Ezekiel

1. Yo, so check it—this went down when I was like thirty, in the fourth month, on the fifth day. I was just hanging with the squad, you know, by the river Chebar where we were held. And then, outta nowhere, bam! The sky cracked open and I was hit with these insane visions of God. It was absolutely mind-blowing, dude!
2. On the fifth day of the month, in the fifth year of King Jehoiachin’s captivity
3. Yo, peep this! The rad word from the man upstairs, the LORD, came straight to Ezekiel the priest, Buzi’s son, while he was kickin’ it in the land of the Chaldeans by the river Chebar. The LORD’s power was seriously lit and strong with him, no cap. (By the way, Ezekiel is Hebrew for Jehezkel. Just FYI.)
4. Bro, check it out—I peeped this insane sight. From the north, there was this massive whirlwind, a huge cloud, and a fire all twisted up. And it was crazy bright, like this amber glow coming from the flames. It was like the fire was all alive and moving on its own, you feel me?
5. And right in the middle of all that, there were these four living creature vibes. Lemme tell ya, they straight up looked like humans.
6. And yo, each of these creatures had four faces and four wings, no lie.
7. Their feet were straight up like a calf’s foot, and they were shiny and glimmered like polished brass.
8. They had human-like hands under their wings, one pair on each side, with faces and wings on all four sides.
9. Their wings were joined together and didn’t turn as they moved; they all went straight ahead.
10. Yo, check it out. These creatures had some wild faces. They had a human face and a lion face on the right side. And get this—they had an ox face on the left side. But hold up, there’s more! They even had an eagle face too, like, what?!
11. And here’s the vibe on how they looked: their faces were on point, and their wings were flexed to the max; each creature had two wings stretched out touching the wings of the next creature, and two wings covering their dope bodies. #DividedAbove
12. They stayed true to the course: wherever the vibes led them, they rolled without hesitation; they stayed steady and didn’t veer off course.
13. The living creatures were totally lit, not gonna lie. They were like blazing coals and awesome lamps, moving up and down among them. The fire was super bright, and lightning was shooting out from it.
14. And these incredible creatures zoomed back and forth like an insane TikTok dance.
15. So, I was checking out these incredible living creatures, you know? And then I peeped this totally rad wheel on the ground beside them, and this wheel had four faces, dude!
16. The wheels were like they were crafted from beryl, and all four of them were identical. It was like seeing wheels within wheels.
17. When they moved, they rolled on all fours and didn’t veer off course.
18. Yo, their wheels were seriously next level, like, crazy intimidating, you feel me? And these wheels were legit covered in eyes, all around, four in total. The eyes were everywhere, man. (or, the rims too, you know?)
19. And when these awesome creatures moved, the wheels moved right alongside them. And when the creatures were lifted up off the ground, the wheels went up too.
20. Wherever the spirit wanted to go, they rolled right with it. The wheels lifted up next to them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.
21. When the first crew moved, the second crew moved too; and when the first crew stopped, the second crew stopped too; and when the first crew lifted off the ground, the wheels lifted up with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.
22. And above the heads of these living creatures was a sky that looked like a super cool crystal, totally mind-blowing, stretched out above them.
23. Underneath this dome, their wings were straight and facing each other: each creature had two wings that covered one side, and another two wings that covered the other side, enveloping their bodies.
24. And as they moved, I heard the sound of their wings, like the roar of huge waves, along with the powerful voice, the voice of speech, like the sound of a large crowd. When they stood still, they lowered their wings.
25. And then, out of nowhere, this voice thundered from above their heads while they were all standing with their wings spread out and all.
26. And above this awesome expanse over their heads, there was this throne that looked like an incredible sapphire stone. And on the throne, there was this figure resembling a dude, just chilling on top of it.
27. I saw this incredible sight that looked like amber and fire, surrounding this figure from head to toe. It glowed with fire and was intensely bright!
28. Picture this—like seeing a rainbow on a rainy day, it was absolutely breathtaking, you know? Well, that’s sorta how the glory of the LORD appeared. I was so overwhelmed I had to bow down, and then I heard someone speaking!

1. And then he was like, “Yo, bro, get up off your lazy vibe and stand up, ’cause I’m about to lay down some wisdom on you.”
2. And like, this mega powerful energy hit me when he started talking, and I was totally hyped and pumped. It’s like he lifted me up and made me feel so alive, dude. I was all ears, totally focused on soaking in every word ’cause he had me hooked.
3. Yo, dude! God was like, “Listen up, my friend. I’m sending you, son of man, to the kids of Israel. These peeps are rebellious AF. They’ve been rebelling against me, just like their ancestors have been doing all this time!
4. These kids are bold and stubborn beyond belief. I’m sending you to them, and you gotta deliver what the Lord GOD says. (P.S. ‘impudent’ means ‘hard of face’ in case you were curious)
5. And whether they want to listen or not (because they’re so rebellious, ugh), they’ll totally come to recognize that a true prophet was among them. Just putting it out there.
6. Yo, dude, don’t let these peeps or their words stress you out, even if they’re as prickly and toxic as briers and scorpions. Keep your cool, and don’t let their words get under your skin, even if they’re being rebellious and difficult. Stay strong, fam!
7. And you gotta, like, totally deliver my message to them, whether they listen or not, ’cause they’re like super rebellious, you know? Like, majorly rebellious.
8. Yo, dude! Pay attention, son of man. Listen up, okay? Don’t be rebellious like those dudes in that rebellious house. Instead, open your mouth and devour the message I’m about to give you!
9. And then I peeped this hand coming toward me, and yo, there was this totally cool scroll in it!
10. He showed me the scroll, and it had writing on both sides – full of expressions of sorrow, grief, and despair.

1. Yo, check it out! So, he was all like, ‘Yo, dude, munch on whatever you find. Eat this scroll and go drop some truth bombs on the fam in Israel.’
2. So I was like, ‘Oh, I’m hungry!’ And then he hooked me up with this epic snack to chow down on!
3. And he goes, ‘Yo, dude, feast on this scroll I’m serving you.’ So I digested it, and man, it tasted so sweet, like honey in my mouth.
4. So, He was all like, ‘Yo, dude! Head over to the house of Israel and, like, drop my words on them, you know.’
5. Like, you ain’t going to some random crew with a different dialect and confusing slang. Nah, you’re specifically sent to the Israelites – they got their own way of talking, with those deep lip vibes and heavy tongue game. So, go vibe with your squad!
6. Don’t trip about talking to folks who speak differently and use slang you’re not hip to. Believe me, if I sent you their way, they’d totally get your vibe.
7. But the Israelites ain’t gonna vibe with you, ’cause they don’t vibe with me either. They’re all stubborn and closed-minded. Like, for real, they got hard foreheads and tough hearts.
8. Check it, I’ve hooked you up with mad confidence so you can face anyone straight up, no sweat.
9. I’ve made you tough like solid rock, with a bold attitude. Don’t trip over those haters or stress about their stares, even if they’re acting all rebellious.
10. And he said, “Hey, listen up, man. Take what I’m about to drop on you and let it sink deep, you feel me? Open your ears wide and really hear what I’m saying.”
11. Go and find those who are locked up, your own squad, and connect with them. Break it down for them and let them know what’s good, because this is straight from the Lord GOD—whether they wanna vibe with it or brush it off, that’s on them.
12. So then, I was totally caught up in this amazing spiritual experience, and I heard this powerful voice from behind me. It was like, “Yo, the glory of the LORD is totally blessed wherever He’s at, you know?”
13. I heard the epic sound of those living creatures’ wings colliding, and the wheels next to them making this intense rush—it was mind-blowing!
14. Yo, check it out—something wild went down. Out of the blue, I felt this intense energy lifting me up, like taking me on a ride. I gotta be real, I was heated, all fired up, but yo, the power of the LORD was just overwhelming me. It was next level!
15. So, I rolled up to the TikTok fam in Telabib, posted up by the river of Chebar. I kicked it right where they were at and spent a whole week straight vibing with them, totally blown away.
16. So, after a whole week, the LORD dropped me a message—check this out, you know what He said?
17. Yo, dude, listen up! I’ve picked you to be like a lookout for the peeps of Israel. So, tune in to what I’m about to say and give ’em a heads up from me!
18. When I call out the wicked and tell them, “You’re heading for trouble,” but you don’t speak up to warn them about their wicked ways to help save their lives, that wicked person is gonna face the consequences of their own evil. But I’m gonna hold you responsible for not speaking up.
19. But if you call out someone who’s doing wrong and they don’t change their ways, they’ll face the consequences of their actions. At least you did your part and saved yourself from any guilt.
20. Yo, listen up. If someone who’s been living right goes off track and starts doing messed up stuff, and I throw challenges their way, they’re gonna face the consequences. Look, you didn’t even try to warn them, so they’ll die with their sins dragging them down. And you know what? All the good they did before won’t count for squat. But just so you know, I’m holding you responsible for their blood on your hands, bro. Just saying.
21. But check it, here’s the deal: if you give a heads-up to someone who’s already on the right path, making sure they stay on track, and they actually stay on track, they’ll keep living their best life. You know why? Because you had their back! And bonus, you’re looking out for yourself too.
22. Then God’s power came over me, and he said to me, “Get up, go out into the open space, and I’ll speak with you there.”
23. So, I got up and headed out into this open spot, and BOOM, God’s incredible presence was right there, just like when I saw His amazing glory by the river of Chebar. And dude, I couldn’t help but bow down with my face to the ground.
24. And then, this vibe hit me. It lifted me up and started talking with me, telling me to go and lock myself up at home.
25. Yo, dude, check it! You, as a son of man, gotta pay attention ’cause they’re gonna slap those handcuffs on you, tie you up real tight, and keep you from going out into their turf.
26. And I’ll make your mouth stick to the roof, so you won’t be able to preach to those rebellious folks. They ain’t trying to hear your advice, fam.
27. Yo, when I’m speaking through you, I’ll let you speak boldly. Here’s what God says: If someone’s listening, they better listen up, but if they’re not feeling it, they can step back. ‘Cause those peeps are straight rebellious.

1. Yo, dude! Listen up, son of man, take a tile and put it in front of you. Then, get creative and paint the city—yeah, that’s Jerusalem.
2. Surround the place, build a solid fortress, and set up big ramps. Gather the whole crew around it and bring in some heavy artillery. They’re like the top leaders or something!
3. Yo, take a cast iron pan and hold it up like a wall between you and the city. Face it straight on and act like you’re laying siege to it. This is gonna be a big sign for Israel. For real!
4. Just lay down on your left side and take on all the bad vibes from what the people of Israel have done. You gotta do this for the same number of days you stay on your side. That’s how you’ll carry their mess-ups.
5. I’m gonna have you carry their wrongdoings for a long time, like 390 days. You’ll be dealing with the sins of Israel, like a huge weight on your shoulders.
6. And once you’re done with that, flip over to your right side again. You’ll take on the fallout from the mistakes of the house of Judah for forty days. Each day stands for a whole year—it’s like a day equals a year kinda deal.
7. So, like, you gotta totally dial into what’s going on with Jerusalem and all. And you gotta like, bare your arm or whatever, and speak out against it, you know?
8. Yo, listen up: I’m gonna limit your mobility, like slapping bands on you, so you can’t even flip over until you’ve toughed it out through the whole siege. (And just so you know, “from one side to another” means you can’t twist or turn around.)
9. Yo, gather up wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet, and spelt. Mix ’em all in one bowl and bake some bread. You gotta chow down on this bread for 390 days while you’re posted up on your side. No cheating!
10. And the grub you’ll eat will be strictly portioned—like twenty shekels a day, not a crumb more. Stick to the routine and eat it at regular times.
11. You gotta stick to a set water limit, like only a sixth of a hin. And remember to stay hydrated regularly too!
12. And you should bake it like barley cakes, using manure as fuel right in front of them.
13. God said, ‘Hey, pay attention. The Israelites gotta eat their funky food while they’re living among the non-Israelite people I’m sending them to.’
14. I responded, ‘Hey, Lord GOD!’ Hear me out, my soul hasn’t been defiled. From my youth till now, I’ve never eaten any dead or torn-up animals, and I haven’t put any gross, disgusting meat in my mouth.
15. And he’s like, ‘Yo, I provided you with cow’s dung instead of human dung, so you can use it to bake your bread, man!’
16. Yo, he was like, ‘Listen up, dude. I’m gonna mess up the whole bread situation in Jerusalem. They’re gonna eat bread in small portions and with anxiety. And when they drink water, it’ll be carefully rationed and they’ll be shook.’
17. So, they’re gonna be really craving bread and water, and they’ll be totally shocked and amazed by what’s going down. You know, they’ll just have to deal with the consequences of their bad choices and stuff.

1. Hey fam, listen up. Get yourself a fresh razor and trim off all your hair and beard. When you’re done, grab some scales, weigh the hair, and split it into equal parts. Respect.
2. Yo, when those siege days are done, you gotta burn up a third of the city with fire, you feel me? Then take another third, cut it up with a knife or whatever. And the last third, just scatter it in the wind, man. And watch out, ’cause I’m gonna chase after them with a sword, for real.
3. You gotta snatch up a few, then tuck ’em away safe in your fit.
4. Then, take those pieces and toss them into the fire, burn them up. That fire’s gonna spread through the whole house of Israel, alright?
5. Yo, listen up! God’s saying, ‘Listen, fam! Here’s the deal from the Lord GOD: Jerusalem is the spot! I’ve placed it right in the center of all these nations and countries!’
6. And Jerusalem totally messed up my rules, even worse than other countries, and ignored my laws more than neighboring nations. They straight up rejected my rules and didn’t even try to follow them.
7. So, like, this is what the Lord GOD says: ‘Yo, because you guys went overboard more than all the nations around you and completely ignored my rules and commandments, not even doing what the other nations are doing;’
8. So here’s what the big boss upstairs says: Yo, I’m not feeling you right now, and I’m about to lay down some serious judgments right in your hood for everyone to see.
9. And I’m about to do something wild with you that I’ve never done before and won’t ever do again because of all the messed up stuff you’re pulling.
10. So, like, it’s gonna get so bad that dads will start eating their own sons, and sons will do the same to their dads. I’m gonna hit you with some serious punishments, and whoever’s left will get scattered everywhere, fam!
11. Yo, listen up! As the Lord GOD lives, here’s the deal: since you’ve messed up my sacred place with all your nasty stuff and abominations, I’m bringing you down. I won’t hold back and I won’t show any mercy.
12. So, like, here’s the deal: a third of the people are gonna get wiped out by this intense sickness, and another third will starve ’cause there’s no food, right in the middle of everything. And then, another third will get taken out by violence all around. Oh, and I’m gonna scatter the last third in every direction and send a sword after them too.
13. So, when I’ve finished being angry, I’m gonna let loose all my rage on them. And honestly, finding some peace in that. They’ll come to understand it was me, the LORD, who spoke, because of my intense passion. Once I’ve vented all my fury on them, they’ll know without a doubt.
14. And I’ll make you totally irrelevant and a complete embarrassment among the other countries around you, in front of everyone passing by.
15. It’s gonna be so embarrassing and shocking for all the nearby nations when I let loose my anger and furious punishment on you. I, the LORD, am giving you a heads-up.
16. When I unleash those hunger arrows, it’s gonna be a disaster for them. Those arrows will mess them up bad, and I’m sending them to hit you too. I’ll make the famine even worse for you and cut off your food supply.
17. I’ll bring hard times your way with hunger and terrifying creatures, leaving you with nothing. Diseases will spread and violence will be everywhere, and I’m coming at you with all of it. This is the word of the LORD.

1. So, I’m just vibing, you know? Then the big man upstairs hits me up in my DMs and drops this message like,
2. “Yo, dude, check it out! Look at those sick mountains in Israel and start spitting some truth about them.”
3. “Hey, squad! This is a message from the Lord GOD to all you mountains of Israel. He’s straight up saying he’s about to drop some serious devastation on you, like swinging a sword and wrecking your high spots.”
4. “Your altars will be empty and your idols will be smashed to bits. I’ll bring down those who have been killed before your idols.”
5. “And I’m gonna straight up show off by exposing the lifeless bodies of the Israelites right in front of their idols. Plus, I’m gonna scatter your bones all around those fancy altars and stuff. No cap. 💀”
6. “All your cities are gonna get wrecked and the chill hangout spots will become ghost towns. That’s so there won’t be any altars left, and your idols will get wrecked and forgotten. They’re gonna tear down all your fancy statues, and everything you’ve worked on will be totally wiped out.”
7. “And when people start catching fades, you’ll know I’m the LORD.”
8. “But don’t trip, I’ll make sure a few of you survive and dip out of the violence when you get scattered to other countries.”
9. “The ones who make it out will remember me, no matter where they end up, ’cause they’ve turned away from me and are all about chasing their idols. They’ll be sick to their stomachs over the messed-up stuff they’ve done and all their sin.”
10. “And they’ll straight up realize I’m the LORD. Like, I wasn’t just talking when I said I was gonna bring this evil on them.”
11. “Hey, listen up, fam! The Lord is like, ‘Yo, slap your hand, stomp your foot, and be like, ‘Damn, all the messed up stuff going down in the house of Israel!’ ‘Cause they’re gonna get wrecked by sword, hunger, and disease.’”
12. “Those who are far away will be struck down by sickness, and those nearby will be taken out by violence. Even those who stay and are stuck will perish from starvation. This is how I’m letting my anger loose on them.”
13. “And that’s when you’ll know I’m the LORD, ’cause their dead bodies will be scattered around their idols, from the hilltops to the mountains to the trees—where they used to sacrifice and worship their fake gods.”
14. “I’m gonna straight up wreck them and leave the land deserted, like even more empty than the middle of nowhere. They’ll have nowhere to crash! And then they’ll finally get that I’m the top dog, the LORD.”

1. So, God reached out to me, and He was like,
2. “Hey, dude, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD says to the land of Israel: It’s over, the end has arrived for every nook and cranny of the land.
3. “It’s totally game over for you. I’m about to unleash my anger and pass judgment on you for what you’ve been doing. You’re gonna get what’s coming to you for all the messed up stuff you’ve been pulling.”
4. “And I won’t hold back, I won’t show any mercy. I’ll pay you back for what you’ve done, and your gross actions will be right in front of you. Then you’ll finally realize that I am the LORD.”
5. “Yo, check it out! The Lord GOD says something seriously heavy is about to go down, I’m telling you!
6. OMG, it’s going down! The end is here, for real. It’s coming for you, like, seriously! Look, it’s happening right now, no joke. #AwakeAgainst”
7. “Hey, wake up! For all you cool cats hanging in this land, it’s time to face reality. The countdown’s on, and we’re heading straight into some serious chaos – no way out. Peaceful mountain vibes are gone.
8. I’m gearing up to let loose my anger real soon, and I’m not holding back on calling you out for all the messed up stuff you’ve been doing. I’ll make sure you get what’s coming to you for your gross behavior.”
9. “I won’t hold back or show any sympathy. I’ll give you what you deserve for your actions and the wickedness among you. Then you’ll know that I am the LORD who punishes.”
10. “Yo, listen up, the day has come, for real: morning’s here, things are blooming, and pride is on the rise.”
11. “Man, there’s been so much violence, it’s getting out of hand. Wickedness has turned into a weapon, you feel me? Let me tell you, none of those causing chaos are getting away with it. Not a single one from their crew, not a soul! And honestly, no one’s shedding a tear for them. It’s gonna be total silence, dude.”
12. “Yo, it’s game time, the day is drawing near: Don’t let the buyer be stoked, nor the seller be down, ’cause for real, wrath is coming for everyone involved.”
13. “Once a deal’s made, it’s locked in, even if they’re still around. This vision is for the whole crew, and there’s no turning back. Nobody can count on their wrongdoing to gain an advantage in life.”
14. “They’ve been posting about it, trying to hype everyone up, but when it comes down to it, no one steps up to fight because I’m furious with all of them.”
15. “Danger’s all around, man. Sword fights, sickness, and hunger are on the loose, whether you’re out in the open or indoors. People in the fields? They’ll be taken out by the sword. And those in the cities? They’ll face famine and disease head-on, no question.”
16. “But those who escape will be up in the mountains like valley doves, each one feeling low, thinking about their mistakes.”
17. “Everyone’s hands will be weak, and their knees will be wobbly like water. Seriously weak, you feel me?”
18. “They’ll be rocking sackcloth and totally scared; their faces will be full of shame, and everyone will be bald.”
19. “They’ll toss their cash in the streets, but their wealth won’t save them when the LORD’s anger hits. No satisfaction, no peace—physically or emotionally—’cause their sin trips ’em up.”
20. “They used to have epic decorations fit for royalty, but then they switched to these gross, repulsive images. So, I kept my distance from all that mess. It was just too nasty and impure.”
21. “I’m gonna let random outsiders swoop in and let the wicked have a blast with it, totally trashing everything.”
22. “I’ll turn away from them, and they’ll defile my sacred place. Yep, those robbers will break in and wreck it completely.”
23. “Listen up, everyone: this place is a disaster, with messed up stuff happening all over, and violence is rampant in the city.”
24. “So I’m bringing in the worst of the non-believers, and they’re gonna take over their homes. I’ll also dismantle all the fancy stuff the powerful have, and their sacred places will be ruined. It’s like an inheritance they didn’t ask for.”
25. “Total chaos is coming, and people will be scrambling for peace, but they won’t find it.”
26. “It’s problem after problem, and gossip on top of gossip. They’ll look to influencers for answers, but religious leaders will neglect their duties, and wise elders won’t give any guidance.”
27. “The king will be bummed 😔, and the prince will feel hollow inside, while the people of the land will be totally stressed out. I’ll give them what they’ve dished out, and I’ll judge them fairly. Then, they’ll know for sure that I’m the LORD. Yeah, you heard it right! 💁‍♂️”

1. Yo, it was like in the sixth year, on the sixth month, on the fifth day, I was just vibing at my place, and some older crew from Judah were kicking it with me. Then out of nowhere, boom, I felt the Spirit of the Lord GOD hit me hard.
2. Bro, I peeped this wild vision—like fire everywhere! It was coming from his waist down, and his upper half was lit up, shining with this amber glow. It was insane, man, blew my mind!
3. Then this dude appears with a hand and grabs a lock of my curly hair, and bam, I’m lifted up in spirit, floating somewhere between earth and sky, and God drops this epic vision on me. It was like, whoa, next thing I know, I’m in Jerusalem at the north-facing inner gate. And get this—there’s this idol there that’s making everyone jealous, just chillin’.
4. And, dude, the crazy awesome glory of God, the big boss of Israel, was totally there, just like I saw it in this mind-blowing vision, right in front of me.
5. Yo, dude, this guy comes up to me and says, ‘Hey, man, look north!’ So I check it out, and, bro, I see this messed-up image by the entrance to the altar. It’s like, major jealousy vibes happening.
6. And he’s like, “Bro, peep what’s happening here. The people of Israel are pulling some seriously messed up stuff in my holy place. It’s making me want to bounce, man. But hold up, there’s more messed up stuff on the way.”
7. So, he takes me to the entrance of the court, and when I scope it out, bam! There’s this legit hole in the wall.
8. So he’s like, “Yo dude, go ahead and dig in the wall, son of man.” And I’m there, digging in the wall for real, and bam! There’s a freaking door, man.
9. And he’s like, “Yo, come with me and check out the messed up stuff they’re doing here, bro.”
10. So I went inside and scoped it out, and man, you won’t believe what I saw. There were all these creepy crawlers, gross creatures, and like, all these idols from the house of Israel, painted on the walls all around.
11. So, there were these seventy awesome dudes from the original Israel crew. And right in the center, Jaazaniah, son of Shaphan, was there, holding it down with his censer in hand. And yo, a thick cloud of sweet incense rose up, setting those peaceful vibes.
12. So this dude rolls up to me, right? He’s like, “Hey, dude! Have you seen what those old-school folks from Israel are up to in secret? Like, each one of them is locked into their own little fantasy worlds.” And get this, they’re actually saying, “Um, hello? God can’t see us, bro! God totally bailed on the earth!”
13. He said, “Hey, turn around and see the even crazier stuff they’re up to.”
14. So he brings me to the entrance of the LORD’s pad, right on the north side. And guess what? There were these girls sitting there, totally mourning for Tammuz.
15. Yo, bro, listen up! So this dude says to me, “Hey, have you seen this, son of man? Turn around and get ready, ’cause you’re about to see even crazier messed up stuff than before.”
16. So, he takes me to this VIP section of the LORD’s house, and guess what? Right at the entrance of the temple, between the swanky porch and the fancy altar, there were like twenty-five dudes facing east, totally worshiping the sun.
17. Yo, listen up, dude. Have you seen this, bro? It’s not just a small thing that the people of Judah are doing all these messed up things, you know? They’re seriously filling the whole land with violence and it’s really getting to me. I mean, they’re even doing weird stuff like waving branches at their noses. Like, come on, do they really think that’s better than anything else they’ve done?
18. So, I’m gonna let loose with my anger. I won’t hold back or show any mercy. Even if they yell and scream at me, I’m not gonna pay them any mind.

