the world that you really sent me.
And the respect and recognition you gave me, I’ve passed it on to them; so they can be tight AF, just like we’re tight AF:
I’m a part of them, and you’re a part of me, so they can be totally united; and so the whole world knows that you sent me, and that you love them just as much as you love me.
Yo, Dad, I’m vibing with the idea that the squad you’ve blessed me with should roll with me wherever I go. That way, they can experience the epicness you’ve blessed me with. You’ve had love for me since way before the world even existed.
Yo, righteous Father, the world has no clue about you, but I’m in the know, and my squad knows that you sent me.
And I’ve totally let them in on your name, and I’ll keep on letting them know, so that the same love you’ve shown me can be in them, and I can be in them too.

John 18

So, after Jesus dropped those bars, he and his squad bounced to the Cedron stream. There was this lit garden on the flip side, so they all rolled up. Yolo!
Even Judas, the one who snaked him, knew exactly where they were rolling. Jesus used to vibe there often with his squad.
So, Judas, you know, he rounded up this crew of people and some officers from the chief priests and Pharisees, and they all showed up at the spot with flashlights, torches, and weapons.
So like, Jesus already had the 411 on everything that was gonna go down, right? And then he, like, stepped forward and was like, ‘Yo, who are you guys looking for?’
They were like, ‘It’s Jesus of Nazareth.’ And Jesus was like, ‘Yeah, that’s me.’ Oh, and Judas, the one who did him dirty, was right there with them.
And like, the moment he was like, ‘Yeah, it’s me,’ they all freaked out and, like, straight up hit the ground.
He asked them again, ‘Who are you looking for?’ And they were like, ‘Jesus from Nazareth, duh.’
Jesus was like, I already told you that I’m the one you’re looking for. So, if you want to find me, just let these people bounce.
So that what he said would come true, like he said: I didn’t lose any of the homies you gave me.
So Peter, strapped with a sword, whipped it out and sliced off the right ear of the high priest’s servant, whose name was Malchus.
Jesus told Peter, bro, chill with the sword and put it back in its sheath. Like, my Dad laid out this whole scenario, so should I not roll with it?
So, like, the whole crew of the Jews, along with their captain and officers, they nabbed Jesus and tied him up, you know?
Then they took him to Annas first, because he was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, who was the high priest that year. And Annas sent Jesus, all tied up, to Caiaphas the high priest.
So, like, there was this dude named Caiaphas, and he was all about telling the Jews that it was, like, totally smart to sacrifice one guy for the sake of the people.
So Simon Peter was like, ‘Yo, I’m rolling with Jesus,’ and then there was this other follower who was tight with the high priest, and he tagged along with Jesus into the high priest’s crib.
But Peter stayed outside by the door. Then the other disciple, who was friends with the high priest, came out and talked to the person guarding the door, and let Peter in.
The girl at the door asked Peter, ‘Aren’t you one of this guy’s followers too?’ And he was like, ‘Nah, not me.’
And there were these guys, the servants and the officers, just chilling by the cozy fire they made ’cause it was freezing outside. They were all trying to warm up, you know? And then there’s Peter, standing with them, trying to warm himself up too.
The high priest was like, yo Jesus, tell me about your squad and what you’re teaching.
Yo, Jesus was like, listen up, bro! I didn’t hold back nothing when I was preaching. I dropped truth bombs for everyone to hear. I was teaching in the synagogue, at the temple, where all the Jewish peeps gather. And just FYI, I ain’t keeping no secret messages on the down-low.
Why are you asking me? Ask the people who heard me what I said. They know what I said, dude.
And like, after he said that, one of the cops who was standing there totally smacked Jesus across the face, and was like, ‘You gonna talk back to the high priest, bro?’
Jesus replied, if I said something bad, then point it out; but if I spoke the truth, why are you hitting me?
So like, Annas sent him all tied up to Caiaphas the high priest.
And Simon Peter was chilling by the fire. They were like, ‘Yo, aren’t you one of his followers?’ He was like, ‘Nah, not me.’
So, like, this dude who was like related to the high priest’s crew, like totally noticed that Peter, you know, the one who chopped off his ear, was chilling in the garden with Jesus, no cap?
Peter straight up denied again, and then the chicken started making noise.
So they took Jesus from Caiaphas to Pilate’s crib for judgment. It was way too early, and they didn’t enter the crib because they didn’t want to get messed up, you know? They wanted to keep themselves clean for the passover feast.
So Pilate came out to them and was like, ‘Yo, what’s the charge y’all got against this dude?’
They were like, ‘If he wasn’t a total troublemaker, we wouldn’t have handed him over to you, dude.’
So Pilate was like, ‘Alright, you guys take him and do whatever your laws say.’ Then the Jews were like, ‘Uh, sorry, but we can’t execute anyone ourselves.’
So that what Jesus said would come true, you know? He totally predicted how he was gonna die and all.
So, Pilate goes back into the judgment hall, calls Jesus over and straight up asks Him, ‘Yo, bro, you claimin’ to be the King of the Jews or what?’
Yo, did you come up with that question on your own or did someone else fill you in about me?
Pilate was like, ‘Uhh, am I even a Jew? Your own people and the religious leaders handed you over to me. So, like, what did you even do?’
Jesus said, Yo, my kingdom ain’t from this world, fam. If it was, you know my squad would be throwin’ down to save me from the Jews. But nah, my kingdom ain’t from here, yo.
So Pilate was like, are you saying you’re a king or what? And Jesus was like, yep, you got it. I was born for this, to bring the truth to the world. Anyone who’s all about the truth listens up when I speak.
Pilate was like, ‘Yo, what’s truth?’ Then he dipped out and went back to the Jews, and was like, ‘I gotta be real, this guy did nothing wrong.’
But you guys have this thing where I gotta let one person go during passover. So, do y’all want me to let go of the King of the Jews or what?
And everyone shouted once more, saying, Not this dude, but Barabbas. By the way, Barabbas was a total outlaw.