1. He straight up yelled in my ears, like, “Yo, bring those city leaders over here, everyone should come armed and ready to wreck!”
2. Check it, six dudes came up to the north gate packing heat, ready to roll. And one of them was stylin’ in a fresh linen fit with a writer’s inkhorn on deck. They went in and posted up by the bronze altar.
3. The awesome presence of the God of Israel bounced off from the cherub, where He was posted, and rolled right up to the entrance of the temple. Then He called out to the dude in the fresh linen clothes, who was rockin’ a dope writer’s inkhorn on his hip.
4. And God told him, “Hey, go through the city, right into the heart of Jerusalem, and put a special mark on the foreheads of those who are really bummed out and upset about all the messed up stuff happening there—you know, all the messed up things people are doing. That’s what I’m talking about. So yeah, mark them up, you know what I mean? Put that mark on them.”
5. And then he spoke loud and clear so I could hear, “Follow him through the city and strike without holding back or showing any mercy.” (Hebrew note: It means he was speaking directly to me.)
6. Take out everyone, no matter their age or gender—girls, boys, women. But don’t touch those who have the mark, and begin with my holy place.” They began with the elderly men standing in front of the house.
7. He instructed them, “Mess up the house and scatter the bodies in the streets—go for it.” So they went out and began killing people in the city.
8. And like, while they were taking out everyone else, I was literally the only one left. I was so shook that I just fell on my face and started crying out to God, like, “OMG Lord GOD! Are you really gonna wipe out all the rest of Israel and pour out your anger on Jerusalem?”
9. So he said to me, “The sins of the people of Israel and Judah are seriously bad. The whole land is full of violence, and the city is corrupt. They keep saying God has abandoned the earth and doesn’t care about what’s happening.”
10. “As for me,” he continued, “I won’t hold back or show mercy. They’ll get what’s coming to them.”
11. Yo, peep this! There was this dude stylin’ in fresh linen gear, with an inkhorn lookin’ sharp at his side. He rolled up and was like, “Listen up, fam! I’ve done everything you commanded.”

1. So, check it out, fam! I was peepin’ this scene, and I spotted somethin’ mind-blowing up in the sky above those angel creatures. It looked like a super lit sapphire stone, giving off major throne vibes.
2. Then God drops a word to this dude in mad fancy gear, like, ‘Yo, go post up between those wheels by that angel statue. Scoop up some burning coals from the other angel statues and straight up chuck ’em all over the city.’ And this dude goes and does it while I’m just watchin’ in awe.
3. So, there were these angel dudes posted up on the right side of the house, chillin’ and doing their thing, when this dude walks in. Outta nowhere, this insane cloud rolls in and straight-up fills the inner court. It was unreal.
4. Then, boom! The LORD’s awesomeness lifts off from the cherub and hovers right above the entrance of the place. The whole spot gets flooded with this epic cloud, and the entire courtyard starts gleamin’ like crazy with the LORD’s mind-blowing glory. Seriously, it was on another level.
5. And the wings of the cherubim were flappin’ loud, echoin’ all the way to the main courtyard, soundin’ like when Almighty God speaks.
6. So, the dude in the fancy threads gets told to grab fire from between the wheels, you know, the ones near the cherubim. And he goes in and posts up next to the wheels, just like that.
7. And one of the cherubs reached out their hand from among the others toward the fire that was in the middle, took some of it, and placed it into the hands of the person dressed in linen. Then that person took it and split.
8. And there was this crazy thing with the cherubim. It was like a hand, but, like, a hand that looked human, you feel? And it was peeking out from under their wings. Mind-blowing stuff, seriously!
9. And yo, when I scoped it out, I peeped these four sick wheels kickin’ it next to the cherubs. Each wheel was rollin’ with one of the cherubs, and they were gleamin’ like beryl stones, super shiny and all that.
10. And these four dudes, they were all matchin’ up, like they were wheels within wheels, you get me?
11. When they rolled, they rolled straight ahead in every direction without swerving. They stayed on track, facing wherever their heads turned. They stayed steady and didn’t drift off course.
12. Dude, these angels were covered in eyes all over—on their bodies, backs, hands, wings, and even their wheels, man. And those wheels? They had eyes all around too. It was a crazy sight to see!
13. So, there was this voice calling out to the wheels, and I heard it like, ‘Hey, wheel!’
14. And each wheel had four faces: one face was like a cherub, another like a human, then a lion, and an eagle for the fourth face.
15. And the cherubim were on point. This is the rad creature I saw by the river Chebar.
16. So, the cherubim were rollin’ with the wheels, you know? And when the cherubim decided to take flight, their wings spread out, and the wheels kept rollin’ right alongside. Totally in sync, dude!
17. When these creatures stood, these beings stood; and when they lifted up, these beings lifted themselves up too, because the spirit of the living creature was within them.
18. Then the awesomeness of the LORD moved from the entrance of the house and hovered over the majestic cherubim, you know?
19. And the cherubim spread their wings and took flight from the ground right before my eyes. As they went out, the wheels were right there with them, and each one stopped at the entrance of the east gate of the LORD’s house. The incredible glory of the God of Israel shone over them from above.
20. Yo, listen up, this is the epic spiritual being that I saw chillin’ with the God of Israel by the Chebar River. And I totally recognized that they were the cherubim.
21. Each of them had four faces and four wings, and it looked like human hands were under their wings.
22. Their faces were just like the ones I saw by the river Chebar. They had the same features, and they all moved straight ahead.

1. So, like, I found myself zapped to the east gate of the LORD’s house, looking eastward. And there were about 25 guys chilling there at the gate, you know, with Jaazaniah, son of Azur, and Pelatiah, son of Benaiah, who were like, big shots among the people.
2. And then he’s like, yo dude, check this out: these guys right here, they’re scheming up all kinds of trouble and dropping wicked advice in this city:
3. They were all like, “Nah, it’s not time yet. Let’s just flex and build some sick houses. This city is where it’s lit, and we’re the influencers around here.”
4. So, like, go ahead and call them out, speak up, bro.
5. And then the LORD dropped a vibe on me, and He was like, “Yo, speak up! This is what the LORD has to say: I know exactly what’s going on in your minds, fam, every single thought.”
6. Y’all out here causing a lot of deaths in this city, straight filling the streets with bodies.
7. So, God’s saying this: Those people you killed and left in the city, they’re like the meat in a cooking pot. But no stress, I’m gonna rescue all of you from this messed up city.
8. You’ve been tripping about the sword, right? Well, check it out—I’m bringing a sword your way, says the Lord GOD.
9. And I’ll totally snatch you out of there and hand you over to strangers, and I’ll totally bring judgment upon you there.
10. You’re gonna get wrecked by swords; when I drop judgment on your home turf in Israel, you’ll know for sure that I am the one and only LORD.
11. This spot ain’t gonna be your scene anymore, and you won’t be running things around here; instead, I’ll drop some serious judgments on you outside of Israel.
12. And you’ll see that I’m the LORD because you haven’t been following my rules or making fair choices; instead, you’ve been copying the ways of those who don’t believe (like you’ve been ignoring the rules altogether!).
13. So, when I was prophesying, this guy named Pelatiah, son of Benaiah, straight up dropped dead. Dude, I totally hit the ground, face-first, and started bawling my eyes out like, “OMG, Lord GOD! Are you really gonna wipe out the rest of Israel?”
14. Then the LORD hit me up with another message, like,
15. Yo, listen up, son of man. Your crew, your homies, the guys from your fam, and all the crew of Israel, they’re the ones that the people of Jerusalem are dissing. They’re like, “Get lost, go away from the LORD. This land is ours, it’s our turf.”
16. So, God says, even though I’ve sent them far away to live among different peoples and scattered them in different places, I’ll still be there, like a safe space for them in those countries they end up in.
17. So, like, listen up! God is saying, “I’ll totally gather you all together from different places, bringing you back from the countries where you’ve been scattered, and settle you in the land of Israel.”
18. And, like, they’ll go there and totally clean out all the gross and disgusting stuff from that place.
19. And I’m gonna flip the script, you know? Like, I’ll give them this new and fresh heart. Plus, I’ll take away that cold, hard heart they’ve been rocking and swap it for a heart that’s soft and full of empathy.
20. So, if they obey my rules and do what I told them to, they’ll totally be my squad and I’ll have their backs, you feel me?
21. “For those totally into nasty stuff and shady deeds, God’s gonna make ’em face what they brought on themselves,” says the Lord GOD.
22. “And these angel vibes were like, ‘Yo, let’s spread those wings!’ And the wheels next to ’em were straight rollin’. The glory of the God of Israel? Totally above ’em, you feel?”
23. Yo, the LORD’s glory rolled out from the city and showed up on the mountain to the east, like a boss.
24. Then the spirit lifted me up and took me in this super intense vision by the Spirit of God to Chaldea, where the captives were held. That’s when the incredible vision I had completely disappeared.
25. So, I shared with them all about the captivity and everything the LORD had revealed to me.

1. So, like, God dropped me a message, you know?
2. Yo, dude, listen up. You’re in a spot with a bunch of rebels. They got eyes but don’t really see, ya dig? And they got ears but ain’t really hearin’. These rebels, man, they’re bucking the trend.
3. Yo dude, check it out! Fellow human, pack up your stuff and move out in broad daylight where everyone can see. You gotta shift from where you’re at to right in front of them. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll get them thinking, even though they’re a bunch of rebellious peeps. Note: ‘stuff’ could also mean ‘instruments’, ya know?
4. Then you’ll straight up pack your stuff during the day like you’re moving out, and in the evening, bounce like you’re rolling with others into captivity.
5. Yo, real talk, carve out a hole right in front of them and sneak your stuff out through it. #DigLife #StealthMode
6. You gotta flex by carrying it on your shoulders in front of everyone. Do it at dusk and make sure to cover your face so you don’t see the ground. This is gonna be a sign to the Israelites, you know?
7. So, I totally followed the instructions I got. During the day, I packed up my stuff like I was prepping for a trip or something. But when it got dark, on the down-low, I dug through the wall with my own hands. Then, right at twilight, I strutted with all my gear on my shoulder right in front of them. Pretty slick move, huh? #ninja
8. And the next morning, God hit me up with a message, like,
9. Yo, dude, haven’t the Israelites—you know, the ones always rebelling—been asking you, like, ‘What’s your deal, man?’
10. Tell them this is what the Lord GOD is sayin’: This message is all about the prince in Jerusalem and the whole house of Israel who’s chillin’ with him.
11. Check it out, fam! Pay attention: just like I did my thing, the same deal’s gonna go down with them. They’re gonna get snatched up and sent away as captives. It’s gonna be a major shift for them. Yeah, you heard me—they’re gonna be locked down!
12. And the chill prince in the crew will step up when it’s crunch time, making moves: they’ll bust through the wall to bounce. He’ll cover his face, so he won’t get nabbed by the ops.
13. I’m gonna catch him in my net, reel him in tight. Then I’ll haul him off to Babylon, where the Chaldeans kick it. But you know what? He won’t even set foot there, ’cause that’s where he’ll meet his end.
14. And I’ll scatter his crew who had his back everywhere, and all his homies too; and I’m gonna chase ’em down with my sword.
15. And they’ll be like, ‘Yo, God in the house, no doubt!’ when I scatter them all over the globe, you know, to different countries and stuff.
16. But I’ll let some of them survive the chaos and all, you know? So they can spread the word about all the messed-up stuff they’re into to the other nations they go to. And when that goes down, they’ll totally recognize that I am, like, the LORD and all. Yeah, it’s pretty wild.
17. And then God hit me up and was like,
18. Yo dude, when you chow down, go all in, and when you sip, do it with mad focus and full awareness.
19. And tell the people this, says the Lord God of Jerusalem and Israel: They will eat their food nervously and drink their water in shock, because the land will become desolate due to the violence of its inhabitants. It will be stripped bare of everything it holds.
20. And all the happening cities will be totally wrecked, and the land will be deserted; then you’ll straight up realize that I’m the LORD.
21. So, the LORD hit me up with a message, and it was like,
22. Yo, dude, listen up: God’s saying, ‘Hey, son of man, what’s with that saying y’all got in Israel? You know, the one where y’all say the days are dragging on and all the visions are turning out to be fake?’
23. So listen up, this is what the Lord GOD has to say: I’m gonna squash that saying of yours, and it won’t fly in Israel anymore. Instead, I want you to tell them that the days are near, and every vision will come true.
24. Among the crew of Israel, no more fake visions or smooth-talking fortune-telling.
25. Yo, I’m the LORD: When I say something, it’s going down—no delays or extensions. In your time, rebellious crew, I’ll speak and make it happen, says the Lord GOD.
26. Yo, the LORD hit me up again, like,
27. Yo, dude! Listen up, the people of Israel are saying this vision that dude sees is gonna take forever to happen. They think he’s talking about some far-off future stuff or something.
28. So here’s the deal, folks. God’s like, ‘Listen up, y’all. My words won’t be dragged out anymore. What I’ve said is gonna happen, no doubt about it,’ says the Lord GOD.

1. So, like, God came at me and was all,
2. “Yo, listen up! This message is for all those self-proclaimed prophets in Israel who think they can predict the future. I’ve got something to say from the big man upstairs. Pay attention and hear the word of the LORD!”
3. Check it, fam! The Lord GOD has a word for all those prophets who are clueless, just vibing on their own without any real insight. They’re chasing their own desires and acting like they’ve got visions they haven’t seen.
4. Yo, Israel, your prophets are out here moving like foxes in the deserts.
5. Y’all haven’t patched up the gaps or fortified the house of Israel to stand firm in the battle on the day of the LORD.
6. Yo, these folks out here spreading fake news, chasing clout like they got a direct line to God, but ain’t nobody sent them. And worst of all, they’re giving false hope to others, making them think their words are legit.
7. Hey, did you catch that bogus vision and speak some fake divination, acting like it’s from the LORD when He never said a word?
8. So like, God’s saying, ‘Hey, listen up! You’ve been spouting nonsense and falling for fake stuff, so guess what? I’m not on your side at all,’ says God.
9. And I’m calling out those fake prophets who just spew nonsense and lies. They won’t be part of my crew, won’t be remembered in Israel’s history, and won’t even set foot in the land of Israel. You’ll know that I am the Lord GOD, no doubt about it.
10. Like, dude, these people straight up deceived my peeps by saying, ‘Everything’s cool, no worries,’ but yo, there was no chill at all. They built this flimsy wall and then others haphazardly slapped on some cheap material to make it look legit, but let me tell you, it’s far from solid.
11. Tell those who use weak stuff to cover it, that it will collapse: there will be a heavy rainstorm; and you, oh massive hailstones, will fall; and a powerful wind will tear it apart.
12. Yo, once that wall crumbles, won’t they be like, ‘Yo, where’s that fresh paint job y’all did?’
13. So, like, God’s saying, I’m gonna totally tear it up with this super intense storm wind ’cause I’m really mad. And there’s gonna be this insane heavy rain shower when I’m all furious, with huge hailstones to totally wipe it out.
14. I’m gonna demolish that wall you tried to patch up with weak mortar. It’s gonna crumble to the ground, exposing its feeble foundation. It’ll totally collapse, and you’ll be ruined along with it. And guess what? You’ll finally recognize that I’m the Lord.
15. So, I’m gonna let loose my anger on that wall, and on the people who sloppily patched it up with bad material. And I’ll straight up tell you, the wall is gonna crumble, along with the ones who patched it up.
16. So, like, here’s what’s up: the prophets in Israel are all about predicting good vibes for Jerusalem. They’re all about those peaceful visions, you know? But listen up, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, says the Lord GOD. There’s no peace, fam.
17. Hey dude, as a fellow human, make sure you call out those girls in your community who are making up their own prophecies. You gotta speak up against that too.
18. Yo, listen up, the Lord GOD has a message: I gotta warn you, it’s not looking good for those women who sew comfy pillows onto all their sleeves, and make fancy headbands for everyone, just to manipulate and trap people’s souls. Are you really out here trying to steal and save souls that come to you? What’s up with that?
19. Are you seriously dissing me in front of my people for a measly handful of barley and bits of bread, all while mercilessly killing innocent souls and protecting the lives of those who deserve punishment? And on top of that, you have the guts to deceive those who trust you with your fake stories? Seriously, can’t you see the harm you’re causing to my people with your deceitful lies?
20. So listen up, says the Lord GOD. I’m not down with those pillows you use to lure innocent souls away. I’m gonna snatch them right out of your hands and set those souls free, the ones you’re trying to snatch up.
21. I’m gonna tear apart those fancy kerchiefs of yours and set my people free from your grip. You won’t have them as targets anymore, and that’s how you’ll know I’m the LORD.
22. You messed with the emotions of the righteous folks by spreading lies, which I definitely did not approve of. And you also boosted the wicked ones, convincing them to stick to their evil ways by falsely promising them a good life. (Just so you know, I’m not about to save them or anything!)
23. So, like, there won’t be any more nonsense or bogus predictions, ’cause I’m gonna rescue my people from your control. Then you’ll know, for sure, that I’m the LORD.

1. So, these older dudes from Israel rolled up and took a seat in front of me.
2. So, the LORD hit me up and was like,
3. “Yo, dude, listen up. These guys are hardcore worshiping their idols and flaunting their sinful ways. Like, seriously! Can they really expect me to answer their prayers and stuff?”
4. So, go talk to them and say, “Yo, here’s what the Lord GOD says: Any guy from the house of Israel who’s all about idols and lets sin mess him up, but still comes to the prophet—I, the LORD, will answer them in a way that matches their idol obsession.”
5. So that I can reconnect with the house of Israel, because they’ve all drifted from me by chasing after idols.
6. Yo, check it, fam! This message is straight from the OG, the Lord GOD Himself. It’s time to flip the script, ditch those idol obsessions, and cut out all that messed-up stuff you’ve been into. No more wasting time on that toxic nonsense, alright?
7. If anyone from the Israel crew or even a visitor in Israel decides to ghost on me, starts worshiping idols in their mind, and flaunts their sinful ways, then tries to hit up a prophet to get some insight about me, I, the LORD, will step up and personally give them a response:
8. And I’m gonna be totally done with that person—seriously, they’ll become a cautionary tale, a living example of what not to do. They won’t even count as one of my crew anymore. Trust me, you’ll all know that I’m the LORD, no doubt.
9. And if a prophet messes up and says something wrong, I, the LORD, allowed that prophet to get deceived. I’m gonna hold them accountable and remove them from among my people, Israel.
10. They’re gonna feel the heat for their wrongs: both the prophet and the one who comes seeking their advice will face consequences.
11. This is to keep the Israel crew from straying or getting tangled up in their mess. Instead, they’ll be tight with me, and I’ll be their top boss, declares the Lord GOD.
12. God dropped another message on me, like, ‘yo, listen…’
13. Yo, listen up, son of man. When the land straight up disrespects me and crosses the line, I’m gonna act, no doubt. I’ll stretch out my hand and mess up the food supply, causing some serious hunger. Trust me, this consequence won’t spare humans or animals.
14. Even if Noah, Daniel, and Job were all in the same spot, they could only save themselves with their own righteousness, declares the Lord GOD.
15. If I send in crazy critters that wreck the place and turn it into a wasteland where no one can pass through because of these creatures.
16. For real, these three dudes won’t save anyone, swear to God, declares the Lord GOD. They’ll only save themselves, but the land is gonna be deserted.
17. And if I unleash a sword and say, ‘Yo, sword, go ahead and do your thing, cut through the land and wipe out all humans and animals,’
18. As the Lord GOD lives, I’m telling you straight up, these three dudes won’t save anyone else—only themselves. No sons or daughters will be spared, I swear.
19. Or, like, if I release a super intense disease in that area and let it go wild, causing a ton of violence and wiping out both people and animals:
20. Even if Noah, Daniel, and Job were chilling in that situation, swear to God, they couldn’t save their kids. They could only save themselves by being righteous.
21. Yo, listen up! The Lord GOD says, picture this: when I bring down my four major punishments on Jerusalem—sword, famine, wild creatures, and diseases—wiping out both humans and animals. It’s serious stuff!
22. But listen up, there’s gonna be a small crew left—a remnant, guys and girls. They’ll come out and you’ll see how they roll, what they’re about. And believe me, when you see all the tough stuff I did to Jerusalem, you’ll find some solace knowing it was for a reason.
23. And once you peep their actions and vibe with them, you’ll get it. You’ll see that everything I did had a solid reason behind it, says the Lord GOD.

1. So, like, God hit me up and was all like,
2. Yo, dude, why is the vine tree so much better than any other tree, or even a branch in the forest?
3. Why would anyone use that wood for something useful? Can’t picture someone trying to hang a vase on a tiny peg from it, lol.
4. Yo, peep this: this thing gets tossed in the fire to burn as fuel. The flames totally engulf both ends, and the middle part gets charred. Can it even be useful for anything after that? Like, is there any hope?
5. Yo, listen up! This thing used to be handy, but now it’s all burnt out. Seriously, it’s completely useless for any work. The fire totally wrecked it, man!
6. So God’s like, picture a vine tree in a forest, you know? Just like that tree’s used for firewood, I’m gonna do the same with the folks in Jerusalem.
7. And I’ll be completely done with them, like no more blessings heading their way. They’ll try to get out of one mess but just fall into an even bigger one. Then they’ll see that I’m the real deal, the LORD, when I turn away from them completely.
8. So, I’m gonna leave the land deserted because they seriously messed up and crossed the line, declares the Lord GOD.

1. Yo, God messaged me again, like,
2. Yo, dude, go tell Jerusalem straight up all the messed up stuff she’s doing.
3. And like, listen up, the Lord God is speaking to Jerusalem, like: Dude, your roots trace way back to Canaan, your original turf. Your old man was an Amorite and your mom was a Hittite. (Note: Canaan is like your homeland, and roots mean your ancestry.)
4. When you came into this world, none of the usual baby pampering happened – no cutting cords, no cozy blankets, not even a sprinkle of salt. It was just you, stripped down to basics.
5. No one cared for you, showed you love or kindness. You were left alone from day one, feeling unwanted and unloved.
6. And when I passed by you and saw you all messed up in your own blood, I was like, yo, when you were in that bloody state, I was like, live, dude; yeah, I totally said to you, when you were all covered in blood, live. (polluted: or, like, trampled on)
7. You’ve blossomed like a wildflower in the field, thriving and flourishing. You’ve been decked out with beautiful jewelry, your form has matured, and your hair has grown to cover what was once bare. You’ve changed from nothing into something truly amazing.
8. So, when I saw you, I was totally feeling the love vibes, you know? I was all about protecting you and covering up your vulnerable parts. I made a promise to you and we became close, says the Lord GOD, like you were completely mine.
9. So I cleansed you with water, totally washed away all your mess, and I anointed you with oil.
10. I decked you out in stylish threads, hooked you up with some fresh kicks made of badgers’ skin, wrapped you in high-end linen, and covered you with silk.
11. I showed off with some amazing bling, outfitting you with cool accessories like slick bracelets on your hands and a dope chain around your neck.
12. I hooked you up with a sick jewel on your forehead, dope earrings in your ears, and a mad beautiful crown on your head. (forehead: in Hebrew it’s nose)
13. So you were all decked out with gold and silver bling; your outfits were top-notch with fine linen, silk, and fancy embroidery. You were enjoying that high-quality grain, honey, and olive oil. And girl, you were absolutely stunning and flourishing, becoming a legitimate kingdom.
14. Yo, your beauty was so on point that even those who didn’t believe couldn’t help but talk about it. You were looking flawless because I, the Lord GOD, hooked you up with my own style.
15. But like, you started relying on your looks and getting all flirty because you were so popular, and you hooked up with anyone who came your way; everyone was all about you.
16. You took your clothes and used them to decorate your high places with flashy colors, and you engaged in promiscuous behavior there. Those kinds of things won’t happen again; it won’t be like before.
17. So you took the dope jewelry I gave you, made statues that look like people, and started getting involved with them.
18. Then you took your fancy clothes and draped them over those statues, and you proudly displayed my exclusive perfume and incense in front of them.
19. I gave you top-notch food—prime cuts, fancy flour, gourmet oil, and sweet honey. And what do you do? You serve it up to others, making everything smell and taste amazing. That’s how it went down, says the Lord GOD.
20. You’ve even taken your own children, whom you gave birth to for me, and have sacrificed them to be consumed by false idols. Isn’t this evidence enough of your immoral actions? You think it’s no big deal to indulge in such sins?
21. Hold up, did you actually take the lives of my children and present them as offerings? Seriously?
22. And all the messed up stuff you’ve been doing lately – like, for real? Have you forgotten how carefree and adventurous you used to be when you were younger? You were totally reckless and ended up in some seriously bad situations.
23. And just to let you know, after all the messed up things you’ve done (yeah, you’re in big trouble, says the Lord GOD;)
24. You went and built yourself a swanky pad, setting up shady hangouts on every street corner. (And by shady hangouts, I mean places where people do sketchy stuff.)
25. You’re out here flaunting and boasting everywhere you go, making people downright disgusted with your self-centeredness. And you’re just opening yourself up to anyone who comes along, diving headfirst into that promiscuous lifestyle of yours.
26. You really messed up by getting involved with those Egyptians, your neighbors who are all about that physical pleasure. And to make things worse, you’ve been getting even more promiscuous, which seriously ticks me off.
27. Listen up, I totally showed you up by messing with your vibe and made your basic stash of snacks disappear. I let you fall under the control of the crew that can’t stand you, the Philistine girls who think you’re way too scandalous. PS: They’re also embarrassed by your behavior.
28. You’ve been fooling around with the Assyrians too, always wanting more; yeah, you’ve been playing the field with them, but you’re still not satisfied.
29. Seriously though, you’ve ramped up your promiscuity big time, from Canaan all the way to Chaldea. And like, you’re still craving more of it.
30. Dude, your heart is seriously weak, says the Lord GOD, with you out here acting all arrogant and promiscuous.
31. You’ve been staking out every corner, claiming prime real estate. Unlike those who sell out for quick cash (or should I say, ‘In thy daughters is thine, etc’).
32. Like, picture a wife who cheats on her husband and hooks up with random people instead of staying loyal!
33. They give gifts to everyone who engages in promiscuity, but you give your gifts to all your lovers and bribe them, so they will come to you from all directions for your acts of promiscuity.
34. You’re totally standing out from the crowd with your promiscuity. No one wants to join you in your wild adventures. Plus, you’re handing out favors, but no one is giving you anything in return. That’s why you’re so different.
35. Yo, listen up, you who’s been messing around! God’s got something to say:
36. Listen up fam, this is what the Lord GOD has to say: Your shameful deeds were all out in the open, your secrets exposed because of your scandalous relationships and your worship of detestable idols. And let’s not forget the evil of sacrificing your own children to them.
37. Hear this: I’m gonna gather all your admirers and everyone you’ve ever been into or not. I’ll bring them all around you and lay bare your deepest secrets, letting them see the real you.
38. Dude, I’m gonna lay down some serious judgment on you, like how people judge those who betray their partners and cause harm. And believe me, I’m gonna be furious and jealous, and you’re gonna feel my wrath like a rushing flood. #judgment #wrath #jealousy
39. And I’ll give them power over you! They’re gonna wreck your favorite hangouts and tear down those places you think are untouchable. Not only that, they’ll embarrass you by stripping you of your trendy clothes and grabbing all your fancy bling, leaving you exposed and vulnerable. (Yeah, all those pieces you’re so into!)
40. They’ll come at you in a group, throwing serious shade and hitting you with harsh criticism and savage comebacks.
41. And they’re gonna totally set your houses on fire and publicly shame you in front of many people. And I’ll make you stop being promiscuous, and you won’t profit from it anymore either.
42. I’m gonna cool off my anger toward you, and my jealousy will fade away. I’ll chill out and won’t be raging anymore.
43. Yo, you’ve forgotten how things used to be when you were young, and now you’re always stressing me out with all this nonsense. Well, guess what? You’re gonna face the consequences for everything you’ve done. The Almighty Lord says so. And besides all the messed up stuff you’ve been doing, don’t even think about getting involved in any more disgusting things.
44. Check it, anyone who’s into sayings will drop this on you: ‘Like mother, like daughter.’
45. You’re basically following in your mom’s footsteps—she can’t stand her husband or her own siblings. And guess what? Your sisters are just like her, dissing their husbands and kids too. Oh, and FYI, your mom’s from the Hittites and your dad’s an Amorite.
46. Your older sis, Samaria, and her squad chill on your left. Your younger sis, Sodom, and her crew kick it on your right. Your sis on the right ain’t as big as you.
47. But yo, you haven’t been rolling with their vibes or getting into their messed up stuff. But real talk, even though it might seem minor, you’ve actually gone down a darker path than them in every way.
48. I swear on my name, says the Lord GOD, Sodom and her crew didn’t even come close to the messed up stuff that you and your squad pulled off.
49. Yo, listen up! Let me explain it to you. The issue with your sis Sodom was that they were all about pride, excessive wealth, and being lazy AF. They didn’t bother to help the poor and needy, which was not cool.
50. They were acting all self-important, pulling some messed up stuff right in front of me, so I decided to kick them out, just like that.
51. Samaria didn’t even do half the wrongs you did; you’ve taken it to the next level with your disgusting actions. And on top of that, you’ve made your sisters look innocent compared to you, even though you’ve done just as much messed up stuff as them.
52. Listen up, you who judge your sisters, own up to your shame for those sins you’ve committed that are even worse than theirs. They’re more righteous than you, for real. Yeah, you should be embarrassed and carry your shame, because you’ve been making excuses for your sisters, and that’s not cool.
53. When I restore the fortunes of Sodom and Samaria, and those taken captive with them, I will also bring back those who were taken captive from among you.
54. So you’re gonna have to face the embarrassment and feel ashamed for everything you’ve done, because you’ve been boosting their ego.
55. When your crew, Sodom and her crew, get back to their old ways, and Samaria and her crew get back to their old ways, then you and your crew will get back to your old ways too. #Goals
56. Back in the day when you thought you were top-notch, you never even mentioned Sodom, your sis. Like, it never even came up in your chats, you feel?
57. When your dirt was out in the open and people were dissing you, even the girls from Syria and all the nearby Philistine girls were straight-up mocking you.
58. You’ve fully embraced your wickedness and gross behavior, says the LORD. Like, seriously, you’ve gone all in on it.
59. Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD is saying: I’m gonna treat you just like you treated me. You totally dissed the promise and broke our agreement. Not cool, dude.
60. But don’t worry, I’ve always had your back. We made a pact back in your teenage days, and I’m gonna make it last forever.
61. When you finally realize what you’ve done and feel ashamed, I’ll reunite you with your sisters—the older and younger ones. I’ll consider them your daughters, but not under the terms you agreed to before.
62. And I’ll make a solid promise with you, so you’ll know that I am the LORD, for real.
63. So you’ll remember and just cringe hard, like never want to speak again because you’re so ashamed, when I forgive you for everything you’ve done, says the Lord GOD.

1. Yo, so, like, God totally hit me up and was like,
2. “Yo, listen up! I’ve got a mad brain teaser for y’all. Check it – I’m gonna drop some truth in story mode for the peeps of Israel.
3. And God was like, “Listen up! There was this dope eagle, with huge wings and tons of feathers. It was like the OG with a bunch of sick colors. This eagle flew all the way to Lebanon and landed on the tallest branch of a cedar tree.”
4. He chopped off the raddest branches and took them to a hip city; he placed them among successful business peeps.
5. He also found some lit seeds and planted them in a super fertile field. He set them beside a major water source and grew them into a tall and strong willow tree.
6. And it grew crazy fast, like this short vine that leaned toward its main guy. Its roots were deep underneath, keeping it grounded. So it became a full-on vine, with branches popping out and new sprigs shooting up.
7. Yo, there was another dope eagle, with huge wings and a ton of feathers, you know what I’m saying? And check it out, this vine flexed by curling its roots toward that eagle, and it straight up extended its branches toward it, so the eagle could water it through the furrows of its planting zone.
8. The vine was planted in a prime spot by some fresh water, so it could sprout mad branches and produce some righteous fruit. It was meant to be a top-notch vine, you know? Like, the absolute best.
9. Yo, listen up, this is what the Lord GOD is saying: Will it thrive? Won’t He just yank it up, cut off its fruit, and let it wither? It’ll dry up, even without a major force or a crew to pull it up by its roots.
10. Yo, listen up! Check it: if a plant gets planted, is it gonna thrive? Nah, when that east wind blows, it’s gonna dry up completely. It’ll wither right where it started growing.
11. So, like, the LORD totally hit me up and was all like,
12. Yo, all you rebellious peeps, you got any clue what’s going down? Look, the king of Babylon rolled into Jerusalem, grabbed the king and the princes, and hauled them off to Babylon.
13. He snagged some of the king’s fam, made a deal with him, and got him to swear an oath. He also brought in all the big shots in the land.
14. So the kingdom stays humble and doesn’t get too cocky, ’cause its strength comes from staying true to the covenant.
15. But then he went and betrayed him by sending his crew to Egypt for horses and a big entourage. Is he really gonna get away with that? Will he just bounce back after pulling such a move? Or is he gonna totally ditch the deal and deal with the consequences?
16. I swear, says the Lord GOD, for real, in the place where the king resides, the same king who dissed the oath he made and broke the covenant, right there in the heart of Babylon he’s gonna meet his end.
17. Yo, Pharaoh and his whole army won’t be able to touch him in battle, even if they try to fortify themselves and set traps for many people.
18. Seriously, he totally betrayed that promise when he flat-out broke the agreement, man. I mean, he even shook hands and went ahead with it all. Well, guess what? There’s no way he’s getting away with it.
19. So this is what the Lord GOD says: Oh, I swear by my life, he completely betrayed my promise and outright broke our agreement. Well, guess what? I’m gonna ensure he faces the consequences. It’s gonna hit him hard!
20. Yo, I’m gonna snare him like a pro with my slick net and haul him off to Babylon. I’ll straight up call him out there for all the messed up things he did against me.
21. And all his posse and followers will be cut down by the sword, and those who remain will be scattered everywhere. Then you’ll know that I, the LORD, have spoken.
22. Yo, check it out! This is what the Lord GOD is saying: I’m gonna take the raddest branch from the tallest cedar tree and set it on a epic high mountain. I’ll clip off a fresh and tender twig from the very top and plant it there, like a boss!
23. I’m gonna plant this mega awesome tree on a crazy tall mountain in Israel. It’s gonna sprout some sick branches, bear fruit, and be a majestic cedar. All sorts of birds with fancy wings will hang out under it and chill in the shade of its branches.
24. And like, all the trees in the field will totally recognize that I, the LORD, brought down the tall tree, lifted up the low tree, dried up the green tree, and made the dry tree flourish. I, the LORD, have spoken and made it go down, no doubt.

1. Yo, God hit me up again, and he was like,
2. Yo, why y’all keep saying this about Israel, like ‘the parents ate sour grapes, so now the kids’ teeth are messed up’? What’s your point?
3. I swear, says the big man upstairs, you won’t be tossing that saying around in Israel anymore.
4. Yo, check it! Just so you know, I’m the boss of all souls – no exceptions! Whether you’re a dad or a kid, your soul is mine. But here’s the deal: if a soul messes up, it’s gonna bite the dust, no doubt about it.
5. But yo, if someone keeps it real and decides to do what’s right and just, you know, like making smart moves and acting with honor, that’s what counts. It’s all about bringing about fairness and righteousness, you dig?
6. And hasn’t been into fancy feasts in lofty places, nor caught up with household idols. Hasn’t messed around with someone else’s partner, and hasn’t even come near a woman during her time of the month.
7. And hasn’t treated anyone unfairly, but has paid back what was owed to those in debt, hasn’t pushed people around, has shared grub with the hungry, and has hooked up the threadbare with clothes.
8. Someone who doesn’t charge interest when lending money, and doesn’t hustle for extra profit, who steers clear of shady dealings, and judges fairly in disputes between folks,
9. They’ve been keeping it real by following my commands and being just. They’ll live on for sure, says the Lord GOD.
10. If a guy has a son who’s all about stealing and causing violence, you know, doing sketchy stuff like breaking into houses and all that, being shady to his homies, well, that’s not cool.
11. And someone who avoids all that drama, but instead hangs out and disrespects their neighbor’s spouse,
12. This person has been exploiting the poor and needy, seizing their belongings forcefully, not repaying debts, and worshiping false gods. They’ve done some seriously messed up stuff.
13. If someone loans money with interest, squeezing even more out of it, can they really live a good life? No way! Anyone who does these shady deeds deserves consequences. They’ve piled up so much wrongdoing, and they’ll have to answer for it.
14. Picture this: if the old man has a kid who sees all the messed up stuff he’s done, thinks about it, and decides not to go down that path.
15. If someone hasn’t indulged in fancy feasts on mountaintops, or checked out those trendy idols the Israelites are into, or gotten involved in their neighbor’s messy relationships,
16. They haven’t harmed anyone, they haven’t taken anything as security, they haven’t grabbed things forcefully. Instead, they’ve shared their grub with the hungry and hooked up those who needed clothes. They haven’t exploited others or held back what they owed.
17. If someone’s real enough to help out the poor without looking for payback, and they stick to my rules, they won’t be punished for their ancestors’ mistakes – they’ll keep living.
18. As for his pops, he was a straight-up bully who messed with his bro and did messed up stuff to his peeps. So, you know what’s up? He’s gonna face what’s coming to him and deal with the consequences of his actions.
19. But wait, here’s the deal: Why should the son pay for his dad’s mistakes? If the son does what’s right and follows all my rules, he’ll definitely thrive and live his best life.
20. If you mess up, you gotta own it. Kids aren’t responsible for their parents’ mistakes, and vice versa. Those who do right will be blessed, and those who do wrong will face the music.
21. But if someone who’s been messing up can turn it around, quit the sins, follow all my rules, and start doing what’s fair and just, they’ll live and not face death.
22. They won’t be judged by their past mistakes; they’ll be acknowledged for the good they do and find success.
23. Do I even vibe with it when the wicked bite the dust? Nope, says the Lord GOD. I’d rather they flip the script and start living right, you know?
24. But hey, when a righteous person ditches their goodness and starts pulling shady moves, mimicking all the messed-up stuff the wicked do, can they really keep on living? All the good they did before won’t count for squat. It’s all about the mistakes and sins they’ve racked up—those are what’ll bring them down.
25. But if you’re saying, ‘God’s not fair,’ listen up, fam of Israel! Isn’t my way totally fair? Aren’t your ways the messed-up ones?
26. When a good person flips and starts doing wrong, and then kicks it while still in that vibe, they’ll face the consequences for all that. Yeah, they’ll face it because of all that wrong.
27. Yo, when someone who’s been all mean and wicked decides to switch it up and starts doing what’s right, showing respect and all, they’ll save their soul, you feel?
28. Bro, if he seriously thinks about all the messed up stuff he’s been into and does a complete 180, he’s gonna turn things around and live his best life, no doubt. No death sentence for him.
29. But the people of Israel argue, saying, ‘God’s not being fair.’ Come on, Israel, aren’t my ways fair? Aren’t your ways the ones that are messed up?
30. So listen up, fam, the Lord GOD is about to drop some truth on you, Israel. He’s gonna judge each of you based on what you’ve done, for real. It’s time to turn things around, repent, and ditch all your wrongs. That’s how you avoid getting wrecked by your sins. Trust that.
31. Cut out all that negativity and start fresh with a new mindset and vibe. Seriously, why keep messing things up, fam? Israel, level up or it’s gonna be a mess.
32. Yo, just to be clear, I’m not about rejoicing over someone’s death, says the LORD GOD. So, why not turn things around and start living your best life? Trust me, it’s worth it. #YOLO

1. Yo, let’s drop a heartfelt tribute for the rad kids of Israel,
2. Yo, check it out, who’s your mom, for real? She’s a total boss lioness, kickin’ it with the lions, raisin’ her cubs among these fierce young lions. That’s how epic she is, dude.
3. So she raised one of her cubs; it grew into a fierce lion, sharpenin’ its hunting game, feastin’ on peeps.
4. Other nations were like, yo, they nabbed him and threw him in their trap, then hauled him off to Egypt all chained up.
5. When she saw that she had waited a long time and her hope was gone, she picked one of her cubs and raised it to be a fierce young lion.
6. So he flexed hard, hung with the lions, became a fierce young lion, and totally bossed the hunting game, feasting on humans like a pro.
7. And he straight up wrecked their fancy mansions and laid waste to their cities. The land became totally deserted because of the thunderous roar of his furious rampage.
8. So, like, all these nations came at him from every direction, surrounding him from different sides, and trapped him in their sneaky plan. And bam, they finally caught him in their little trap.
9. So they cuffed him up with chains and hauled him off to the king of Babylon. They put him in lockdown, muting his voice so it wouldn’t echo through the mountains of Israel. 💔
10. Yo, your mom’s like a vine planted by some fresh water, running through your veins. She was super fruitful, with branches goin’ everywhere ’cause of all that water. #blessed
11. She had these legit powerful scepters for rulers, and her vibe was like, way up there among the thick branches, totally slaying with her many branches.
12. But then, things went down – she got wrecked big time, thrown to the ground. This insane east wind dried up all her fruit. Her strong branches got snapped and dried out, and the fire straight-up burned them to ashes.
13. Now she’s stranded in the middle of nowhere, like in a total desert with no water or anything.
14. Fire burned up the branches of her rod, destroying all the fruit. Now she has no powerful rod to rule as a scepter. This is a sorrowful song, and it will be heard as a sorrowful song.

1. So, like, in the seventh year, on the fifth month and the tenth day, a crew of these super-important elders from Israel rolled up to ask the LORD some deep stuff. And they straight up sat in front of me, yo.
2. And then God hit me up, saying,
3. Yo, listen up! I got a message from the Lord GOD for all you elders of Israel. He’s like, “Are you seriously coming to ask me something? As the Almighty lives, I ain’t answering your questions.”
4. Yo, dude, you gonna call ’em out? Tell ’em straight about the messed up stuff their ancestors pulled.
5. Check it, here’s what the Lord GOD says: Back in the day, when I chose Israel and showed myself to them in Egypt, I swore to be their God. I threw up my hand to seal the deal, you know what I’m saying? So, just remember, I’m the real deal, the LORD your God.
6. Back when I made that promise and swore to lead them out of Egypt to this epic land I scoped out for them—like, flowing with milk and honey, the sickest place on earth.
7. And I was all like, “Yo, peeps, drop all that gross stuff you’re into and don’t even think about messing with those Egyptian idols, okay? ‘Cause I’m the LORD your God, no doubt about it.”
8. But they totally dissed me, ignored my words, and refused to dump all the messed-up stuff they were into. They kept on with their idol obsession and were still vibing with Egypt. So I was like, “Okay, I’m gonna let loose my anger on them and give ’em a piece of my mind right there in Egypt.”
9. But I did it to keep my rep solid, so it wouldn’t get trashed by all those non-believers. They were watching closely as I showed off by pulling my people out of Egypt.
10. So, I totally helped them bounce from Egypt and took them to the wilderness, you know?
11. So, I laid down these awesome guidelines for them to follow, and made sure they knew how to make the right calls. If they stick to these guidelines, they’ll live an incredible life! Just saying, it’s pretty straightforward, you know?
12. I even set them up with my chill weekends, to show we’re close and that I’m the one who keeps them blessed.
13. But the crew of Israel straight up rebelled against me out in the wild: they ignored my rules and dissed my decisions. If they had followed them, things would’ve been smooth and they would’ve really prospered; instead, they totally trashed my sacred days. So I was like, I’m gonna let my anger loose on them right here in the wilderness and just clean house.
14. I did what I did to keep my rep solid and not let the non-believers diss me, ’cause they were watching when I set my people free.
15. But I swore a serious oath to them when we were out in the wild, promising not to lead them to the awesome land I had already planned for them. It’s seriously an amazing place, with delicious food and incredible blessings. Like, the ultimate spot ever!
16. Because they totally dissed my rules and didn’t roll with my way of doing things. They messed up my chill relaxation days, ’cause deep down, they were more into their own obsessions.
17. But I chose not to wipe them out completely, even though they were acting all rebellious and stuff. I could’ve just left them stranded in the wilderness, but nah, I gave ’em another chance.
18. Yo, I was out in the wilderness dropping truth bombs to their kids, like, “Don’t just blindly follow your folks’ rules, and definitely don’t get caught up in their idols and stuff.”
19. “I’m the LORD your God, so chill with my rules, stay woke to my judgments, and actually follow through with them;
20. And keep my sabbaths on point; they’re like a rad connection between me and you, so you know I’m your almighty God.”
21. But yo, those kids totally rebelled against me. They straight up didn’t follow my rules or do what I said, which, if you do, you’ll totally thrive. They even messed up my chill resting days. So I was like, I’m gonna let my anger loose on them and teach them a lesson in the wilderness.
22. But then I decided to chill and do my thing for the sake of my rep, you know? Didn’t wanna mess up my vibe in front of those non-believers, ’cause they were watching when I brought my people outta there.
23. I swore to them when we were out in the wilderness that I would scatter them among different nations and spread them out across the lands.
24. But they straight up didn’t follow my rules, dissed my laws, trashed my chill sabbaths, and were all obsessed with their ancestors’ idols. SMH.
25. So, I gave them some rules that weren’t cool, like statutes and judgments that definitely wouldn’t lead to a good life.
26. And I messed up their offerings, man, because they were sacrificing all their firstborns by passing them through the fire. It was messed up, bro. I did it to show them how messed up they were, and to make them realize that I’m the LORD, you know?
27. Yo, check it out, fam. God wants me to relay a message to the people of Israel. He’s saying their ancestors seriously dissed Him by going too far and doing stuff they shouldn’t. Not cool, man.
28. So, when I finally brought them to the land that I promised, they couldn’t help but notice the breathtaking tall hills and lush trees. And guess what they did? They went ahead and made sacrifices there, which really got to me. They even filled the air with sweet fragrances and poured out drink offerings.
29. So, I was like, ‘Hey guys, where you off to, that fancy spot?’ And they were like, ‘Oh, it’s called Bamah, still known as that today.’
30. Yo, Israelites, check it out! The Lord GOD has a message for you. Are you walking the same messed-up path as your ancestors? Are you getting caught up in their wicked ways?
31. Yo, people! When you present your gifts, make your kids go through the fire, and worship idols, you’re seriously messing yourselves up, even till today. And then you wanna come to me, asking for things, O house of Israel? Listen up, I swear on my name, says the Lord GOD, I ain’t listening to your requests.
32. And don’t even think about saying, ‘We’re gonna be like those non-believers, following their weird gods made of wood and stone.’
33. I swear, says the Lord GOD, I’ll totally show you my power, strength, and intense anger.
34. I’m gonna rescue you from all those places you were scattered to and gather you together with some serious power and anger.
35. I’m gonna bring you where it’s all going down, and then we’re gonna have a real talk, no filters.
36. Remember how I was there with your ancestors when they were chilling in the wilderness of Egypt? Well, I’m gonna be there with you too, says the Lord GOD.
37. And I’ll lead you through a cool challenge, bringing you into the tight bond of our covenant: you’ll receive deliverance!
38. And I’ll totally kick out all the rebels and those who disrespect me. They can’t hang in the place where they’re chilling, and they won’t get to enter Israel. And you’ll totally recognize that I’m the LORD.
39. Listen up, fam! The Man upstairs has a message for you, Israel crew. He’s like, ‘Alright, do your thing, worship your idols, I guess. But remember, if you’re not gonna listen to me, don’t disrespect my holy name with your gifts and idols anymore, got it?!
40. Yo, check it out! The Lord GOD says that on my holy mountain, the highest spot in Israel, all the house of Israel will serve me. Everyone, all the people in the land, will worship and honor me there. That’s where I’ll be stoked about your offerings, your best stuff, and all the sacred things you bring. And just so you know, firstfruits mean the top-notch stuff.
41. I’m totally there for you when I rescue you from everyone and gather you from all the places you’ve been scattered. I’m gonna show off through you in front of all those non-believers.
42. And you’ll know that I am the LORD when I bring you back to the land of Israel, to the place I promised to your ancestors.
43. Then you’ll look back on your choices and all the wrong you’ve done, how you messed up. You’ll be disgusted with yourselves, realizing all the bad stuff you’ve done.
44. And you’ll totally know that I am the LORD when I’ve been doing all these epic things for my reputation, not because you guys were being totally sinful and corrupt and stuff, you know, house of Israel, says the Lord GOD.
45. So, like, the LORD dropped me a message, and He was like,
46. Yo, son of man, look south and drop some truth down there. Prophesy against the forest in the southern field.
47. Yo, listen up, southern forest! God’s sending you a message. He’s like, ‘Get ready, ’cause I’m about to bring a fire that’ll blaze through every single tree, green or dried out. This fire’s gonna be so fierce, nothing can put it out. And you know what? It’s gonna scorch everyone’s faces from south to north!’
48. And everyone will see that I, the LORD, ignited it—it won’t be extinguished.
49. And I was like, ‘Yo, Lord GOD!’ People were wondering, like, does he always speak in riddles and stuff?