John 19

So, Pilate totally grabbed Jesus and whipped him, you know?
Then the soldiers hooked him up with a crown made out of thorns and threw a dope purple robe on him.
And they were like, ‘Yo, what’s up, King of the Jews!’ and then they straight up smacked him.
So Pilate bounced out again and told them, ‘I’m bringing him out so you can see I ain’t seeing anything wrong here.’
Jesus stepped up, rocking the thorns and that sick purple robe. And Pilate was like, yo, check out this dude!
When the main priests and crew saw him, they were like, ‘Nail him, nail him!’ Pilate was like, ‘You do it, ’cause I ain’t finding any dirt on him.’
The Jews were like, ‘According to our law, he deserves to be taken out ’cause he straight up said he’s God’s Son.’
When Pilate heard that, he got even more shook;
So Jesus went back inside where they were questioning him, and this guy asked him where he’s from. But Jesus kept quiet, man.
Pilate was like, ‘You not gonna say anything to me? Don’t you know I got the power to put you on the cross or set you free?’
Jesus was like, you wouldn’t even have power over me unless it was given from above, you know? So, the one who handed me over to you is committing the bigger sin, man.
And from then on, Pilate really wanted to set him free: but the Jews were like, ‘If you let this dude go, you’re no friend of Caesar, ’cause anyone who claims to be a king is disrespecting Caesar.’
So when Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and took a seat on the judgment throne in a spot called the Pavement, but in Hebrew, it’s called Gabbatha.
So it was time for Passover, around noon-ish. And he says to the Jewish people, like, your King is right here!
But they were like, ugh, get rid of him, get rid of him, crucify him. Then Pilate was all like, seriously? Should I really crucify your so-called King? And the chief priests were like, nah fam, we only acknowledge Caesar as our king.
So he gave Jesus over to them to be crucified. And they took Jesus and led him away.
And he, carrying his cross, went to this spot called the Skull Place, also known as Golgotha in Hebrew:
They nailed him on a cross, with two others on each side, and Jesus in the middle.
So Pilate made a caption and hung it on the cross. The words on it said, ‘JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS.’
Lots of Jewish people saw this sign because Jesus was crucified close to the city, and it was written in Hebrew, Greek, and Latin.
So, like, the top priests of the Jews told Pilate not to write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but instead to write that he claimed, ‘I’m the King of the Jews.’
Pilate was like, what I just wrote is what I wrote, you know.
So, like, once Jesus was crucified, the soldiers snagged his clothes and split them into four parts, giving each soldier a piece. Oh, and they didn’t forget about his super cool seamless coat—it was woven all in one piece. #Impressive
So, like, the soldiers were all like, ‘Yo, let’s not tear this thing into pieces. Instead, let’s play a game to see who gets it.’ They were tryna make that prophecy come true, the one that says, ‘They split my clothes among themselves and gambled for my robe.’ So yeah, the soldiers went ahead and did all that.
So, like, right next to the cross of Jesus, there were his mom, his mom’s sister, Mary who’s married to Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. (By the way, Cleophas is also known as Clopas.)
So, like, when Jesus saw his mom and the homie disciple he really liked standing there, he was all like, ‘Yo, Mom! Check out your new son!’
And he said to the friend, like check it out, that’s your mom! And from that moment, the friend brought her to his crib.
After this, Jesus, like, totally aware that everything was like, completed, so that the scripture would be, you know, fulfilled, was like, ‘Yo, I’m thirsty.’
So there was this container filled with vinegar, and they took a sponge soaked in vinegar, placed it on some hyssop, and held it up to his mouth.
So when Jesus finally got the vinegar, he was like, ‘It’s all done, fam.’ Then he lowered his head and peace’d out.
So, like, the Jews were, you know, doing their thing on the day before Sabbath, and they were all like, ‘Yo, Pilate, can you please break their legs so they can be taken off the cross before the Sabbath starts?’ ‘Cause this Sabbath was like a super important one, you feel me?
And then the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first guy and the other dude who was getting nailed to the cross.
But when they approached Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they didn’t break his legs:
Then this soldier straight up stabbed his side with a spear, and boom, out came blood and water like whoosh!
And the person who witnessed it gave a legit testimony, and their testimony is straight up facts: they know that what they’re saying is true, so that you can believe it.
These things happened so that what the scripture said would come true: Not a single bone of his would be broken.
And like, another scripture be like, yo, they gonna check out the dude they totally stabbed.
So, like, Joseph of Arimathaea was totally a follower of Jesus, but he had to keep it on the DL because he was scared of the Jews, you know? Anyway, he went up to Pilate and asked if he could take Jesus’ body, and Pilate was like, ‘Yeah, go ahead, dude.’ So Joseph went and took Jesus’ body.
Then Nicodemus showed up too, you know, the one who secretly visited Jesus at night. He came bearing a whopping hundred-pound mix of myrrh and aloes.
So they took Jesus’ body and wrapped it in linen clothes with spices, just like the Jewish tradition of burying.
Yo, where Jesus got nailed on the cross, there was this lit garden. And in the garden, there was a brand new burial spot, no one had ever been put there before.
So they put Jesus there because it was the Jews’ preparation day, and the tomb was close by.