1. And God hit me up, like,
2. Yo, dude, pay attention! Keep your eyes on Jerusalem and preach about those holy places. Share your prophecy about the land of Israel, bro.
3. Yo, listen up, Israel! The Lord has a message for y’all. He’s telling you He’s coming for you, and He’s gonna bring out His sword to separate the good from the bad.
4. So, like, ’cause I’m gonna separate the righteous from the not-so-righteous, my sword’s gonna come out and do its thing, cutting down every living being from south to north. Just saying’.
5. So, like, everyone needs to know that I, the LORD, totally pulled out my sword from its sheath, and it’s not going back in, like, ever.
6. So, like, seriously man, just let out a deep sigh, feeling that weight in your gut, and show them how serious it is.
7. And when they ask you why you’re sighing, you’ll say, ‘Because of the news that’s coming, it’s about to happen!’ Everyone’s gonna be scared stiff, their hearts will melt, their hands will tremble, their spirits will falter, and their knees will turn to jelly. Look, it’s going down, says the Lord GOD.
8. So, like, the LORD spoke to me again, and He was like,
9. Yo, dude, pay attention and spread the word from the big guy up there. He says, ‘Get ready for some serious action because a sharp-as-heck, polished sword is about to come down!’
10. It’s all sharpened and ready to make a scene; it’s polished to shine bright. So, should we really be celebrating? It dishonors my son’s authority, just like it dishonors every other tree.
11. And he’s made it all shiny and stuff, so it’s ready to go: this sword is super sharp, and it’s all polished, ready to be given to the one who will wield it to slay.
12. Yo, check it out, fam: get ready to cry and wail, ’cause tough times are coming for my crew, even the big shots. They gonna be shook, swords causing mad fear. So go on, smack your thigh in despair.
13. Yo, listen up! This is just a test, you feel? Like, what if the sword talks smack to the rod? But chill, says the Lord GOD, that ain’t gonna go down anymore, aight? When the test wraps up, everything gonna be straight, no stress!
14. Yo, fam, check it out. Pay attention, yo. Here’s some deep prophecy drop — clap them hands, yo. It’s about to get real, like double sword action, triple threat. This sword ain’t messing around, it’s aimed at the big players, taking them out right in their own spots. Yeah, you heard it, straight into their private chambers.
15. I got my sword pointed at all their entrances, making their hearts drop and their downfall inevitable. Oh snap! This sword is gleaming, primed for a major showdown. (It’s like, crazy sharp and all.)
16. Just go wherever you please, left or right, your call. It’s all on you!
17. I’m gonna clap my hands and cool off my anger. Yup, the LORD said it.
18. So, like, the LORD hit me up again and was all,
19. “Yo, dude, listen up! As a human, I need you to scout out two routes for the sword of the King of Babylon. They gotta start from the same place, ya feel? Pick a super strategic spot, like right at the city gates or something.”
20. Send a route for the sword to go to Rabbath of the Ammonites and to fortified Jerusalem in Judah.
21. So, check it, the king of Babylon was at this crossroads, right? Two paths and he’s all about divination, trying to figure his next move. He’s shining up his arrows, checking out these funky images. Oh, and get this, he’s even peeping at the liver. Like, who does that? Super weird, right?
22. Right by him was the plan for Jerusalem, organizing crews, getting the hype going, shouting battle cries, rolling out battering rams to bust through the gates, setting up ramps, and fortifying the stronghold.
23. It’s gonna be like bogus fortune-telling for those who made promises, but watch out— their sins will catch up with them.
24. So here’s the word from the Lord GOD: You’ve made quite a reputation for yourselves with all your wrongs, flaunting your sins for all to see in everything you do. Well, guess what? You won’t get away with it. You’ll be caught in the act.
25. And you, like, totally disrespectful and wicked ruler of Israel, your time is up. The day is here when all the evil you’ve done will come crashing down.
26. Yo, check it! The Lord GOD is like, “Yo, take off that fancy diadem and crown, ’cause things are about to switch up, my friend! Let’s show love and respect to the humble ones, and bring down those who think they’re all that.”
27. I’m gonna flip this upside down, and it’s gonna be wiped clean until the rightful one comes. And when he does, I’ll hand it over to him. I’m flipping it completely… like, totally flipping it.
28. Yo, dude! Pay attention, son of man. I got a message from the Lord GOD about those Ammonites and their disrespect. Tell ’em this: the sword is primed and ready! Gleaming and razor-sharp, set to bring down devastation and ruin.
29. When people try to trick you with empty lies and false forecasts, pulling you into the hands of the wicked who are doomed to fail, their evil ways will come to an end.
30. Should I put it away again? Nope, I’m gonna judge you right where you were born, in your own land.
31. I’m gonna be really mad at you, like seriously mad. I’ll send intense fire and wrath your way, and hand you over to ruthless and skilled destroyers. These guys mean business, no joke.
32. You’re gonna be toast, blood splattered all over, and folks won’t even remember your name. ‘Cause the big man upstairs, the LORD, He’s laid it down.

1. Yo fam, check it, God hit me up with a message, and here’s what He dropped,
2. “Yo, dude, you gotta peep this messed-up city and speak truth on all the shady stuff they’re into. (And by judgments, I mean, like, stand up for what’s right and call out the truth).”
3. So, peep this, God’s like, ‘Yo, listen up, everyone! This city is straight-up causing chaos and violence, like it’s asking for trouble. Plus, it’s out here making all these stupid idols that just bring shame on itself.’
4. You’ve seriously messed up by shedding blood and worshiping those idols you made yourself. Your clock’s ticking, and now you’re a joke among the nations.
5. Yo, everyone’s gonna be throwing shade at you, whether they’re right next to you or miles away. It’s ’cause you’ve got this rep for being notorious and always ticked off. Like, seriously infamous… your name’s all tarnished, and you stay mad all the time.
6. Check it out, the leaders of Israel, each one had the power to make things pretty bloody in your hood.
7. They dissed their parents big time, played dirty with strangers, and made life hell for orphans and widows in your crew. (Oh, and that whole lying thing? It’s like extra bad vibes.)
8. You dissed my sacred stuff and totally harshed my chill weekends.
9. Yo, there are peeps among you spreading rumors just to wreck others, and they’re all about partying it up on the mountains. Plus, they’re getting into some shady stuff right in your circle.
10. They straight up aired their ancestors’ dirty laundry through you and dissed the one who should’ve been honored.
11. So, like, someone went and hooked up with his neighbor’s wife, another dissed his daughter-in-law big time, and yet another got with his own half-sis. (Just to be clear, when we say ‘someone’ or ‘another,’ we mean all the players in these messed up situations.)
12. You’ve been taking bribes to spill blood, making a profit off loans and interest, selfishly extorting your neighbors, and straight-up forgetting about me, says the Lord GOD.
13. Listen up! I can’t ignore how you’ve been chasing after that sketchy cash and all the violence going down in your hood.
14. Are you ready for this? Can you stand strong when I come for you? Believe me, I, the LORD, am telling you straight up—I’m gonna make it go down.
15. So, I’m gonna scatter you all over the map and spread you out among the nations. And you know what? I’m gonna scrub away all the dirt and make you squeaky clean again!
16. You gotta own who you are, even in front of those who doubt. That’s when you’ll see I’m the boss. And hey, don’t let anyone diss your identity, alright?
17. “God dropped me a DM with this message:”
18. Yo, listen up, peeps! God’s saying the Israelites have gone off the rails. They’re like a mix of cheap metals — brass, tin, iron, and lead all melted together. Basically, they’re like the impurities you get when refining silver.
19. Here’s how the Lord God’s putting it: Yo, y’all have become totally useless. So here’s the deal—I’m gonna gather all of you right in the heart of Jerusalem.
20. Just like when folks collect silver, brass, iron, lead, and tin, toss it in a furnace, and crank up the heat to melt it all down, I’m gonna gather you all in my anger and fury and leave you there to melt. It’s gonna be a massive meltdown, like straight-up literal. Just like how it was originally meant in Hebrew, “according to the gathering.”
21. Yeah, I’m gonna gather you up and let my fiery anger loose on you. You’ll be totally melted in the middle of it all.
22. Picture silver getting melted in a furnace? Well, that’s exactly what’s gonna happen to y’all. And believe me, you’ll know it’s me, the LORD, bringing down all my anger on you.
23. Yo, the LORD reached out to me and said,
24. “Yo, tell her straight up – you’re like a land that hasn’t been washed or blessed during times of anger.”
25. Yo, there’s this crew of prophets in there, totally schemin’ together. They’re all fierce, like hungry lions on the hunt. They’ve straight up snatched souls and grabbed all the valuables and bling. And man, they’ve left a bunch of widows in their wake.
26. Yo, these priests are disrespecting my law and treating my sacred stuff with no regard. They don’t even bother to distinguish between what’s holy and what’s not, or what’s clean and what’s not. They out here neglecting my sabbaths, making me look bad in the process.
27. The leaders there are acting like hungry wolves, always out to prey on others, causing violence, and ruining lives just to satisfy their own selfish desires.
28. And those fake prophets have been painting a fake picture for them, promoting worthless things and spreading lies, saying, “This is what the Lord GOD says,” when the LORD hasn’t actually spoken.
29. The people out there have been shady, straight up robbing and mistreating the underprivileged, making life hard for those in need. They’re even discriminating against outsiders for no good reason. (Note: ‘Oppression’ can also mean using deceitful tactics and ‘wrongfully’ implies doing stuff they have no business doing.)
30. So, like, I was searching for someone among them who could step up and handle things, standing in the gap to protect the land from getting wrecked. But seriously, I couldn’t find anyone. It’s a total bummer.
31. So, I let loose my anger on them and burned them up with my furious rage. I made sure they faced the consequences of their own choices, that’s what the Lord GOD said.

1. Yo, God dropped me another message, you dig?
2. Yo, check it out! There were these two sisters, right? And get this—they had the same mom!
3. And these two girls got into some shady business back in Egypt; they were on some sketchy vibes from a young age: they let others get too close, messed with their innocence and all.
4. So these two girls, Aholah and Aholibah, were like sisters to each other. They were mine and had children. Aholah, also known as Samaria, and Aholibah, also known as Jerusalem, were their names. Aholah means ‘His tent’ or ‘tabernacle’ and Aholibah means ‘My tabernacle is in her.’
5. And Aholah was all about that fling life with me; she totally fell for her crushes, those Assyrians living nearby,
6. They were rocking trendy blue outfits, all these good-looking dudes, riding slick horses like total pros.
7. So she got with all these popular guys from Assyria and put them on a pedestal. She did some messed up things with them and got deeply involved in their false idol worship. It was a serious defiling situation.
8. She didn’t let go of that promiscuous lifestyle she picked up in Egypt. When she was younger, she had flings with multiple partners who took advantage of her innocence, leaving her feeling used and exploited.
9. So I let her go after her crushes, to the Assyrians she was so into.
10. These people aired her dirty laundry, took away her kids, and violently ended her life. Her scandal spread like wildfire among women, as they executed divine justice on her.
11. When her sister Aholibah saw all this go down, she went totally overboard with her love for all the wrong things, even more than her sister. She took her promiscuity to a whole new level, outdoing even her sister’s antics.
12. She was completely obsessed with the Assyrians next door. They were always decked out in the freshest threads and riding around on the sickest horses, chilling with a crew of good-looking guys.
13. Then it hit me—she was corrupted, and they were heading down the same path together,
14. And she got even more into her promiscuity: she saw men portrayed on the wall, with images of the Chaldeans painted in vibrant colors,
15. They rocked fancy belts around their waists, decked out in stylish headwear, and carried themselves like royalty, just like the Babylonian cool kids from Chaldea, their homeland.
16. And as soon as she saw them, she was totally obsessed and started texting them from Chaldea.
17. Then the Babylonians slid into her DMs, and their loose ways tainted her purity. She got caught up in their drama, and her loyalty drifted from those who really cared. [Note: Babylonians are people from Babel and ‘alienated’ means disconnected or distanced.]
18. So, like, she fully embraced her promiscuity and exposed her shame, you know? And that’s when I was like, done with her… just like I was done with her sister.
19. But she kept on going after promiscuity, reminiscing about her wild youth when she acted without thinking back in Egypt.
20. She was obsessed with their flings, whose bodies were like donkeys and whose emissions were like those of horses.
21. So, like, remember how wild you were back in the day, messing around with those Egyptians and their sketchy desires when you were young and naive?
22. Yo, Aholibah! Listen up from the Lord GOD: I’m gonna bring your exes back into your life, the ones you’ve been ignoring. They’re coming at you from all directions!
23. The Babylonians, Chaldeans, Pekod, Shoa, Koa, and even the Assyrians—they were all top-notch, high-ranking guys and leaders, with loads of power and fame, cruising around on horses.
24. And they’re gonna pull up on you with their dope rides, chariots, and wheels, plus a massive crew armed with shields, helmets, and defensive gear. It’s gonna be heavy, like a day of reckoning, where they’ll deliver their own judgment on you.
25. And I’ll be super ticked off at you, like OMG, and people are gonna go all out on you—like, seriously furious. They’re gonna snatch your nose and ears, and anyone left is gonna get wiped out by some serious sword action. Your kids too, like, they’re gonna be taken away, and whatever’s left will be totally consumed by fire.
26. They’ll totally strip you of your clothes and take all your bling.
27. So I’m gonna stop your messed-up ways and your promiscuity that started back in Egypt. You won’t even look at them or think about Egypt anymore.
28. Hey, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD is saying: I’m gonna hand you over to your enemies, the ones you can’t stand and have totally ghosted.
29. They’re gonna mess you up, take everything you’ve worked for, and leave you feeling super exposed. All your shameful actions and bad decisions will be out there for everyone to see.
30. I’m doing this because you’ve been chasing after those non-believers and getting all tangled up with their idols.
31. You’ve been acting just like your sister, so now I’m gonna hand you her cup.
32. Yo, listen up! The Lord GOD says you’re gonna drink from your sister’s cup, and it’s gonna be a huge serving. Get ready to be laughed at and mocked, ’cause there’s a lot of humiliation coming your way. It’s gonna be a lot to deal with, no joke.
33. You’re gonna be totally wasted and feeling super down, drinking the cup of shock and emptiness, just like your sis Samaria.
34. You’re gonna chug it all down, and then smash the cup and tear at yourself, ’cause your boy God said so. Mic drop, Lord GOD out.
35. So, check it—God’s saying: ‘You totally forgot about me and ignored me. Because of that, you gotta face the consequences of your messed-up actions and promiscuity.’
36. Yo, the LORD was like, ‘Hey, son of man, are you gonna judge Aholah and Aholibah? You need to call out all their messed-up stuff, their abominations and everything. But hey, you can also plead for them if you want, no pressure.’
37. They’ve cheated on their partners and taken lives, being unfaithful with their idols. They’ve even sacrificed their own kids to these idols, burning them up.
38. They seriously crossed the line with this. They totally messed up my sacred place and disrespected my chill Sundays.
39. So, get this—they sacrificed their own kids to their idols, then had the audacity to waltz right into my sacred place on the same day, totally disrespecting it. Can you believe it? They pulled this messed-up act right in the heart of my house.
40. You even invited these stylish guys from far away, sent them messages, and they actually showed up! You went all out—took a shower, put on fresh makeup, and wore your best bling to impress them!
41. You sat on a fancy bed with a cool table set up in front of it, using my incense and oil on it.
42. There were a bunch of people hanging out with her, having a good time. Some random guys brought Sabeans from the wilderness, who put cool bracelets on their wrists and dope crowns on their heads.
43. So I was talking to this person who’s been around the block with cheating and stuff, and I was like, are they seriously gonna keep hooking up with her, and she’s gonna keep hooking up with them? Like, really?
44. But they hooked up with her like people hook up with someone who’s really into hooking up. That’s how they hooked up with Aholah and Aholibah, those immoral women.
45. And the righteous dudes, they’ll totally call them out for being super sketchy and doing shady stuff, you know? ‘Cause they’re completely unfaithful and they’ve done some seriously messed-up things. It’s all on their hands.
46. Yo, listen up fam! Here’s what the Lord GOD said: I’m gonna gather a whole crew against them and let them get taken down and plundered. They’ll totally be removed and stripped bare. Trust me, it’s gonna happen!
47. And the whole squad will throw rocks at them and attack with swords. They’ll straight up kill their kids and burn down their houses with fire.
48. So listen up, everyone! I’m gonna put a stop to all this inappropriate stuff happening around here, so that everyone, especially the ladies, can learn to stop following your bad example.
49. And you’ll face the consequences of your wickedness and idol worship. Then you’ll realize that I, the Lord GOD, am in charge.

1. So, like, in the ninth year, on the tenth month, on the tenth day of the month, the LORD hit me up, and He said,
2. Yo fam, jot down the name of this epic day: it’s when the king of Babylon rolled up on Jerusalem, no cap.
3. Aight, listen up fam. Let me drop some wisdom on the rebellious squad. The Lord GOD be like, grab a pot, put it on the stove, and pour in some water, you know what I’m saying?
4. Gather all the prime cuts—like the thigh and shoulder—in one spot. Make sure it’s loaded with the top-notch bones.
5. Pick the best animal from the herd, roast it thoroughly with its bones intact. Let it cook to perfection, bones simmering in the pot.
6. Yo, check it! This is what the Lord GOD says: Man, that city is messed up! It’s like a pot full of nasty stuff that won’t quit. Take it out piece by piece, and let no good come to it.
7. Her blood is splattered everywhere; she poured it on a rock instead of the ground, so it wouldn’t get covered in dust.
8. I made sure their blood spilled on high ground where it couldn’t be hidden, fueling their anger for revenge.
9. So God’s like, ‘Listen up! This city is seriously messed up! I’m gonna set a huge bonfire and burn up all their wickedness.’
10. Throw in a bunch of wood, ignite the fire, cook the meat all the way through, season it just right, and make sure those bones burn completely.
11. Let it roast on the fire till it’s scorching hot, burning away all the grime and stains.
12. She’s worn out from all the lies, but her huge deceit won’t fade—it’s gonna burn in the fire.
13. Your wickedness is straight-up unholy. I’ve tried to cleanse you, but you ain’t been cooperating. Now you’re stuck in your filth, and no amount of scrubbing will help until I unleash my anger on you.
14. Listen up, fam! The Most High, the LORD, has spoken, and believe me, it’s happening. There’s no turning back, no mercy spared, no change of heart. You’ll be judged by your actions and how you live, says the Lord GOD.
15. So, like, God reached out to me and was like,
16. Yo, listen up, son of man. I’m gonna take away the things you hold dear, just like that. But don’t even think about grieving or shedding any tears. You won’t shed a single tear, fam.
17. Don’t cry or mourn for the dead. Keep your head up, put on your shoes, don’t cover your mouth, and don’t eat regular food.
18. So, like, I spoke to the peeps in the morning, you know? And then, in the evening, my wife passed away. But, believe it or not, fam, I still did what I had to do in the morning, just like I was supposed to!
19. And the peeps were like, ‘Hey, can you fill us in on what’s going on and why?’
20. So, I was like, ‘Yo, listen up, everyone!’ The LORD dropped some wisdom on me and said,
21. Yo, tell the peeps of Israel this message from the Lord GOD: Look, I’m gonna desecrate my holy place—the place you cherish, the source of your pride, and even the people you love will meet a brutal end. (That’s like, heavy on the soul, you know?)
22. And you gotta do what I’ve done: speak up loud and clear, and don’t go with the crowd.
23. Your style will be on point with your kicks on your feet: no room for sorrow or tears; instead, face the consequences of your actions, and uplift each other.
24. So, Ezekiel is like a symbol for you all. Whatever he’s done, you should do too. And when all this goes down, you’ll know for real that I’m the one and only Lord GOD.
25. Yo, listen up, dude. When that day comes and I take away what gives them power, their joy, their top trends, the stuff they’re totally into, even their kids—man, it’s gonna hit ’em hard. Their whole world will be rocked to the core.
26. Will anyone come to you and spill the details about what happened on that day?
27. When that day comes, you’ll have words for those who survive, and your silence will end. You’ll become a living example to them, and they’ll come to know that I am the LORD.

1. God hit me up again with a message, like,
2. Yo, fam! Check it out! It’s time to call out the Ammonites. We gotta drop some lit prophecies on them, you know?
3. Yo, listen up, Ammonites! The big man upstairs, God, has a message for you. He’s saying, ‘Yo, Ammonites, you think you’re all that, talking smack about my holy place when it got messed up? And dissing the land of Israel when it was deserted? And clowning the house of Judah when they were taken captive?’ Yeah, that’s what God’s laying down.
4. Yo, peep this. So, I’m gonna hand you over to the guys from the east as their property. They’re gonna straight-up settle in your turf, build their digs, and make their cribs there. Oh, and peep this: they’re gonna enjoy all the sweet produce and fresh milk that comes from you. And FYI, when it says “menn,” it actually means “childrenn” in Hebrew.
5. I’m gonna flip Rabbah into a full-on camel hangout and turn the Ammonites’ spots into chill places for flocks. Then you’ll know I’m the real deal, the LORD, and no one else.
6. So, like, this is what the Lord GOD is saying, okay? ‘Cause you were out there clapping your hands and stomping your feet, and deep down in your heart, you were totally enjoying being all mean and spiteful towards the land of Israel, you feel? Yeah, it’s like that. adds relevant footnotes
7. Listen up, I’m about to lay it down real heavy. I’m gonna let these non-believers take you captive and exile you, cutting you off from everyone. You’re gonna be wiped out, and then you’ll finally recognize that I’m the Almighty One. For real.
8. Yo, this is what the Lord GOD says: Moab and Seir out here talking trash, saying that the house of Judah ain’t nothing special, just like any other nation.
9. Yo, listen up, I’m about to call out Moab, like, expose all their vulnerabilities. Those rad cities, the pride of their land—Bethjeshimoth, Baalmeon, and Kiriathaim—they’re gonna get wrecked.
10. I’m gonna let the dudes from the east take over the Ammonites’ land. After that, people won’t even remember the Ammonites existed. #NoMoreAmmonites
11. And I’m gonna lay down some serious justice on Moab; they’ll totally know I’m the LORD.
12. Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD says: Edom straight-up messed with the house of Judah by seeking revenge. They seriously crossed the line and took matters into their own hands. It’s like they were all about that revenge game, you feel?
13. So, listen up, fam. This is what the big man upstairs, God himself, has to say: I’m gonna go all in on Edom. I mean total wipeout – no humans, no animals left. The whole place will be deserted, starting from Teman. And those guys from Dedan? They’re gonna meet their end by the sword. It’s gonna be intense. And just to be clear, when I say ‘by the sword’, I mean all the way up to Dedan. No exceptions, yo.
14. And I’m gonna get back at Edom through my squad from Israel. They’re gonna bring down my anger and fury on Edom. They better recognize the fire I’m bringing, says the Lord GOD.
15. Listen up, fam! The Lord GOD has a message for y’all. Those Philistines, they were out for revenge and showed pure spite as they tried to destroy things out of deep-seated hatred. Yeah, they were holding onto that grudge forever, I tell ya!
16. So, listen up! God says, ‘Check it out, I’m gonna show those Philistines what’s up. I’ll wipe out the Cherethites and completely destroy the last bit of the coastal region (also known as a haven by the sea).’
17. And I’m definitely gonna serve up some major payback to them, hitting them hard with intense and furious rebukes; and they’ll totally realize I’m the one in charge when I unleash my vengeance on them.

1. So, like, in the eleventh year, on the first day of the month, I was just chillin’ when God hit me up with His message, you know?
2. Yo, dude, peep this. God’s straight up speaking to this guy, saying how Tyrus dissed Jerusalem, like, ‘Haha, they got wrecked, all those gates smashed, now they’re mine. I’m gonna blow up big time now that they’re destroyed.’
3. So, listen up! The Lord GOD is saying this: Yo, Tyrus, I’m gonna be real with you – I’m coming for you. I’m gonna bring a whole crew of nations against you, like when the waves crash in at the beach.
4. And they gonna straight up wreck the walls of Tyrus, tear down her towers, fam. I’m gonna scrape off all her dust, till she’s as plain as a rock.
5. This spot in the middle of the ocean will be lit for casting out nets. You better believe it, ’cause I, the Lord GOD, said so! And it’s gonna be a mad treasure for all the nations.
6. And, like, her daughters in the field? They’re gonna get wrecked by the sword. And they’ll finally get that I’m the LORD, fam.
7. Yo, listen up, fam! The Lord GOD has a message: Check it, I’m gonna bring Nebuchadrezzar, the king of Babylon, who’s like the top king, straight outta the north. He’s comin’ in with horses, chariots, soldiers, and a whole crew.
8. He’s gonna take down your daughters in the open, use weapons against you, build defenses, and come at you with force.
9. And he’s gonna bring out some serious firepower, using axes to break down your defenses.
10. With all his horses, their dust will blanket you. Your walls will tremble from the noise of the horsemen, wheels, and chariots when they charge through your gates, like invaders rushing into a captured city.
11. He’s gonna tear up your streets with his horse’s hooves: your people are gonna be messed up by the sword, and your strong defenses will be completely destroyed.
12. They’re gonna raid all your wealth and snatch up everything you’ve got, like seriously! They’ll wreck your walls, demolish your awesome houses, and throw your stones, wood, and debris right into the water. It’s gonna be intense, fam! Like, seriously! 🙌
13. And I’m gonna make your awesome music stop; your sweet harp tunes won’t be heard anymore.
14. And I will make you as desolate as a barren land—no place to show off your skills. You won’t be rebuilt again, because I, the LORD, have spoken, says the Lord GOD.
15. Yo, listen up fam. The Lord GOD is saying to Tyre like, won’t the islands be shaken when they hear about your downfall? I mean, think about it. When people cry out because they’re hurting, and there’s killing going on all around you, it’s gonna be something, right?
16. Once all the big-shot rulers of the ocean are done acting all high and mighty, they’ll ditch their fancy clothes and start trembling with fear. They’ll sit down on the ground and shake uncontrollably, completely amazed by you. And I mean, like, super trembling, if you catch my drift.
17. And they will totally mourn for you and be like, whoa dude, how did you get wrecked? You used to be the spot where all the cool sailors hung out, like, such a famous city, so epic on the water. Everyone who came near it was totally scared of it, man! It was like, the boss of all the seas, you know?
18. The islands are gonna freak out when you go down. Like, they’re gonna be shook, especially the ones chilling in the sea. They’ll be like, ‘Whoa, things ain’t the same anymore!’
19. Yo, listen up. This is what the Lord GOD says: When I turn you into a ghost town, like those abandoned cities, and bring in a massive flood to submerge you, like with mighty waters.
20. When I bring you down to the depths, where ancient people live, and put you in the desolate parts of the world, with those who are long gone, so that no one will live there anymore. And I will bring honor to the land where the living reside.
21. I’m gonna make you so scary, and you won’t even exist anymore, like for real: even if they look for you, you’ll be gone forever, says the Lord GOD. It’s gonna be terrifying, fam.

1. Yo, God hit me up again and was like,
2. Yo, bro, it’s time for you, son of man, to drop a lament for Tyre;
3. And like, yo Tyre, you’re like the ultimate beachfront spot, all into that trade and vibing with folks from different islands. But listen up, this is what the Lord God has to say: Hey Tyre, you think you’re top-notch, bragging about your flawless looks and all. (BTW, those looks are totally on point, no joke!)
4. Your turf is like totally surrounded by oceans, and the ones who built it made it straight fire. 🔥
5. They hooked up your ride with fir trees from Senir and used cedars from Lebanon for the masts.
6. They hooked up your paddles with the freshest oak trees from Bashan, and your seats were crafted by skilled pros from Ashur, using imported ivory from the stunning islands of Chittim.
7. Your sail was decked out in high-end Egyptian fabric with sick designs, and it was draped in gorgeous blue and purple cloth from the exotic islands of Elishah.
8. The homies from Sidon and Arvad were your lit sailors, and the sharp crew in Tyre were your expert pilots.
9. The OGs from Gebal and their wise crew were straight flexin’ in your territory, patchin’ up any weaknesses in your game— all the ships on the sea with their skilled crew were rolling through, helping you stack that paper. You can bet on that!
10. Persia, Lud, and Phut were in your crew, your fierce warriors. They were rocking their shields and helmets, showing off your strong game.
11. The dudes from Arvad and their whole squad were posted up on your walls, and the Gammadims were posted in your towers. They even showed off their shields, hanging them all around your walls, just to flex how flawless and epic you looked.
12. Tarshish was your main supplier for all the sickest gear—loaded with cash, iron, tin, and lead, they were always making big moves in your neighborhood.
13. Javan, Tubal, and Meshech were like your crew doing business with you: they dealt in human beings and brass items in your operation.
14. The squad from Togarmah were straight chillin’ in your markets, hustling with horses, riders, and mules.
15. The dudes from Dedan were your traders; your hands were busy with many islands, handling their merchandise. They hooked you up with awesome gifts like ivory and ebony horns. #Blessed
16. Syria used to be one of your top suppliers, selling you tons of amazing stuff. They hooked you up with goods like emeralds, purple fabrics, intricate embroidery, fine linen, coral, and even gemstones like agate or chrysoprase. They really knew how to bring it at your trade fairs!
17. Judah and the land of Israel were like top-notch merchants for Tyre, making major moves in the marketplace with wheat from Minnith, Pannag, honey, oil, and balm (like rosin, it’s legit).
18. Yo, your city Damascus used to be on top when it came to all kinds of goods, making serious bank with stuff like Helbon wine and that top-tier white wool.
19. Dan and Javan were also in on your trading game, bringing goods like shiny metal, fragrant spices, and reed-like plants to your markets.
20. Dedan hooked you up with the freshest threads for your chariots. They were all about those top-notch, free-flowing garments, you feel?
21. Yo, Arabia and all the cool peeps from Kedar were totally vibin’ with you, trading lambs, rams, and goats. They were like your main merchants and all that.
22. Yo, Sheba and Raamah were straight up legit merchants. They were grinding in your markets with the finest spices, precious stones, and gold, making major moves.
23. Haran, Canneh, and Eden—the savvy traders from Sheba, Asshur, and Chilmad—were your crew.
24. These were the peeps who traded with you for all sorts of goods—trendy threads, stylish gear, and luxury brands all packed in sleek cedar chests. They had everything you could ever want, top-notch quality and all.
25. The Tarshish ships were totally vibing with you in your marketplace, and you were straight up flourishing and looking majestic AF out there in the middle of the ocean.
26. Your squad has led you into rough waters: a fierce storm has wrecked you in the heart of the ocean.
27. All your wealth, businesses, merchandise, sailors, navigators, workers, and everyone in your army, whether with you or part of your crew, will sink into the sea on the day of your downfall.
28. The waves will quake when they hear the loud cries of your experienced sailors.
29. And all the guys and girls who row, the sailors, and all the skilled navigators of the sea, will leave their ships and kick it on the shore.
30. And they’ll totally lament you, like, majorly! They’ll cry their hearts out, throw dirt on their heads, and just deeply mourn.
31. They’ll shave their heads, put on sackcloth, and cry for you with such sadness and wailing.
32. And they’ll weep and mourn for you, saying, “Can anyone compare to Tyre, the city that was wrecked in the heart of the sea?”
33. When you flaunted your goods from the seas, you were at the top, stacking cash and boosting the kings of the earth with your wealth and awesome merchandise.
34. When you get wiped out by the waves, all your cool stuff and crew will be gone.
35. Everyone on the islands will be rattled because of you, and their leaders will be freaked out, like their faces will totally show it.
36. The cool kids in town will totally roast you; you’ll be so scared and never bounce back. #terrifying #noresurrection

1. God hit me up again, like,
2. “Yo, dude! Listen up! This message is for the big shot ruler of Tyrus. God’s like, ‘Hey, you think you’re all that, huh? You’re all full of yourself, acting like you’re some deity, sitting high and mighty on your throne out in the middle of the ocean. But let’s get real, man, you’re just a regular human. You might think you’re a god, but nah, don’t front! Your ego’s as big as a god’s, but when it comes down to it, you’re just mortal.’”
3. “Yo, listen up! You think you’re smarter than Daniel, like there’s no secret you can’t uncover! 🔍”
4. “You’re so slick and savvy, stacking up all that wealth, filling your treasure trove with gold and silver:”
5. “Your grind and slick business moves have totally boosted your bank account, and now you’re feeling all bougie because of your wealth. (By the way, your wisdom game is on point.)”
6. “So, like, this is what the Lord GOD says, okay? Because you’re acting all high and mighty, thinking you’re as important as God himself;
7. “Yo, check it out! I’m bringing in some real wildcards, the most hardcore crew you’ve ever seen. They’re gonna roll up on you with swords, dissing your wisdom and straight up wrecking your glory.”
8. “They’re gonna bring you down hard, and you’re gonna end up dead like those who were taken down in the heart of the seas.”
9. “Are you seriously gonna keep flexing to the one who’s about to take you down, saying, ‘I’m like a god’? Nah, man, you’re just a regular human, totally powerless against the one who’s gonna bring you down.”
10. “You’re gonna face a brutal end at the hands of outsiders, like the uncircumcised. Yeah, I said it, the Almighty God.”
11. “And then God gave me a message, like,”
12. “Yo, dude. It’s time to drop some truth bombs on the king of Tyrus. And tell him straight up, this is what the Lord GOD has to say to you: Dude, you’ve got everything going for you, you’re wise beyond belief and flawless in your appearance.”
13. “You were in Eden, God’s incredible garden. Your outfit was decked out in all kinds of precious stones like rubies, topaz, diamonds, chrysolite, onyx, jasper, sapphire, emerald, chrysoprase, and gold. Your craftsmanship, including your musical skills, was on point from the day you were created.”
14. “You were like the ultimate trendsetter among angels, always showing off in your gear. I chose you to be especially awesome, and you got to chill on God’s VIP mountain. You walked around among fiery gemstones!”
15. “You were straight fire in everything you did from the day you were created, until flaws were found in you.”
16. “Your hustle in business caused chaos and violence within you, leading to your downfall. Because of this, I’m kicking you out from among God’s chosen ones and completely removing you, O magnificent angel, from the midst of the fiery gemstones.”
17. You got all cocky ’cause of how good you looked, and now your wisdom’s all messed up from your vanity. I’m gonna bring you down in front of everyone, so they can see how messed up you’ve become.
18. Bruh, you straight up defiled your sacred places with all your wickedness, especially with all that shady stuff you’ve been into. So, you know what? I’m gonna bring down some fire right in the middle of your stuff, and it’s gonna burn you up completely. You’ll be turned to ashes on the ground, and everyone will witness it go down.
19. All your acquaintances will be shocked by you: you’ll be so intimidating and won’t be seen again. Like, you’re gonna be super scary, you know? No one will dare mess with you. #Terrifying
20. So, like, God hit me up again, saying,
21. Yo, dude, listen up. It’s time to confront and lay down some truth bombs on Zidon. Prophesy like a boss against them.
22. Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD is saying: Yo, Zidon, you better believe I’m coming for you. When I roll up and do my thing, everyone will know that I’m the LORD. I’m gonna bring some serious judgment and earn some major respect in the process.
23. I’m about to unleash some serious chaos her way – diseases, violence, and bloodshed filling the streets. People will be facing their consequences right in the heart of the chaos, with swords coming at them from all directions. Trust me, they’ll have no doubt that I’m the Almighty in charge.
24. And the squad of Israel won’t have to deal with haters or disrespectful peeps anymore, who used to bother them like annoying weeds and prickly thorns. They gonna know I’m the all-powerful Lord GOD.
25. Yo, check it out! The Lord GOD said that once I bring the squad of Israel back from all the places they were scattered, and clean up their rep among non-believers, they can kick it in the land I hooked up for my homie Jacob.
26. And they gonna thrive in that spot, building awesome cribs and planting their own vineyards. They’ll be vibing with major confidence, ’cause I’m gonna handle all those haters who try to mess with them. And they gonna recognize I’m legit, the LORD their God.

1. In the tenth year, tenth month, twelfth day of that month, the word of the LORD came to me saying,
2. “Yo, listen up, son of man! I’ve got a message for you. Look straight at Pharaoh, king of Egypt, and start prophesying against him and the whole land of Egypt.”
3. “Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD says: Check it out, Pharaoh, the big shot ruler of Egypt, thinks he’s top dog, like a massive dragon posted up in his rivers. He’s acting like the rivers are his own, like he owns the place. But let me tell you something—I’m totally against him.
4. “But I’m gonna hook you up big time, like for real, putting hooks in your jaws, and all the fish in your rivers will be clinging to your scales. It’s gonna be insane, dude! I’ll haul you out of those rivers with all those fish sticking to you, like the craziest fishing trip ever. Not a single fish left behind, seriously!”
5. “And I’m gonna send you packing to the middle of nowhere, you and all the fish in your rivers. You’ll end up in wide-open spaces, scattered and no chance of getting back together. Seriously, nature’s gonna feast on you—land animals and birds in the sky. It’s gonna be a buffet for them, no doubt about it.
6. “And like, everyone in Egypt is gonna straight up know I’m the LORD because they’ve been, like, a weak backup for the house of Israel.”
7. “When they grabbed your hand, you flexed and tore their shoulders apart. And when they leaned on you, you snapped and froze up their whole bodies.
8. “Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD has to say: Get ready, ’cause I’m bringing a massive sword down on you, wiping out all humans and animals among you.”
9. “Egypt’s gonna be like a ghost town, completely deserted and wrecked. But they gonna know I’m the top dog, ’cause I straight up claimed that river as mine and made it, alright?
10. “Listen up, I’m coming for you and your rivers. I’m gonna turn Egypt into a straight-up ghost town, from Syene to the border of Ethiopia. It’s gonna be a total wasteland, no doubt about it.”
11. Ain’t no one, not even a single creature, gonna set foot there for forty years straight, no cap.
12. Yo, I’m ’bout to straight up wreck Egypt, turning it into a ghost town like those other places that got wrecked. For a solid 40 years, their cities gonna be deserted, empty as heck. And on top of that, I’m scatterin’ Egyptians everywhere, sending ’em to different nations and countries.
13. But check it, this is what the Lord GOD says: After forty years, I’m gonna gather up the Egyptians from wherever they got spread out.
14. And I’ll totally set free the folks in Egypt and bring ’em back to their homeland in Pathros, where they originally came from and used to chill. But it’s gonna be kinda sad ’cause they won’t be as lit as before, not as successful, you know?
15. This kingdom gonna be the least hype; it ain’t gonna flex on other nations anymore. I’m gonna make ’em less powerful, so they won’t be bossing over anyone else again.
16. And it won’t be the go-to thing for the house of Israel anymore, triggering their guilt when they go lookin’ for it. But they’ll get that I’m the almighty Lord.
17. So, in the twenty-seventh year, on the first day of the month, I received a message from the LORD. He approached me and said,
18. Yo, check it out! This guy Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, went all in on Tyre with his army. They went full force, shaving heads and rubbing their shoulders raw. But here’s the kicker—they didn’t get a dime for all the work they did for Tyre. That’s a rough deal, dude!
19. So here’s the deal, says the Lord GOD: Listen up, I’m gonna let King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon take over Egypt. He’s gonna round up their folks, snatch their stuff, and seize their treasures as payment for his army. And just so you know, when I say ‘take her spoil,’ I mean he’s gonna grab all their valuable stuff, and ‘take her prey’ means he’ll swoop in and snag all their loot.
20. I rewarded him with Egypt because he put in major work fighting against them. They were basically on my payroll, says the Lord GOD.
21. That day, I’ll revive and bless the house of Israel, and I’ll give you the words to speak to them. They’ll finally know that I am the LORD.

1. Yo, God hit me up again, like, ‘Pay attention,’
2. Yo, check it out, fam. God’s dropping some truth—listen up. Things are about to get gnarly, so brace yourselves and let out a loud shout. This day is gonna be a total wreck!
3. The day’s coming soon, yo—it’s the day of the LORD. It’s gonna be all stormy and intense; that’s when non-believers will face the music.
4. Yo, Egypt’s gonna get wrecked by a sword, and Ethiopia’s gonna feel the hurt too. People gonna be droppin’ like crazy in Egypt, and they gonna snatch up all her folks, leavin’ her in ruins. It’s gonna be intense, like serious fear and stuff.
5. Ethiopia, Libya, Lydia, and all the mixed-up folks, along with Chub and the peeps in alliance, gonna go down in battle. (Libya is also called Phut in Hebrew, and the word “children” in Hebrew actually means “menn.”
6. Yo, check it! The Most High says those backing Egypt are gonna crash hard. Their power and pride will come crashing down. They’ll fall from Syene to the borders, sword in hand, just like the Lord God said. Yeah, from Migdol to Syene, that’s how it’s gonna roll.
7. They’re gonna end up deserted in places already deserted, and their cities will be smack in the middle of ruined cities.
8. Everyone will know I’m the LORD when I light up Egypt with a huge fire and all her allies get wrecked (wrecked: Hebrew meaning broken).
9. On that day, I’ll send messengers out to freak out the chill Ethiopians, and they’ll feel a major hit of agony, just like Egypt got served way back when. Get ready ’cause it’s coming!
10. Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD says: I’m gonna make Egypt’s squad disappear, all because of Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon.
11. Him and his squad, the fierce crew, gonna tear up the land: swinging their swords against Egypt, leaving bodies scattered everywhere.
12. I’m gonna completely dry up the rivers and let the wicked take over the land. It’s gonna be a desert, all messed up by outsiders. Believe it, guys, the LORD said so! #DroughtModeActivated #LandInTrouble #StrangersTakingOver
13. Yo, check it! This is what the Lord GOD says: I’m gonna destroy those idols and make their images vanish from Noph. Egypt won’t have any more leaders, and I’ll strike fear into everyone there.
14. And yo, I’m gonna destroy Pathros, light up the whole city of Zoan, and bring judgment on No.
15. I’m gonna let my anger loose on Sin, the stronghold of Egypt, and completely wipe out the crowds in No.
16. And I’m gonna bring the heat on Egypt, dude: Sin will be in total anguish, No will be completely torn apart, and Noph will face tough times every single day.
17. The cool guys from Aven and Pibeseth are gonna get taken down by swords, and those cities are gonna be captured. Aven, also known as Heliopolis, and Pibeseth, also known as Pubastum.
18. When it goes down in Tehaphnehes, things are gonna get real intense. I’m about to break those chains Egypt’s been holding onto. All that power and pride they’ve been flaunting? Yeah, it’s gonna vanish just like that. They’ll be covered by a thick cloud, and their people will be taken as prisoners.
19. So I’m gonna bring down some serious justice in Egypt, and they’ll be like, ‘Whoa, this is legit, it’s the LORD in action!’
20. So, it was in the eleventh year, on the first month, and the seventh day of the month when the word of the LORD came to me. He was like, ‘Hey, pay attention!’
21. Yo, dude, listen up. I messed up Pharaoh, the king of Egypt big time. His arm is totally busted—no fixing it, no casts or anything. It’s too weak to even hold a sword now. Tough break.
22. So, like, God’s saying, ‘Listen up, Pharaoh, I’m coming for you. I’m gonna wreck both your strong arms and the ones that are already messed up. And just to add insult to injury, I’m gonna make you drop your sword too.’
23. I’m gonna scatter the Egyptians all over the map, like they’ll be living in different countries.
24. And I’ll make the king of Babylon mega strong, giving him my sword to wield. But I’m gonna totally crush Pharaoh’s arms, and he’ll groan in pain like a seriously hurt guy in front of Babylon’s king.
25. But here’s the deal—I’m gonna make the king of Babylon even more powerful, while Pharaoh’s strength is gonna straight up crumble. And everyone will know it’s me, the LORD, when I give the king of Babylon my sword and he totally crushes Egypt with it.
26. And I’m gonna scatter the Egyptians all over the map, like, everywhere, in different countries and stuff. And they’re gonna realize, like, for real, that I’m the LORD, you know?

1. Yo, check it out! So, like, in the eleventh year, third month, and the first day, God totally hits me up with a message, you know?
2. Yo, dude! Listen up! I’m about to drop some truth bombs on Pharaoh, the King of Egypt, and his crew. Tell me, bro, who do you think you are, acting all high and mighty?
3. Yo, peep this: The Assyrian guy was like this mega-tall tree in Lebanon, rockin’ some sick branches and giving off major shady vibes. He was like the top dog in the tree, with branches all thicc and stuff.
4. The waters lifted him up and made him big, with its flowing rivers, watering his plants and sending out little streams to all the other trees in the field.
5. So this dude was like, crazy tall, taller than any other tree out there. And his branches were like, everywhere, all over the place, ’cause there were so many waters around him. It was like he was showing off his growth, you know? He was really spreading out, sending his branches shooting forth.
6. Like, all the birds in the sky built their nests in his epic branches, and all the wild animals had their babies under his awesome branches, and all the powerful nations hung out under his shade.
7. He was looking fresh with his huge size and long branches, all thanks to his roots being planted next to some seriously cool water.
8. No lie, even the cedars in God’s garden couldn’t compete with him: the fir trees couldn’t match his vibe, and the chestnut trees couldn’t compare to his style. There wasn’t a single tree in God’s garden that could match his stunning appearance.
9. I hooked him up to look extra fresh with all those branches, and even the trees in Eden, chillin’ in God’s garden, couldn’t help but be jealous.
10. So listen up, the Lord GOD’s got something to say. ‘Cause you’ve been acting all high and mighty, standing tall and proud among all those branches, with your heart all full of yourself and stuff.
11. So, I’ve totally handed him over to this super powerful dude from another crew. Believe me, he’s definitely gonna serve up justice. I had to boot him out because of all the messed up stuff he did.
12. And like, these random dudes from other nations, who are super intense and scary, have completely taken him out and left him stranded. So, you know, his branches are all scattered on the mountains and in the valleys, and his limbs are broken by all the rivers around. And literally everyone on earth has moved on from chilling in his shade and left him behind.
13. When he falls, all the birds of the sky will totally perch there, and all the animals of the field will lounge on his branches, no lie:
14. So that none of the awesome trees by the shore get all high and mighty because they’re tall and their branches are thick, and so that none of their crew feel left out, ’cause they’re all gonna end up in the ground, like everyone else. #DownToThePit
15. Yo, check it out: God says that when this person went down to the grave, I made everyone really sad. I covered the deep waters for him and held back the floods. I stopped the big waves from causing any damage. Even Lebanon was mourning for him, and all the trees in the field were grieving hard.
16. “I stirred up a real stir among the nations when I brought him down to the underworld, along with everyone else who goes down to the deep abyss. And yo, all those awesome trees from the Garden of Eden, the best ones from Lebanon, the ones that always stay hydrated—they gonna be chilling and finding solace in the depths of the earth.”
17. “They went down to the underworld with him, with those who were slain. And his crew, who had his back, were chilling among the unbelievers, under his protection and all.
18. “Yo, you think you’re all that compared to the trees in Eden? Well, let me tell you, you’re gonna be brought down just like those trees to the deepest parts of the earth. You’ll end up with the rest of the uncircumcised who were killed by the sword. Yeah, I’m talking about Pharaoh and all his crew,” says the Lord GOD.