John 20

So, on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene was up mad early, even before the sun cracked the sky, at the tomb. And guess what? She peeped that the stone was rolled away from the tomb!
So, she starts hauling it towards Simon Peter and the other disciple, Jesus’ ride-or-die, and she’s like, ‘Guys, they’ve snatched the Lord from the tomb and we have no clue where they put him!’
So Peter and the other disciple were like, ‘Bet,’ and bounced to the tomb.
So they both started booking it: and the other disciple, like, totally smoked Peter and, like, got to the tomb first.
So, like, he stooped down and scoped inside, and peeped the linen clothes just chilling there; but, you know, he didn’t go in or nothing.
So Simon Peter catches up, right behind, and he steps into the tomb, and checks out the linen clothes just laying there,
And the napkin, that was like, around his head, not mixed in with the linen clothes, but all neat and folded in its own spot.
So the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, went in too and he saw what was up, and it hit him like a lightning bolt. He was all in!
Because, like, at that time they were totally clueless about the whole scripture thing, you know? They hadn’t clocked that it was, like, a no-brainer that he had to bounce back after being dead.
After that, the crew dipped back to their spot.
So, like, Mary was just posted outside the tomb, totally wrecked and bawling her eyes out. She couldn’t hold back her tears, yo. And then, she got down on her knees and peeped into the tomb, you know?
And wow, there were two angels iced out in all white, posted up – one at the head, and the other at the feet, where Jesus’ body had been chilling.
And they’re like, ‘Yo, why you crying, girl?’ Then she’s like, ‘Duh, they took my Lord and I have no idea where they put him.’
So, like, she said this and then she looked back and saw Jesus standing there, but she didn’t even know it was Jesus.
Jesus was like, ‘Hey girl, why are you crying? Who you looking for?’ She thought he was the gardener and said, ‘Sir, if you took him somewhere, just tell me where he is and I’ll handle it.’
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, Mary.’ And Mary was like, ‘Sup, Rabboni!’ Which means ‘Master’.
Jesus says to her, Don’t touch me yet; I haven’t bounced up to my Dad yet. But go tell my squad that I’m heading up to my Dad, who is also your Dad, and my God, who is also your God.
So Mary Magdalene slid to the squad and was like, ‘Guys, I just saw the Lord and he was chatting with me and stuff.’
So, later that day, it was like Sunday, and the disciples were posted up together behind locked doors ’cause they were shook of the Jews. Then Jesus popped up outta nowhere, right in the mix, and was like, ‘Hey, guys! Chill!’
And like, after he said that, he showed his hands and side to them. And then the disciples were hyped when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them once more, Hey, chill guys! Just like my Dad sent me, I’m sending you too.
And like, after saying this, he was like, breathing on them and stuff, and he said to them, ‘Yo, take in the Holy Ghost, man:’
If you forgive someone’s wrongs, they’re forgiven; and if you hold onto someone’s wrongs, they ain’t forgiven.
Yo, Thomas, one of the twelve squad, also known as Didymus, wasn’t vibing with them when Jesus pulled up.
The other homies were like, ‘Yo, we saw the Lord!’ But he was all, ‘Nah, I need to see his hands with those nail marks and stick my finger in ’em, and even put my hand in his side, or I ain’t gonna believe.’
And, like, eight days later, his squad was all gathered up again, including Thomas, ya know? And then Jesus suddenly showed up, even though the doors were totally shut, and he was like, ‘What’s up, guys? Peace out, y’all!’
And he said to Thomas, yo, come here and check this out – feel my hands with your finger, and put your hand in my side. Don’t doubt, bro, just believe.
And Thomas was like, ‘Yo, Jesus, you’re my main homie, bro! You’re my Lord, my God, all in one!’
Jesus says to Thomas, like bro, I get why you believe ’cause you saw me and all, but real blessings go to those who haven’t seen me, yet still believe.
And Jesus did many other awesome things in front of his squad, stuff that didn’t even make it into this book, you know?
These words are here so you can totally believe that Jesus is the ultimate, the Son of God; and by believing, you can have a lit life through his name.