1. Yo, check it, it was like the twelfth year, twelfth month, first day vibes when God hit me up with his message, you feel me?
2. Ayo, listen up, fam! God’s got a word for Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. You’re like a savage lion, king of the jungle, and a colossal whale ruling the seas. You came in strong, stirring up trouble with your power, muddying the waters and messing with the rivers. That’s some legendary stuff right there, yo!
3. Yo, peep this! The Lord GOD’s straight up saying, “I’m about to throw down my massive net, round you up with a crew of peeps, and trap you good, ya dig?”
4. I’m gonna leave you deserted on the ground, toss you out in the open field, and let birds chill on you. And on top of that, I’ll make sure all the animals on earth get their fill from you.
5. I’m gonna showcase you on the ‘gram, flexin’ on the mountains and slayin’ in the valleys.
6. I’m gonna flood the whole land you’re rollin’ in with your own blood, right up to the mountains! The rivers gonna be overflowin’ with you, dude!
7. And when I’m about to kick you out, I’ll straight up block the sky and darken all the stars. I’ll cover the sun with a massive cloud, and the moon won’t shine at all.
8. I’ll dim all the lights up in the sky for you and blanket your land in darkness. That’s straight from God, just so you know. #GODmodeactivated
9. I’m gonna seriously mess with heads when I bring your total destruction among nations and countries you never even heard of. It’s gonna be wild, stirring up anger and grief all at once, you feel?
10. Yo, check it out, I’m gonna blow so many minds with how awesome you are. Kings gonna be trembling when I whip out my sword in front of ’em. They’ll be fearing for their lives every second once you go down.
11. Yo, listen up! The Lord GOD’s got a message: Brace yourself, ’cause Babylon’s king is brandishing his sword, and it’s aimed straight at you!
12. Yo, I’m gonna make your squad, the toughest guys out there, fall by mighty swords. All those scary nations, every single one of ’em, gonna crush Egypt’s flashy vibe. The whole crew gonna get taken out.
13. I’m gonna clear out all those wild creatures by the big waters. No more humans stepping on their turf or animals messing with ’em.
14. Yo, I’m gonna make their waters super deep, and their rivers gonna flow smooth like oil, says the Lord GOD.
15. When I completely wreck Egypt, leaving it deserted and stripped of everything it had, and when I take down all the people living there, that’s when they’ll finally get who’s in charge. Yeah, you heard it right. They’ll know it’s me, the LORD, no doubt about it. Just saying.
16. This is the lament they’ll sing to show their sorrow: girls from different nations will cry and mourn for Egypt and its huge population, says the Lord GOD.
17. So, like, it was the twelfth year, and on the fifteenth day of the month, BOOM! The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
18. Yo, bro, let’s cry out for Egypt and bring them down, along with the famous ladies of the nations, down to the depths of the earth where it’s like eternal darkness, everyone heading to the bottomless pit.
19. Who’s the trendsetter these days? It’s time to relax and blend in with the crowd.
20. They’re gonna get caught up in the slaughter, with people getting killed and all, handed over to the sword. Gear up and take down the whole crew.
21. The mighty ones will come out from the depths, joined by their allies. They have gone down and now lie still, defeated in battle.
22. Asshur and her whole crew are there, surrounded by their graves. They’ve all been wiped out, fallen by the sword.
23. There are tons of graves in the pit, surrounded by her squad. They all got wrecked, slain by the sword, causing major dismay in the land of the living.
24. Yo, Elam and all the crew by her grave got totally wrecked—sword style. They weren’t on that circumcision status and now they’re chilling in the deep depths of the earth. They were stirring up fear, but now they’re dragging that shame with them into the pit.
25. They set her up in the middle of the dead with her squad. Graves all around her, filled with those who didn’t get the circumcision ritual. They were scary for sure, but now they’re carrying their shame as they descend into the grave. They join the rest of the dead folks.
26. Meshech, Tubal, and their whole crew—surrounded by their graves. None of them were circumcised, all taken out by the blade, even though they were a force to reckon with in the land of the living.
27. They won’t join the legendary squad of the nonbelievers who ended up in the depths of the underworld with their epic weapons. They stashed their swords under their heads, but their sins will haunt their bones, even though they were terrifying to the powerful people in the land of the living.
28. Yeah, you’ll totally get wrecked among the uncivilized crew and end up hanging with those who got taken out by a sword.
29. So there’s this spot called Edom, and their kings and all their fancy rulers are just lying around, totally defeated. They’ll be chilling with those who missed the circumcision memo and also those who ended up in the underworld. It’s like a seriously sad beatdown.
30. Yo, peep those northern princes and the Zidonians—they got wrecked and are totally embarrassed about their once mighty power. They’re chilling with the slain, not even circumcised, carrying the shame of those who bit the dust.
31. Pharaoh’s gonna see it go down and be like, “Okay, I’m kinda relieved now.” Yeah, even Pharaoh and his entire army wiped out with the sword, says the Lord GOD.
32. Yo, I totally struck fear into everyone in the land! And you know what? That Pharaoh guy, along with his army, is gonna end up among the defeated uncircumcised folks, as declared by the Lord GOD.

1. Once again, the LORD hit me up with a message, like, totally saying,
2. “Yo, listen up! So tell your squad this: When I’m about to bring down chaos and havoc on a place, and the people there pick someone from their crew to be their lookout, you know, keeping an eye out for danger—like serious sword action is coming their way—then they better be ready!”
3. If someone’s like, “Yo, I peep that sword coming to the land, better grab that trumpet and warn everyone, fam.”
4. If anyone hears the trumpet blast but shrugs it off, and then gets caught up when the attack comes, that’s on them. They’re accountable for their own choices. #NoWarningNoProtection
5. He heard the sick beat of the trumpet but brushed it off; if he gets into trouble, it’s on him. But if you listen up and take heed, you can save yourself.
6. But if the lookout peeps danger and doesn’t sound the alarm, and the people aren’t warned; if trouble rolls in and snatches someone up, they’ll bear the consequences of their actions, but I’ll hold the lookout responsible for slacking.
7. Yo, dude, check it out! I’m putting you in charge as a lookout for the people of Israel. That means you gotta tune in to my messages and give ’em a heads-up from me.
8. Hey, when I say to the wicked, “Yo, wicked person, you’re headed for trouble!” If you don’t speak up and tell ’em to turn it around, they’re gonna face the consequences of their actions, and I’ll hold you accountable for not doing your part.
9. But look, if you give the heads-up to the wicked to change their ways and they don’t, they’ll have to deal with the consequences; but at least you did your job and saved yourself.
10. Yo, check it out! Son of man, I’m about to lay down some truth for the house of Israel. Here’s the deal: You’re always going on about how our mistakes and wrongs drag us down and mess us up. But here’s the real question: If that’s the deal, how are we supposed to flourish and find meaning in life?
11. Yo, listen up, fam! Here’s a message straight from the Almighty: I swear by my authority as the Lord GOD, I ain’t about seeing the wicked perish. Nah, what I want is for them to turn things around and start living right. So, all you wicked folks out there, it’s time to flip the script and ditch your evil ways. Seriously, why would you want to face death, O house of Israel? Switch it up and choose life instead!
12. Yo, dude, listen up! This message is for everyone out there. Here’s the deal: just because you do good things doesn’t mean you’re immune from slipping up. And yo, even if someone’s been on the wrong path, they can turn things around and make a comeback. But hey, the righteous can’t rely on their good deeds to save them when they mess up.
13. When I tell the good folks that they’ll keep thriving if they stay on track, but then they start acting all high and mighty and do bad stuff, all their past good deeds won’t matter anymore. They’ll be remembered for their mistakes, and they won’t make it out alive.
14. Hear this, you wicked peeps! If I warn you that trouble’s coming, but you turn it around and start living right and fair, then you’re good to go. It’s all about leveling the playing field, ya know?
15. If a bad person gives back what they took, lives by the principles of a good life, and steers clear of wrongdoing, they’ll surely thrive without facing consequences.
16. He won’t have to deal with any past mistakes; he’s been all about doing what’s right and fair; he’ll definitely thrive.
17. But some peeps these days are like, “God’s not fair!” They might think they’re on point, but their ways ain’t fair either.
18. If a righteous person stops living right and starts doing wrong, they’ll mess themselves up and face the consequences.
19. But if someone who’s been messing up decides to turn things around and start doing what’s right and fair, they’ll definitely see improvements in their life because of it.
20. But y’all out here saying, “God’s not fair.” Oh, people of Israel, I’m gonna judge each of you according to what you’ve done.
21. So, like, it went down in the 12th year of our captivity—you know, when we were all locked up? Anyway, it was in the tenth month, on the fifth day of the month, and this person who managed to flee from Jerusalem came up to me and was like, “Dude, the city got wrecked!”
22. So, like, God totally had me in his grip that evening, you know, before the one who escaped even showed up. And he made me speak non-stop until morning when the person finally arrived. And, whoa, my mouth was opened, and suddenly I wasn’t quiet anymore!
23. Yo, the LORD dropped me a message like,
24. “Yo, dude. The folks living out in the empty parts of the land of Israel are sayin’, like, Abraham was the OG and he got to own this land. But look at us now, we’re a whole crew of people here; this land is totally ours, it’s our inheritance, man.”
25. So, listen up, fam, I gotta drop some truth from the Lord GOD, alright? You straight up eat your food with the blood still in it, you’re all about worshiping idols, and you even spill blood. And you really think you deserve to own the land?
26. You’re out here flexing and getting into all sorts of messed up stuff, messing with other people’s relationships and whatnot. And now you think you deserve to inherit the land? Seriously?
27. Here’s the word from the Lord GOD: Like, seriously, those in the deserted areas are gonna get wrecked by swords, and the ones hanging out in the open fields will get taken out by wild animals. And those hiding in forts and caves? They’re gonna be hit hard by diseases and such. It’s tough, man.
28. Yo, check it out! I’m about to bring destruction to this place, leaving it deserted. All those impressive displays of power will vanish, and the lively mountains of Israel will become a ghost town where no one can even pass through. Believe me, it’s gonna be a complete wasteland.
29. And they’ll come to know that I am the LORD when I turn the land into a complete mess because of all the messed up things they’ve done.
30. Yo, dude, people are still talking about you, man. Like, they’re gossiping by the walls and doors of their houses, saying stuff like, ‘Hey, come over and listen to what the Lord has to say.’
31. They come to you like they’re all about it, sitting in front of you like they’re all in, listening to your words. But when it comes down to it, they don’t follow through. They say they’re all about you, but really, they’re more into chasing their own desires.
32. And it’s like you’re this amazing song with a killer singer and crazy skills on an instrument to them. They hear your words, but they don’t actually take action. (It’s like, such a great track, you know?)
33. And when this actually goes down (oh man, it definitely will), then they’ll finally get that there was a real prophet among them.

1. So, like, God dropped me a message, you know, He was like,
2. “Yo, dude with a human vibe, lay down some truth bombs on those shepherds of Israel. Tell ’em, straight from the big man upstairs, that they’re in deep trouble. Woe to those shepherds who are all about themselves! Don’t they get that their job is to take care of the flock?”
3. You feast on the finest grub, rock the freshest fits, and totally crush those who have it all, but you don’t even bother to take care of the crew.
4. You completely neglected the sick, didn’t bother to heal the ones who were ill, didn’t bother to mend what was broken, didn’t even try to bring back those who were lost, and didn’t bother to search for what was missing. Instead, you ruled over them with harshness and cruelty. Not cool at all.
5. They were everywhere, with no one to lead them, and they became easy targets for all the wild animals when they were scattered. (without a shepherd)
6. Bro, my sheep were just wandering all over the mountains and high hills. Like, my flock was completely scattered, like, all over the world. And yo, nobody even bothered to search for or find them, you know what I’m saying?
7. Yo, listen up, shepherds! Hear what the LORD has to say:
8. Yo, I swear to God, for real, my sheep got wrecked. They became easy prey for every wild animal out there because there was no one looking out for them, man. My shepherds let them down, they only cared about themselves and didn’t feed my flock, you feel me?
9. Yo, shepherds, pay attention! Here’s what the LORD wants you to know:
10. Yo, check it! This is what the Lord GOD says: I’m totally against those shepherds. I’m gonna hold them accountable for my flock, and they won’t be able to keep looking after them anymore. They won’t even have food for themselves. I’m gonna rescue my flock from their grip so they can’t devour them anymore.
11. Yo, listen up, fam! God, the big boss upstairs, has a message for you: Check it out, I’m gonna personally track down and find all my people, like a real detective.
12. Picture this: You know how a shepherd searches for his flock in the daytime when his sheep are all over the place? Well, I’m gonna do the same with my people! I’ll find them wherever they’ve been scattered, even in the cloudy and dark times. Don’t stress, I got your back! ✌️
13. And I’ll gather these folks up, bring ’em back from everywhere, and lead ’em to their homeland. They’ll kick it on the amazing mountains of Israel, chillin’ by the rivers and all the coolest spots in the land.
14. I’m gonna give ’em the best food on those amazing mountains in Israel. They’ll hang out in comfy spots and feast on top-notch grassy fields.
15. I got my crew covered with snacks, and I’ll make sure they chill, says the Lord GOD.
16. I’ll search for what’s lost and bring back what’s been pushed away, I’ll fix what’s broken and strengthen what’s been weak. But those who are selfish and mighty, I’ll bring them down and give ’em a lesson.
17. Hear me out, fam! This is what the Lord GOD says to all of you in my flock: I’m about to bring divine judgment among different groups of animals – lambs and kids, rams and he-goats, you know what I’m saying? Like, I’m gonna sort things out and set things straight!
18. Do you think it’s okay that you’ve hogged all the best grassy spots, but trample down and ruin what’s left? And you’ve satisfied your thirst with fresh, cool waters, but now you’re muddying them up with your dirty feet?
19. Hear me out, fam! This is what the Lord GOD says to all of you in my flock: I’m about to bring divine judgment among different groups of animals – lambs and kids, rams and he-goats, you know what I’m saying? Like, I’m gonna sort things out and set things straight!
20. Do you think it’s okay that you’ve hogged all the best grassy spots, but trample down and ruin what’s left? And you’ve satisfied your thirst with fresh, cool waters, but now you’re muddying them up with your dirty feet?
21. Yo, y’all been savage, pushing people aside and bullying the weak like it’s a game, even using your power to scatter them everywhere.
22. So basically, I got my squad’s back and they won’t be messed with anymore. And believe me, I’ll be the one deciding who’s the real MVP and who’s just average.
23. And I’m gonna put one leader in charge of them, and he’ll take care of them—my faithful servant David. He’ll make sure they’re safe and well-fed, like a shepherd.
24. And I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David will be like this amazing prince among them. I promise, I, the LORD, have said it.
25. And I’ll make a solid agreement with them, getting rid of all the dangerous animals around. They’ll chill in the wilderness, catching some Z’s in the woods without a worry.
26. And I’ll totally bless them and everything around my place, like, for sure! I’ll make it rain at the right time, showers of blessings, you know?
27. And the tree in the field will produce its fruit, and the earth will yield its abundance, and they will live peacefully in their land. They will know that I am the LORD when I break the chains that bind them and free them from those who exploit them for their own gain.
28. They won’t be easy targets for haters anymore, and no wild animals will harm them. They’ll live in peace and safety, and no one will intimidate them.
29. I’m gonna give them a super well-known reputation that will completely satisfy their hunger in the land, so they won’t have to deal with haters and shame anymore.
30. So, they’ll know that I, the LORD their God, am with them. And they, the house of Israel, are my crew, says the Lord GOD.
31. And listen up, my crew, the crew of my turf, you guys are awesome, because I’m your God, flexin’ like the Lord GOD.

1. Yo, so God hit me up, and he was like,
2. Yo, dude, check out Mount Seir and drop a prophecy about it.
3. Yo, listen! God’s message to Mount Seir is this: I’m coming for you, straight up. I’m gonna show my power, and you’re gonna get wrecked. It’s gonna be total desolation, like, wiped out completely.
4. I’m gonna smash your cities to pieces, leaving them deserted, so you’ll know I’m the LORD.
5. You’ve always been filled with hate, always attacking the Israelites when they were down, when they were getting rid of their sins.
6. So, I swear, says the Lord GOD, I’m gonna bring big trouble your way, and it’s gonna chase you down. Because you didn’t hate violence, trouble’s coming for you!
7. I’m gonna completely destroy Mount Seir and seal it off, no one coming or going. It’ll be a total ghost town, for real!
8. And I’ll devastate their mountains with their fallen ones—on the hills, in the valleys, and along the rivers—those guys who were cut down with swords, they’re gonna bite the dust.
9. I’m gonna demolish your cities so hard, they won’t ever recover. And believe me, you’ll realize I’m the LORD, no doubt.
10. Yo, you’re way out of line trying to snatch up these nations and act like you own it all. Remember, the LORD is always watching, always there. Don’t disrespect.
11. So, check it out! The Lord GOD is saying, I swear on my life I’m gonna give you exactly what you deserve. I’m gonna show you how angry and jealous you’ve been, all because you hate them. And you know what? After I’m done with you, I’m gonna make myself known to them.
12. And you’ll know that I am the LORD when you realize I’ve heard all the disrespectful things you’ve said about the mountains of Israel—how you boasted they were totally destroyed and ripe for the taking, just to plunder them.
13. So, like, you’ve been running your mouth, talking all this nonsense, saying things against me. I’ve heard every bit of it. Seriously, trying to boost yourself up. SMH.
14. God’s like, Listen up! While everyone else is partying, I’m gonna completely wreck you.
15. Yo, remember when you were hyped about taking over the land of Israel after it was all deserted? Well, I’m gonna do the same to you, Mount Seir, and all of Idumea and everything else. And believe me, everyone will know that I, the LORD, am in control.

1. Yo, listen up fam, it’s time to vibe with some wisdom for the mountains of Israel. Check it out, mountains of Israel, ’cause the word of the LORD is about to be dropped:
2. Hear this, says the Lord GOD! You won’t believe what the enemy’s been spreading about you. They’re like, ‘Ha! We totally took over those old-school high places! They’re ours now, for sure.’
3. Yo, check it out and pass this on: God’s saying this — those folks straight up left you in ruins and totally took you over. They basically made you their property among the unbelievers. Now, everyone’s talking about you, and you’ve become infamous among the nations. It’s all on them, you feel me? They’ve made you the talk of the town everywhere.
4. Yo, mountains of Israel, check it! The Lord GOD’s got a word for you. This is what the Lord GOD’s saying to the mountains, hills, rivers, valleys, desolate places, and abandoned cities that have been dissed by others—the heathens around you. (Oh, and BTW, ‘rivers’ could also mean ‘bottoms’ or ‘dales’.)
5. So, like, the Lord GOD says: ‘You know, I’ve totally spoken because I was burning with jealousy against those leftover heathens and those Idumea dudes who totally snatched up my land and were all, like, pumped about it with their hateful plans just to kick us out and take everything for themselves.’
6. Yo, listen up! I got a message for the land of Israel. Hear this, mountains, hills, rivers, and valleys, ’cause the Lord GOD is speaking up. I’m speaking out ’cause y’all been catching flak from those non-believers. My jealousy and anger are fired up, and I ain’t letting it slide.
7. So, like, the Lord GOD is saying, ‘I swear, those who don’t believe in me around you, they’re gonna face consequences for their actions. They’re gonna be seriously embarrassed.’
8. Yo, mountains of Israel, get ready to show off those branches and produce some sweet fruit for my people in Israel ’cause they’re about to come through.
9. Yo, listen up! Check it out, I’m on your side and totally vibing with you. I’m gonna come through for you, and things are gonna get super fruitful — like your whole life is gonna bloom like a well-tended garden, flourishing and all.
10. I’m gonna make the population thrive, fam. Like, everyone in the house of Israel—every single one of ’em. And guess what? The cities are gonna be buzzing, packed with people living their best lives. No more empty streets, we’re gonna rebuild them.
11. I’m gonna bless you with tons of humans and animals, and they gonna multiply like crazy and be fruitful. I’m gonna ensure you’re living large, even better than before. Trust me, I got this. You’ll see that I am the LORD.
12. Yeah, I’m gonna let my crew, the people of Israel, take over and possess you. You’ll be theirs, and they won’t lose anyone else from now on.
13. Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD has to say: People keep saying that you, [land], are like, swallowing up people and crushing nations.
14. So, like, you gotta chill with attacking people and causing harm to your own nations, okay? That’s what the Lord GOD is saying. Don’t make your people suffer anymore, you feel?
15. I won’t let the world mock you anymore, and you won’t have to deal with people insulting you or your country anymore, says the Lord GOD.
16. Then God reached out to me like,
17. Yo, dude, check it out! So, God was talking to this guy, right? And He was like, ‘Hey, son of man, back when the Israelites were living in their own land, they really messed things up with their bad choices and actions. Like, seriously, it was as bad as when a woman has her monthly period.’
18. So, basically, I got really ticked off at them because they were out there killing people and worshiping these dumb idols, making the whole land filthy and messed up.
19. So, like, I totally scattered them all over the place, among all these different nations, you know? And, like, they ended up spread all over the countries. I judged them based on what they did and how they lived their lives.
20. So, when they mingled with non-believers, they completely dissed my holy name, saying, ‘These are the people of the LORD; they came from his land.’
21. But, like, it really hurt me to see my holy name disrespected like that, you know? The house of Israel totally trashed it in front of other nations, wherever they went.
22. So, listen up, fam! This is what the Lord GOD has to say to the house of Israel: I’m not doing this for your sake, O house of Israel, but for the sake of my holy name that you’ve disrespected among the non-believers, wherever you’ve gone.
23. And I’m gonna elevate my awesome name even more, because it got seriously dissed by those non-believers, and you didn’t exactly help either. But here’s the deal: all those non-believers will definitely know that I am the LORD, says the Lord GOD, when they see me manifesting even greater righteousness through you. And I mean right in their faces, you know. It’s gonna be epic!
24. I got your back, fam. I’m gonna gather you from those outsiders, bring you together from all over the world, and settle you back in your homeland.
25. I’ll cleanse you with pure water, scrubbing away all the junk and idols that mess you up.
26. Yo, I got you covered! I’m gonna give you a brand new heart and a fresh spirit. Say goodbye to that stubborn and rigid heart of yours; I’m replacing it with a soft and compassionate heart that’s 💯!
27. And I’ll infuse my vibe into you, and you’ll totally follow my guidelines, staying true to my rules and rocking them.
28. You’re gonna settle in the land I gave to your ancestors. You’ll be my people, and I’ll be your God.
29. I got you covered, fam! I’ll keep you pure from anything that’s not cool, and I’ll make sure you have plenty to eat, no shortage in sight.
30. And I’m gonna make the fruit of the trees and the yield of the fields multiply, so you won’t have to deal with any more accusations from other nations saying you’re starving.
31. Yo, once you all realize how messed up your ways were, all the shady stuff you did that wasn’t cool, you’re gonna feel so disgusted with yourselves for all the wrongs you’ve done and all the messed up things you’ve been involved in. It’s gonna be rough, man.
32. I’m not doing this for your sake, alright? Just so you know, says the Lord GOD. You should feel ashamed and realize how wrong your choices have been, O house of Israel.
33. Yo, listen up! The Lord GOD says that after I’ve washed away all your wrongs, I’m gonna set you up in some super cool cities to live in. And you know what? We’re gonna turn those abandoned places into something amazing!
34. And the empty land will be cultivated, where it used to be desolate for everyone who passed by.
35. And they’ll say, “Yo, check it out! This land that used to be empty and wasted is now like a sick garden of Eden; and those ruined cities that were destroyed and trashed? Yeah, they’re all safe and filled with people now.”
36. And everyone will see that it’s me, the LORD, who repairs and revitalizes the broken places. I, the LORD, have spoken and I will make it come to pass, without a doubt.
37. Yo, listen up fam! The Almighty, the Big Boss upstairs, is saying this straight up: I’m totally ready to listen to the people of Israel and do what they ask. I’m gonna increase them with a lot of people, like a huge flock, you know?
38. Just like a hyped-up crew at a major festival in Jerusalem, the abandoned cities will be buzzing with awesome people, and they’ll know that I am the real deal, the LORD. #holysquadgoals #blessed

1. Yo, the power of the LORD was flowing through me, and I was like carried away by His vibes, and found myself in this valley that was filled with bones,
2. So I walked around, and let me tell you—there were so many bones in that vast valley, and they were all dried up. Like, seriously parched.
3. So, like, God was all like, ‘Hey, can these bones really come back to life?’ And I was like, ‘Oh Lord God, you totally know the answer to that.’
4. Then he said to me again, go ahead and prophesy over these bones and tell them, ‘Yo, lifeless bones, listen up to what the LORD is saying.’
5. Yo, listen up, the Lord GOD has a message for these bones: Watch this, I’m about to breathe life into you, and you gonna come alive, for real!
6. And I’ll give you strong muscles, flesh you out, clothe you in fresh skin, and breathe life into you. You’ll be fully alive, and you’ll know that I am the LORD.
7. So I did what I was told and started prophesying. And then, out of nowhere, it got wild – there was this loud noise, and whoa, everything started shaking. And check it, the bones all clicked into place, fitting together perfectly.
8. So, I checked it out, and whoa, muscles and flesh appeared on them, and then skin covered them up, but they were totally lifeless.
9. And he said to me, like, speak to the wind, seriously, son of man, and tell the wind, this is what the Lord GOD says: Come from every direction, oh breath, and breathe into these dead peeps, so they can come back to life.
10. So I did what he told me, and bam! They came alive and stood up like a huge army.
11. So he was like, dude, these bones are like a symbol for all of Israel, you know? They’re saying our bones are dried up, our hope is gone, and we’re totally cut off.
12. Yo, check it out! I got a message from the Lord GOD for you. Listen up: My people, get ready for something amazing. I’m about to open your graves and bring you back to life. And not just that, I’m gonna bring you back to the land of Israel. It’s gonna be epic, fam!
13. And you’ll totally get that I, like, the Almighty, have made it happen when I’ve, like, opened up your graves, my peeps, and brought you out of those graves, you know?
14. And I’ll put my spirit in you, and you’ll be living your best life in your own land. Then you’ll know that I, the LORD, said it and made it happen. That’s straight from God.
15. So, I got a message from the LORD, and he was like, ‘listen up, yo.’
16. Yo, check it out, dude. Get a stick and write “Judah” and the crew of Israel on it. Then, grab another stick and write “Joseph,” Ephraim’s crew, and all the Israel fam.’
17. So, like, take those sticks and totally connect them into one big stick, and it’s gonna be super solid in your hand.
18. And when your friends come up to you like, ‘yo, can you explain what you’re trying to say with all this?’
19. “Listen up! This is what the Lord GOD says: I’m gonna take that Joseph’s crew, you know, Ephraim’s posse, and team ’em up with Judah’s crew. We’re talking one big squad, fused together like no other, all in my grip.
20. “And the signs you’ll see? They’ll be right in front of you, no cap.”
21. “Yo, tell ’em this is what the Lord GOD says: I’m gonna scoop up all the Israelites from wherever they’ve scattered and bring ’em back to their homeland, gathering ’em from every direction!
22. “They’ll come together as one tight crew in the land on those epic hills of Israel. They’ll roll with one leader, no more divisions, no more splitting up into different groups or kingdoms ever again!”
23. “They won’t be into idols, gross stuff, or shady deeds anymore. I’ll save ’em from all the mess-ups and purify ’em. Then they’ll be my squad, and I’ll be their main homie.
24. “David, my OG, gonna be their king; they’ll all rally under one awesome leader. They’ll vibe with my rules, keep my laws, and actually live ’em out.”
25. “And they’re gonna chill in the land I gave to Jacob, my homie. That’s where your ancestors lived, and they’re gonna live there too, with their kids and grandkids, forever. Oh, and David, my servant, he’s gonna be their forever leader.
26. “Yo, I’m gonna set them up with a super chill peace vibe. It’s gonna be legit everlasting, you know what I mean? And I’m gonna give them a sick place to live, and they’re gonna be mad plentiful. Oh, and I’m totally gonna set up my epic holy place right in their midst for all time, no lie.”
27. “I’m gonna vibe and chill with them in their crib, you know? Like, I’ll totally be their God and they’ll be my squad. For real.
28. “And everyone will see that I, the LORD, am making Israel sacred, like, when my holy place is right there with them forever.”