John 21

So, like, after everything that went down, Jesus showed up again to his squad by the sea of Tiberias. And this is how he made himself known to them.
So Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the Zebedee brothers, and two other disciples were all just vibing together.
Yo, Simon Peter was like, ‘Let’s go fishing.’ And his crew was like, ‘Cool, we’re down.’ So they hopped in a boat right away, but unlucky for them, they didn’t catch anything that night.
But when morning came, Jesus was standing on the shore. But the crew didn’t clock that it was Jesus.
Yo, Jesus was like, ‘Hey, y’all got any food?’ And they were like, ‘Nah, man.’
Then he was like, ‘Yo, toss the net on the right side of the boat and you’ll catch some serious fish.’ So they did, and they caught so many fish they couldn’t even reel the net in.
So the disciple that Jesus loved was like, ‘Yo, it’s the Lord!’ When Simon Peter heard that, he immediately threw on his fisherman’s gear (since he was basically naked) and jumped into the sea.
Then the rest of the squad hopped on a small boat (they weren’t too far from shore, just about 200 cubits), while dragging in their haul of fish with a net.
So when they finally got to land, they saw a fire with some fresh fish and bread cooking on it.
Jesus was like, ‘Yo, bring me some of those fish you just caught.’
So Simon Peter, he pulls up the net, man, and it’s filled to the brim with a ton of massive fish, like, a whopping 153 of ’em, bro! And get this, even though there were so many fish, the net didn’t even break, dude.
Jesus was like, ‘Come grub with me.’ And none of the disciples were like, ‘Yo, who even are you?’ They already knew it was the Lord.
So Jesus rolls up, grabs some bread and hands it to his crew, and does the same with fish.
So, Jesus made his third appearance in front of his squad, after he came back from the dead.
After they finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me more than these?’ Peter was like, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I got love for you.’ Jesus said, ‘Then take care of my lambs.’
He said to him again for the second time, ‘Simon, bro of Jonas, do you like-like me?’ He was like, ‘Yeah, Lord; you know I’m totally into you.’ Jesus was like, ‘Take care of my squad.’
He asked him for the third time, ‘Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me?’ Peter was kinda hurt because he asked him three times, ‘Do you love me?’ And he was like, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’
Yo, check it: For real, I’m telling you this straight: Back in the day, you did your own thing, but when you’re old, someone else is gonna handle you and take you places you wouldn’t choose to go.
Jesus said this to show how Peter would honor God through his death. After saying this, Jesus told him, ‘Come with me.’
So Peter peeps the disciple that Jesus really vibed with, who was trailing along. This was the same person who leaned on Jesus’ chest during supper and asked, ‘Hey, Lord, who’s gonna betray you?’
When Peter saw him, he was like, ‘What’s the deal with this guy?’
Jesus said to him, ‘If I want him to wait until I come back, why should you even trip? Just focus on following me.’
So, the word got around the crew that this follower wasn’t gonna kick the bucket: however, Jesus didn’t actually say he wouldn’t die; He just said, ‘If I decide that he sticks around until I return, what’s it to you?’
This is the homie who’s spilling all the tea and putting it in writing: and we know for sure that what he’s saying is straight up facts.
And Jesus, like, did so many other things, man. If we wrote them all down, I bet even the whole world wouldn’t have enough books to fit them all. That’s a major flex. Amen, bro.