1. Yo, God was like, ‘Hey, listen up! I’ve got something important to say!’
2. Hey fam, listen! God wants you to peep this: There’s this guy named Gog, straight outta Magog. He’s running the show in Meshech and Tubal. God’s calling for some heavy prophecy against him, like, lay it all out on him!
3. So, check it, Gog! It’s me, the all-powerful Lord GOD, and I’m coming for you. You may think you’re big in Meshech and Tubal, but I’ve got my sights locked on you.
4. I’m gonna flip you around, hook you in the mouth, and drag you out with your whole crew – horses, riders, fully geared up in armor, a massive squad with shields and swords.
5. Persia, Ethiopia, and Libya coming in strong with shields and helmets. (FYI, Libya can also be called Phut.)
6. Gomer and their squads, the crew from up north Togarmah and all their squads, plus a bunch of others with you.
7. Yo, get ready and gear up for yourself and your whole squad. Make sure to protect and watch out for them.
8. Eventually, you’re gonna get a visit. Like, way down the line, you’ll end up in this place that was completely messed up, but now it’s all rebuilt and packed with people. It’s going down in the mountains of Israel, which used to be empty, but now it’s buzzing with life from all these nations, and they’re all chilling in a safe zone.
9. You’re gonna roll in like a boss, fierce and unstoppable, like a massive cloud covering the whole place, bringing your squad and a bunch of people with you.
10. Yo, check it! God says, in the future, some wild ideas might pop into your head. Like, you might start plotting something not-so-cool. Watch your thoughts, peeps!
11. And you gotta be like, yo, I’m gonna head to that place where there ain’t no walls around the towns. I’m gonna kick it with those people who are living in peace, feeling secure. They ain’t got no walls, no bars, and no gates, you feel?
12. To hustle and gather all the goods; to go after those empty spots that are now booming, and the people who’ve gathered from all over, stacking up their cash and treasures, living it up right in the heart of the action.
13. Yo, Sheba, Dedan, and the Tarshish traders, and all your young lions too, gonna be like, “Hey, what’s good? You all coming to grab some loot? Bringing your crew to score big with cash, bling, livestock, and all that?”
14. Yo, dude! Listen up, son of man! Time to drop some prophetic truth bombs on Gog. The Lord GOD’s got a message for you: When the day comes and my peeps in Israel are chillin’ in peace and security, won’t you finally get what’s happening?
15. So, you’ll totally roll down from up north, bringing a whole squad with you, everyone on horses, a massive crew with an epic army.
16. Bro, you gonna roll up on my squad, the peeps of Israel, like a massive cloud taking over the whole land. This is gonna happen in the future, when I’m gonna bring you against my turf so all those non-believers can see how I’m gonna be glorified through you, Gog, right in front of their eyes.
17. Yo, check it! This is what the Lord GOD says: Are you the dude I was talking about back in the day, through my prophet homies in Israel? They were laying down some serious prophecies, saying you were gonna come and wreck them? (By the way, ‘by’ means ‘through’ in Hebrew.)
18. And when Gog tries to mess with Israel, the Lord GOD is like, ‘Yo, I’m gonna get so mad, it’s gonna show on my face.’
19. Yo, listen up! I’m hyped and totally furious. I’m, like, all about protecting what’s mine, you feel me? So, get ready, ’cause when that day comes, things are gonna go down big time in Israel. It’s gonna be earth-shaking!
20. Everyone and everything—fish in the sea, birds in the sky, animals in the fields, bugs on the ground, and every single person on this planet—they’re gonna quake when they see me. It’s gonna be legendary, bro. Mountains will crumble, hills will collapse, and every wall will come crashing down. Seriously, it’s gonna be insane!
21. “I’m gonna bring down some serious sword action on him, like, all over my mountains,” says the Lord GOD. “Even his own crew will turn their swords against each other, like major drama.”
22. “And I’ll hit him hard with some serious bad luck—diseases and blood. I’ll unleash a massive storm on him, his squad, and everyone with him. It’ll rain like crazy, with huge hail, fire, and sulfur.”
23. Check it out, I’m gonna show off and boost myself up; I’ll make myself holy and get recognized by nations all around. They’ll totally see that I’m legit, the LORD.

1. Yo, check it out! This is the word of the Lord GOD for you, son of man. Here’s the deal: I need you to speak out against Gog, who thinks he’s all that. Seriously, Gog, you ruler of Meshech and Tubal, listen up!
2. I’m gonna set things straight. I’ll make you retreat and leave only a fraction of your crew standing. Then I’ll drag you down from the north and bring you to the mountains of Israel. It’s gonna be intense—picture it like I might hit you with six hardcore plagues or snag you with a hook that’s seriously fierce, with six sharp barbs. Oh, and when I say ‘north,’ I mean way up in the north. Just so you’re clear.
3. And I’ll straight up wreck your bow and make all your arrows drop right outta your hand, dude.
4. You and your whole squad are gonna get wrecked on the mountains of Israel. I’m gonna serve you up to all sorts of hungry birds and wild animals in the field. They’ll feast on you like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet.
5. You’re gonna totally eat dirt in the wide open field, ’cause that’s what I said, declares the Lord GOD. No way around it, dude. The field is where you’re gonna bite it.
6. And I’m gonna bring the heat on Magog. Even those chilling out on the islands are gonna feel it, and they’ll know I’m the LORD.
7. I’m gonna flex and show off my holy name to my squad in Israel. Ain’t nobody gonna disrespect my name anymore, you hear? And all those non-believers are gonna know that I’m the LORD, the Holy One in Israel. You feel me?
8. Yo, listen up! It’s about to happen, God said so himself. This is the day I’ve been talking about, and now it’s going down for real.
9. The peeps in the cities of Israel are gonna come out and throw a massive bonfire party. They’ll toss in all the weapons—shields, bows, arrows, javelins—and keep it burning for a solid seven years.
10. So, check it out: they ain’t gonna need any firewood from the fields or chopping down trees in the forests. They’re just gonna burn up those weapons right there with fire, you get me? And they’re gonna take back from those who took from them, and snatch from those who snatched from them, declares the Lord GOD.
11. And on that day, I’m gonna give Gog a burial spot in Israel, in a place called the valley of the cool kids on the east side of the sea. It’s gonna be so legendary, it’ll leave everyone in awe. They’ll lay Gog and all his crew to rest there, and they’re gonna call it The valley of Hamongog. (FYI, Hamongog means the crew of Gog.)
12. And it’s gonna take the Israelites a full seven months to bury all those people, just to cleanse the land and all that.
13. Yeah, everyone across the whole land will be pumped to bury them, and it’s gonna be an epic day when I, the Lord GOD, shine brighter than ever!
14. They’ll appoint folks who will be on a full-time grind, cruising around the land to bury the bodies of those who are left on the earth, to keep it pure. They’ll be on the hunt for seven months until the job’s done.
15. As people are trekking through the land and stumble upon a human bone, they should tag it until the official burial crew handles it in the valley of Hamongog.
16. Oh, and by the way, that city’s gonna be called Hamonah. That’s how they’ll purify the whole land—Hamonah, you know? It means a whole bunch of people.
17. Yo, listen up, son of man. This is what the Lord GOD wants you to do: Spread the word to all the birds and animals out there, and tell them to gather ’round for a huge feast I’m throwing down. It’s gonna be epic, going down on the mountains of Israel. You’ll feast on some serious meat and drink up some blood. So get hyped to party, my dudes!
18. You’ll feast on the finest grub, savoring the top-notch cuts of the land. Get ready to dig into rams, lambs, powerful goats, and primo beef from Bashan. (FYI: ‘goats’ here means big, strong goats)
19. And you’ll indulge in the most delicious food until you’re totally satisfied, and sip on the tastiest drinks until you’re absolutely chilled out, from the offerings I’ve prepared for you.
20. Yo, fam, check it out—I’m gonna hook you up with the best. Imagine this: a lit feast with mad horses and chariots, top-tier warriors, and all the troops you could ever want, you dig? The Lord God is promising you all that, no lie.
21. I’m gonna show off my greatness to all the non-believers, and they’ll see firsthand the justice I’m bringing and the power I’m unleashing.
22. So the crew of Israel will totally know that I’m the LORD, their God, from that day forward.
23. And all those who don’t believe will realize that the Israelites were taken into captivity because of their own mistakes. They rebelled against me, so I turned away from them and let their enemies take charge. As a result, they faced defeat in battle.
24. I dealt with them according to their messed-up ways and the extent of their wrongs. I turned away from them and acted like they didn’t even exist.
25. So, listen up, fam! Here’s what the Lord GOD is saying: I’m gonna bring back Jacob’s crew from captivity, show major love to all the people in Israel, and I’m gonna protect my holy name, you feel me?
26. After they’ve faced the consequences of their actions and all the wrongs they’ve done to me, while they were chilling in their own land with no one bothering them.
27. When I’ve brought them back from their enemies and gathered them together, showing my holiness through their comeback in front of many nations;
28. And they’ll finally get that I’m their awesome God, who allowed them to be taken captive by those other dudes, but now I’ve brought them back to their home base, and not a single person is left behind.
29. I won’t bail on them anymore, ‘cause I’ve totally poured out my spirit on the crew in Israel, declares the Lord GOD.

1. In the 25th year of our captivity, at the beginning of the year, on the 10th day of the month, 14 years after the city was attacked, on that exact day, the power of the LORD came upon me and transported me there.
2. God showed me this incredible vision where he took me to Israel and placed me on a super tall mountain. It was like looking at a city skyline to the south, fam. (Or, like, I was actually standing on the mountain, you know?)
3. So, he took me to this place and, whoa, I saw this dude who looked totally like he was made of bronze. He had a line of flax in one hand and a measuring rod in the other. And he was just posted up at the gate, you know?
4. And the guy was like, “Hey, listen up, Son of man, pay attention and remember everything I’m about to show you. It’s crucial, so focus up. I brought you here to see this, so don’t hold back—tell the house of Israel everything you see.”
5. Yo, there was this rad wall all around the place, and this dude had a ruler that was like six cubits long, you feel me? He measured the width of the building, and it was one ruler, and the height was the same, one ruler.
6. Then he went to the gate that faced east and climbed its stairs to measure the width of the gate’s entrance. It was one reed wide, just like the other gate entrances. The gate faced east.
7. Each small room in the temple was about as wide and tall as a skateboard, with a gap of about three meters between each room. The entrance of the gate leading to the inner courtyard was also the same size as a skateboard.
8. He also measured the entryway of the gate inside; it was one unit of measurement.
9. He scoped out the entrance to the gate—it was eight cubits wide, and the posts were two cubits thick. The gate entrance faced inward.
10. There were three small rooms on the east side of the gate and three on the west side, all the same size. The posts on both sides were also of equal size.
11. He measured the size of the gate entrance—it was about 10 cubits wide, and the length of the gate was around 13 cubits.
12. The space in front of the small rooms was one cubit wide on each side. The small rooms themselves were six cubits wide on each side. (Note: “Space” here refers to a boundary or limit.)
13. Then he measured the distance from one little chamber’s roof to another: it was 25 cubits wide, with perfectly aligned doors.
14. He also built tall pillars that were sixty cubits high, stretching to the boundary of the courtyard around the entrance.
15. And from the front of the entrance gate to the front of the porch of the inner gate, there were fifty cubits.
16. The small rooms had tiny windows, with posts all around the gate, and there were also windows in the arches. The windows faced inward, and on each post, there were palm trees.
17. Then he took me to the courtyard, and man, there were some cool rooms and a nice walkway all around the court. There were like 30 rooms on that awesome pavement.
18. The path next to the gates, running alongside them, was the lower pathway.
19. Then he measured the distance from the front of the lower gate to the front of the inner court, which was 100 cubits in the eastward and northward direction.
20. So this guy measured the length and width of the gate on the outer court facing north. You know, the one looking towards the north. #MeasuringGoals
21. On one side there were three small rooms, and on the opposite side, too. The posts and arches were identical to those of the first entrance: 50 cubits long and 25 cubits wide. (Arches can also be called galleries or porches.)
22. The windows, arches, and palm trees were all set up to match the dimensions of the east-facing gate. You climbed up to it using seven steps, with arches right in front of you.
23. There was this gate in the inner court, directly opposite the gate to the north and east. They measured the distance between the gates, and it was about a hundred cubits.
24. Then, he showed me the southern side, and guess what? There was a gate facing south! He measured the posts and arches carefully.
25. So, this impressive building had windows everywhere, even in the cool arches. And these windows were just like the others, you know? The length of the building was around fifty cubits, and the width was about twenty-five cubits.
26. This awesome spot had, like, seven steps to climb up, and there were these stylish arches in front. Plus, there were palm trees, one on each side, adding some major aesthetic vibes to the whole setup.
27. There was this really cool gate in the inner court on the south side. And this guy, he totally measured from one gate to another on the south side, and it was like a hundred cubits, man!
28. Then he took me to the relaxed inner court through the south gate, and he measured the south gate with these dimensions;
29. There were these neat little rooms, and the neat beams, and the neat arches, all measured out and stuff. And there were windows in it and in the arches all around, like super chic. It was 50 cubits long and 25 cubits wide. So cool!
30. The archways all around were 25 cubits in length and 5 cubits wide.
31. The entrances faced the outer courtyard, with stylish palm trees adorning the pillars. There were eight steps leading up to it.
32. Then he took me into the ultra-exclusive inner court on the east side, and he carefully measured the gate using those exact measurements.
33. The neat rooms, posts, and arches were all measured perfectly. There were windows all around, making it a chill hangout spot. It measured fifty cubits long and twenty-five cubits wide.
34. The entrances faced the outer courtyard, with palm trees on the posts on both sides. To get to it, there were eight steps going up.
35. He showed me the north gate and measured it with these dimensions;
36. Inside, there were these little rooms with beams, frames, and windows all around. It measured 50 cubits long and 25 cubits wide.
37. The walls faced the outer courtyard and had palm trees carved into them on both sides, with eight steps leading up to it.
38. The rooms and entrances were next to the gate posts, where they prepared the burnt offerings.
39. At the entrance of the gate, there were two tables on each side. These were used for the burnt offering, sin offering, and trespass offering.
40. Outside, by the entrance of the north gate, there were two tables. And on the opposite side, near the entrance of the gate, there were two more tables.
41. In total, there were four tables on one side and four on the other side, next to the gate—eight tables in all, where they offered their sacrifices.
42. The four tables were made of solid stone for the burnt offering, measuring a cubit and a half long, a cubit and a half wide, and one cubit high. That’s where they placed the tools used to slaughter the animals for the burnt offering and the sacrifice.
43. There were these sturdy hooks, really wide and secure; on the tables, there was the flesh of the offering. Those hooks could be used like andirons or even as the two hearthstones, you know?
44. Near the inner gate of the courtyard, by the north gate, there were chill rooms for the singers. They had a sweet view towards the south, and another room by the east gate had a view towards the north.
45. He said, ‘Hey, check out this awesome room! It’s facing south and it’s totally for the priests, who are responsible for taking care of the house.’
46. The north-facing room is where the priests, responsible for caring for the altar, stay. These are the awesome guys from the Zadok crew, part of the Levi squad, who get to be close to the LORD and serve Him.
47. He checked out the court, super fresh with its hundred cubits long and wide, all squared up and everything. And the altar in front of the house, chill vibes!
48. Then he brought me to the front of the house and measured each pillar of the porch. They were five cubits wide on one side and five cubits wide on the other side. The gate itself was three cubits wide on one side and three cubits wide on the other side.
49. The porch was about 20 cubits long and 11 cubits wide. Dude, I climbed up there using these cool steps. And there were pillars by the posts, one on this side and another on that side. Such awesome vibes.

1. So, he brought me to the temple and checked out the posts. They were about six cubits thick, just like the ones in the tabernacle.
2. The entrance was massive, yo! It spanned 10 cubits wide, with each side stretching 5 cubits. The length was 40 cubits and the width 20 cubits. (door: or, entrance)
3. Then he went inside and measured the doorframe, which was two cubits thick. The door itself stood tall at six cubits and was seven cubits wide.
4. So he busted out his measuring tape and checked it out, like, 20 cubits long and 20 cubits wide, right there in front of the temple. And he was like, ‘Whoa, this is seriously the most holy place ever!’
5. So, he measured the wall of the house, it was about six cubits thick, and each side room was four cubits wide, all around the house on every side.
6. And there were three layers of side chambers, making a total of thirty rooms lined up. They were part of the house’s structure for support, but not directly attached to the main building.
7. So, the house had these rooms that were expanding and rising, which was pretty amazing. It was like this spiral thing that wrapped around the house, getting wider as it went higher. So, from the ground floor to the top floor, it gradually grew bigger in the middle. It was like…whoa.
8. So, I checked out the house and it was, like, super tall and all, and the side rooms had these massive foundations that were about six cubits high, made from really sturdy reed and stuff.
9. The outer wall was solid, like five cubits thick. Inside, that’s where the side rooms were set up.
10. Between each set of rooms around the house, there was a space of twenty cubits.
11. The doors to these side rooms were on the left side, one facing north and the other south. The gap between them was about five cubits all around.
12. So, the structure in front of the separate area at the far west end was like 70 cubits wide. The walls of this building were about 5 cubits thick all around, and it stretched about 90 cubits long.
13. Then he measured the main house, which was a solid hundred cubits long, and also this other area with the building and its walls, both also a hundred cubits long.
14. The front of the house and the area in front of it towards the east were about a hundred cubits wide.
15. Then he measured the length of the building in the back, with those awesome walkways and everything. These walkways were also a hundred cubits long and connected to the inner temple and courtyards. The walkways were really fancy, with pillars and everything.
16. The door frames, little windows, and three-level balconies around the door were all crafted from wood. The wooden ceilings extended from the ground up to the windows, which were shuttered.
17. From the ceiling inside the house to the outside, every measurement was spot on, covering the entire area inside and out.
18. And they decked it out with some rad cherubim and palm trees for flair, like a palm tree chillin’ between two cherubs. Oh, and each cherub had two faces—talk about a double vibe!
19. So, there was this dope setup where the faces of dudes were looking towards one side of the palm tree, and the faces of young lions were posted up on the other side. This whole vibe was throughout the entire house, you know? Super cool!
20. They crafted these awesome cherubim and palm trees from the ground up to above the door, and they were also engraved on the temple wall.
21. The temple had square posts and a sanctuary that matched perfectly in appearance.
22. The wooden altar was about three cubits tall and two cubits long. It had wooden corners and walls and everything. Then he said, ‘Hey, listen up, this table is for the LORD.’
23. So, the temple and the sanctuary had these two awesome doors, you know?
24. And these doors had two panels on each side, like double doors, you know? So each door had two panels, and there were two doors—one with two panels and the other with two panels too.
25. They decorated the doors of the temple with cherubim and palm trees, just like they did on the walls. The porch had sturdy beams on the outside.
26. There were these neat little windows and palm trees on one side, and on the other side, there were impressive porches with rooms and strong walls.

Sure, here’s a Gen Z-style rendition of those Bible verses:

1. So, he took me to this spot called the utter court, heading north. Then he showed me this room right across from another place, in front of the building on the northern side.
2. The north door used to be super big—like 100 cubits long and 50 cubits wide!
3. In front of the inner court’s twenty meters, and next to the cool flooring for the outer court, there were multiple levels of walkways all lined up neatly.
4. There was this cool hallway leading to the rooms, about 10 cubits wide and extending in about 1 cubit deep. And the doors were facing north, you know.
5. So, like, the upper rooms were shorter than the galleries, you know? The galleries were taller than the lower rooms and the middle section of the building. And, like, the lower rooms and the middle section were part of the whole building vibe.
6. So, there were three levels, but no pillars like those in the courtyards, so the building was kinda squeezed, especially compared to the bottom and middle floors on the ground.
7. And the wall that faced the rooms, toward the open area in front of the rooms, was like fifty cubits long.
8. Yo, the rooms in the outer courtyard were fifty cubits long, and check it—there was a hundred cubits of space in front of the temple.
9. And the entrance on the east side is under these chambers, it’s how you get into them from the outer court. That’s where the person who brought me in came from.
10. The rooms were built in the thick part of the court wall, facing east, right across from the special area and the main building.
11. The path ahead of them was like those sleek rooms on the north side, as spacious and stylish as they were. Each entrance had its own vibe and design.
12. At the front of the hallway, facing south, there was a door that led straight to the east wall. This was how you got into the chambers.
13. So he explained to me, the rooms to the north and south, in front of the special area, they’re sacred places where the priests who get close to the LORD eat the most holy food. They also place the grain offering, sin offering, and guilt offering there because it’s a holy place.
14. When the priests step inside, they can’t just leave the sacred spot and walk into the main courtyard. They have to leave their work gear there ’cause it’s super holy, and then change into different clothes before going near the stuff meant for the people.
15. So after he measured the inner spot, he took me to the dope gate facing east and checked out its dimensions from every angle.
16. He busted out this measuring stick to size up the east side, which was like 500 reeds all around. (FYI: Reed in Hebrew means ‘wind’)
17. Then he scoped the north side, like around 500 reeds, using the same measuring stick all around.
18. He whipped out his measuring stick and sized up the southern side—it was like 500 reeds long.
19. Then he flipped to the west and used his measuring gadget to check out another 500 reeds.
20. He measured all four sides: the wall surrounded it, 500 reeds long and 500 wide, to separate the sacred area from the regular space.

1. Then he took me to this totally rad gate, you know, the one facing east and all:
2. Yo, peep this! The awesomeness of the God of Israel appeared, coming from the east side. His voice was like the sound of endless crashing waves, and the whole earth shimmered with His glorious splendor.
3. So, like, the vision I saw was exactly as I imagined, you know? It was totally like the vision I had when I first came to bring ruin to the city. It had the same vibe as the vision I had by the river Chebar. I was so blown away by it, I just fell flat on my face, dude.
4. And God’s epic light show entered the scene through the entrance that faces the sunrise.
5. Yo, the spirit totally transported me into the inner court, and bam, the whole place was glowing with the glory of the LORD.
6. So there I was, just hanging out in the house, when suddenly I hear this voice speaking to me. And then, this guy shows up and stands next to me.
7. And he’s like, “Hey dude, listen up, I gotta tell you something important. The place where I’m gonna hang out, and where I’m gonna vibe with the Israel crew forever, it’s gonna be super sacred. The house of Israel better not disrespect it by doing shady stuff, and their kings better not mess it up with their messed up ways and dead bodies in their fancy places.”
8. They totally invaded my personal space and boundaries, setting up their own stuff right next to mine. The worst part is, they went ahead and defiled my sacred name by doing all sorts of vile things. It made me so angry that I had to discipline them seriously!
9. Okay, they better stop their immoral behavior and get rid of the dead bodies of their rulers, like really far away from me. And if they do, I’ll totally hang with them forever.
10. Hey man, take the house and show it to the people of Israel so they can feel ashamed about all the messed up stuff they’ve been doing. And also, let them check out the awesome blueprint or design or whatever.
11. And if they feel sorry for everything they’ve done, give them a virtual tour of the house, with the layout, entrances, exits, and all the details, along with the rules and laws. Write it all out in front of them so they can understand and follow every aspect of it.
12. Hey, check it out! Here’s the deal: The rules for this place are that the highest point of the mountain is super sacred, like, all around it. No kidding, this is how it goes down in this spot.
13. And here are the measurements of the altar: The measurement itself is a cubit and a handbreadth; the base is a cubit, and the width is also a cubit, with a border around it measuring a span. This is the raised part of the altar.
14. And from the ground to the lower platform will be two cubits high and one cubit wide; and from the smaller platform to the larger one will be four cubits long and one cubit wide.
15. The altar should stand four cubits tall, with four horns extending from the top. The altar is like a God-sized mountain, sturdy and powerful like a lion!
16. The altar will be, like, twelve cubits long and twelve cubits wide, all squared off on each side.
17. The platform will be 14 cubits long and 14 cubits wide, making a perfect square. It’ll have a border that’s half a cubit wide, and the base will measure one cubit all around. The stairs will face east.
18. And he said, “Hey, Son of man, listen up! This is what the Lord GOD says: These are the rules for the altar when they set it up to offer burnt offerings and sprinkle blood on it.
19. Make sure you give props to those original priests, the Levites from the Zadok crew, who stay close to me and serve me,” says the Lord GOD. They deserve a young bull as an offering for their sins.
20. And take some of the blood and dab it on the four horns and the four corners of the altar and all around the edges. That’s how you make it all clean and fresh again.
21. Yo, take that sin offering bull and burn it up in the designated place outside the sanctuary.
22. On the second day, bring a perfect goat to make up for sins. Then clean the altar, just like when it was cleaned with a bull.
23. After cleaning it up, bring a flawless young bull and a spotless ram from the flock as sacrifices.
24. Present them to the LORD, and the priests will sprinkle salt on them before offering them as burnt offerings to the LORD.
25. Yo, for a whole week, you gotta bring a goat every single day as a sin offering. And don’t forget, you gotta bring a fresh young bull and a flawless ram from the flock too.
26. Throughout that week, they’ll purify and consecrate the altar, and they’ll dedicate themselves completely.
27. Once those days are done, starting on the eighth day, the priests will handle your burnt offerings and peace offerings on the altar. And I, the Lord GOD, will joyfully accept you.

1. So, he brought me back to the gate of the sanctuary that faces east, and it was totally shut, dude.
2. So, like, the LORD was all like, ‘Hey, pay attention! This gate is gonna be locked down tight, no way it’s gonna open. No one’s gonna be able to get in, got it? And you know why? It’s because the LORD, the God of Israel, has already entered through it, so it’s staying closed.’
3. Yo, this spot is VIP for the boss; he’s gonna hang here, eating bread right in front of the LORD. He’s gotta enter through that gate’s porch and bounce the same way.
4. Then he guided me to the north gate facing the house. When I scoped it out, whoa, God’s glory filled the entire house of the LORD. It was so mind-blowing that I couldn’t handle it and just fell flat on my face.
5. Yo, dude, check it out! The Big Guy upstairs said to me, ‘Hey, son of man, pay attention and soak in everything I’m about to tell you about the rules and regulations of the LORD’s place, including all its laws. And don’t forget to note how you enter and exit the sanctuary.’
6. Yo, listen up, Israel! The Lord GOD’s got something to say: Stop with all the messed-up stuff already!
7. Seriously, you brought in people who don’t even care about me or follow my ways into my sacred space? They’re not even down with the whole circumcision thing, both physically and in their hearts. Now they’re trashing my sanctuary, my house, while you’re trying to offer up my holy bread, fat, and blood. They totally disrespected our deal because of all the messed-up stuff you’ve been doing. For real, these people aren’t even part of our crew.
8. And y’all haven’t been taking care of my sacred stuff. Instead, you put yourselves in charge of my holy duties in my sanctuary.
9. The Lord GOD says: No outsider with a closed-off heart or body can come into my sacred space, not even if they’re with the children of Israel.
10. So, there were these Levites who totally bailed on me when Israel went off track and started worshipping idols. Guess what? They’re gonna have to own up to their wrongdoing.
11. But check it, they’re gonna be like the VIP squad in my holy place, holding it down at the entrance of the crib, handling all the behind-the-scenes work: they’ll manage those burnt offerings and sacrifices for the people, and they’ll be right there ready to serve them.
12. Yo, ’cause they were all about serving those idols, leading the people of Israel into sin, I had to step in, no cap. The Lord GOD raised His hand against them. They’re gonna face the consequences for their wrongs, straight up.
13. And there’s no way they can step up to do that priest stuff or get near any of my sacred things in the ultra-holy place. Nope, not gonna happen. Instead, they gotta deal with the shame of their actions and all the disgusting stuff they’ve done.
14. But yo, I’m still gonna assign them to look after the house and take care of all the work that needs to be done there.
15. Yo, these Levite priests, especially the sons of Zadok, who stayed loyal to taking care of my sacred place when the Israelites started driftin’ away from me, they’re the ones who can come near and serve me. They’ll be right up in my presence to offer up the good stuff – the fat and the blood, you dig? That’s what the Lord GOD says, fam.
16. They’ll enter my sacred space and approach my table, carrying out their duties and obeying my commands.
17. When they step into the inner court, they gotta rock linen clothes and skip the wool. This rule goes for when they’re handling business at the gates of the inner court and inside it.
18. They gotta sport fresh linen headgear and chill linen pants around their waist; nothing that makes ’em sweat. Keepin’ it cool, no sweat vibes, man.
19. And when they go out to the main area where the people are, they gotta change out of their work gear and leave it in the special rooms, then switch into fresh clothes. Their clothes shouldn’t be what makes the people holy.
20. They can’t shave their heads, but they can’t let their hair get super long either; they can only keep it trimmed.
21. Priests can’t sip any wine when they step into the inner court.
22. They shouldn’t marry widows or divorced women. Instead, they should marry young women who are from the house of Israel, or widows who were previously married to priests.
23. And they’ll school my peeps on what’s holy and what’s not cool, helping them distinguish between the sacred and the profane.
24. And when there’s a dispute, they’ll handle it in court; they’ll make just decisions according to my rules. They’ll respect and follow my laws and regulations whenever we gather. And they’ll honor and keep my special days of rest.
25. They can’t go near any dead person to avoid becoming impure, unless it’s their father, mother, son, daughter, brother, or unmarried sister. In those cases, it’s okay to become impure.
26. Yo, after he’s fully purified, they gotta give him a whole seven days.
27. And when he steps into the holy place, the chill inner court, to do his thing in there, he’s gotta bring his sin offering, says the Lord GOD.
28. And it’s gonna be like, their complete inheritance, you know? Like, they’re totally gonna have me as their inheritance. And just so you know, they won’t be getting any land or property in Israel, ’cause I’m their ultimate possession.
29. They’ll chow down on the meaty offering, the sin offering, and the trespass offering; anything set apart for the LORD in Israel will totally be theirs.
30. The priest gets the prime stuff, the first and the best of everything you offer. And hey, don’t forget to give him a piece of that fresh dough, ’cause that’ll bring some serious blessings to your crib. No doubt about it!
31. The priests can’t feast on anything that died on its own or got torn up, whether it’s a bird or an animal.

1. Aight fam, when you’re dividing up the land for inheritance, don’t forget to set aside an offering for the LORD, a special piece of land that’s totally dedicated to Him. It’s gotta be 25,000 reeds long and 10,000 reeds wide. That whole area has gotta be super sacred, all around the borders and everything, you know what I’m saying?
2. Yo, the sanctuary is gonna be lit, for real. It’s gonna be 500 cubits long and 500 cubits wide, square all around. Plus, there’s gonna be 50 cubits of space for the suburbs, you know, like chill hangout spots and stuff.
3. So, like, measure this place to be 25,000 units long and 10,000 units wide. Inside, there’s gonna be the holy sanctuary and the ultra-holy place.
4. The sacred part of the land is set aside for the priests who serve in the sanctuary and worship the LORD. It’s gonna be their pad and a holy area for the sanctuary.
5. And the area’s gonna be twenty-five thousand units long and ten thousand units wide. This spot’s gonna be given to the Levites, who serve in the house, as their possession. They’ll get twenty rooms for themselves.
6. And you gotta reserve a city that’s like 5000 units wide and 25000 units long, right across from the holy spot. It’s gonna be for all the people of Israel.
7. And there’s gonna be a part for the prince on both sides of the holy area and the city’s property. It’s gonna be right in front of the holy area and the city’s property, stretching from the west side to the east side. The length will be opposite one of the sections, from the west border to the east border.
8. So here’s the deal, Israel: you keep your land. And hey, rulers, don’t mess with my people anymore. The rest of the land? Yeah, that’s going to the different tribes of the house of Israel.
9. Yo, leaders of Israel, listen up! God’s saying, “Enough already with the violence and ripping people off! It’s time to play fair and do what’s right. Stop taking advantage of my people,” says God.
10. Make sure your scales, measurements, and volumes are legit and honest.
11. Yo, make sure the ephah and the bath are the same size. That means the bath can hold one-tenth of a homer, and the ephah can hold one-tenth of a homer too. The whole measurement system is based on the homer.
12. And for currency, it’s all about shekels. One shekel equals twenty gerahs. You can have twenty shekels, or even five and twenty shekels, or fifteen shekels, and that adds up to your maneh.
13. Yo, here’s the offering you gotta bring: like a sixth of a basket full of wheat, and another sixth of a basket full of barley.
14. When you’re using oil, take one-tenth of a bath from every ten baths. That one-tenth comes from a cor, which equals ten baths. And just to be clear, ten baths equals one homer.
15. And check it, there’s gonna be this lamb, like one out of this huge flock of about two hundred, all well-fed and chillin’ in the lush pastures of Israel. This lamb’s gonna be top-notch, used for a food offering, a burnt offering, and some peace offerings to make things right with the Lord God. He’s totally calling the shots on this one, alright?
16. Everyone in the land’s gotta chip in for this offering for the leader in Israel. #sharingiscaring
17. And it’s on the prince to bring burnt offerings, food offerings, and drink offerings during the feasts, new moons, and sabbaths, and for all the special events in Israel. He’s responsible for setting things right with the sin offering, food offering, burnt offering, and peace offerings for the people of Israel.
18. Yo, God’s saying: On the first day of the first month, get a prime, flawless young bull and purify the sanctuary, no joke.
19. Then the priest takes some of the blood from the sin offering and applies it to the sides of the temple, the corners of the altar, and the sides of the gate in the inner courtyard.
20. And yo, on the seventh day of each month, this ritual’s going down. It’s for everyone who slips up sometimes, you know? Also, for those who are just kinda laid-back and learning. It’s all about making things right in the house, you feel me?
21. Yo, on the fourteenth day of the first month, it’s Passover time! You gotta celebrate for a full seven days. And remember, only munch on that unleavened bread, alright?
22. And on that day, the prince is gonna hook up everyone in the land with a big ol’ bullock as an offering to make things right for their sins.
23. During the whole week of the celebration, they gotta step up with their offerings for the LORD. Each day for seven days, bring seven flawless bulls and seven unblemished rams as burnt sacrifices. And you know what’s good? Also bring a little goat every day as a sin offering. It’s all about showing respect to the Most High.
24. And they’re gonna throw down a feast with a whole bowl of flour for each bull, another bowl for each ram, and about a quart of oil for each bowl.
25. On the seventh month, on the fifteenth day, they gotta do the same thing they do during the week-long celebration. You know, all that sin offering, burnt offering, grain offering, and oil stuff.

1. Aight, peep this! Here’s what the Lord GOD’s saying: The entrance to the inner court facing east is gonna stay shut six days a week, but come Sabbath and the new moon, it’s gonna swing wide open. Fr.
2. Then the prince rolls through that gate and posts up beside it. The priests will set up his burnt offering and peace offerings, and he’ll chill at the entrance. After that, he’ll bounce, but the gate stays open till evening.
3. Yo, check it out! The folks of the land gonna be straight up worshiping at the entrance of this gate, showing major respect to the LORD on the sabbaths and new moons.
4. On the Sabbath day, the prince gotta roll up with six flawless lambs and a flawless ram as a burnt offering to the Lord.
5. And for the ram, the meat offering should be stacked, and for the lambs, it’s gotta be according to what he can bring. Plus, there should be plenty of oil – a whole hin’s worth for the offering.
6. When it’s time to hit reset, you gotta bring a flawless young bullock, six lambs, and a ram. All of them gotta be on point, no flaws allowed.
7. And you gotta drop a sick food offering, like an ephah for the bull and another for the ram. For the lambs, it’s whatever he can handle, plus a hin of oil for each ephah.
8. And when the VIP arrives, they’ll come through the porch of that lit gate, and they’ll dip out the same way.
9. But yo, when the crew gathers to worship the LORD at the lit feasts, whoever comes in through the north gate gotta peace out through the south gate, and whoever enters through the south gate gotta bounce through the north gate, ya dig? No going back through the same gate, but you gotta dip through the opposite one, straight up.
10. And the leader, yo, they gonna be right in the mix—when they come in, they come in, and when they leave, they bounce.
11. When it’s time for the feasts and special events, the food offering gotta be on point—enough to satisfy a bullock, a ram, however many lambs are up for grabs, and a decent amount of oil.
12. So, when the boss wants to drop a chill offering or peace offering to the big man upstairs, someone should pop open the east-facing gate for him. He can then handle his biz with the burnt offering and peace offerings, just like on Sabbath. Once he’s done, he can dip, and then someone can lock up the gate.
13. Yo, make sure to drop a fresh and flawless one-year-old lamb as a burnt offering to the LORD every single day. Like, make it happen every morning without fail.
14. And don’t forget to whip up a dope snack every morning—like, a sixth of a crazy amount of flour mixed with a third of a sick amount of oil, all on that fine flour. This snack offering’s gotta be on point 24/7, forever, as a sacred tradition for the Big Boss upstairs, ya know?
15. So, they gotta prep the lamb, the meat, and the oil every morning for a continuous burnt offering.
16. Yo, check it! This is what the Lord GOD is saying: If a prince gives a gift to one of his sons, that gift is gonna be his son’s, straight up. It’s gonna be their own, their inheritance, you know what I’m saying?
17. But if he hooks up one of his servants with part of his inheritance, that servant gets to hold onto it until the year of freedom. Then it goes back to the prince, but his main inheritance stays with his sons forever.
18. Also, the ruler can’t just snatch up the people’s land and kick them out. Instead, he should give his own kids land from his own stash. This way, my peeps won’t be scattered and lose their rightful land.
19. So, he took me through this entryway, right next to the gate, and we ended up in the holy chambers of the priests. And check it, those chambers were facing north, and surprise, surprise, there were these rooms on both sides facing west!
20. Basically, he told me this is where the priests are gonna cook up the trespass offering and the sin offering. They’ll also bake the meat offering here instead of taking it outside to the courtyard, to keep everything all sacred and respectful.
21. So he took me out into the main area and had me check out each of the four corners. And you know what? In each corner, there was another smaller area. It was like a mini court within a court, happening in every corner!
22. In the four corners of the court, there were attached courts that measured 40 cubits long and 30 cubits wide. These four corners were all uniform in size, totally consistent.
23. There were these cool buildings all around, like four of them, with awesome spots underneath for cooking.
24. So, he was like, “Yo, peep this, these are the spots where they do the boiling, you know? That’s where the crew handles the sacrifices from the people.”

1. So, he took me back to the house entrance, and whoa, water started flowing out from under the doorstep towards the east. The house was all east-facing, and the water came out from under the right side, near the south side of the altar.
2. Then he led me away from the north gate and took me to the outer gate facing east. And bam, water gushed out on the right side!
3. So, the guy with the measuring tape starts walking east. He measures a thousand cubits and guides me through the water. The water’s like ankle-deep, man.
4. Dude, he measures another thousand and takes me through these waters. Now the water’s up to my knees, bro. Then he measures another thousand and takes me through again, and now the water’s up to my waist.
5. Then he measured another thousand, and there was this massive river that was totally raging, like a mega swimming pool you couldn’t just cross. It was seriously impassable, dude! The kind of waters you swim in, you know what I mean? (btw, the Hebrew says ‘waters of swimming’)
6. And he was like, “Hey dude, did you see that?” Then he took me and brought me back to the edge of the river.
7. So, when I got back, I peeped a bunch of trees lined up by the river on both sides. It was awesome, tbh. (btw, ‘bank’ means ‘lip’ in Hebrew)
8. And he said to me, “Listen up, these waters flow east towards the land, then they hit up the desert, and eventually flow into the sea. When they reach the sea, they bring healing vibes to the waters. It’s a complete transformation, no joke. (P.S. desert can also mean a plain, just so you know)”
9. And it’s gonna be wild, like, everything that’s alive and moving, wherever the rivers flow, is gonna come alive. There’s gonna be a massive amount of fish, ’cause these waters will flow there and make ’em all better. Everything’s gonna be thriving wherever this river goes. (rivers: Hebrew for two rivers)
10. Yo, picture this: there are gonna be tons of fishers lined up all along this stretch from Engedi to Eneglaim. It’s gonna be the perfect spot to cast their nets, and they’re gonna catch all kinds of fish, just like what you find in the vast ocean, like, so many, it’s unreal.
11. But the nasty, swampy spots won’t get better; they’ll just become salty wastelands.
12. And by the riverbanks, on both sides, there will be all kinds of trees that bear fruit for food. Their leaves won’t ever wither, and their fruit will keep coming. This happens because their water comes from a holy place, and the fruit isn’t just for eating—those leaves have healing powers for bruises and sores.
13. God said, “Hey, listen up, everyone! This is gonna be the real deal border for you to inherit the land, divided among the twelve tribes of Israel. But check it out, Joseph is gonna score not one, but two awesome portions.”
14. And all of you are gonna receive this land as your inheritance, together, hand in hand. I promised your ancestors that I would give it to them, and now it’s gonna be yours. It’s like a complete gift just for you. No doubt, this land is yours to keep!
15. This is gonna be the northern boundary of the land, starting from the great sea and passing through Hethlon to Zedad, the usual route.
16. Yo, peep this – we’ve got Hamath, Berothah, Sibraim, all chillin’ between Damascus and the border of Hamath. Oh, and don’t forget Hazar-hatticon near the coast of Hauran, that spot in the middle of everything.
17. And the boundary line from the sea will go to Hazarenan, then to the outskirts of Damascus, and further north, all the way to Hamath. This is the northern side we’re talking about.
18. Yo, make sure you measure the east side from Hauran, Damascus, Gilead, and the land of Israel near the Jordan River, all the way to the east sea. That’s the east side for you!
19. And the southern part goes from Tamar down to the conflict zone in Kadesh, where the river flows into the vast ocean. This marks the southern boundary. (The conflict zone is also called Meribah, and the river can be referred to as a valley. The southern boundary can also be described as facing Teman.)
20. On the west side, it’s gonna stretch from the border all the way to where a person hits Hamath. Yep, that’s the west side for you.
21. Alright, fam, it’s time to divvy up this land among the tribes of Israel.
22. And here’s the deal, y’all gonna choose your portions by chance as your possession. Even the newcomers hanging with you, who’ll have kids among you, they’ll be just like one of the crew among the Israelites; they’ll get a share with you among the tribes of Israel.
23. And listen up, wherever a stranger chills in a tribe, that’s where you gotta set him up with his inheritance, says the Lord GOD.

1. Here are the tribes’ names. Starting from the north, going all the way from Hethlon down the road to Hamath, Hazarenan, and up to Damascus’ border heading north to the coast of Hamath. This zone, east and west, is for Dan.
2. And, like, next to Dan’s border, from the east side to the west side, that’s where Asher’s land is gonna be.
3. And right next to Asher, from sunrise to sunset, that’s the section for Naphtali.
4. And yo, on the edge of Naphtali, from east to west, there’s this whole region set aside just for Manasseh, you feel me?
5. And like, on the edge of Manasseh, from, like, the east side to the west side, there’s, like, a rad piece of land for Ephraim.
6. And on the outskirts of Ephraim, spanning from east to west, there shall be a designated spot for Reuben.
7. And like, Reuben’s territory stretches from the east to the west, and there’s this awesome portion set aside for Judah, you know?
8. And along the border of Judah, from east to west, you shall designate an offering that measures 25,000 reeds wide and the same length as the other portions, from east to west. And the sanctuary shall be right in the middle of it.
9. The offering you gotta give to the LORD has to be massive, like 25,000 long and 10,000 wide.
10. And for the priests, there’s gonna be this super holy offering! It’s like 25,000 long toward the north, 10,000 wide toward the west and east, and another 25,000 long toward the south. And the LORD’s special place will be right in the middle!
11. This is for the rad priests from the crew of Zadok. They stayed loyal and didn’t stray when all the Israelites were lost, just like the Levites. This special portion is theirs!
12. And the offering from the land they receive shall be super sacred to the Levites at the edge of their territory.
13. Next to the area set apart for the priests, the Levites get their own space, measuring twenty-five thousand in length and ten thousand in width. The whole thing is twenty-five thousand long and ten thousand wide.
14. And they can’t sell any of it, or trade it, or give away the firstfruits of the land because it’s totally sacred to the LORD.
15. And the remaining five thousand, which are opposite the twenty-five thousand, will be a spot for the city, for living, and for the surrounding areas. And the city will be right in the middle.
16. Here are the measurements: the north side is about four thousand five hundred units, the south side is four thousand five hundred units, the east side is four thousand five hundred units, and the west side is also four thousand five hundred units.
17. And the areas around the city will stretch to the north for a solid 250, and to the south for another 250, and to the east for a chill 250, and to the west for a dope 250.
18. There will be a leftover area on each side of the sacred offering, extending ten thousand units to the east and ten thousand units to the west. This area will be opposite the sacred offering, and its produce will be used as food for those who serve the city.
19. And all the peeps reppin’ their tribes in Israel gonna serve the city together, for real.
20. You gotta bring a total of 25,000 offerings, each 25,000 wide, making ’em perfectly square and dedicated to God. Remember, it’s part of the city’s sacred possessions!
21. The remaining land is for the prince, on both sides of the sacred area and the city’s land. It’s opposite the 25,000 units of land on the east border and the other 25,000 units on the west border. This land is for the prince’s portions and is considered holy. The temple of the house will be right in the middle of it all.
22. Additionally, the Levites and the city’s property, which is located between Judah and Benjamin, will belong to the prince.
23. And concerning the remaining tribes, from one side to the other, Benjamin will secure some land. It’s gonna be his own piece, you know. Like, a genuine portion, you feel?
24. And like, on the edge of Benjamin, from sunrise to sunset, Simeon gets this totally rad piece of land.
25. And on the border of Simeon, from east to west, there was a piece of land given to Issachar.
26. On the edge of Issachar, from sunrise to sunset, Zebulun gets their spot.
27. And, like, next to Zebulun’s border, from the east side to the west side, Gad gets their piece of land.
28. And, like, Gad’s southern border starts from Tamar, goes to that place where they had the big argument in Kadesh, and then continues to the river by the cool ocean. It’s kinda intense, you know. #ConflictResolution
29. Yo, this is the land you’re gonna split up between the tribes of Israel as their inheritance, and these are their portions, says the Lord GOD.
30. So, like, here’s the deal, these are the city’s boundaries on the north side, and, get this, it’s like, four thousand five hundred measures long. Insane, right?
31. And the cool gates of the city are gonna be named after the tribes of Israel, you know? Three chill gates up north: one for Reuben, one for Judah, and one for Levi.
32. On the east side, there were 4,500 measures, and three entrances: one gate named after Joseph, another after Benjamin, and one more after Dan.
33. On the southern side, there were 4,500 measures and three gates: a cool gate for Simeon, a rad gate for Issachar, and a lit gate for Zebulun.
34. On the west side, there were a total of 4,500 measures, with three lit gates: one for Gad, one for Asher, and one for Naphtali.
35. The city is gonna be, like, 18,000 measures all around. And the name of the city from that day on is gonna be, like, “The LORD is there.” #Blessed #JehovahShammah